by K. de Long
Tessa hated the thought of taking something from someone who had so little. Even the leaves and berries for tea had to be gathered by someone and stored somewhere. It was still more than he should spare for her.
“No thank you,” she called back. “I just finished breakfast. I think if I had a single swallow, my stomach would burst.”
They seemed to like that. Mara’s eyes lit up with warmth, and the man’s eyes glowed with relief. Apparently, she’d read the situation right.
“So. Start at the beginning,” she said. “Catch me up.”
She sat on the stoop next to the man, and Mara leaned against the rail next to them as he started laying out the history.
Ordinarily, she hated this kind of scutwork. But he had records of the trades, and it seemed clear that he was telling the truth, so her indignation kept her focused.
Finally, when he started repeating himself, she stood, and dusted summertime grit off her backside. “I’ve heard enough. Why don’t you come to the quartermaster with me, and we’ll sort this out.”
Tears shone in Mara’s eyes, and she embraced Tessa. The man’s weary smile warmed Tessa through and through, though clearly he knew better than to hug another man’s mate.
“I’ll stay and watch Mercy,” Mara said. “Thank you,” she whispered to Tessa, releasing her. “You have no idea what this means.”
Mara hopped the fence into the back yard and called to the child Tessa had heard back there as Tessa led the man off toward the quartermaster.
She’d do her best for the Nefari, but only time would tell if her best would be enough.
“She did what?” Liam asked, his voice a deadly hiss.
“You heard me, M. I just came from the quartermaster. Your blushing bride threw her weight around, got Gunner the full trade, retroactively. Plus a bonus for the harm done to his family.”
Shit. How the fuck had she known to intervene? Someone must have told her. Really, he knew who, without needing to ask. “Mara?”
“Lacroix and Gunner showed up alone, but I’d put money that someone tipped her off. And Mara’s the only one who would be brazen enough to try it.”
Double shit. That just made the whole thing worse. Mara was a firecracker, of the worst sort. Beautiful as the sunrise, with an innocence in her face that her personality did not bear out.
Of course Tessa wouldn’t have come to him to ask for advice. Of course she wouldn’t have given him the chance to tell her what was what. Mara had gambled on that. And she had won.
Here he’d thought they were clever for taking advantage of the barter rates to starve Gunner out. The man was a known sympathizer of Elias’s, and while there wasn’t enough proof for Liam to prove he was a traitor and drag him into the dueling grounds, he knew the man had been funneling half his trade to Elias. Whatever resources Tessa had negotiated for the man would be going right into his enemy’s pockets.
Godfuckingdamnit. Doesn’t that woman look before she leaps?
“Where is she now?” Liam asked, trusting that Ryker would know he meant Tessa, and not his fork-tongued ex.
“Home, I think. It’s too late for us to do anything; it would make problems worse. All we can do is start again. Hagen’s doing what he can to weed him off the roster, give him less opportunity to amass more goods to feed Elias with. But we’ve gotta make sure that she knows not to intervene.”
Liam’s inner wolf growled, not liking his adviser telling him how to handle his mate. Even though Ryker was absolutely right. “I know. I’m going to go tan her hide now. It won’t happen again.”
Ryker’s eyebrow cocked, and his eyes went a little misty. Liam wanted his blood for it. Tessa was his mate. Not some piece of meat for Ryker to fantasize about. But he’d be better off saving that anger up for the impulsive, infuriating woman who had no idea of the tornado that was coming her way.
“Good luck, and godspeed,” Ryker said, turning back to his balance sheet to continue etching in the details of Tessa’s altercation’s effects on their stores.
Tessa wasn’t in the front room or the kitchen. The bathroom door was open. So she must be in her bedroom. He threw the door open; it screamed on its hinges and crashed into the wall on the other side with an appalling thunk.
She sat up, eyes wide with anxiety and bloodlust. Her hand flew into her boot for her knife before she realized it was him.
“What the fuck did you think you were doing?” he roared.
“Excuse me?”
