by Stan Mason
But then again, I was hovering in my spirit form in front of the Angel of Consolation wide awake with fury passing through my mind. It was seemingly real and I could only suppose that it was not a nightmare after all despite the fact that I wish it had been. I would so much have liked to wake up in the morning with the arthritic pain torturing me down my right side, staring at objects with my good eye, and the need to try to catch my breath as my heart pounded irregularly in my chest. It would be far better to face reality than to have passed away to find myself in this predicament. It was quite clear now that I could not enter Heaven because of my adverse attitude to the evil deeds I had committed on Earth, therefore I was to be punished time and time again. It was a pointless process because I doubt whether I could ever conform to Heaven’s rules. The angelic hierarchy would continue to punish me for eternity unless I capitulated but I didn’t feel that I had committed evil deeds to do so. It was a kind of Mexican standoff which I couldn’t possibly win.
‘You sent me back to Earth three times,’ I advanced slowly. ‘Why did you do that?’
‘Everyone has the chance to do that,’ he replied candidly. ‘Not everyone agrees to do so but you did.’
‘You mean I obeyed the rules,’ I uttered slowly, watching his features closely.
‘Indeed you did,’ he returned easily.
‘I saw scenes that horrified me,’ I told him sharply. ‘Why did I have to go through that?’
‘You still ask too many questions, Jeremiah,’ he said sternly. ‘Why can’t you conform and behave like the other spirits? Why can’t you control yourself?’
I laughed although it was really a case of chagrin. ‘I pass away on Earth and I think I’ve gone to Heaven,’ I retorted lamely. ‘Everyone tells me it’s Heaven but now I find out that it’s not. Surely such deception is against the rules here! I tell you, I’m not happy with the way I’ve been treated.’
‘You’re a mere Seraph,’ returned the angel abruptly. ‘You’ll do what you’re told and that’s an end to it! Now... are you prepared to show remorse for your deeds during your lifetime or not. It’s as simple as that!’
My senses riled against his remark so fiercely that I allowed my tongue to rule my head. ‘I’ll say it again,’ I savaged sharply. ‘I’ve done nothing wrong. Please let me into Heaven so that I can continue there for eternity and stop punishing me unwittingly.’
‘We cannot continue this conversation,’ muttered the Angel of Consolation huffing and puffing. ‘You will return to the place of your imprisonment until you relent and change your views.’
‘Wait!’ I countered quickly, not wishing to go back to the cage and possibly face losing my soul altogether. ‘What if I’m taken by the Soul Gatherer?’ I ventured fearfully.
‘You’re protected from him,’ came the reply.
‘How so?’ I demanded eagerly. I needed far more assurance than a brief comment of such a nature.
‘You do not need to know that,’ replied the angel sombrely.
‘Is the Soul Gatherer part of Heaven?’ I asked trying to find out more about him.
‘I cannot answer that question to a Seraph,’ he returned, allowing me to think that somehow I was right.
‘You need to be prepared to return to the prison where you were incarcerated,’ he informed me.
‘Just a moment,’ I cut in quickly. ‘I want to appeal to my sentence. I demand to see God or a Supreme Power, way above the Angelic Court to present my case in person.’
‘What you ask for can never come about,’ he told me sadly.
‘Why’s that?’ I demanded. ‘Is it that there is no God... no Supreme Power... in control of the universe? Just a bunch of angels at the top of the hierarchy making their own rules!’
‘I think we’ve ended our conversation, Jeremiah,’ he concluded with an extremely unpleasant expression crossing his face.
‘Wait!’ I uttered curtly. ‘I have another idea. Why don’t you let me take on a mission in real Heaven? One in which I can show my ability and talent. I could be of great value.’
‘As are millions of other spirits in Heaven all of whom have shown remorse and expiated their sins. There are plenty of them willing to undertake missions.’
I intended to stall him for as long as possible to prevent him from sending me back to jail. Thinking quickly, I cam up with another idea. ‘Then why not allow me to enter Heaven on probation. If I fail to obey orders or do something wrong you can send me back to prison.’
He thought over my suggestion for a short while and then nodded. ‘That might be a good idea,’ he told me slowly. ‘Mixing with other spirits might make you change your mind.’
‘I didn’t know that other spirits could mix with me,’ I said casually, recalling that no one in particular could hear me, nor I them.’
‘You haven’t been in Heaven,’ he returned with a wisp of a smile touching his lips.
‘Will I be greeted by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates?’ I asked hopefully.
‘I can’t understand why people on Earth should think that Heaven’s a citadel with Pearly Gates,’ he laughed. ‘But I’m going to grant your last request on a temporary basis. You will come into contact with two spirits who will tell you of their way of life in Heaven and answer many more of your questions. It’s you last chance, Jeremiah. The angelic hierarchy is becoming tired of your wayward attitude. They will not stand for it much longer.’
