by D. J. McCune
By happy coincidence I am considered something of a poet amongst my close acquaintances. I can’t promise to write a hayki but I have several long poems written about the sport I love and a very special woman in my life. My students will be thrilled to hear me speak from the heart in our next assembly.
Bulber
PS: Should I video my speech to prove it took place? Or will that not be necessary as one man of honour to another?
There was a stunned silence as they digested the content of the email. Then, slowly, Archie began punching the air, an expression of the most profound happiness on his face. ‘This is un-be-lievable!’
Adam had to clear his throat before he could speak. ‘Is he … He’s actually going to read them out? Like, in assembly? And he’s offering to video it?’
Dan whipped out his inhaler. ‘I’m not sure I can take this.’ He took a quick puff and breathed deeply. ‘I mean, this is going to be like watching a car crash in slow motion.’
Not exactly, Adam thought but didn’t say anything. ‘He is going to totally humiliate himself.’
Even Archie shifted uncomfortably in his chair. ‘He’ll never live it down.’
Spike stared around at them, face aghast. ‘What is the matter with you lot?!’ He stood up to better make his point. ‘Why are you feeling sorry for that nutter? He wants to cancel the Japan trip and make us spend a week gouging each other’s eyes out!’ He shook his head, disgusted at their lack of spine. ‘He deserves it!’
The plan might have fallen apart at that point when another ping signalled a new message in the sensei’s inbox. There was a lot of pushing and shoving to read it.
PPS: Just wanted to tell you how excited I am about this. I’ve been meaning to share my words of wisdom with the pupils for some time now and this has given me the push I needed. I look forward to sending you the video so you can see the profound and powerful effect of my message.
B
They stared at the screen, mouths gaping. ‘He’s as mad as a badger,’ whispered Archie, shaking his head in awe.
Spike grinned. ‘Gentlemen, this is what is called a win-win situation. No reason to hold back now. He wants to do it!’
Dan took another hit from his inhaler. ‘I’m going to see if I can borrow my dad’s camcorder. It’s one of those tiny spy ones that looks like a pen. I want to be able to watch it over and over and over …’
Spike turned to Adam and raised an eyebrow. ‘You’re not chickening out, are you?’
‘Of course not!’ Adam scowled. ‘He’s signed his own death warrant as far as I’m concerned!’ He wasn’t a saint. If The Bulb was that stupid all Adam could do was stand back and enjoy the show.
‘Excellent!’ Spike clasped his hands almost as if in prayer. ‘Gentlemen, remember this day. On Thursday in assembly The Bulb will make school history. It’s a day that will never be forgotten – but we’re the only ones who’ll ever know that it started right here, right now.’
Dan stood up, totally overexcited. ‘Who’s with me?!’
They stared at him in silence. Spike sighed. ‘There are some things you just can’t teach …’
It was biology after break. Adam took his time walking there. He was so busy pretending that he didn’t care if Melissa was there that he almost knocked her over in the doorway. When she turned and glared, he started, flushed and tittered all at the same time. ‘Sorry. Didn’t see you.’ That laugh made me sound like a little girl … Inside his mind he watched his mirror image slap his own forehead.
‘Earth to Adam,’ she muttered, waving her hand in front of his eyes.
Adam gave her a toothy grin. ‘That’s what my name means actually.’ His smile wavered in the face of her look of honest confusion. ‘You know, “Adam”. It means earth. Or man. Something like that.’
She made that face he was coming to recognise – the one that said she thought he was a bit mental but probably harmless. Shrugging, she flung her bag under the bench and sank onto her stool. Her cheeks were pale and she had dark circles under her eyes. She was quiet again today, setting up equipment without her usual chat.
Adam studied her while he pretended to read through their method sheet. He obviously wasn’t as subtle as he thought because without even turning towards him she said, ‘You’re doing the staring thing again.’
‘What? Staring? Not staring …’ he mumbled and retreated behind his notebook.
Melissa sighed and turned her laser eyes on him. ‘You were staring. But it’s OK. I know I look like crap.’
‘Were you sick last week or something?’ Belatedly, he wished he had told her that she didn’t look crap. She looked very not-crap. As always. That last thought made him feel uneasy.
