But everything was off-limits for him now, and he hated that.
He hated feeling helpless. He hated having to depend on his mother as if he was a child again. He hated how his brothers treated him with kid gloves. He hated that he’d ruined a huge moment in Kane’s career. Kane had dropped out of one of the biggest fights in the world because Quinn was his agent and brother, and Quinn had been unconscious and laid up in a hospital bed, which meant Kane insisted on being with him, instead of in the cage.
The guilt still ate away at Quinn all these months later. Everyone in his family had told him not to feel that way. They’d all told him to focus on his recovery, but the guilt remained.
He thought of all those things and more in the dark, cavernous tank as the salt water rocked him ever so gently. Though the relief he felt from the water was overwhelming, the emotions he’d been ignoring since the accident were all-consuming.
And it was too much.
A tear escaped and slid down into the water beneath him as he lay on his back squeezing his eyes shut. It took only seconds before the rest of them followed—slow, steady, true. For the first time in years, at twenty-seven years old, Quinn let himself cry.
He needed the release from his inner suffering just as much as he’d needed this therapy to relieve his physical aches and pains. His heart pounded hard in his chest, and he could hear its beat in his ears. It was only a few tears, a small purging of emotions he’d held back for so long, but it was enough. Inhaling slowly and deeply, he let himself relax. He let himself feel.
He needed…something, but what that was, he didn’t know.
Maybe he needed a change—his life had to change.
He’d nearly died, and there were so many things he’d kept hidden from his family, and the entire world. He’d always done what he should do. He’d been who he should be. But he’d never done what he wanted to do, or been who he wanted to be. Nor even told anyone that.
As his pain flowed away with the last of his few tears, he made a new resolve to live differently. To live the life he wanted—even if he didn’t know exactly what that was yet.
“Hello?”
A bright light suddenly fell on him and cold air hit his tearstained face. He blinked his eyes open to see the only woman he’d ever loved staring down at him.
“Hello…oh. Quinn?”
You have got to be kidding me. He didn’t say anything, his voice refusing to find itself as he quickly pushed up into a seated position in the tank, yanking out his earplugs and wiping any evidence of his previous emotions from his face. The room was fully lit, and his eyes took a moment to adjust to the brightness. His heart immediately began pounding against his rib cage and his stomach had started doing somersaults the moment he’d laid eyes on her.
Well, this is awkward as shit. What is she even doing here?
“Um, we beeped that the session was ending, and when you didn’t come out…” Kiera Finley’s fair skin blushed bright red as she stared at him, wide-eyed. “I just wanted to come check on you. Well, I didn’t know it was you, but now that I know it’s you, should I leave? Is this weird? This is weird. I’ll go. Wait, are you okay? Why’s your face all red? Was it hot in there? What are you even doing here? Are you hurt? Should I go? I should go. Wait…were you crying?” she asked again, her words tumbling out so fast he could barely decipher them.
Quinn’s back was to her, but he’d turned his head to face her as he blinked slowly, trying to register the onslaught of questions flying past her pretty pink lips. She was messing with a wisp of strawberry-blond hair that had fallen out of her bun, the expression on her face as shocked as he felt.
Memories of when they were kids surfaced. She’d always rambled when she was nervous—apparently, the trait had stuck over the years, since Kiera was definitely all woman now. And still rambling. Her light blue eyes peered at him, and even in the dim light, they were as translucent and luminous as he remembered.
“Keeks?” Is it really her? Or is my mind playing tricks again?
She swallowed, and he followed the movement of her neck before she nodded. “Yeah, it’s me.” Her voice barely above a whisper now.
He didn’t drop his gaze, and their eyes connected in a way that made his heart feel broken and healed all at the same time. “Don’t go.” Please, stay.
She swallowed again, and Quinn wasn’t sure what was going through her mind—or his. She was here, and all he knew was he did not want her to go.
Not now. Not after what she’d seen, what they’d been, what he felt…If there was one thing he knew, it was that right now in this moment, he needed her there. He wasn’t sure why, but he did.
“Um…yeah, okay.” She kneeled down next to the tank, draping one arm over the edge. “Are you feeling o— Oh fudge, you are very naked. Of course you would be. I see naked people all the time. This is so normal. So…normal.”
Quinn laughed, and damn, it felt good. The happy sensation was so surprising that he laughed again, harder this time. He’d forgotten how hilarious she could be without even trying, how often she rambled when she was nervous, or her aversion to cussing that had made her that much more irresistible all those years ago.
Kiera flushed and sat back on her heels. “It wasn’t that funny,” she huffed.
He moved to stand, but his legs gave way and he fell back into the water with a loud splash. He winced, missing the soothing peace he’d felt only moments earlier. Pain vibrated up and down his legs, and he exhaled slowly in an attempt to breathe through it.
“Quinn!” she gasped, reaching for his arm to steady him.
His skin heated under her fingers, and he turned to see the worry on her face. “I might need a little help here, Keeks. Looks like I’m all loosened up from the water.”
“No one’s called me that in years,” she mused, a small smile on her face.
“I’d hope not,” he replied, happy to hear that. “That’s mine.”
