by Claire Adams
“Oh God,” I said, turning around in the hopes he wouldn’t notice. I grabbed a napkin and scrubbed at my face, but it was too late.
“Am I interrupting?” the man asked from behind me with laughter in his voice.
I was blushing when I turned back to him. “Sorry. What can I get you?”
“That muffin looks pretty good. A little messy, but good. Is that cream cheese icing?”
“It is.” I was beet red now.
“Perfect. I think I’ll get that.” A playful smile curved his lips.
“Okay. One ginger spice muffin. Anything else?”
“That’ll be all.”
I took a glance at him before I walked in back to get his muffin. He was tall and blond, cute, but a little lanky for my taste. I brought his muffin back out. “Here ya go.”
He paid with his card and signed the receipt with his phone number. When he turned to leave, I scratched it out and put the receipt in the till. It was a boost of confidence, but he wasn’t my type.
Shortly after he left, Chloe finally made her appearance. She was wearing a pair of oversized sunglasses when she walked in.
“You’re late,” I announced and came around to give her a hug.
“I know.”
“Let me see those sunglasses.” I stepped back and glared at her.
“Why? They’re just sunglasses.” Chloe pulled away and started to walk to the back. I followed her.
“Those aren’t just sunglasses. If they were, you’d have left them in the car like you always do.”
“Oh, come on. I can’t change my style up a bit?”
“You got shit-housed last night.”
“I did not.” She was carrying an energy drink.
“Tell me what happened. Come on. I’m dying for actual human conversation.” I laughed.
“You sure it’s not because you’re mad that I came in late?”
“That too. But honestly, Chloe, I’m dying. All I can think about is this friggin’ bakery.”
“Oh, I know.” Chloe took her apron off the hook and tied it on. “I’ve been telling you that a long time now. All you ever do is worry about the shop, and you refuse to do anything else with your time.”
“I won’t budge.” I went into the walk-in and pulled out a crate of blueberries while Chloe struggled to get the cauldron-sized mixing bowl out from underneath the sink.
“That’s your problem,” Chloe called out. “You’re so focused on your career that you’re ignoring everything else.”
“This was not the conversation I was hoping for.”
“And that’s why you’re lonely,” Chloe said when I walked out with the blueberries.
I pulled a bowl down from the shelf above the sink, along with a box full of sugar. “I found a recipe that I want to try out.”
“Really?” Chloe let me change the subject.
“Yep, apricot streusel.”
“I don’t know. It sounds a little weird.”
“Not if you do it right, it’s not.” I pulled out my phone to show Chloe the recipe.
“That does sound good.”
“But we can’t make it,” I said.
“Why not?”
“Because we’re going to be baking scones all day.”
Chloe wrinkled her nose. “It’s cause I’m late, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but it’s okay. I was late, too.”
Chloe laughed. “I refuse to believe that.”
The doorbell rang, so I walked out to help the customers. Two twins stood in the shop, both with black shaggy hair. They looked like they were in their early twenties. One stared at the menu, and the other stared at me with a grin from ear to ear.
“Hi. How can I help you guys?”
The twin staring at the menu on the wall over my shoulder looked down. His eyes had caught something. I took a quick glance back. Chloe was giving him a seductive smile. They were closing in now, coming closer to the counter. The twin who’d been smiling at me leaned in. “Just two coffees.”
“That all?” Chloe asked.
I glared at her.
“No,” the other twin said. I waited for him to ask for something else. Instead, he pulled out his phone. “You should give me your number.”
She blushed. “Give me one good reason?”
“A good night out, maybe more. It’s worth the risk.”
The other twin nodded, letting his eyes roll down my body. “We’re heading to the club tomorrow night. You guys should come with us.”
“I don—”
“Definitely.” Chloe pushed me aside to get to the register and pulled off two pieces of receipt tape. She handed one to me, along with a pen. She wasn’t leaving me with any other choice. I could either be rude and lose a pair of customers, or I could put myself on the line for a man I didn’t even know.
“It’ll be fun. Come on.” Chloe handed the man her number.
“All right.” I wrote my number down and handed it to the other twin.
“What’s your name?” he asked.
“Clarissa,” I said, lying. “Yours?”
“Bryan.” He extended his hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“You too.” I shook his hand. “You guys sure you just want the coffee?”
“I’ll try one of these apple scones,” Bryan said.
I bagged one up for him and walked back to the register where Chloe was leaning over the counter, talking to her twin quietly.
I cleared my throat.
“Oh, sorry.” Chloe stepped away from the register so I could get to it, and her twin followed her over the to the pastries. When he stepped aside, I saw Mr. Beetle look in through the window, smoking a rolled cigarette.
“Oh, that’s disgusting.” Chloe pulled a blueberry scone out for her twin and brought it up to the register. “He’s going to stink the whole place up.”
“You want me to get rid of him?” her twin asked.
“No, Brandon. It’s okay. But I’m not helping him.” She turned to me. “I want him gone.”
Banning a customer was against everything I believed in. He had real money, and I needed every cent I could get. “I’ll handle him.”