“Gunner. Who told you to meddle?”
“You can’t be everywhere all the time,” she said, her voice placating. She had no idea what she’d done. “I saw an injustice, so I fixed it.”
“You made it worse. You took food out of our warriors’ mouths and gave it to a racketeering traitor. Who told you to?”
“No one told me to. Mara came here to see you, and you weren’t here, so I asked her to tell me what was wrong.”
That confirmed it. He should have warned her about Mara sooner, but he hadn’t figured the silver-tongued woman would start moving in on Tessa that fast. He’d hoped she’d avoid Tessa out of respect. But who knew what more damage she could wreak, if she had Tessa’s ear.
“You don’t do anything, you hear me, nothing without talking to me. You don’t know the factions here. You owe me that much.”
“I owe you shit. I’m making a home here, same as you.”
“In my home. With my pack. Who have their own ins and outs and peculiar loyalties that you know nothing about.”
Her lips tightened. “Well excuse me for—”
“You’re not excused. Not until you learn the damn lesson. Maybe you could run roughshod over Alder, but you can’t do that with me. You will learn to respect me, or I’ll tie your impulsive ass up and leave you in bed while I’m gone.”
Actually, he rather liked that idea. She’d be beautiful with pale ropes contrasting against her golden tan. But that was a thought for another time.
“It’s my home, too. You promised me that. When you took your motherfucking vows.” Her eyes were wild, almost feral. If he kept antagonizing her, she might go for his throat. And she was welcome to. He’d appreciate the excuse to yank her over his knee and spank her ass red.
“Your home to live in. Not to meddle with. Get it through your head, pet, you are not in charge here. And you never will be.”
“Get. Out.” Her voice grew dangerously quiet, but he’d come too far to let her off easily now.
“I am your sworn mate, and you will listen to me, Tessa thorn-in-my-paw Lacroix,” he demanded.
Her cheeks went bright red. “Get out.”
“Watch me stay. Learn it now, and learn it well. You are no one here. You are mine. You do not speak unless I tell you to. You do not act unless I tell you to. You do not—”
Her punch flattened him, knocking him against the wall hard enough to send the air whooshing out of his lungs. The pain only made his wolf thrill for the battle. She’d just added fuel to a blaze she was not equipped to deal with.
He was letting the situation get far out of hand. If she hadn’t been ready to spy for her father before, she certainly would be now. He’d been as hard as he needed to be. No more, no less.
He sat on the edge of her bed and grabbed her wrist to drag her down next to him. She fought, the easy camaraderie of the morning gone. But he held strong, jerking her into his lap to hold her where she couldn’t hit him again.
“Stop acting like this was my idea,” she hissed. “I’ve done nothing but listen to you. I’ve given up my life for you. Let you imprison me. Given up my home for you. At least the Nefari—at least you—got what you wanted from me, your precious chickenhumping trade ally. If you want me to listen, talk to me. If you want me to obey you, show me a man worth obeying!”
His blood ran cold at the insult, but guilt belied the truth beneath it. He’d behaved abominably. Had he gone to live with the Kumori and received this treatment, someone would have ended up dead. How could he exp
ect her to stomach treatment that he wouldn’t?
She ripped her hand out of his grip to brush a strand of hair back from her face. His hand raised, halfway to her cheek. Halfway to the apology she deserved. But it couldn’t quite make it to his lips.
So the gesture became a threat, and act of domination. Her eyes lit up with apoplectic fury, and she slapped him hard across the face. By the time he’d recovered from the shock of the moment, she was out of his lap, and through the bedroom door.
“I’m going for a walk,” she hollered at him. “Don’t wait up.”
He shook his head, and smoothed his hand over the bedspread. His mom would be so ashamed of him. She’d stitched this quilt for him when he was a little boy. She’d taught him how to command respect, and give it. Apparently, her lessons hadn’t stuck.
Tessa had every right to rebel against him as her mate, because he hadn’t shown her a side of himself worthy of her loyalty.