Her tongue slid across her bottom lip as her long lashes fluttered. “Yeah, I guess it was.”
She was truly as beautiful as he remembered, even more beautiful all grown up. He’d first fallen in love with her when they were children—she’d punched his younger brother, Jimmy, in the face when he’d stolen her ball and then told their parents he’d punched her instead. Jimmy had gotten grounded, and Kiera had gotten ice cream.
And Quinn had fallen in love.
She was three years younger than him, so he had refused to act on his feelings, but he’d become her best friend and bodyguard. When Jenny Thompson had called Kiera fat in fifth grade, he’d convinced his younger cousin, Casey, to scare some sense into Jenny. When Manny Allen had tried to kiss her at freshman homecoming, despite her many objections, Manny had spent the rest of the dance locked in a broom closet. When actor Chad Michael Murray never responded to Kiera’s fangirl letters after she’d plastered his picture all over her bedroom walls, Quinn had sent the actor his own letter telling him to go fuck himself for hurting his Keeks.
That was the nickname he’d given her when he was a toddler, never having been able to pronounce her name much differently than his brother Kieran’s name. Their mothers were close friends, so she’d been around his siblings all the time and it was just confusing. So his brother was Kieran, and she was Keeks.
At least, she had been up until their last night together.
“Are there any towels in here?” she asked. “I can help you out, but we should probably cover all…” She made sweeping motions with her hands, indicating his chest and lower body. “All of…well…the, uh, goods…I mean, the man parts.”
“I left the towel in the shower,” he told her, eager for this part of their exchange to be over. He had never been shy about his body before, but his newly acquired scars made him want to cover himself. He’d worked hard on his physique all his life, and he was damn proud of everything he was sporting below the metaphorical belt. That she could look at all she wanted—hell, he’d encourage her to.
Kiera nibbled her bottom lip, purposefully avoiding looking at him, but taking quick peeks that were unbelievably obvious. “I should go grab that then.”
“Don’t be shy, Keeks.” Quinn chuckled, hoping his scars weren’t the focus of her gaze. “You’ve seen me naked before.”
The blush on her cheeks went so dark it extended down her neck and flamed to her chest—the Irish in her blood like a red flag. “You remember that night, huh?”
She offered her hand to help steady him as he got to his feet and leaned on the tank’s edge. The pain in his legs swelled at first, but then slowly dissipated as he breathed through it. When he stood, his hands on both of her shoulders so he wouldn’t tip over, he found himself pausing for a moment to stare at her.
She looked down to avoid his eyes, but that meant she was staring directly at his fully erect manhood instead.
He couldn’t help it, being this close to her. He was still a man standing in front of a gorgeous woman, after all.
Kiera’s eyes widened, and she quickly looked up at the ceiling instead. “Oh, goodness, so much naked.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” he teased, hobbling toward the shower with an arm over her shoulder for balance. Despite the fact that his body wanted her, there wasn’t a chance in hell he was about to make a move on her or anything like that.
Burn him once, shame on her. Burn him twice? He wasn’t about to take that risk.
“What are you even doing here, Keeks?” It finally dawned on him that it was more than a little strange she was there.
In his flotation tank chamber.
After years apart.
While he was naked. So much naked, as she’d specified.
“I’m studying for my DPT—doctor of physical therapy. I’m working here as part of the program.”
Quinn’s brows lifted and he stared down at her. “No shit? You’re a doctor now?”
He wasn’t surprised. She’d always been so much smarter than he was, and she’d had big dreams of helping people. Meanwhile, he’d been chasing money for the last ten years of his life as an agent to big-name mixed martial arts talent, helping them make their careers and line his pockets.
That wasn’t all he did, of course, but no one knew about his hobby, and he planned on keeping it that way.
“Well, not really. Technically, physical therapists don’t have the ‘doctor’ title.” Kiera shrugged, but pride was evident on her face. Then the blush crept back in. “Though you are my patient for now, actually.”
Quinn chuckled as they reached the shower and he gripped the railings provided. “That’s going to be interesting.”
An understatement, for sure.
She didn’t move, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as she stared at him. Seriously, the woman couldn’t take her eyes off him. It was doing all sorts of things for his ego…until he saw her eyes dart to his legs with pity showing on her face.
He hated pity. He’d seen enough of it the last few months and he wanted none of it. “Keeks, unless doctors help patients shower now—which I’d be all for—maybe you should go.”
She blinked in surprise, her pale, piercing eyes meeting his. The blush in her cheeks returned, or maybe it had never left. “Oh, right. Sorry. I’ll be out there if you need me.” She pointed toward the door. “We’ll be doing some exercises together today after an initial exam.”
He nodded, turning on the water and grabbing a small bottle of shampoo provided on an inset shelf. “Hey, Keeks?”
Her hand was on the door when she paused, but she didn’t turn to look at him.
“I could never forget that night.”
The tremor that slid through her body was visible as they were only a few feet apart. She continued staring straight ahead at the door, but nodded, understanding. And then she was gone. Slipping out quickly and quietly, saying nothing.
Just like she’d done six years ago when she’d broken his heart.
