by Stan Mason
‘I would have stayed there happily had they allowed me to. You see, Hell is the good side.’
‘If what you say is true,’ he bleated, ‘I shall be here for ever!’
‘I recommend that you expiate your sins and forget about God otherwise you’ll never get out of here,’ I suggested strongly.
‘I might say the same for you,’ he countered curtly.
‘I’ve really done nothing wrong,’ I moaned.
‘That’s the same for me!’ he returned angrily. ‘I’ve offered to paint the most fantastic pictures which could be hung anywhere but they’re only interested in their rules.’
Although I faced a similar dilemma, I felt sorry for the French spirit. If he wanted to meet only God then he was wasting his time with a new programme relating to the future population on Earth. But he, poor devil, had no chance!
5
We stopped talking at the sound of footsteps approaching the cage from the far distance. I went back to the bars to stare bleakly into the darkness as the footsteps came nearer. Very soon, a female spirit came into sight. She approached the cage and passed directly through the bars to enter. I stared at her in awe for she was the spitting image of Jeannette Dubois, the French teacher with whom I had engaged in an illicit affair when on Earth. Consequently, I regarded her as a magnificent looking spirit with a beautiful face and a slim body. I had no doubt that she had been sexually desired strongly by many men in her past life.
‘Welcome to nowhere,’ I greeted amiably. ‘You’re not related to a French woman by the name of Jeannette Dubois, are you?’ I asked meekly, wondering whether she might have been her sister. There was no reply, simply a vacant stare. ‘To what do we owe the pleasure of your company?’ I continued pointlessly.
She gave me another cold stare before answering the question. ‘You’d have to ask the idiot who ran me down in his motor vehicle!’ she replied savagely. ‘That’s the reason why I’m here!’
‘But why?’ I enquired inquisitively. ‘What misdeeds did you commit when you were alive?’
‘Mind your own business!’ came the curt reply.
‘No wonder you’ve ended up here with that sort of attitude,’ I reproached smartly.
She looked at the other spirit sitting on the chair and after a few moments rethought the situation, starting to relent. ‘Okay,’ she related calmly. ‘I was the Chief Secretary to the Managing Director of one of the major TV networks with access to the funds subscribed by sponsors and advertisers. I creamed off quite a lot of money over a period of eighteen months but the auditor discovered it before I had time to leave. Subsequently, I was arrested for theft. I was also married but occasionally worked as a hostess, or an escort, to men who needed someone to be with at dinners, parties, concerts, and the like. It meant going to bed with some of the clients which didn’t go down too well when my husband found out about it. Then, one night when leaving a night club, I was standing on the pavement waiting for a taxi when someone pushed me into the road in front of a car. That’s how I came to be here.’
‘I see,’ I returned sadly. ‘You didn’t do enough to be permitted into Hell.’
‘To Hell... no... thank Heavens for that,’ she riposted quickly.
‘You don’t understand... ,’ I tried to explain, before tailing off into infinity. I considered it was inadvisable at this point to go into details.
Before I could continue our conversation, a voice sounded loudly in my head. It was that of the Angel of Determination.
‘Jeremiah,’ he said in a booming voice. ‘I have discussed your case with the angelic hierarchy. They have agreed to allow you to undertake the work we talked about, offering you one assistant to help you in the endeavour. However, the arrangement will only be temporary. You are still refused entry into this realm until you expiate your sins. However, you will note that we have met most of your requirements and removed that part of the condition by which the work is carried out in Purgatory. What is your decision?’
I paused to weigh up the situation in my mind. I could stay imprisoned for the whole of eternity by refusing to sign the contract to expiate my sins. Alternatively, I could agree to work on the new project in Heaven although I had no idea what would happen to my spirit when it was completed. There was a possibility I would be taken by the Soul Gatherer and lose my soul afterwards. And yet there was a third option which came readily to mind. It had been one that I had discarded when I first arriving in Heaven but now it suddenly had a great deal of appeal. I could ask the angelic hierarchy to reincarnate me... to send me back to Earth in a new body but hopefully with the same mind. The latter option, in my opinion, seemed to be the only reasonable one to pursue. Whether the angelic hierarchy would consent to it was another matter.