Mr. Beetle turned around to look inside again then threw his cigarette and leaned back against the wall.
“You sure?” Bryan asked.
“Yeah, I am. He’s never given me any trouble before.”
“All right.” Bryan shrugged. “Are you guys coming tomorrow?”
“We’ll be there,” Chloe said.
Bryan looked at me. He clearly wanted an answer.
“We’ll see.” That was the best he was going to get.
“I’ll text you.” The twins grabbed their bags and walked outside.
“What was that Clarissa crap?” Chloe asked as soon as they were gone.
“What?”
“They were supermodels. What were you thinking?”
“That I don’t know them.”
“Zoe, if you don’t let loose, you’re gonna lose your mind.”
“I just didn’t want to get pressured into getting with some random stranger.”
“Well, what else are you going to do? You’ve gotta get out and meet people. It’s not just about sex either. You’ve gotta network.”
“Chloe…”
“What?”
“Look.” I pointed outside. Mr. Beetle was running up to the twin’s car, his head down like he was ready to headbutt one of them. Then they got in the car, and he headed straight for the back window. The red lights flashed in the back of the sedan. He jumped back and ran over to the front door where he picked up his cigarette butt and lit it.
“All right, that’s it.” Chloe pulled out her phone.
“What are you doing?” I asked her.
“What do you think I’m doing? I’m calling the cops. He just tried to attack two of our customers.”
“He’s not a criminal. He’s mentally ill.”
“I…” Mr. Beetle walked in the door. Chloe turned ar
ound and walked back into the kitchen. “He’s all yours.”
He seemed like the sensitive type, definitely an outcast. I’d always had a soft spot for people like that, but the smell of him was horrific. It was like rotten urine mixed with the festering odor of old sweat and feces. Probably the result of years without showering.
“Hi.” I felt a wad of bile rise up in the back of my throat.
“Hello, Zoe. How are you today?”
“Good. What can I get ya?”
He cocked his head to the side, just like a pigeon, and said, “Well, don’t you want to know how my day went?”
“I hope it’s going well. We have some apple scones if you’d like one.”
He held his head low. “No, no. That’s okay.” He turned around to walk out, then stopped and met my eyes for a second. It was like somebody had thrown a bucket of ice water over my head. There was something in that look.
“Is everything okay?” Chloe stepped out of the kitchen.
“Yeah, it’s fine,” I said.
“Excuse me, sir…”
I glared at Chloe and whispered through clenched teeth, “Don’t you dare.”
“I’m sorry, sir.” Chloe stepped forward defiantly to address Mr. Beetle who was facing the door. “You’re gonna have to leave.”
He spun around, walked right up to her, and said, “You leave. I’m not here for you.”
“Chloe…”
“Fine.” She walked back into the kitchen.
“I’m really sorry about that,” I said.
“It’s fine.” He started looking over the pastries.
“Was there something you wanted?” I asked.
“An apple scone,” he said definitively.
“Coming right up.” I rang him up as fast as I could, with a sweet smile and a touch of compassion.
Chloe walked in as soon as he left. “Did you hear what he said?”
“I don’t wanna think about it. I’m tired, and we have work to do.”
“We always have work to do. It’s nothing but work for you. You need to get out and have some fun. You’ve got cabin fever.”
“You’re right.” I hadn’t done anything for myself in what seemed like decades.
“So, you’re going to the club with me tomorrow, then?”
“Yeah, I guess I am.”
“Good.” Chloe laughed, finally satisfied. “Let’s get to work.”
Chapter Five
Archer
I fell asleep on my way home from work. I couldn’t help it. I had to stay there until midnight just to get things finished. I spent most of the last hour just trying to keep my eyes open. Things had to change. I couldn’t spend all day working and all night with the boys. I’d sit at my desk for hours, just pushing through the exhaustion while I signed form after form. I didn’t even read them anymore. Every time I tried, the words would scramble themselves up, and I’d just get distracted. There was no way I was going to get any work done on two hours of sleep.
When I got home that night, I poked my head into the nursery and gave Mona a quick smile. “They’re sleeping?” I asked.
She nodded her head and got up slowly to walk outside with me. “They just fell asleep.”
“Well, at least they got some rest.”
“You should, too,” she said. “I’ll stay the night.”
“No, that’s okay. I’m their father, and I have to accept that responsibility. Besides.” I followed her downstairs to the foyer. “I was hoping you could watch the boys for me tomorrow night.”
“Of course.” She grabbed her jacket off the hook and slipped into it. “You clearly need a night off.”
“Yeah, I do.” I leaned against the wall. My knees were growing weak.
“You need to sleep, and those boys need care. I don’t like leaving you like this.”
“I have to find a way.” My head was getting light. “I can’t pass them off to you. You’re not their mother.”
“Well, one night isn’t going to do them much harm.” She patted me on the shoulder. “Get some sleep.”
“Yeah.” My head was nodding up and down.
“I mean it.”
“Okay.” My eyes were completely closed. I had the vague sense that she was still standing there. Then I heard the door, and she was gone. I tried to lift my head and open my eyes. I managed to wake myself up long enough to walk up the stairs, but it was a lot of work, and my body was crying out for relief the entire time.
