by Lynn Rae
“You’ve done this before?”
She nodded, reluctant to tally up how many times she’d masturbated. Why she should be embarrassed to admit that when she pined for so much more, she couldn’t understand. “A few times.”
Two long breaths later, he eased his intent gaze from her and glanced down her body. He bent his head and moved one of his hands to join hers, and she was exultant. Seeing his big tanned fingers next to hers made her shake.
Without any more delays, they both worked to open her trousers and pull them away. She pushed them to the far end of the sofa with her feet as Ben returned to kissing her, his mouth touching her lips in the same gentle rhythm as his fingers as they stroked up her inner thighs and nudged between her legs. Every shake and shiver she’d felt converged on that small, anxious part of her body he barely touched. He pressed his fingers to her sex, the fabric of her underwear a silky friction against her folds. A few movements of his hand made her arch against the sofa. Oh, she wanted him to touch her.
Cara released her hold on his shoulder and pushed her hand down her body to tug at her undergarment, desperate for him. She bumped against his wrist, and he froze. She continued to fumble with her clothing. She’d waited so long, why was he stopping now? Ben quirked a smile and pulled her arm back around his neck.
“Not out here,” Ben rumbled against her cheek after he’d lowered his head back to hers.
“Where?” Was there some sort of code to this sort of thing? Had she gone in the wrong order? Cara pushed down a flutter of anxiety.
Without saying anything, Ben stood and pulled her up with him. Without hesitation, he scooped her up in his arms, holding her tight to his chest as he walked to her bedroom. It seemed like the logical place. As soon as they reached the darkened room, Ben tugged at her clothes. She was barely able to see him in the dark but that would hopefully hide any mistakes she might make, and she wouldn’t have to wonder what he thought of her body. Off came her shirt and tank, and she sensed him kneeling in front of her as he removed her underwear, his touch barely felt along the prickling skin of her hips and thighs, his warm breath tickling her belly.
He stood and kissed her again, his mouth finding hers unerringly. She could do this. She’d already had so many new experiences in her time on this planet. This time with Ben would become one of them.
Did he expect her to take his clothes off? Cara stopped melting into Ben’s mouth long enough to squint at his chest. She couldn’t see much and also couldn’t remember what his clothing had looked like, so she skimmed her hands across his chest until she felt seams and then pulled at them, all while Ben clenched his hands around her hips. When she’d unfastened his shirt and made to push it from his shoulders, he released his hold on her long enough to shrug out of the garment. His hands slid back to her body quickly, this time his fingers circled around her bottom and squeezed gently. She lifted on her toes with every movement. Everything he did satisfied her body and her mind. It was overwhelming.
“Get in.” Ben urged her to the bed, and she lowered herself, nerves tightening her throat as she shifted the coverlet away. She heard rustling fabric and knew he had removed the last of his clothing. Second thoughts intruded in all the fantastic bliss Ben had given her already. Was she sure this was the right thing to do? Was he the right person? Cara felt the bed dip as Ben crawled in beside her, and as he touched her arm and thigh she knew if she didn’t try this with him tonight, she might never have another chance.
As Ben whispered how beautiful she was, Cara sank back on the bed and pulled him with her. Her skin was hot, her muscles quivered, and her heartbeat thudded in her chest. As his fingers returned to her thighs, her legs fell open, and without a pause he returned to touching her. She could feel how wet she was and hoped it was acceptable, but as the heat and tension built she stopped caring about rules.
“Ben, can you?”
“Can I what, sweet Cara?” Ben whispered in her ear as one of his fingers slid inside her. Her whole body clenched at the invasion, and he eased away, making shushing sounds. She had to calm down or this wasn’t going to happen.
“Please do that again.” If that was part of it then she wanted to try. Ben circled an arm around her shoulders and curved her into his chest as his other hand slid back between her legs. Another probe with his finger, and as he moved his hand against her, Cara inhaled and rested her leg over his hip. That felt good, that felt right. His erection bumped against her belly, and she shivered. The idea of where he was going to put it made her tense, and she again told herself to relax. He kissed her as he stroked her, and the tender intimacy of it made something in Cara’s chest loosen and ease. She pulled her mouth from his and panted out his name, not quite sure how to tell him how wonderful he was.