Something haunted crossed her face. ‘I wasn’t.’ She saw his unspoken question and sighed. ‘My mum wasn’t well. She gets sick sometimes.’
‘Oh right.’ Adam stared at the bench, wishing he knew what he was supposed to say. He didn’t want to sound nosy and he didn’t want to seem like he wasn’t interested. Caught between those twin impulses he decided to play it safe and say nothing at all.
Oddly enough this seemed to be the invitation she needed to talk. ‘She’s been sick a lot recently. I keep telling her to go to the doctor but she’s scared to miss work.’
‘What does she do?’
‘She works in a shop. It’s pretty near where we live.’ Melissa chewed her lip. ‘She was walking home last week with her friend and she just fell down. Right on the street.’ Her hand made a soft thud on the bench. ‘She said she was just tired.’
Adam frowned. ‘She should go to the doctor. Her boss has to give her time off work for that.’
‘Oh, does he really?’ Melissa gave him a look somewhere between pity and contempt. ‘He doesn’t have to do anything. Where we live there aren’t that many jobs around. If you’re the boss you make the rules.’ She shook her head, clearly regretting the whole conversation. ‘What do your parents do?’
Adam hated the question but he had a well-rehearsed answer. ‘My dad’s a businessman. He travels a lot. And my mum doesn’t do anything.’ Except make me feel useless. He felt an unexpected twinge of guilt, thinking about his neatly folded clothes and tidy bedroom. ‘You know, she stays at home. Looks after us. Makes big dinners.’
She gave him an odd, tight smile. ‘Must be nice.’
Something clenched in Adam’s stomach and stung him into answering. ‘Not really. It must be boring as hell. Anyway she couldn’t have worked.’
Melissa looked at him curiously. ‘Why not?’
Adam silently cursed himself. For about a millisecond he imagined telling her the truth. Excellent question, Melissa. We’re actually weirdos with supernatural powers, who send dead people into the afterlife. We’re also real chauvinists who think women should stay at home having little Luman babies and cooking, whether they want to or not. It was a sweet thought but he settled for saying, ‘It’s against her beliefs.’
He regretted it as soon as he saw her eyes widen. ‘Is she some weird religion?’
‘You are a girl after all,’ he muttered. Where he’d gone wrong was answering the first question. That was how they got you. You thought there was only going to be one but it was like a snowball rolling down a hill and turning into an avalanche. After surviving Auntie Jo’s grilling technique he should have been prepared but somehow Melissa had sneaked below his radar.
She was smiling a little, as if she’d read his mind. ‘Am I asking too many questions?’
He shrugged. ‘Kind of. But it’s OK. It’s just that we need to finish up.’
She arched one eyebrow. ‘I’ll have to get you on your own some time.’
It was like everything stopped. Adam froze on the spot. What did she mean, get him on his own? Was that a threat or a promise? And where would she ever get him on his own? Did she want to meet up with him outside school? He suddenly realised he was hoping that was exactly what she meant.
He could just ask her if she wanted to
go out. After all, they’d been talking for the last couple of weeks. Occasionally he caught her looking at him. He’d always assumed she was just checking he wasn’t doing anything mad. But maybe she was looking at him because she liked him? And if she did he had to ask her out because the hint was all he was going to get. Could he actually just ask her out there and then? All these thoughts flew through his head at the speed of light. They made him reel.
He got a grip on himself. There would never be a better time. ‘We could go out some night.’ His words fell out in a blurt, stumbling over each other, becoming one long, garbled sound. Half of him prayed that she hadn’t heard and the other half prayed that she had – because he would never find the courage to ask her again.
Her head was tilted to one side and she was giving him one of those cool, appraising looks that she specialised in. ‘Go out where?’
His heart was thumping. This was worse than sending a soul onto the Unknown Roads! Please don’t let me bleed or throw up! It will not be cool! He cleared his throat. ‘Anywhere really. We could go to the cinema?’
Her face grew thoughtful. ‘I know someone who works in the Arts Cinema. I can get free tickets when it’s quiet. I was going to go on Wednesday night.’