I was immediately despatched to an area that seemed to be a wide desert which ranged way into the distance beyond the horizon. There was nothing there to appreciate. No trees, no bushes, no lakes, no mountains... just a long flat desert. However the only items I could observe in that vast area were thousands of bench seats where spirits could rest. In the background I could hear the sound of a multitude of voices singing. I could not recognise the song but I found it to be very pleasant to the ears. As I composed myself, I realised that I was standing in front of a man and a woman whose spiritual bodies were actually touching each other in a tender fashion.
‘Hello, my friend,’ greeted the man warmly even though I had suddenly materialised out of nowhere. ‘Take a seat!’ He pointed to a bench seat opposite them and I complied with his command. ‘I’m Doug Molloy,’ he went on, ‘and this is my wife, Jenny.’
‘Hi... Mr. & Mrs. Molloy,’ I managed to say weakly. ‘I’ve been sent to meet you by the Angel of Consolation.’
‘Really!’ retorted Molloy in amazement. ‘We’ve never met him. What’s he like?’
‘Like any other angel of the hierarchy,’ I explained briefly.
‘Did he have those lovely large white wings?’ enquired the man hopeful that I would reply in the affirmative.
‘Yes, he did,’ I told him. ‘But tell me about yourselves.’
‘We were married for over forty-five years on Earth,’ related the woman readily. ‘We enjoyed every moment of it. Happy as two bunnies.’
‘Glad to hear it,’ I returned still trying to get my bearings. The area was a total desert with numerous seats positioned everywhere and I could only imagine it was a place used for rest and leisure. I would have loved to have seen some green grass and a lake or two but it was not here in Heaven for anyone to enjoy. ‘How did you come to meet up here?’ I asked innocently.
‘Jenny passed away a year before I did,’ rattled Molloy without emotion in his voice.
‘I was always looking out for him,’ said Jenny eagerly. ‘I asked one of the angelic hierarchy to alert me when Doug passed away and he did. It was wonderful to meet up again in Heaven.’
‘And you obviously felt all your emotions come to the fore,’ I uttered, bemoaning the fact that none of my senses returned for quite some time after I had died.
‘Oh yes!’ she said with a smile crossing her face. ‘It was like meeting him for the first time all over again.’
Molloy stared at me in surprise. ‘Don’t you know?’ he enquired with a puzzled expression.
‘I’m afraid I don’t,’ I replied. ‘Please tell me.’
‘Well,’ he began, ‘ the main aim is to study and learn. Although we have passed away we still have a role to play in the academy of knowledge.’
‘The academy of knowledge,’ I repeated with interest. ‘What do you study?’
‘There’s the universe and all the galaxies within it. That’s a very big subject and it takes up a lot of our time. We learn all about the Great Chain of Being. Then there’s the religious side.’
‘Tell me about that,’ I begged cutting in sharply.
‘There’s a Supreme Power in Heaven... ’ began Jenny before I interrupted her.
‘Have you seen him?’ I demanded. ‘Have you actually seen him?’
‘Well of course not,’ she continued with an element of annoyance in her voice at having been interrupted. ‘We’re only Seraphim. You can’t expect to see the Supreme Power until you’re well up the ranking order. It’s just comforting to know that he’s there.’
‘And you’re certain that he is? I mean he might be a mythical figure like Santa Claus,’ I interjected quickly.
‘Of course he is,’ uttered Molloy in disbelief, stunned that I should even have to ask the question.
‘Okay,’ I remonstrated. ‘Show me your proof!’
‘Proof?’ snapped Mrs. Molloy angrily. ‘We don’t need proof! We have faith!’
I didn’t trouble to pursue the matter. It was the same as on Earth where people blindly prayed to their God... or Supreme Power... without having the faintest idea whether he existed or not.
‘Tell me more about the study side,’ I pressed, not wishing to upset either of them.
They took a little time to simmer down and then Molloy continued to enlighten me.
‘We learn about the spirits from other galaxies,’ he related calmly, staring directly into my eyes.
‘How different are they?’ I asked, thinking about some of the monstrosities and monsters I had seen in films on television.
‘Most of them are not exactly like us,’ cut in Mrs. Molloy. ‘They have irregular shapes, numerous arms or legs, and their existence is entirely different to our own.’
I desperately wanted to pursue the matter but the questions built so up rapidly in my mind that there was hardly time for details. ‘Go on,’ I pressed urgently, wanting to hear more.
Molloy shrugged his shoulders aimlessly. ‘There’s the direction with regard to promotion to a higher order of angels,’ he went on, ‘but that’s a difficult task to achieve.’
‘There’s also adherence and the knowledge of the minor rules related to Heaven,’ Mrs. Molloy told me.
‘And don’t forget the formation of new worlds and the destruction of the old ones,’ mumbled Molloy not wishing to be left out of the loop.
‘Apart from studies,’ I intervened smartly, ‘what else is there in Heaven for you?’
‘We have leisure time,’ Mrs. Molloy informed me casually. ‘This is the place we often come to during our leisure period.’