“I’m here,” he rumbled, and she felt tears prickle her eyes as she detected the underlying kindness in his tone. She’d thought the man was supposed to be quick and almost rough, but Ben acted as if he’d spend all night just caressing her. Too much more delay would be unendurable; she didn’t know if she had the courage to prolong this any longer.
“I know you’re here. I can feel you everywhere.” Cara hoped she didn’t sound as frantic as she felt. She ran her hands along his chest and shoulders, marveling at the swells of muscle she found there. Did she dare reach down further and touch him? Her boldness faded, and she instead rolled on to her back, hoping that was a clear enough invitation. As if kissing him, dragging him into the room, and taking off her clothes weren’t enough. He rolled over her, shifting her legs around either side of his hips.
“Not quite everywhere,” Ben’s voice rasped as he tilted his hips forward and used his hand to guide something to press between her legs. Briefly she considered telling him she was a virgin, but all the heat in her body burned caution away. So that was it, she was that close to—Ah, there was pressure on sensitive skin, and as Ben pushed harder against her, Cara flinched at the tear of pain she felt. His erection slid in further, and she breathed out harshly, trying to relax and not fight against it.
This was what she’d wanted, and she needed to let it happen. Ben breathed hard too; his hand gripping her hip trembled against her skin as he rocked slowly back and forth, his erection sliding in and out in a painful way. Maybe he was too big, maybe she was too small.
Cara gritted her teeth and shifted her hips, hoping if she changed position he would fit easier. Her movement seemed to increase the pressure and she shook. Ben gasped and increased his tempo, and she wondered if she’d survive. It didn’t quite hurt, but it didn’t quite feel good; the whole interaction was so strange she didn’t know what to think.
Ben’s back muscles tightened under her hands and his movements grew more hurried before he convulsed and groaned in her ear. He collapsed against her, and she struggled for breath until he rolled to his side and pulled her with him. Cara tried to calm her breathing as she rested her head on his chest and listened to his heart hammering away.
So, that was sex. It seemed as if she should have had a bigger reaction, at least according to the romances she’d read, but at least the closeness she’d felt with Ben was nice. Maybe that sort of thing grew over time, not that she’d have the chance to find out.
Chapter 9
Stars. Ben gasped as his mind floated about two meters above his spent body. Cara. Naked and wet. His. Heaving out a sigh of satisfaction, he allowed himself a few thoughts of triumphant possession. She’d wanted him. He’d had her. They’d made love. It had been good, and the next time would be even better. His only regret was that they weren’t in his bed so his sheets would smell like her later.
Thinking about that, Ben reached for her, intending to kiss her, but in the darkness he missed and ended up with his mouth on her ear. That was good too. He nuzzled in and enjoyed the little shivers and squeaks she made.
Cara had been a revelation. He hadn’t expected anything of this nature to occur between them. Although he had indulged in some detailed fantasies before he’d falle
n asleep the last few nights. None of them had come close to the reality of her. Her slim arms slithered against his, and she pushed at his chest with a huff of breath.
“That tickles.”
“That’s why I’m doing it.”
“You want to torment me?” Her voice was plaintive in the dark.
“Only in a good way.”
She curved against him as he worked his way across her cheek and found her mouth, caressing her lips and tongue. Cara sighed and pressed her breasts against his chest, and Ben decided he wanted to look at her. The quick glimpses he’d gotten in the living room weren’t nearly enough to satisfy him. Just that obscured glimpse of her exquisite breasts and her bare legs. Great legs, but he was in the mood to see more of the surprisingly lush body he’d felt in the dark.