Chapter 2
I can’t believe no one told me he was hurt. Kiera stared out the hospital windows high above the ground. And I can’t believe I’m his doctor.
She’d been wavering between the two thoughts as she’d waited for her best friend since childhood to come out of the shower and join her for their first physical therapy session together. She wasn’t even sure she could call him that anymore—they’d barely spoken in six years—but it was impossible for her to just move on from someone who’d been her closest confidant for fifteen years.
On the one hand, she was furious at her mother for not telling her Quinn had been so badly hurt in some incident that, judging by his mostly healed injuries, had clearly happened a while ago. She should have been there for him—she should have been by his side. She should have held his hand when he was hurting most…or was that ridiculous?
Because on the other hand, they’d closed the door on their friendship years ago, all because of a stupid decision on her part the night before she left for college. Kiera frowned as she thought of it, her arms crossing over her chest.
She’d gotten this stupid idea in her head that she couldn’t go to college a virgin, so she’d thrown herself at the safest option—Quinn. At the time, she’d just turned eighteen and he was twenty-one, and it seemed so right. He had always been there for her—he’d been her comfort zone. If she was going to lose her virginity, she wanted it to be with somebody she loved, even if only platonically…or so she’d thought. Damn those emotions for getting in the way.
She exhaled loudly at the thought. So dumb.
It had ended their friendship almost immediately. Sex with Quinn was…unbelievable. Not because he was some sex god or anything, because they’d both been bumbling and fairly uncertain of what they were doing. No, it had nothing to do with the act itself, but rather what he’d awoken in her. His length pressed inside her, their arms wrapped around each other…it was impossible to see Quinn as her best friend anymore.
She could suddenly picture the entire fairytale with him. Staying here in Woodlawn the rest of her life to be with him. Becoming part of his family and future. Falling in love with him. Marrying him, having children with him. She saw them as soulmates that night.
And it freaked her the fuck out.
Kiera had kicked herself for becoming an instant cliché—falling for the man who took her virginity. Doesn’t get more unoriginal than that. If there was one thing she had learned from her mother, it was that falling in love at eighteen would end her life before it even began.
Kiera’s parents had been high school sweethearts, and her mother had gotten pregnant with her almost right away, then spent the rest of their marriage helping Kiera’s father with one failed business venture after another. When he’d died in a car accident when Kiera was young, her mother had been left with no money, no job, and no idea what she wanted to do with her life.
Watching her mother struggle had been one of the greatest pains in Kiera’s life. She worked low-paying jobs, bouncing from one to the next for years. Her mother went on random dates here and there, sometimes had a boyfriend for a couple of weeks that they never saw again. Despite how she’d tried to hide it from her daughter, Kiera could see how miserable her mother was for all those years.
All Kiera had heard growing up was be independent, have a career, be successful. They were important lessons and Kiera never forgot—especially after seeing her mother living out the consequences. She wanted to make her mother proud, and she wanted to be successful. She wanted to be a doctor, and now she was.
So the moment that flutter of butterflies had touched her heart during their night together, Kiera shut it down. She was not giving up her future for the kid down the block. She was not going to be her mom.
College was a welcome distraction on the other side of the country, but the moment she’d arrived, she realized how much she’d come to depend on Quinn. Living in a brand-new town all by herself was scary—people to meet, experiences to have—she wasn’t Keeks, that Kavanagh boy’s little side
kick, anymore. She’d been forced to grow up and discover who she really was without him, without New York, without any of the things that had once defined her.
And now, working on her doctorate at twenty-four years old…she was pursuing her dreams, and she absolutely loved everything about being a physical therapist. It spoke to every part of her—nurturing, challenging, problem solving, and even a little messy at times. This was her dream, and she’d left home and everything she’d ever known to pursue it.
She wouldn’t have become the person she was now if she hadn’t been given the chance to find out for herself. She wasn’t even sure she’d have the same career, or be a physical therapist at all, if she’d stayed for a high-school romance that might never have been. Either way, it was a risk she hadn’t been willing to take at the time—and she didn’t regret it.
What she did regret was the loss of Quinn’s friendship. She’d called him dozens of times, only to be sent to voicemail. When she came home on breaks, he stayed away. When family functions forced them together, he acted repulsed by her and was always rude.
That’s when she’d realized she hadn’t needed to be worried about falling in love with Quinn—he was not interested in her at all. Her ego had been bruised for a while, but she’d quickly realized it was for the best…it was what she’d wanted anyway.
One reckless night and their friendship, plus potential romance, had gone up in flames.
If only it hadn’t been the best night of her life.
Kiera sighed at the memory. She’d been with only a few guys in the last six years, all fairly serious boyfriends at the time, but none of them had ever come close to what she’d felt that night with Quinn. Sure, their one night together had been a little awkward, being her first time, and there was a good thirty seconds where she was sure they were doing it wrong, but the way he’d looked at her? The way he’d kissed every inch of her and whispered comforting words of affection to her…her heart had shattered into a million pieces, and her body followed suit shortly after. It’d been the absolute perfect loss-of-virginity story, until her heart got in the way—so, so dumb.
Chasing a Legend Page 2
