“I’m sorry,” Lillie replied. “Is everything all right? How did you know I was here?”
“Process of elimination. Actually, I was worried, and I called Catherine.”
“I saw that you called, but I lost you before I could dig out my phone…then I had another call…then I picked up the kids, dinner and here we are. I didn’t mean to worry Donna.”
“That’s okay. She didn’t know. She’s resting.” Jon cleared his throat. “Sounds like you had a busy day.”
“That was just the last hour.”
“Catherine was right. You do work too hard.”
“Sounds like you two had quite the conversation.”
“It was good to talk to her.” Jon and Cat had always been close when he and Lillie were married.
Lillie looked in at Molly enjoying her birds and then slipped down the hallway, out of earshot from the children, to Donna’s bedroom. She seated herself on the cedar chest at the end of the bed before she added, “Well, anyway, how’s Donna holding up?”
“She’s doing really well, considering.”
“Considering?”
“It’s been a long couple of days for her.”
Lillie decided she’d had enough of beating around the bush. “So what did the team have to say? I’ve kept my fingers crossed all day.”
“That must have been difficult, with all you had going on,” Jon joked, trying to keep the conversation light and dreading the news he had to tell Lillie.
“Ha. Ha.”
“Well, they are willing to treat her.”
“But?”
“They say there are no guarantees. If the cancer responds to the treatment, there is a good chance of a five year remission.”
“Five years?”
“They don’t talk in terms of cures here. Five years seems to be the best you get.”
“I’m sure that is just doctor lingo for being careful of malpractice suits. There is probably a good chance of recovery.”
“Fifteen-percent.”
“Fifteen-percent? You said a good chance!”
“If the cancer responds to the treatment there is a good chance. There is a fifteen percent chance it will respond.”
“So treatment. What does that mean, chemotherapy?”
“Yes, they give her the chemotherapy and then wait and see. If the tumors shrink within a month or even remain the same, then they give her a treatment once a month for six months.”
“Will she have many side effects?”
“They say they can manage them with medication and keep her comfortable.”
“Well, that’s something anyway. We’ll be here to help, and Catherine will be glad to pitch in. I can speak with Sheila and make sure she can stay on. Maybe she can recommend a couple of backup helpers, too, if we need them. I—“
“Lillie, the treatments have to be done here.”
“In Minnesota? I guess she could go back and forth, but the trip will be kind of hard on her every month.”
“The type of treatment Mom needs is highly toxic. They have to give it to her slowly, over five days.”
“How does that work?”
“She checks into the clinic on Monday and finishes the treatment on Saturday morning.”
“Then we wait a month?”
“In three weeks there will be tests. If there is progress then we go another round. If there’s not, then we come home.”
The words hung between them but neither of them wanted to elaborate. “I hope that Sheila can stay. I can give her weekends off…”
“I’ve already spoken to her, but I’ve decided it would be best to move Mom and Molly here for the duration of the treatment.”
“What? I—have—What does Donna say about this?” She remembered the conversation she had with Donna just a few days before. “Donna agrees Molly should leave LaSalle?”
“Mom agrees that this is for the best.”
Lillie decided not to argue with Jon right now but asked, “Can you have Donna call me when she wakes up?”
“Sure. She should be awake soon. We haven’t had dinner yet.”
Lillie imagined she could nip this in the bud when Donna called her back, but asked anyway, “When were you planning to pick up Molly?”
“I’m taking Mom back to Whitetail after some last blood tests in the morning. After I get her settled, I’m hoping to get a quick flight out. That way, Molly and I can be back on Sunday afternoon and arrive in time to spend time with Grandma before she checks into the hospital the next morning.”
“So soon?” Lillie wandered from the bedroom into the living room. She sat in the armchair next to Molly and held her hand, while she watched her children munching their dinner. She couldn’t imagine her niece so far away. She would miss Molly like she’d miss her own children while they were gone.
“The sooner the better.”
“I agree she needs to see Donna before she leaves for the hospital for a week. Molly misses her so.”
“Mom misses her, too. They need to be together.”
“Sheila is flying out on Wednesday after she has a few days to recover from her sister’s wedding and will stay a month or so and train some replacements. Who knows, she might come to like the frozen north.”
“Molly is flying? I think we should consult Dr. Martin and see what he says.”
“I already did, and he said she was fine to travel, but we are going to be driving, preferably at night when she’s asleep. We need to bring Mom’s van back because we don’t have any way to transport Molly in her chair.”
“How is that going to happen,” Lillie asked. “Who is going with you?”
“I can take care of Molly.”
Lillie began a less than kind retort and then looked at the bird feeders. “I guess you can but I was thinking more about your bladder.”
“My bladder?”
“How are you going to go to the bathroom with an eleven year old sleeping in the car?”
“Oh. I’ll think of something. Maybe one of the guides can ride with me. Or you could come along,” he added.
“I can go with you.” Lillie nearly clapped her hand over her mouth. She couldn’t believe she had said that.
“That would be so great,” Jon paused. “But what about the kids? Can they come too?”