‘And how often is that?’ I enquired curtly.
‘We don’t know,’ stated Molloy. ‘There’s no time in Heaven. Didn’t you know that?’
‘So really your existence in the spirit world is made up of study, prayer, and leisure,’ I advanced, piecing together the details like a jigsaw puzzle.
‘And the choir,’ uttered Mrs. Molloy. ‘We all sing in the choir.’
‘As there’s the adoration of the angelic hierarchy,’ declared Molloy calmly. ‘Don’t forget that.’
Before I could continue the conversation it appeared that the period allotted to me to meet other spirits in Heaven and ask them questions was terminated. I found myself standing back in the cage next to my fellow spirit with no name.
‘I suppose you wonder where I got to,’ I ventured, although he didn’t seemed perturbed by my disappearance and reappearance.
‘What are you talking about, man?’ he demanded with a strange expression crossing his face.
‘I was interviewed by the Angel of Consolation and went back to Heaven,’ I told him, surprised at his attitude.
‘You went nowhere, man,’ he retorted. ‘You was here all the time. What made you think you was somewhere else?’
‘I told you,’ I ranted with an element of irritation in my voice. ‘I was interviewed by an angel and I saw the Molloys ... a husband and wife who answered a number of questions about what was going on in Heaven.’
‘You is out of yo’ mind, man,’ he insisted. ‘You stood here just over here, thinking hard about sump’n but ah’m, telling you, you never left this cage... not for one second.’
‘I thought back about the philosophical comment of the Angel of Consolation. He had been absolutely right in what he had told me. ‘Believe in what you see and then believe nothing of it,’ he had remarked. ‘For seeing is believing and anything you believe in you can see.’ It was extremely hard for me to believe that my brief journey into Heaven had all been a great illusion? It was quite possible that it had never happened at all. Yet if, as no name insisted, I had been incarcerated in prison all the time, then it might well have been so.
‘I don’t suppose there’s any way out of here,’ I muttered hopelessly with a forlorn expression on my face.
‘There aint even a door to this cage, man,’ related my fellow spirit. ‘We’re stuck here for ever. Yep, I reckon we’re here for the rest of eternity.’
I sat down on one of the chairs gloomily feeling that I had been used by the Angel of Consolation. Why would he bother to take me out of jail and send me into Heaven to meet the Molloys. What was the purpose of it? On reflection, it was not a great idea especially as I seemed to be barred from entering the great immortal realm of the dead. Yet here I was incarcerated in a miserable jail for no real reason than my reluctance to scream for mercy and show remorse in order to expiate my Earthly sins. The angelic hierarchy had twisted my mind, abused me, forced me to defend myself in the Angelic Court, and now they demanded their pound of flesh. It was quite clear that I had no chance of winning the battle, let alone the war. Subsequently, I felt that there was no other option than to submit although I was determined to have my own way in the matter.
‘Very well,’ I shouted at the top of my voice. ‘I’ll show remorse for the misdeed that was premeditated by me on Earth. I sorrowfully regret that I falsely informed on my fellow teacher at the school. I was wrong and I now wish to repent. It’s far too late for apologies but I humbly submit that I was very wrong to do what I did and I’ll agree to any form of punishment for the misdeed.’
A voice sounded sonorously in my head which dismayed me to a certain extent because it came as a critical reproach rather than a commendation for my change of mind.
‘And what about your other misdeeds,’ it demanded loudly. ‘When are you going to show remorse about them?’
‘There were no others!’ I countered angrily. ‘You’ve got it all wrong! My affair with Jeannette Dubois was one of my own making. It was not a bad thing and as far as running that man down as he was about to move off the kerb I can honestly say that it was not a bad deed either. It happened to be an accident. Although it was my fault, that motor vehicle incident wasn’t premeditated. I was angry at the break-up of my affair and wasn’t concentrating in the darkness. I cannot show remorse for the affair or the motor accident because in truth I did no wrong.’
I stared bleakly at my fellow spirit who seemed astonished that I was talking to thin air.
‘Whassa matta wi’ you, man?’ he uttered in surprise. ‘Hev you gone outta yo’ mind? Yo is speaking to yo’self!’
‘I’m showing remorse in order to expiate the sin that I committed on Earth,’ I told him. ‘I’m in contact with one of the senior angels now. We can hear each other’s thoughts by telepathic means.’
‘What do ya mean... like a telephone?’ he enquired wondering whether or not to believe me. ‘Ah you sayin’ yo is actually in contact with someone up there?’
‘That’s right,’ I replied slowly, ‘although I don’t think it’s done me much good. I’m still stuck here in this lousy jail.’
‘Ah don’t know whether you have lost yor senses, man,’ he chided, staring directly at me as though I might be about to attack him.
‘I’m going to get out of here one way or the other,’ I promised even though I was unsure of the outcome.
‘Yo aint goin’ nowhere, man,’ responded my fellow spirit. ‘As ah said before, ah reckon you an’ me are in here for ever.’