Chapter 13
Tessa didn’t return. He’d already received a message from one of his sentries that she was patrolling the perimeter with them and was safe. Left with only the remains of their pleasant breakfast to eat, he had nothing to distract him from the guilt.
He hadn’t told her to beware of Mara. He hadn’t told her of the sides of the woman he’d seen back when he first accepted Mara to his bed. He hadn’t warned her how he knew how cutthroat Mara could be.
He hadn’t told her that under other circumstances, he’d have appreciated her eagerness to see justice done. He’d let his temper run away with him, and fuck only knew what trouble Tessa might be getting into as she fled her supposed “home” to get away from him.
She wasn’t content to be a placeholder or a trophy. That was understandable. And a few passionate kisses couldn’t make them friends, either.
It was sink or swim, and if he wanted Tessa to swim, he’d have to show her how. He’d have to become her friend.
The sun had peeked over the rooftops and foothills when his front door cracked open. Tessa padded in silently, making a beeline for her room. He cleared his throat. He had no doubt she’d seen him when she came in, but also assumed she would ignore him unless he made it impossible to.
She glared at him, her fingers twitching as though she was debating whether to slap him again. And then she kept on her course.
“Tess,” he said quietly. “If you’re gonna act on my behalf, you need to know what you’re getting into.”
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. He hated seeing that disgust in them. But she hadn’t retreated farther. He had her on the hook. “Come sit with me, and I’ll tell you a little about the major players.”
She swallowed hard, and nodded. It was as much of an apology as either of them was likely to give or get. But it was enough.
He started at the beginning. The who was who. Ryker, his adviser and quartermaster. Hagen, his best friend and the pack’s trainer. Quentin, another of his advisers. He focused only on the key players, the people who he expected her to most give her respect to and the people he expected her to steer clear unless instructed by him to do otherwise.
“You can’t trust anyone other than me, pet. The Nefari are a lot more numerous than the Kumori. It’s impossible to know everyone’s motivations unless you’ve lived here a half a century or so. The woman who steered you into acting on Gunner’s behalf, she’s a known troublemaker. Power-hungry and manipulative. She’s sweet and good-natured”—hot as fuck and wild in bed—“so long as you always get a second opinion when she comes to you for a favor. Her family is ancient, related to one of our better-known alphas, and she’s well-connected. Had our alliance not come to pass, there’d be significant pressure to give her even more power over the pack females. We largely stalled her because I don’t want that kind of manipulation in my inner circle. But there’s circles within the pack who would be only too happy to see her bloodline reinstated. Many of those dissenters resent both me and Elias for coming from the same blood.”
Somehow, he couldn’t choke the words out. Couldn’t tell her that he knew what Mara’s skin tasted like. Couldn’t tell her that for a brief window, before he’d caught on to her machinations, he’d had a purely-physical fling with the woman that to this day still made his cock swell to reminisce about.
He didn’t know why it made him ache to think of Tessa knowing that, only that it did. His stomach was in knots, just imagining the disappointment in her eyes, knowing he’d given another woman a piece of him willingly. She’d only ever see herself as second-best, and she wasn’t. Not to him. He’d promised himself to Tessa, not to Mara, but he knew Tessa would never understand that.
Tessa was silent, chewing her lip. Finally, she spoke. “I think you have her wrong. She seemed concerned. Well-meaning. Not manipulative at all. Trust me, I’ve seen my share of leaches and bloodsuckers.”
“She’s…subtle. But trust me when I say to steer clear of her. Please.”
She nodded, but he knew she was lying. Her eyes were too flat, her face carefully unaffected.
“Tessa, this isn’t a request. It’s a warning. There will be consequences next time.”
And he meant that. He’d already let her off the hook more times than he should have, all because he felt bad for her, or worried how she would react, or felt out of line for his temper. But that didn’t mean her own misdeeds could do without punishment.
He sighed, hoping his warning would suffice. He couldn’t trust Tessa enough to reveal more. Instinct said that she wouldn’t be happy until she was governing at his side, not at his feet.
