by Amy Allen
She had a feeling that Rob may have already said what Jeremy had done to her and she knew Joshua had heard what Craig had said, but she wanted to him to actually hear it from her. She wanted to tell him, and that both scared her and made her wonder. But what she was going to say was another thing she’ll be telling him that her family didn’t know and she thought Craig didn’t know. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Not realizing she did it, she rested her arms on his legs, her hands resting on his knees. She wanted to drop her head but thought he wouldn’t hear her so she then made sure to keep it up. Though she found she couldn’t look at him at the moment. “I don’t remember much about that day. I don’t even remember what I was doing. I just remember feeling something poke me in the neck from the side. But that seems to be his norm with regards to me and has been for years. He likes to drug me. Somehow I’ve hidden that from everyone because you are the only one I’ve ever told.”
She did drop her head then for just a minute and took a couple more breaths. She rested her head against him when she felt him tighten his arms around her. She could feel the tears start sliding down her face, but she paid them no mind. “I know the drugs wore off several times that day because … because he’d stop what else he was doing to me to hit me, break bones, and drug me again. From what I heard the paramedics say, when I was in and out of consciousness, most every bone was broken and I was higher than a kite. I have no idea who found me and called for an ambulance. I know it wasn’t Rob. He had just moved here to Maui since we were getting ready to move to Oahu. Dad had just got his transfer to Pearl and I was going to be starting at UH a few weeks later. I guess I either passed out or fell into a coma by the time we reached the hospital since I don’t remember getting to the hospital.”
Lana brought her knees up for a moment, resting her head on her knees, her breathing hitching on silent sobs. She sensed Joshua lean forward, resting his head against hers before he moved an arm from around her to lightly rub her back.
Joshua was hurting for her. No one, especially a woman, should go through that, he thought to himself, and it sounded exactly like the way his sister had been treated by the person who hated her. He didn’t say anything yet, just did what he thought he should for comfort and so she knew he was listening. He rubbed a hand along her back a few more times before putting that arm back around her waist. “You don’t have to continue, Ki. It isn’t necessary.”
Lana shook her head. “No. I need to and I want to tell you about it.” She took another breath, letting it out slowly as she sat back up, leaning against him again. “At some point in that first 24 hours or so after I’d arrived at the hospital I remember waking briefly and seeing something covering me, that I don’t think was the sheet, since I couldn’t see any part of the room or my parents. Anyway, while I was awake, it felt like parts of myself were dying as some kind of fight was going on inside me. I must have passed back out again because the next time I opened my eyes, whatever was covering me was now gone and I was looking at Craig, Rob, Mom, and Dad around my bed. Mom and Dad must have called Rob to tell him I was in the hospital since the last I’d known, he was here on Maui. They all looked shocked. When I asked what was wrong, Mom got a mirror from the nurse’s station and showed me. This was how I looked. The doctor had also come in. From what I could see, and I was lying flat still so it wasn’t easy, he’d looked like he was going to tell Mom and Dad something. I remember glancing at Craig and saw him looking at the doctor and shaking his head. Like he was telling the doctor not to say whatever it was.” She shrugged not letting the reason Craig did that at the time sink in. Up until now, she really hadn’t thought about any of this, nor had she wanted to.
Joshua could feel her shaking and had the feeling it was from the remembering and from crying. Tapping Ash on the back end to get him to move forward, Joshua moved to her side once Ash was out of the way. Leaning forward he picked her up and sat her on his lap, cradling her. He held her that way for a few minutes, letting her cry. When he felt the shaking start to calm, he let go of the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “Just from what you said, I have a feeling Craig knows that Jeremy drugged you. It wouldn’t surprise me since I’ve noticed he is more protective and keeps an eye on you more than Rob does. But I also think that’s why Rob didn’t go diving with us last night. Craig suggested he not go. But I don’t think he ever told Rob or your parents.”