I used telepathy to contact the Angel of Determination by thinking hard that I had come to a decision. He transported me instantly back to the tiny room staring at me with a stern expression on his face.
‘So... you have come to a decision,’ he stated warmly, expecting me to conform with his wishes. ‘Will you take on the new project with the sub-condition mentioned?’
I shook my head slowly. ‘Not in a million years,’ I retorted calmly. ‘You ask for far too much. As far as I’m concerned, either I’m accepted into this realm on a full basis and work here for your benefit or I’m out. You can’t have it both ways.’
I must have seriously wrong-footed him because he appeared to be flabbergasted by my answer.
‘Do you really want to spend the rest of eternity in that terrible jail?’ he spluttered in dismay.
‘No,’ I responded sharply. ‘I’ve come to a completely different decision. I want to be reincarnated... as soon as possible. You see, I suspect that if I returned to jail I would eventually be absorbed into the Soul Gatherer and become a dead soul. Consequently, it’s come down to a decision as to whether I live or I die... and I want to live.’
‘Why are you thinking that way?’ he managed to say, completely mystified by my change of heart.
‘Because I could start off afresh if I was reincarnated. At least it would get me out of this predicament in Heaven. Maybe next time when I come back it’ll be different.’
‘You’re taking the easy way out and it’s the wrong one,’ he criticised pointedly.
‘I’ll be the judge of that,’ I responded not wishing to go into polemics relating to my future..
‘You realise that you won’t return as a teacher to the place where you lived. You’ll be sent to a new location somewhere else, to different parents, in a changed environment, anywhere on Earth. As far as you’re concerned, it’ll be a lottery.’ He paused to allow his words to sink into my mind before continuing. ‘The second thing is that your case will need to be discussed by the angelic hierarchy to determine whether they’ll grant your wish.’
‘Then I’ll leave it in their good hands,’ I returned sagely. ‘I just ask that you let me stay here in this room until they make their decision. It’s extremely unpleasant in that damned prison.’
‘Wait here!’ he ordered, as his great white wings sprouted and he flew out of a large aperture upwards.
I looked around bleakly realising that the room was practically the same as the jail. I was still in a kind of prison caged inside it. The only difference was that it had walls instead of bars. I knew I wouldn’t have to wait long before the angelic hierarchy came to a decision. If they approved my request I would be out of their hair for ever if they sent me back to Earth. I really didn’t care where I ended up on the planet as long as I was returned in human form and not as an animal.
He returned shortly, gazing at the hopeful expression on my face. ‘I’m sorry,’ he informed me, ‘but your request has been denied.’
‘On what grounds?’ I demanded angrily with disappointment flowing through my essence.
‘It isn’t necessar
y for senior angels to offer explanations to Seraphim,’ he rattled with an element of distaste at my impertinence.
‘Well I have something to say about that rejection!’ I ranted irately. ‘I’m going to cause the greatest turmoil in Heaven you’ve ever seen. You may incarcerate me in your prison but it won’t do you any good. If I ever agreed to the terms of your offer about the future population on Earth, I would mess it up, ruining the research to your greatest dissatisfaction. You can count on it!’
‘Jeremiah,’ he started before I rudely interrupted him.
‘No... don’t you Jeremiah me!’ I yelled vociferously. ‘You go back to that Committee of angels or God himself and tell him to rescind that refusal. I want to be reincarnated and there’s an end to it. Otherwise you’ll face great problems here. Of that I promise you!’
He seemed extremely concerned at my reaction and his head went down as if in prayer. I knew that he was in contact with someone or something high up above. It may have been God or a Supreme Power but, due to the fact that no one ever mentioned his name and I hadn’t seen him, I very much doubted it. When his head rose again, he stared at me and shrugged his shoulders.
