As soon as the hot spray hit my naked body I let out a sigh. It felt good, soothing. I took my time soaping myself and washed my hair.
Optimus had given me three days to have a break and sort myself out, but I was already feeling a little homesick. It was a strange feeling, one that I’d never had before. Growing up I had moved from foster home to foster home—the need to just get away was so strong. It was like I felt as though someone was chasing me and I had to keep moving in order to survive. But there was no one chasing me. No ghosts from my past coming back to haunt me.
Some of the homes I’d run from hadn’t been horrible. A couple, at some point, even made me feel like I could stay and that I could be happy there. But it wouldn’t take long before I couldn’t fight the urge any longer, my mother’s words playing over and over in my head.
Run.
Keep running.
Don’t stop running.
The clubhouse has been the only place I’d stayed at longer than about a year. At first I thought it was because of Harmony. We had connected straight away and were inseparable since. But I’d had friends before and I’d left them without even looking back.
I knew it was because of Optimus.
He had filled a void that I never realized I had. Sure, I’d had boyfriends growing up, started having sex younger than I should have. But there was an air about Op that just drew me to him. Maybe it was his strength or his commanding personality. Maybe it was because he gave me something I hadn’t had since I was little—a family. I wasn’t sure.
The shower finally began to run cold so I turned it off and climbed out. After drying and dressing I was about ready to go in search of Harmony, and see if we could find some extremely fattening food that would satisfy my turning stomach, but before I could head out there was a knock on the door.
I got up and flicked the lock, expecting to find my best friend behind it but instead finding her other half.
Kit gave me a gorgeous smile. “Morning. How’s the head?”
I stepped back, letting him inside. “It’s pounding a little. I was just about to go see if Harmony wanted to come find some food with me.”
“Yeah, she had to go out. She’s doing guitar lessons and one of her students rang this morning saying she couldn’t make it to her lesson tomorrow so could they do it today,” he explained.
“Oh, okay,” I said, slightly disappointed.
“Yeah. You know her. If music is involved, it’s always urgent,” he chuckled.
I nodded in understanding. Harmony was dedicated. She loved music and anything to do with it. Sometimes I wondered if it even came first in her life before Kit.
“I’d like to have a chat with you, so how ‘bout I take you out for breakfast?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Do you know the difference between a chat and a lecture?”
He chuckled as he headed for the door. “Come on, I’ll even pay.”
I sighed, not sure how this little chat would go. But I did know that Kit cared about both Optimus and I. We took his truck into town which I heard him grumble about quietly as we climbed in, but we both knew that the back of his bike was now reserved for his Old Lady. We found a nice little diner that according to him served amazing big breakfasts and took a booth in the corner of the room. The waitress eyed Kit shamelessly as we ordered, something I was used to while going places with the brothers, but that still annoyed me. I glared at her as she walked away with a purposeful swish of her hair and sway in her hips. When I looked over at Kit, he just laughed.
“You need any club whores? You should hit her up, she seems keen,” I joked.
“Yeah, like I need any more drama in the clubhouse than there is at the moment. Honestly, you women—”
“I dare you to finish that sentence.”
He chuckled but kept his mouth closed. When the food came, I pushed past the smell, knowing that I would feel better as soon as I got it into my stomach. “So, chat away,” I told him before filling my mouth with hash brown.
He placed his knife and fork on the table. “Op is worried about you.”
I scoffed. A very unladylike thing to do especially with a mouth full of food.
“Listen Chelsea. This life we have, it can be very dangerous, you know that,” he explained, leaning back in the seat. “I know a lot of brothers who choose to be alone and remove themselves from anyone that they could possibly care about because they’re scared of them getting hurt. It’s one of the reasons we have club girls. The men get what they need without the attachment. Well, that’s how it usually works.”
“You don’t have to explain that to me, Kit. I live it, remember?” I told him, pushing some food around on my plate with my fork.
“No, you’re different. Optimus cares about you, and he’d kill me if he heard me say it, but that scares the shit out of him.”
I screwed up my face. “It’s hard to believe when sometimes he’s pulling me in and others he’s pushing me out. It’s like I’m on some crazy roller coaster ride, but I’m too scared to get off because I may never be able to feel that same thrill anywhere else.”
He looks at me sympathetically. “Optimus is a hard man to get through too. But he wasn’t always that way. His parents were great. We used to take family trips to visit every few months. Op and I were both the only children, so having him around was like having a brother.” He sighed and looked down at the table. “His mom died when he was in his teens. Some little fuckheads in a street gang thought they were hard and drove past the club one day when there was family gathered to welcome a brother who was getting a full patch. They had a couple of submachine guns.”
I couldn’t help the gasp that came out of my mouth. Optimus had only ever shared with me that his mom was killed, never the details of how. Neither of us had been intrusive into each other’s lives. While you might think it was important, it just never seemed to matter. It was in the past and we were living in the present.
“The boys were in church so by the time the shots started, they were already too far away and couldn’t get there fast enough. Little bastards were there for less than twenty seconds before they drove off. A lot of injuries, six dead.”