Lana thought about it now that she didn’t want to freak out again. Looking up at Joshua, she started to nod. “I think you’re right now that I actually think about it.” She was still sniffling some, and her voice wasn’t quite steady, but she knew he’d heard her well enough when he smiled and nodded. She was less and less questioning her comfort with Joshua and talking about things she hadn’t told anyone else. Lana just accepted she was attracted to him, and maybe more. But that more was still staying just out of reach for her to grab and look at closer.
Thinking it was time for a subject change he wondered, “Rob mentioned your grandmother being Haitian but Sunday’s dinner wasn’t a Haitian dish from what you said. I’m not sure how to say what language that was when you gave the name of Spicy Chicken in it, which was excellent by the way. Are you Haitian or Haitian and, whatever that was - yeah, I’m not gonna try. Don’t want to butcher it.”
Lana gave a small smile, glad for the change. “You can just say Guamanian if it’s easier. It is actually Chamorro, but Guamanian does work too since the Chamorro people are the native population. And we are a fourth Haitian, a fourth Chamorro/Guamanian, and half Kiowa Indian. Mom is full blood Kiowa. Dad is Guamanian and Haitian.” She suddenly giggled. “Earlier today when Hank was there, I was cussing in Haitian because Mom doesn’t speak it.”
Joshua laughed. “So … besides English, you speak Haitian, the one I can’t quite pronounce, and what?”
“The last two are French and Kiowa. As for Chamorro. I’ll help you with it.” She pronounced it slowly for him and then encouraged him to say it with her. It didn’t take him long to figure it out.
“Ok. So ... English, French, Kiowa, Chamorro, and Haitian. And thanks.” Saying Guamanian had been easier, but he’d wanted to know how to say Chamorro correctly and not go with just what was easy. The word was easier than he’d thought, but he hadn’t ever heard it before, but then again, until he’d met Rob and then her, he hadn’t known anyone from Guam, and he hadn’t known Rob had lived there until he met her. He also thought it was going to be interesting since he also spoke four of the five languages she spoke, was also half Kiowa, one-fourth Haitian and one-fourth French although he was born in the southern Carpathian mountains in Romania. Granted, his maternal grandfather was the one to start the Kiowa tribe twelve thousand years ago after arriving from another planet and his paternal grandparents ended up in Haiti from a planet different than his mother, grandfather, and his triplet siblings - although his paternal grandfather’s parents are said to originally be from France.
She nodded glad he’d wanted to learn.
Still wanting to know more, Joshua wondered, “I know your dad is a prosecuting attorney. What about your mom? I don’t think Rob has ever said.”
Having finally relaxed more, Lana managed a giggled. “She’s a defense attorney. Though I don’t think they’ve gone up against each other in court yet. Not sure if they’d even be able to. They met and then got married when they were getting their bachelor degrees. They then went to law school together from what they said. Dad was already in the Navy when they went to law school since he joined in ’81 after graduating with his bachelors. He joined the Judge Advocate General - JAG - office when he was in his second year of law school.”
“Did you stay on Guam then?”
Lana shook her head. “No. I guess Rob was about a year old when they finished with their bachelors. They spent the three years of Law School on the Mainland. They got a chance to visit my grandparents on Guam before dad was stationed in the DC JAG office until mid ’90. They moved him to the
JAG office on Guam at that point, which is where I was born in the Navy hospital. I was probably about three when we left Guam. Mom was able to easily leave the office she worked at to move. I was nine when we moved back to Guam, twelve when we left again. Somehow we ended back on Guam when I was fifteen and that’s where we stayed until moving to Oahu six years ago. I loved the different places we’d lived, but up until we moved here to Maui, Guam was always home. I still love Guam, always will.” She smiled. “I guess I’m just an Island Girl.”
Joshua smiled. “Where all did you end up living, then?”
“Guam to Seattle, Seattle to Key West, Key West to Guam, Guam to San Diego, then San Diego back to Guam, and finally Guam to Oahu. Then of course to here, but this move wasn’t because of the Navy. Dad got a job in the prosecutor’s office. When I was close to graduating, he started thinking seriously about retiring, finally, so started applying. The prosecutor’s office actually went to him and asked if he’d be willing to relocate from Oahu to Maui. He asked Mom and I. We said sure since Rob was already here. After thirty-four years he will be retired.”