“I want to see you.” He rolled away and felt for a light. He hoped her bedroom was set up similar to his and as his fingers encountered familiar controls at the bedside he activated a light and dimmed it to a more subtle level before he turned to Cara. She had pulled a sheet up to her chin and stared at him as if she wasn’t sure what he was going to do next. He reached out and tugged on a corner of the fabric and she resisted, her eyes narrowing as he pulled. For whatever reason she was reluctant, and instead of pushing her, he decided to circle around her objections. “Or you could look at me.”
Ben gestured at himself as he shifted closer to her. Cara’s eyes met his, and she relaxed her hold on the sheet. She let her gaze wander across his shoulders and chest and trail down to his groin. Her rapid intake of breath made him glance down and when he saw a few smears of blood on his upper thighs his mind went blank for a nanosecond. He knew he wasn’t injured, so it had to have come from Cara. As he put it together; her awkward movements, her sudden modesty, stars, how she’d flinched when he’d first entered her, all pointed to the obvious conclusion. He’d just taken her virginity.
He’d assumed she was inexperienced, which would be natural considering her upbringing, but she’d told him she’d done this before as she’d invited him to caress her. He’d thought she’d been with the boy she’d mentioned, the one her companion thought she’d told too much. So he’d gone ahead with what every cell in his body urged. The weight of what he’d done to her, what had happened between them blasted through him, and with a desperate instinct, he pulled the sheet away from her body, dreading what he might find.
More traces of blood on her thighs and a few on her sheets. He didn’t know what to say. She blinked a few times and tried to cover herself again, but he held on to the fabric.
“Are you hurting? I hurt you.” Ben slid closer and stroked her shoulder, searching her face for some sort of reaction he could work with, but she was as blank as she had been the first few times he’d talked with her. Back before they knew each other, before he’d thought they’d built some trust between them. Why had she let him believe he wasn’t the first? “Let me help you.”
Basic first aid; cleaning and a cool compress, pain relief if she needed it. “Do you want to go to medical?”
She shook her head and averted her eyes. Was she afraid of him now? Embarrassed? Wondering how to get him to leave?
He urged her to stay in the bed and went into her bathroom to search for supplies. There was a standard aid kit under the sink, and he ran water on a cloth. When he returned to the bed, she hadn’t moved. He wasn’t sure if he should take on the task of cleaning her up. It was a very intimate thing, but considering what they’d just done it seemed a small point. He gestured with the cloth, and Cara took it from him but turned away before she used it. He watched the curve of her backbone as she attended to herself and wondered what he could do. A virgin, and he’d just blundered in like an unthinking beast.
“You might want to hold it there for a while to reduce swelling. If you’re still hurting.”
Cara hunched her shoulders and stayed still as she followed his advice. So she was in pain. Ben’s opinion of himself plummeted. After a few silent minutes in which he considered how to apologize properly, she glanced at him over her shoulder and then rose to walk into the bathroom. He heard water run, and she returned with a cloth for him, this one was warm, and he used it on himself. He should dress. She wasn’t used to naked males. He shook his head when he remembered how he’d tried to tease her into looking at him. Probably the last thing she wanted to see was a penis.
“Why did you say you’d done this before? I understand you need to keep secrets, but this is one you should have shared with me.”
She shrugged as she lowered herself to the bed and wrapped the sheet around herself. “I thought you meant if I’d…well, touched myself. Then later, I just wanted to keep going and had a feeling you’d have stopped if I’d said anything.”
Cara was right. He certainly would have stopped this encounter if he’d had any idea. Her words sunk in past his shock and shame and he reconsidered. She’d wanted to be with him. She’d wanted to have intercourse.
“I wish I’d known. We could have handled this differently.”
“Are you angry with me?”
“No, I’m disappointed you didn’t trust me.” Ben was also disappointed in himself. If he’d just thought with his brain instead of his raging libido, he would have guessed what she hid. She’d been so ready and enthusiastic; he hadn’t slowed down when he should have.
Cara took a breath and stared at him. “I do trust you. That’s why I wanted to do this with you. I’m sorry I didn’t explain. I thought you wouldn’t be interested if you knew.”