‘Your demand is being reconsidered in the light of what you have said,’ he uttered dismally.
We both waited patiently for an answer and shortly the Angel of Determination lowered his head slightly as if receiving an incoming call in his head.
‘They have turned down your request,’ he told me bluntly.
‘They can’t do that!’ I insisted adamantly. ‘Go back and demand that they review my case again!’
‘I can’t do that,’ he uttered sadly. ‘Their decision is final. They have refused to agree to your reincarnation.’
‘I demand to know why!’ I yelled at the top of my voice, looking upwards. ‘Why do you deny me?’ Silence prevailed and I continued my tirade. ‘If you won’t reincarnate me, I insist that you send me to Hell. I don’t care what kind of case you’ll have to put up to get me there but that’s what I want!’
Silence continued toi reign until it became outstanding in its volume.
‘They cannot arrange for you to be sent to the other realm,’ declared the Angel of Determination eventually. ‘There’s no link, no liaison, and no means by which it can be carried out.’
‘No, no, no!’ I remonstrated angrily. ‘I managed it once through that blessed dark tunnel. If I, as a lowly Seraph can do it, so can your angelic hierarchy. What’s to stop them?’
‘It’s mainly the fact that you’ve already been rejected from that place,’ he returned seriously. ‘The rules are such that you can’t go back.’
‘Rules,’ I savaged irately, as the further rejection elevated itself to the back of my mind. ‘Okay,’ I went on thoughtfully, ‘I’ll take on the project regarding the future population on Earth but don’t expect any decent results.’
He shook his head slowly. ‘I’m afraid that the angelic hierarchy can no longer trust you after your initial tirade that you would not produce positive results if they allowed you to continue with the project. You can no longer be considered for the task,’ he informed me. ‘You have proved to be a unsettled spirit and the previous offer to you no longer stands.’
‘Then we’re all back to square one,’ I advanced quickly. ‘Therefore the way is clear for you to arrange for me to be reincarnated, If you don’t need me here to carry out the project you may as well send me back.’
His head went down again and silence continued to prevail. Then, after a few moments, he looked up and shook his head. ‘I’m afraid that ther will be no change of status,’ he told me with a dour expression on his face. ‘The angelic hierarchy are unwilling to allow you to return to Earth.
‘So what happens to me now,’ I enquired solemnly.
‘You’ll be returned to the prison in which you were previously incarcerated,’ he told me point-blank.
I didn’t have to wait long to be transported there. With a second I had landed back in the cage. This time I knew that I was in deep trouble. It was likely I would be left there for eternity unless I expiated my sins at the whim of the angelic hierarchy. As far as they were concerned, the rules of Heaven were paramount to their existence. I smiled at the female incarcerated with me, allowing my eyes to stare at her beauty. She was indeed lovely to look at. I could actually sense a sexual attraction although the essence of my spirit was incapable of pursuing any proper physical relationship.
‘How many men did you make love to when you were an escort?’ I asked impertinently trying to start up a conversation with her.
‘That’s a very personal question,’ she retorted sharply.
‘A personal question!’ I riposted laughingly. ‘What could be personal in a jail in Purgatory? You tell me that!’
‘Don’t be shy,’ intervened the Frenchman’s spirit from the corner of the cage. ‘Give him an answer to satisfy him.’ It was quite clear that he wished to learn the answer himself.
The female spirit withered under the gaze of the other spirit and shortly relented.
‘I don’t know why it’s so important for you to know that but I reckon it was about thirty-five or forty men. Not everyone I escorted wanted to have sex sith me. Does that satisfy your curiosity?’
The Frenchman’s spirit nodded in commendation. ‘You did well,’ he commented, indicating his personal disappointment. ‘Thirty-five or forty. Huh, I only had twelve affairs with women.’ He turned to her with a new light in his eyes. ‘You are quite some provocative woman. I wish I had known you in Paree. We could have, as you say, exchanged notes and had fun doing it.’