“How is he able to go longer than thirty years of service?”
Lana grinned at him. “He’s an Admiral and is the JAG. He gave, or may be doing that now, his recommendation for who in his office should be promoted and take over as the JAG.” Curious about him, she asked, “What about you? Where did you, Brandi, and Eric grow up?”
He smiled. “I’m actually the youngest of four kids.” For the moment he left out his eldest half-brother William since he didn’t think she was quite ready to hear the full truth, and that meant he also stayed with being two years younger than Mike, Eric, and Brandi. “The oldest of us is Brad and he is seven years older than I am. Next is the triplets – Mike, Eric, and Andi – and, as I’d mentioned, they’re two years older than I am. Then there is me. Brad’s and my dad is the triplets’ step-dad, their dad died before they were born and so they were adopted by the man mom was married to for a short time. So, Mike, Eric, and Brandi spent their time between Oahu and Seattle, but more on Oahu since their dad has an estate there. Brad and I only lived in Seattle until Eric and I moved here. Brad is in Seattle, Mike is in San Diego, and though John is stationed right now at Pearl, John and Brandi, with their triplets, have been in San Diego, Coronado specifically. Eric and I have been here for the last three to four years.”
Raising an eyebrow, she only said, “Really?” She didn’t miss that he hadn’t mentioned his mom for where she was now. She did notice he sounded proud about his older siblings and she was surprised Brandi and Eric were two of triplets. Since he didn’t say whether or not they were, Lana wondered if Mike and Eric were identical. She didn’t say anything, she just watched him, waiting.
Joshua nodded. “Really. And yeah, there’s more to it, I just …” He stopped for the moment. He guessed that she was wondering about his mom since he hadn’t mentioned her. He hoped that when he told her everything, that she’d forgive the omissions and partial lies. He hated lying about his age and, even more, about who he was. “My mom died when I was six. She got sick, cancer – a type of Leukemia. It was hard growing up without Mom but it helped when Andi was around.”
She’d heard the sadness and pain in his voice at the loss of his mom. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose a parent, especially her mom. “I’m sorry about your mom. That couldn’t have been easy to lose her so young. If you ever want to talk about it, I’ll listen.” She smiled gently at him, letting him know she wanted to be there if he needed it like he just was for her. Realizing she only knew what he and Eric did for a living, and he hadn’t said what his dad, or other siblings, including Brandi, she then asked, “Is your dad a firefighter too? What about Brad, Mike, and Brandi? What do they do? I am going to guess John is in the Navy.”
He held her tighter and rested his head against hers briefly. Giving her a hint of a smile, he first said, “Thanks.” She was right about how much it had hurt losing his mom. Even though she was a psychologist, he didn’t feel like she was trying to psychoanalyze him. She was actually interested and would listen with no hidden agendas. To the rest of her questions, he actually chuckled. “Dad is a Superior Court Judge. Brad is a cop with the Seattle PD. Mike is a defense attorney though he was translating for Andi while she was working before John’s transfer. Andi was working for the Navy as a Human Resource Specialist since the Navy Hospital in San Diego didn’t have any openings for a Psychologist. She hasn’t been working since they arrived on Oahu a couple months ago but she’d be able to teach, if she wanted, Physics, Old World History, or Old World Languages. She also has a degree in Graphic Design and with her Ph.D. in Psychology she has a Masters in Criminology. John is a SEAL and plans to retire, I believe, in a couple years. He’ll have been in the Navy for twenty years at that point. You and Andi actually have a lot in common including you both being awesome at sketching.”
Lana was amazed, and surprised, that he became a firefighter with his dad and brothers being either lawyers or cops. She didn’t ask why he chose to be a firefighter instead of going into law. Brandi sounded like her with regards to what she wanted to do, but it sounded like Brandi had a few more choices. Smiling at him, she leaned to him and lightly kissed him. “Mahalo, Josh.”