‘Yeah, sounds good.’ He sounded so casual. How was that even possible? He had just asked a girl out!!! Inside his chest a choir was singing, something loud and triumphant. There were trombones and fireworks.
‘OK. So I’ll get Ben to get us some tickets, will I?’
The choir faltered. One guy struggled on in a cracked falsetto. ‘Erm … yeah.’ Adam tried to find a way to ask the next question without sounding pathetic. ‘Is Ben your friend? Or … you know …’
Melissa shrugged. ‘Oh, just a friend.’ She paused and gave him a mischievous look. ‘Let’s just say that you’re more his type than I am.’
‘Oh right.’ Adam coughed but the choir was back in business. ‘That’s great. For me, I mean.’ He stopped and tried to let his brain catch up with his mouth. ‘For me with you that is, not Ben.’ What?! He was saved, literally, by the bell.
Melissa was grinning and not quite meeting his eye. ‘You’re pretty smooth, Adam.’
He smiled weakly. ‘I try.’
She scribbled something down on a piece of paper. ‘Here’s my mobile number, OK?’ She hesitated. ‘So … just text me, yeah?’
‘Will do.’ Adam watched her walking away, resisting the temptation to wave at her back. As he made his way to his next class, he reflected that life was something of a yo-yo. One minute it was rubbish and the next it was great. The last seventy-two hours had been pretty amazing. He had saved someone’s life, set The Bulb up and got himself a date with Melissa.
His heart sang. ‘I love my life,’ he whispered.
Chapter 7
Adam spent the next forty-eight hours in an agony of suspense. He had fought the temptation to text Melissa the second she left the biology lab. He sat on his hands through most of lunchtime, earning some odd looks from his friends but by the time he got home he couldn’t resist any longer. ‘Hi this is my number Adam.’
Her reply was short and sweet. ‘OK.’ Adam had frowned and pondered every possible meaning of the word ‘OK’. Luc would have been ashamed of him. But OK what? OK, she had the number and she would be in touch? OK, whatever? OK, sucker, you didn’t actually think I was going to go out with you-OK? His heart quailed at the thought of having to face her in class if she didn’t get back to him.
His fears proved unfounded. She texted the following day to tell him that Ben had saved them tickets and was very much looking forward to meeting Adam … Adam sent a suitably casual reply and prayed that she was joking.
In registration she sat on the far side of the room from him. Adam tried not to stare but he couldn’t help himself. The more he looked at her the prettier she became. She wasn’t one of those girls that every boy in the school drooled over but there was something about her … He liked the way she walked, straight down the middle of the corridor, bag slung over one shoulder. She had a laugh with her friends but she wasn’t too giggly. She didn’t pretend to be dumb the way some girls did. And he liked the way, just occasionally, she would look up and see him watching and then she would smile.
He spent Wednesday lunchtime on his own, lurking in a quiet corridor, trying to do his homework so he would be free that night. It was there that Dan found him, scurrying along with frequent glances over his shoulder. Adam frowned, wondering what the problem was.
Dan came straight to the point. ‘OK, don’t freak out but Michael Bulber wants a word with you.’
Adam looked at him, mystified. The Bulb’s son enjoyed torturing people but Adam had never been on his radar. ‘Why would he want to talk to me?’
Dan gulped. ‘He … erm, he’s not very happy with you.’
Adam shrugged. ‘That’s tragic but somehow I’ll have to find a way to carry on.’ He could tell from Dan’s wide-eyed reaction that this wasn’t what he’d expected. Adam sighed. ‘OK, go on then, what’s his problem?’
Dan shifted from foot to foot. ‘Well, there’s kind of a rumour that you’re going out on a date with Melissa Morgan.’
Adam felt his heart swell with pride. People knew! ‘Yeah, so?’
Dan stared at him. ‘But the Beast used to go out with her.’
Adam shrugged, although inside his heart bled a little. After all, he’d thought Melissa had good taste in men … He sighed. ‘Well, she’s obviously seen the light. So she used to go out with him. Big deal! She’s not going out with him any more.’
Dan’s forehead creased. ‘But just because he’s not going out with her doesn’t mean he’s going to allow you to.’