“There’s a fence, so you can’t see the barbecue area and where the kids play from the road.”
Kit nodded. “Was put in afterward.”
I was sad, I could feel the emotion sitting in my throat. That must have been a horrible day for the club.
“And Op’s mom?” I asked, wondering if I really wanted to hear it.
“She was sitting at a table eating,” he shook his head. “Optimus should’ve been there too, but he was at that age where we all thought we were too cool to sit with our parents. He wanted to be inside with the men—he was already dreaming of prospecting.”
I’d managed to eat some food, but I pushed my still half full plate away. I wasn’t sure how to react. “He...he doesn’t talk about her like he does his dad.”
“Yeah, it’s a shame really. She was an amazing woman.” He picked at his food, also feeling a little put-off, I think. “I think he’s a bit ashamed. He feels like he should’ve been there to protect her. Maybe if he had been, he would’ve been the one to take the bullets instead of her.”
I swallowed harshly. Optimus harbored a lot of guilt, it was sad because he was an amazing man. Every brother looked up to him.
Kit cleared his throat. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to make this all depressing and shit. I just wanted to let you know, Op has been through some bad shit. I think deep down he feels like he was responsible for both his mom and his dad passing. So he feels like he needs to keep the ones he cares about at a distance, so the same thing doesn’t happen to them.”
I nodded.
It made sense.
Everything in me screamed that I needed to go to him.
“Go home, Chelsea.”
I looked up, feeling like Kit had read my mind.
“Are you kicking me out?”
He smirked. “Sure, if th
at’s the excuse you want to use, but we both know you want to go back. I know you Miss Harm, but she’ll always be here, you can visit anytime.”
I smiled. “Okay, but I better wait till Harmony gets back or she’ll go fucking loco on the both of us.”
Harmony wasn’t happy that I was leaving so soon, but I put all the heat onto Kit, laughed and left him to deal with his crazy ass woman.
With the hangover gone and my stomach no longer sick, I made the long trek home. Kit had warned me that he had a couple of men on me, but what he hadn’t realized was that I’d spotted the one who’d followed me there also.
Not just a pretty face.
The clubhouse was pretty empty as I made my way to my room. Optimus’ bike wasn’t outside, so I thought I’d get a little sleep in before I gathered the guts to talk to him later.
No such luck there.
There was a light tap on my door. I was tempted not to answer it, but the reality was, I was still a club girl and I was still on call whenever I was asked to be. My heart just wasn't in it any longer. I wanted sex, but there was only one man I wanted it from now. I took a deep breath as I dragged myself off the bed and walked over to my bedroom door, reluctantly pulling it open. The person standing on the other side was definitely unexpected.
“Andie, hi.”
She gave me a soft smile. “Hey, Chelsea. Can I talk to you for a minute?”
I nodded and stepped to the side so she could come through closing the door behind her, I watched as she took in my room curiously, her head bobbing around. I lifted myself onto the edge of my school desk and gave her a minute.
Andie was different. She’d only joined up with the club recently when the boys had saved her from this crazy guy who had kidnaped Harmony. Apparently he’d been using Andie as his personal punching bag, among other things. To talk to her you’d never know, though. She was quiet but seemingly confident and super sweet. I think more than one of the guys had taken a fancy to her, some becoming very protective.
“Um, Andie? Are you okay?” My voice seemed to snap her out of her daze and she shook her head, her long black hair flowing around her before it settled on her shoulders.
She blushed. “Yeah, sorry. I uh…just wanted to ask you a few questions.”
I held my hands out. “Shoot hun, I’m an open book.”
“What’s it like being a club girl?”
My eyebrows shot straight up and I was unable to hide the surprise on my face. “Um...well...it’s okay.”
She started to giggle. “Chelsea, I’m not a prude. I know what you girls do here,” she said, gesturing to the room.
I couldn’t help but grin. “Are you sure, you know?”
“Do they treat you good?” she asked as she sat on the edge of my bed and smoothed the comforter.
“The club or the men themselves?”
She shrugged. “Both?”
“The club has very strict rules for us—we follow them, we do just fine.” I pushed off the desk and walked over to join her on the bed. “The simple answer is that if we treat them with respect, they’ll treat us with respect in return.”
Andie nodded, pulling at invisible threads at the edge of her T-shirt. “And you like it?”
“What you really want to know is if I enjoy screwing more than just one guy?”
“Maybe.”
I smiled. “It’s not for everyone, I know that. But it's never really been an issue for me,” until now. “These guys mean more to me than just guys I climb into bed with. They look after me, and I can’t speak for all of them, but as far as I know they actually care about me too.”
“That must be nice, having a club full of men who’d do anything to protect you and look after you.” Her face was sad, and it was the first time I’d seen her look defeated even after all the crap she must’ve been through when she was held prisoner by Daniel Ashley—the psychopath.