‘Don’t kid yourself!’ she snapped dismissively. ‘I was a high-class escort not a prostitute. I wouldn’t have touched you with a barge-pole!’
The Frenchman’s spirit turned to me with a broad grin on his face. ‘She’s a feisty woman, is this one,’ he uttered laughingly, not wishing to end his conversation with her. ‘You would have been just my type. We could have made love every day.’
‘You think too highly of yourself!’ she echoed harshly. The Frenchman’s spirit went back into its shell at the sharp criticism and he continued to sit silently on his chair. And then fear raged through me like a tsunami wave, overpowering every one of my senses. The sound of thunder could be heard faintly in the distance. I knew without doubt what was about to happen and it terrified me. The thunder heralded the arrival of the Soul Gatherer who was always successful in finding a victim in his hunt. This time i knew that he had come for me. I was to be absorbed by him to become a dead soul. It would mean that I would never be reincarnated and I considered that the angelic hierarchy were being totally merciless in disposing of me in such a way without delay. Indeed, their action meant that I would be out of their hair for ever. Initially, I had believed that dead souls were swiftly despatched to Hell but now I knew it was not the case. So where did dead souls go? I waited patiently as the thunder grew louder recognising that I would soon learn the answer.
‘What’s going on?’ asked the female spirit anxiously with a puzzled expression on her face.
‘Prepare yourself for a severe shock,’ I warned her. ‘You’re going to come face to face with a monster called the Soul Gatherer. You only need to fear if he’s come for you.’
‘The Soul Gatherer?’ she repeated flatly.
‘He’s employed by Heaven to gobble up spirits leaving them with dead souls. But don’t worry yourself,’ I continued. ‘This time he’s coming for me. You see, I’ve come to an impasse with the angelic hierarchy. The want to get rid of me as quickly as possible.’
‘What happens to dead souls?’ she asked innocently.
‘You tell me!’ I riposted. ‘Maybe I’ll soon find out... maybe not. I know for certain that they don’t go to Hell.’
The thunder sounded louder and I composed myself waiting for the Soul Ga
therer to arrive, steeling myself for the impact. During the period that I waited for him to come, I reflected that perhaps it was best that I wasn’t reincarnated after all. I f I had been, it would mean more pain, further agony and a great deal of despair for a dull spirit like myself. I had already suffered in that way as an individual living on Earth. I didn’t really want to repeat the exercise. The only reason I had suggested it to the Angel of Determination was because I wanted to end my incarceration in this grim jail. It was hardly worth all the effort because it was now going to end anyway.
The thunder started to sound very close and I stared into the darkness through the iron bars anticipating the arrival of the monster. The sight of him when he did come was absolutely terrifying. He floated forward out of the darkness in his giant body, moving easily through the iron bars as though they didn’t exist. I faced the giant figure directly expecting him to absorb me.
‘I’m here!’ I shouted boldly, waiting for him to approach me. ‘Take me! I’m ready! Take me now!’
However, to my surprise, he suddenly turned towards the Frenchman’s spirit and absorbed him instantly. Then, to my amazement, he turned and disappeared from the cage leaving the Frenchman’s spirit’s chair empty. I was astonished that I had been left behind having expected to have become a dead soul by now. I wasn’t to end my spiritual existence after all... at least not on this occasion.
The female spirit was extremely shocked at the incident. There was truly no way to explain the monster or his actions unless it was witnessed personally and she had been present to see it.
‘He’s horrible!’ she uttered in despair. ‘Really horrible! What happened to that poor Frenchman?’
I shrugged my shoulders aimlessly. ‘That’s the second time the Soul Gatherer’s been here,’ I told her. ‘If I was on Earth I would say that our days in this place are numbered.’
The female spirit shuddered as she realised what fate had in store for her. I put my arm around her shoulders to comfort her. It was the first time I had touched any other spirit and I felt a warm glow run through me essence. However she moved away quickly from my grasp towards the other side of the cage.