Not interested? That might be partly true; he’d never had the fantasy of being a woman’s first. It seemed as if it would be fraught with lots of emotion and soothing, but it seemed he was more upset about the situation than Cara was. Ben edged closer to her, and she glanced over his body as he moved, taking more time evaluating his groin than he expected.
He reached out and circled an arm around her shoulders, and she burrowed into his side without hesitation. So, she wasn’t repulsed by him. Ben was relieved he hadn’t wrecked it that badly. Her warm weight against him eased some of the tension he’d accumulated, and he blew out a breath. Time to deal with the most pressing business first.
“You need to go to medical tomorrow for an exam.” She shook her head, her loosened hair tickling his skin. “Cara, you have to. They’ll make sure you’re all right, and you can determine your reproductive wishes.”
Stars, what if she’d become pregnant? Surely, despite her isolated upbringing, she understood basic biology. Considering her reluctance to submit to medical treatment, it was impossible for her to be using any sort of contraception, and he’d never paused to consider it. Idiot.
“They’ll want to print me.” Her voice was muffled, and she crept closer still, folding her legs up under the sheet and leaning them over his thigh. Definitely not repulsed. Thankful she wanted to touch him, he wrapped his arms around her waist and she settled her head against his shoulder.
“No, there’s a notation on your records, and I’ll call and remind them. But you have to go, promise me.” Cara drew her head away and gazed him as she gave him a small nod of agreement.
She broke eye contact to look at his mouth, and his body warmed at the slight shift in her attention. Sliding one soft hand up to touch his cheek, she leaned up and placed a small kiss on his lips. And another. Before he knew it, she crawled into his lap and intensified her caresses. Ben’s body reacted immediately, and before he could caution himself, he’d dragged the sheet between them away and pulled her tight to his chest, enjoying the way her soft breasts and tight nipples rubbed against him.
Evidently Cara liked his body too because she sighed and moved to straddle his lap, edging herself closer and closer until her sex was pressed tightly to him. She had to feel his growing erection, and he pulled away from her busy mouth.
“Aren’t you sore? Don’t push yourself.”
“I’m a little sore, but you feel so good I don’t care.” Her low voice was slurred, an
d she gazed at him through half-open eyes.
“We aren’t, I’m not going to—” Ben shook his head and slid his hands down her soft back to her buttocks, tightening his grip on that full flesh to anchor her to him. “No more intercourse until you’re healed, cleared by medical.”
Cara raised an eyebrow. “Is that a rule? Does everyone who has sex for the first time have to have a doctor’s approval before they can do it again?”
“When it happens between you and me, yes.” She wanted him again. Ben’s mood lifted. “Why me?”
“Because I like you, and I don’t know how long I’ll be here.” Cara watched him with an enquiring tilt of her eyebrow. Her honesty disarmed him. He wasn’t sure if he’d been a convenient test subject or if she had some genuine attraction to him, but at this point it didn’t really matter. The deed was done.
“Do you want to talk about it? About anything?”
“May I ask questions?” Ben nodded, and Cara settled back into the circle of his arms which gave him a rather nice view of her breasts, belly, and the curls between her thighs. Trying not ogle, he watched her face as she rubbed her hands along his shoulders. “I’ve read about it and watched a few vids, or parts of them—”
“You watched sex vids?” Ben couldn’t keep the shock from his voice. Withdrawn and shy Cara had been curious enough to access a sex vid. He tried to picture it; she’d have to wait until Mat was asleep and that companion Soren was tucked away somewhere else before she would have the privacy. He wondered what sort she’d seen, if she’d liked anything in particular, or was revolted by something. A gentle interrogation might help him discover something useful.
Cara nodded and licked her lips. “I was wondering about how two people decide, ah, what sort of things they were going to do. This kind of just happened, and I know there are other things, ways to do…it.”
“What kinds of things did you learn about?” Stars, don’t let her have an impulse toward bondage. The last thing he’d want to do after restraining people all day was to have to tie her up and mar her skin. Now, a blindfold on the other hand…