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He couldn’t believe what he saw. He’d come to this beach to not be bothered by people and savor in his victory. But there she sat. With some guy she was probably whoring herself to.
He went back to his car instead of down to the beach. The little bitch. She should be dead. They should all be out there mourning her loss, the stuck up snobs. Who the hell was this guy she was sitting there with? And why wasn’t she dead. He knew he’d hit her house with the explosive bottles. The light had been on … unless the little whore left the light on even when she was out.
He paced next to his car. Now he had to come up with another way. Smiling maliciously, he knew what he was going to do. It would take some time to plan, and get the supplies he’d need, since the drugs he needed weren’t as easy to come by anymore, but it would work. And if he had to, when he put the plan in motion, he’d show the guy she’s with just who she actually belonged to. Getting in his car, he drove off. Still planning.
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As they sat there, Joshua saw her stiffen, and straighten up, as well as feeling her start to shake again. He was just about to ask her what was wrong when she relaxed again and his phone rang. Still wondering about her reaction, and wondering why the wolves hadn’t reacted, he looked at the caller ID and answered with, “Hey Rob.” Listening a minute, he continued with, “Okay, thanks. We’ll be there shortly.” He saw she already put her sketchpad and phone away, so after hanging up, he leaned over to grab her bag and boots. Sitting both on her lap, he easily stood with her in his arms. Ash and Baal also stood and watched the two. Joshua only gave them a nod and then followed the wolves up to the truck.
Lana tried to keep the grin off her face as Joshua opened the door and set her on the seat. She watched her boys get into the back before Joshua leaned in to kiss her before he closed both doors. Glancing over at him as he got in and started the truck, a giggle escaped. “I appreciate that, but I can walk.”
Looking over as he pulled out of the parking lot, Joshua started laughing. “Yeah, I know you can, but it’s more fun that way.”
Throwing her bag on the floor and bending over to put her boots back on, she looked up and over at him, grinning. She wasn’t going to argue that one with him. She normally hated being picked up and carried, but this was one of those things she didn’t mind Joshua doing. Another thing she had to think about. Sitting back up, she turned to face him, bringing her legs up so her upper legs, knees, and part of her lower legs rested on the seat. Leaning her head against the back of the seat, she relaxed, thinking about their conversation at the beach. She didn’t want to as
k any more about his mom right now, thinking if he wanted to talk about his mom, his past, he’d tell her when he was ready.
Joshua smiled some. He’d noticed she hadn’t asked any other questions about his mom, nor had she asked about his past. That was something he loved about … though he didn’t quite finish the thought, he knew how it was going to end and he suddenly wondered where that thought came from. Remembering her reaction before they’d left the beach, he asked, “What was wrong?” This was a time he really wished the family didn’t feel that reading the mind of any other was a breach of privacy. He really wanted to see what she was thinking, see what was wrong.
Lana had just closed her eyes when he asked and without opening them, she said, after taking a minute to realize when he meant, “I felt like we were being watched, but not from the beach.” Opening her eyes, she looked down and rubbed her arms, suddenly cold. “I have a feeling Jeremy realizes I wasn’t home.” Raising her eyes to his face she saw his relaxed features become a look of worry, and what she thought was fear, for her. Although she would have liked to say she’d be ok, she couldn’t because she knew it would be a lie. She also knew he would see it for the lie it was. She sighed. “Hopefully he won’t follow us home.”
Very worried now since he had thought that had been the problem, he shook his head. “Nowhere for him to really hide there. Few cars go by so he’d be noticed easily.”
“True. Mahalo.” She saw him nod with a smile causing her to give a small smile. “What’d Rob say?”
Joshua was glad for the change in subject, even if only slight. At the moment he didn’t want to think about where Jeremy was or what the man was planning. “Hank called him saying he’d be there soon. He didn’t say if it was going to be just Hank or not.” Reaching to her, he grabbed her boot and pulled a leg across his lap, resting a hand just above her boot.