When I finally got to bed, I felt like a dying man who just found an oasis in the Sahara. Once my eyes closed, I was gone. Then, suddenly, I heard the twins, both of them, their screams blaring through the room on my flat screen speakers.
“Oh God.” I swung my feet over the side of the bed, a little shaky still. The clock on my nightstand said that it was three in the morning, which meant that I’d had less than three hours of sleep. I should’ve had Mona stay with them, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the way they listened to her. I needed to develop that bond with my children if I wanted to be a good father to them.
Their screams didn’t stop, even when I walked back down to the nursery. Abel was the loudest. He could wake up half of New York City with lungs like his, so I focused on him first. He squirmed away when I reached down to grab him, like I was some monster trying to fry him up for dinner. I had to block him with one hand and use it to scoop him up into the other just to get him into my arms.
He didn’t like that, at all. He was throwing his fists around, looking at me with a wide-eyed intensity that I translated as fear.
“I’m Daddy. I’m the good guy.” I brought him back out into the hall. “I’m the one who will make sure you have a good life. Mona can’t do that. She’s not your mom.” Abel stopped crying all at once and stared up at me. “I know I should be gentler with you, but that’s just not how I am. I can try. Maybe you’ll like me more if I do that.” Abel started closing his eyes. Maybe he liked the sound of my voice. “If your mommy was here, she’d be holding you right now and rocking you back and forth. She loved you and your brother more than anyone else in this world, and she hadn’t even met you two yet.”
He was starting to fall asleep now. “I guess you probably don’t care. You will, though. When you get older, and you find out how hard it is to be on your own.”
I needed to make sure that Andrew stopped screaming before I brought Abel back to his crib, and Andrew was simply not having it. I had to wait out in the hall for nearly half an hour for Andrew to calm down long enough for me to run in, set Abel down, then grab his brother and run out. I barely made it out in time before Abel started screaming again.
“Daddy needs a night off, Andrew. I haven’t had a good night’s rest in two days, and I’m starting to feel it.” Andrew didn’t care. He wanted something. His diaper was clean, and Mona always fed them before I got home, so I had no idea what was bothering the kid. All I could do was just rock him back and forth while he struggled to get away.
It hurt. He was just an infant, and I knew that, but every parent wanted their child to love them, especially when they’re babies. I need to be reassured and told that I was doing a good job because I felt like a failure. I couldn’t even get my own boys to sleep.
Andrew was calming down a little bit. He was still crying, but he wasn’t shrieking, and he wasn’t struggling to get away. “I’ll bet you’ll be happy tomorrow when you’re with Mona, at least then you won’t have to worry about the big scary monster who feeds you and clothes you and puts a three-million-dollar roof over your head.”
I felt a little bit of resentment growing inside me. I wasn’t mad at Andrew or Abel. This wasn’t their fault. I was mad at the universe for taking their mother away from me and leaving me alone to take care of them by myself.
It wasn’t really by myself. I had Mona and a whole team of staff who went in and out of the house, but they weren’t a part of the family the way Cara had been. The boys needed somebody like that in their lives, and I did, too.
/>
I was lonely. There was no denying it, but I knew the way women worked. They wanted a man, not twins who kept them up all night. I couldn’t imagine anyone putting up with that, and honestly, I wouldn’t blame them.
Andrew was fast asleep by four, and so was his brother, but by that time it was too late for me to get any sleep. I walked back up to my room and started getting ready for the day. This was the first time in years that I’d seriously considered not coming into work. I felt like I was contemplating murder, but I wasn’t sure I’d make it throughout the day without a nap.
Mona was waiting outside my bedroom door once I’d finished getting dressed. “Come in,” I told her.
“Did you get any sleep last night?” she asked.
“No, and I’m dying, Mona.”
“What are you going to do?”
“No,” I told her flat out and started walking out of my bedroom door.
“I just think it would be more sensible for you to have a live-in nanny.” She followed me.
“No. Mona, we talked about this. If I let somebody stay here, I’ll just end up spending too much time away from the boys, and I hardly get to see them as it is.”
“And I respect that…”
“But?”
“But I don’t think you can handle this.”
I stopped in the middle of the hall and turned to confront her. “While you were changing diapers, I was making millions. I think I can handle my own children.”
“This is different.”
“I’ll find a way to get through this, but I’m not going to ignore my kids. Understood?”
“Yeah,” she said. “This is your first night away from them, isn’t it?”
“I’d been trying to block that out as best as I can.”
“You’ve been away from them before.” We stopped at the top of the stairs. “Just not at night. It’s no different. Just keep telling yourself that.”
“You and I both know that no matter what I tell myself, I’ll still be worried.”
“Don’t get all worked up over nothing. You can call me anytime you want.”
“I will.” I thanked her and walked out to the car.
The day started quickly, with six messages already on my phone by the time I got out of the driveway. The Navy was planning on purchasing the Hawkeye, and my staff was going crazy trying to get everything together.