Adam glared at him. ‘I don’t need his permission to go out with Melissa.’ He knew people were a bit scared of Michael Bulber but he found it hard to be scared of anyone who was only a couple of years older than him. There were so many things in the world to be scared of, things you couldn’t do anything about. Earthquakes, tornadoes, plane crashes, nuclear bombs. The worst thing the Beast could do was whack him or shove his head down a toilet.
Dan was gaping at him. ‘Well … OK. I just thought I had better warn you.’
‘Cheers,’ Adam mumbled. Before Dan had disappeared from view Adam was already immersed once again in his maths homework.
Hours later Adam had discovered something worth being scared about – deciding what to wear on your first date with a girl you really wanted to impress. He didn’t exactly have many choices but he laid out what he had. Black tie was probably a no-no. Idly he wondered how many guys in his year had a tuxedo tucked away in their wardrobe. He doubted too many of them were dragged along to matchmaking dinners and Luman balls.
His jeans and boots were a given but he had three different shirts he could wear. He picked the most casual one and pulled a leather jacket on over it. Standing in front of the mirror he teased his hair into a variety of shapes and styles, before squashing it back to the way he normally wore it. He would only keep playing with it all night.
He had worked out all the details – which buses to get, what time he needed to leave and how he was going to get back. He didn’t go out much at night, so he had decided to use the whole ‘doing his coursework’ thing as an excuse. Nobody else in the house even knew what coursework was so he should be able to blag it. It was only six now. He would nip downstairs, have a bite of dinner and then casually say that he was heading out for a while …
His stomach fluttered but for once it was in a good way. He was going to take a really nice girl to the cinema. They would talk and laugh and he would do everything in his power to look normal. He would even answer a million questions if that was what she wanted. He spent an idle moment wondering if she would want to kiss him, then put it out of his head. He had enough to panic about in the meantime …
There was a sudden cacophony downstairs. Morty and Sam were barking – barking in a way that made Adam’s stomach lurch. ‘Oh crap,
no way,’ he muttered, frozen with disbelief. At the same time there was a sudden pounding of feet on the stairs and Luc burst into Adam’s room.
‘Yo! You’re up. Big one, we’re all going, even the dogs.’
Adam stared at him in horror. ‘But … I mean … what’s happened?’
Luc shrugged but his voice was quivering with excitement. ‘There’s been a coup. Some country in West Africa, loads of people dead. All the fast-response Lumen are going – from everywhere!’ For once, he looked nervous. ‘This is the real deal, bro. We’ve never done anything like this. It’s going to be … serious.’
Adam’s heart sank through his feet and into the floorboards. ‘But I can’t! I have to go out.’
Luc gawked at him, then slowly shook his head. ‘You know, normally it’s kind of funny when you’re so crap at everything. But this is something major. This is what we do.’
Adam’s guts were in freefall but he made one last desperate stab at escape. ‘But you know I can’t do it! What’s the point in making me go when I’m so rubbish at the whole thing? Would you want me guiding you? I’m a liability!’
Luc opened his mouth to retort but before he could say anything Nathanial roared up the stairs. ‘Luc! Adam! Get down here!’
Adam groaned but Luc was already racing down the stairs two at a time. Adam stared at his reflection and tried to bring his thoughts under control. Maybe it won’t take long. If it’s a big job there’ll be loads of Lumen there. I just have to go, guide a few souls and not throw up on myself. I can still get to the cinema, if we’re back quickly …
‘ADAM!’ Nathanial was actually bellowing now. The dogs began to howl in chorus.
‘Coming!’ Adam squawked back and dragged his feet down the stairs. Sometimes you just had to accept that the Fates had you backed into a corner …
In the Hinterland Adam landed badly, staggering into Luc and Aron and almost falling over one of the dogs. For once he had brought a tissue and got it to his nose before his shirt could get too badly stained, still thinking about his date. But this job … this was something different. Only Nathanial had ever seen anything like it and even he stood frozen. Adam stared around the Hinterland, seeing the physical world beyond, and wished he could gouge his own eyes out, rather than see anything like this ever again. Beside him Morty and Sam whimpered, keystones gleaming on their collars.