“They are going to D-I-S-N-E-Y with Rand and Catherine…”
Jonathan began to laugh, and it brought back so many happy times. In some ways he seemed just like the man she’d been married to for half of her adult life, and in ways, so different. The decisiveness and preparation he’d displayed in dealing with Molly and Donna’s illness helped her forget for a moment that he was the same man with whom she shared her history.
“Disney World?” Jonathan managed as he continued to chuckle. “Does she know they still have fairies and animals that speak?”
“That’s what I asked her…”
“Wow. They must really love being grandparents.”
“They do. It’s Grandparent’s Week and Cat’s publisher is leaning on her to have Catrina visit Florida.”
“When do they leave?”
“Saturday afternoon.”
“So I’ll fly in then as well…we can head out in the evening.”
Lillie and Jon agreed that he would pick her up at home, and they ended the call. She placed the phone back on the cradle and then, thinking better of it, brought it along with her to the kitchen.
* * *
Jon hung up the receiver of the payphone, strode back down the hall, and knocked softly on the door of his mother’s room. He stood with his ear nearly pressed against the door and heard a soft shuffle from the inside. In a moment, the door swung inward. She looked pale and exhausted but held the door open for him to enter.
“Mom, you look tired,” he frowned. “Did you get any rest?”
“I closed my eyes for a bit, but I couldn’t sleep.”
“I talked to Lillie. Molly is fine. She’s having dinner with Lillie and the kids tonig
ht.”
“It will make her happy to see Hope.” Donna said as she moved back to the bed and sat upright against the pillows. That child is special. She’s so in tune with Molly. They love each other so much. Lillie and the children are a big part of our lives, Jonathan,”
He looked down at his hands. He knew Lillie had stayed and taken care of his family, while he had run and it was still difficult for him to swallow. He was ashamed of how he’d acted so long ago and only wished he could go back and make different choices. “She’s coming with me to bring Molly to Whitetail.”
Donna’s face displayed her astonishment.
“Does that surprise you?” asked her son.
“Well, yes and no.”
“She said the kids were going on a trip with Cat and Rand, and she was free for a few days. I think she wants to see for herself you and Molly are going to be okay.”
“It will be so nice to see her.”
“You never said Lillie had children.”
“You never asked, love, and I was afraid to mention it.”
“Afraid?”
“I scarcely heard from you that first year you were gone. I was afraid you’d be hurt to know she adopted when she wouldn’t hear of it before.”
“I wonder what made her change her mind. She must know…”
“About the geneticist report? I don’t think so.”
“Then why did she adopt? Why didn’t she find someone who could make a baby with her? It’s what she wanted…what I wanted for her.” Jon wished, for a moment, he was a little boy again and could bury his head in his mother’s lap while she smoothed his hair and told him everything would be okay. Instead, Jon sighed and sank to the edge of the second double bed.
“Maybe it took losing everything to see what was most important.”
“I know that’s true for me.” Jon felt a flutter of hope in his chest. He was no longer a child. His mom couldn’t fix what hurt him, but maybe, if he was lucky, he could fix it on his own. “Do you think I should tell her?”
“I think neither one of you will have peace until you do.”
* * *
Soon the children were finished with their dinner and settled in the great room with Molly. Lillie went to the hall closet and took out the box of crayons and coloring books Donna kept for them. When the children were occupied, she perched on a stool at the bar overlooking the living area and dialed a familiar number. Cassie answered on the fourth ring, and Lillie muttered, “Cassie, Cassie, Cassie,” in lieu of a greeting.
“Lillie, Lillie, Lillie,” she answered in kind.
“What, what, what am I gonna do!”
“Why, why, why are we repeating everything three times?”
“I don’t know,” Lillie said with her head in her hand.
“Okay then, what’s the matter?”
“I’m going to Minnesota with Jonathan on Saturday.”
“Zoe, please open the bathroom door. Your brother is going to go in his pants,” Cassie directed her brood. After a moment, Cassie’s brain caught up and said, “Run that by me again?”
Lillie tried to explain, but someone, Tucker she assumed, was kicking the door and Zoe, the oldest and only girl, was yelling from the muffled sound of it, from inside the room. The door must have opened because the loud banging stopped for a moment. Then Lillie heard a slam and the banging resumed. Lillie realized that Cassie must have locked herself in the bathroom in order to hear better.
“Doesn’t Tucker need in there?”
“Oh, right. Hold on while I get out of here and go to my room.”
Lillie waited though several bangs and clangs. Within a few moments, she heard a door shut, and her friend come back on the line. “I’m sorry. It’s crazy around here tonight. Ben’s at a church meeting. The children perfect divide and conquer when we’re here. When I’m one man down and they don’t have to worry about the divide part, the conquering is swift and unmerciful.”
Lillie chuckled, and, before she could comment, Cassie asked, “What is going on?”
“I’m going to Minnesota with Jonathan.”
“At gunpoint?” she said in jest, but then got serious. “Is Donna okay?”
“She’s fine, but she’ll be there for a while.” Lillie told her friend about the doctor’s findings and the plans made for Molly.
“And you are going to drive all the way with Jon?”