But he couldn’t ask her to apprentice with him, not if she might pass all of the information back to the Kumori. He wasn’t an idiot; an alliance wouldn’t simply seal their packs together with no frictions or opportunities for espionage or betrayal. He’d have to find some other way to make her useful, help her keep busy.
“Hunt with me,” he said. “We’ll take some absinthe—a tiny dose only—and go foraging. We’ll make a regular thing of it. Give us both a chance to stretch our legs and be useful. You can have a home in the woods, if you can’t in my house.”
He knew how his words had stung. Twice, she’d brought up her efforts to find a place for herself here. Twice he’d thrown it in her face. She might never be comfortable living with him, but he’d try to set aside at least a little time when they could just be, rather than being alpha and packmate.
“When?” she asked, her voice brimming with barely-concealed eagerness.
He glanced at the rising sun outdoors. He didn’t especially like hunting during the day, but he didn’t want to chance another explosion as he waited for an opening in his schedule. “Right now.”
She straightened and kicked off the wall she was leaning against. “I’ll get my pack.”
Tessa’s patrol had been at an easy lope, nowhere near the endurance runs she’d been accustomed to with the Kumori. She had entirely too much energy and wasn’t about to second-guess why Marrock had offered her the chance to roam farther, with the wind in her fur. As much as she didn’t want to spend the time with him, the possibility of spending the time in her more natural body was impossible to resist.
When she was a woman, things were muddled. No matter what she did, she did it wrong. She was…too much. Too bossy, too unwilling to sit back and let things happen. But when she was a wolf, she was whole, freed from the world’s chafing constraints.
Marrock left her preparing a few small meals for them to pack. When he returned, he had a bottle of the absinthe tincture in his hands. “We can’t stay out long; our stores have been very low, and your father hasn’t sent us much to replenish them yet.”
She shrugged. “I’ll take what I can get.”
He nodded. “It’s been well over a year since I was regularly on the hunting roster myself. But there’s nothing like it. Other tasks, the benefit is infinitesimal. You work, and you work, and it nudges the needle, but you never really see it. Hunting, you watch your pack fill. Every motion— every
action—has a purpose. It’s recharging.”
He held up the dropper, and she opened her mouth. He squeezed two drops inside and then squeezed two more into his own mouth. It was less concentrated than the stuff their mating ritual wine had been spiked with, but it would have a good effect, just the same. They walked to the edge of the Nefari encampment as they waited for it to kick in.
Marrock’s sentry nodded at him as they passed. Her stomach was roiling from the drug working its way through her insides. He glanced at her, his own jaw set against nausea. She nodded at him to let him know they should be clear to transform. As one, they reached for their bestial bodies. This time, they hung back just long enough to clumsily nose their clothes into each other’s packs for later.
As she held still for Marrock to nose her shirt into her pack, she inhaled the plethora of scents in the cool morning air. She knew this solved nothing; they were running to escape their problems, but their problems would still be camped out on the couch when they got back. But with luck, even a short window of closeness would help them heal, and help him learn to hold his tongue around her. She was getting tired of bearing the brunt of his temper, and even slapping him wasn’t satisfying enough to purge her of his bile.
She’d walked all night, depressed, seeking some kind of a purpose, even if it was simply scanning for any intruders. Now, her purpose was different. Marrock nosed her haunch, telling her it was okay for her to go. She leaped away, sniffing for anything they might scavenge.
The Nefari terrain was unfamiliar to her. She’d seen maps, even fairly detailed ones, but no topographical illustration could communicate the way the moss smelled and which kinds were slick. No clumsy image could convey how the trail’s twists felt, how quickly the woods closed around them to block out the sight of the Nefair camp.
It was a relief to be near Marrock as something other than an enemy. So long as she didn’t have to listen to the man boss her around, his presence was restful. And he had a fierce nose for mushrooms, helping her tear out little wrinkled morels.