“Andie, these guys took you in and vowed to protect you. They did that because they wanted to, not because they expected you to owe them something in return.” I got the feeling I knew exactly why she was here. I’d been approached by women before that have wanted to try their hand at being a Brothers by Blood girl, but I knew in my gut that Andie was definitely not that kind of girl.
“They’ve been so good to me. Slider and Leo especially.” I saw a small blush cover her cheeks even as she smiled. “I don’t want to go home. There wasn’t really anything left for me there anyway when I was taken. But I know that my welcome here will soon be up.”
“I think that’s something you need to discuss with Optimus. He won’t throw you out on the streets, I promise.” I took her hand in mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Look at your options before you decide to do something that you might regret.”
“Do you regret it?” she asked with a frown.
I shook my head. “I will never regret it. They’ve given me something here that I don’t think I would’ve ever gotten anywhere else. I love the club.”
“You’re different than the other girls.” She laughed. “They get angry when one of the guys blows them off to spend time with me.”
“Some of the girls are here for the wrong reasons. They’re lazy bitches that don’t want to do anything for themselves but want the power and authority that comes with being claimed and labeled an Old Lady.” I laughed. “But the reality is, that’s not what these guys are looking for, not from a club whore anyway.”
She smirked. “Oh yeah, then what do you call you and Optimus? I heard Lou Lou telling Sammy that he took her to his room the other night and wouldn’t even touch her.”
I tried to hide my surprise.
So it was all just an act.
She nudged me in the side and grinned. “She said it was because of you.”
“Honestly, there’s just some things about these men I’ll never understand.” I huffed, falling back on the bed dramatically.
Her giggles filled the room, the sound so addictive I couldn’t help but laugh with her.
“So, what’s the deal with you, Slider, and Leo?” I asked as I gave her a friendly shove.
She sighed and fell backward on the bed next to me. “They’re great. Slider makes me laugh so much I feel like I’m gonna pee my pants. And Leo, he’s just …”
“Sexy, hunky, strong, sweet?” I offered.
“Tick, tick, tick and tick,” she said, doing the ticks in the air with her finger. “And that little girl of his. Geez, my heart melts.”
“Sounds like someone has it bad,” I said in a sing-song voice.
“You don’t know the half of it,” she groaned.
I glanced over my shoulder, checking the time on the clock. “Well, will you look at that, it’s past mid-day. That means we can get a drink.” I threw myself off the bed, grabbing Andie’s hand and pulling her with me.
She laughed. “It’s only 3:00 p.m.”
“I’ll bet we aren’t the first at the bar,” I said pulling her from the room and down the hall. I’m not sure why but the brothers had a very strict no alcohol until after twelve policy unless it was a special occasion or you’re just really desperate. I guess the boys had to be kept sober for a least a few hours of the day. I wiggled my eyebrows at Andie when we got to the bar and found Wrench already there with Kev at his side and Sammy in his lap. They all had a bottle of beer in their hands and some music played softly in the background.
“Told you,” I said to her before yelling at the prospect tending the bar. “Neil! I need a drink!”
“Uh, sure. What do you want?”
Kev scoffed and I turned to him. “How long as he been here and he still doesn’t know what I drink?”
Kev reached out and wrapped his arm around my neck, pulling me into his side. He shook his head like he was severely disappointed. “The kid is a few colors short of a rainbow. He ain’t ever gonna get it right.”
“Whiskey.” The deep voice sent vibrations through me that went straight to lady parts. Kev’s arm released me so fa
st I nearly lost my balance.
“Sure, Prez,” Neil stumbled, racing to get a glass and the bottle for his president.
“Not for me you half-wit. That’s what she drinks. Learn it. Fast.”
Neil nodded profusely, spilling the amber liquid on the bar top as he poured and slid the glass over to me. “There you go, Chel.”
I threw back the whole glass before turning to get a good look at the man standing behind me, the man who’s mere presence threw my world completely off-kilter—or was that the alcohol? Right now, I couldn’t tell. He stared me down, his eyes drilling through my defenses.
“You’re back.” Were the only words he uttered.
Andie took up a conversation with the others quickly, moving out of the tense atmosphere that we had created.
“Yeah, I got in about an hour ago.”
He flicked his head, gesturing for me to follow him before he walked away and I followed. I’d missed him the past couple of days that I had spent with Harmony and every part of me ached to be near him. He took a seat at a table across the room, I pulled out a chair to sit beside him, but his hand shot out, wrapping itself around my wrist and pulling me into his lap.
I didn’t fight.
The anger and hurt inside me hadn’t gone but was simply pushed aside by need. The need to feel him, the need to touch him, the need to hear his voice. I landed ungracefully right on top of him, luckily his other hand caught me before I fell straight off the other side and onto the floor. He wrapped both his arms around my waist and nuzzled his face into my hair.
“How much have you had to drink, Blackbird?” He chuckled against me.
“Just that one,” I answered, pointing to the bar.
“Lightweight.”
“Asshole.”
“Princess.”
Chelsea (The Club Girl Diaries Book 2) Page 9