“And Molly. It’s really the only way. They can’t function for long without the retrofitted van. It’s not safe or comfortable for Molly to be moved in and out of her chair that much.”
“What about the kids? Do you want us to keep them?”
“Thanks, but no. We made plans for Cat and Rand to take them…just this afternoon before Jon even called,” and she went on to explain the unexpected trip.
“Well, that was convenient.”
“Yes,” Lillie frowned as she realized for the first time. “It was.”
“A little too convenient?”
“That’s what I was just thinking.”
Cassie was laughing as she hung up the phone, but managed to add, “Have a good trip!”
Chapter Fifteen
Lillie exhausted her supply of newspapers and rose from the floor of her bedroom to look for more. She’d tucked her children into their beds within a half an hour of their scheduled bedtimes and was elbow deep in bubble wrap and Styrofoam peanuts by nine o’clock.
On her way to the kitchen to raid the recycling bin for more packing materials, she paused to check on the children. Even with their nightlights blazing, she had to wait for a moment to allow her eyes time to adjust to the dimness.
Alex slept, sprawled on this back in restful abandon, head nearly falling off his small toddler train bed, mouth open and emitting a tiny snorkel as he breathed. She carefully adjusted his blankets and attempted to move his head back on the bed. The movement caused him to stir, and she froze.
Thankful she’d dodged a bullet and he’d stayed asleep, Lillie moved across the room to kiss her daughter. When she bent low she thought she saw Hope’s eyelashes flicker in the dim light and when her lips touched her cheek, it was damp. Her heart lurched when she heard her baby sniff back a sob.
Hope’s tender heart worried about everything from world hunger and global warming to Molly’s health and the fate of Sumatran tigers. Sensitive as they came, she felt other’s pain as keenly, or even more so, than her own. Lillie knew the pending move would not be easy for her.
Unable to bear the thought of her daughter lying alone and sad in the dark, Lillie broke the cardinal rule of mothers everywhere and gathered her baby into her arms. She held her close and kissed the side of her face on the way to the master bedroom.
The packing could wait. She only had to box up her personal items. Cat and Rand had surprised her with a gift certificate for a moving company. She closed on the new house yesterday and tomorrow she and the children would go their separate ways. They’d return to a different house, all of their possessions magically transported in their absence.
Lillie sat down on her own bed and snuggled Hope close to her side. Hope held her blanket close to her cheek as she had when she was an infant and still did from time to time if she was upset. In many ways, her daughter was growing up and it was easy to forget there was still a little girl inside who needed some extra reassurance.
“What is it, my darling?” Lillie said in a soothing voice. "Tell Momma why you’re sad.”
“Do houses have feelings, Momma?” Hope snuggled even deeper into Lillie’s side.
“Well, houses have good feelings, like ours. Sometimes I think the empty houses I show people seem very lonely. Sometimes houses need repair and leave people with feelings they would need a lot of work.”
“No, I mean, when we move to a new house, will this house’s feelings be hurt?”
“Oh my sweet baby.” Lillie smiled and pulled her daughter even tighter to her side, “You’re worried about our house being sad and missing us?” Hope nodded her
head and waited for her mother to answer.
“Honey, our house will have a very nice new family soon. They’re just staring out, and they need a good house like this.”
“Okay.” She hesitated, and Lillie knew there was more bothering her tonight.
“Is there something else you wanted to talk about?” Lillie prompted.
“Well, what about Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny? Will they know how to find us? And what about the fireplace there? It has logs in it all of the time, and I just don’t see how Santa is gonna be able to fit, especially with all of the presents…”
Lillie patiently listened and answered each question her daughter posed. Hope felt better after a little spoiling and a little ice cream. She wasn’t sure which had helped the most, but the combination of the two seemed to have done the trick.
With Hope still perched on her mother’s bed, Lillie bent and resumed packing her cedar chest with the newspapers they’d retrieved with the ice cream. They chatted and Hope read aloud from some of the picture books Lillie had unearthed from the chest. Between helping Hope sound out words she didn’t know, Lillie actually made some headway. Before long, she could see the bottom of the cedar-lined compartment. Lillie gathered the rest of the items and placed them on the bed before closing the lid.
Hope set her book aside and reached for a large, framed photograph. Hope looked at her quizzically and handed the frame to her mother. “Mommy, is that you?” she asked, a confused look on her face.
Lillie took the frame from her daughter and pulled it to her chest to hide the picture. Her first instinct was to bury it in newspaper, try to evade the question and lie blatantly if need be. Nevertheless, Lillie decided to be honest with her daughter.
In the days before her first adoption, she had read copiously, every book on adoption and single parenting she could get her hands on. There were many different views represented, but they all agreed on one thing: a child who joined your family through adoption shouldn’t remember learning about their adoption for the first time. They should grow up hearing the story of how you found them and the circumstances of their birth. To do less was considered unhealthy emotionally for the children, should they ever find out the facts surrounding their birth in the future. Gone were the days these facts were hidden and not talked about. They celebrated the days her children entered her family much like birthdays with a special dinner and a book or small gift she had purchased while she’d been in Russia.
Coming Home Page 14
