by J. A. Howell
After a long, heated kiss, his lips pulled away from mine and we stared into each other’s eyes. Giddiness replaced with nervousness in the quiet of his apartment. I felt a small wave of panic rise within me as I watched Nolan take off his jacket and toss it over the couch. I knew this wouldn't be like last time, I knew it wouldn't be anything like it was with Jackson, but I still felt myself hesitating. Nolan seemed intuitive as he stepped toward me. His eyes softened though his want was still evident. His lips pulled at mine with a tenderness that made me yearn for him. Whatever fears or inhibitions clouded my mind, there was something about Nolan that wiped them away whenever he was near me. How could I have ever thought he was some sort of killer? He had never done anything to even hint to something so sadistic in his nature. Quite the opposite. He cared for me when I had injured myself. He comforted me after I found Alannah. Even now, he was restraining his desires for my sake.
“We don't have ta if this is too fast fer ya.” Nolan said in a low husky voice as his palm cradled my cheek. I nodded as I placed his hand on the zipper of my jacket, and pressed my mouth to his once more. He smiled against my lips as his fingers pulled down the zipper and he moved closer to me. I shrugged off my jacket, discarding it on the floor as his arms wrapped around my waist and his mouth found its way back to my neck. His stubble scraping against my skin sent a shiver of pleasure down my spine and his hands slid over my backside, squeezing it firmly as he pressed his hips into mine.
“I can’t stop thinking about ya,” Nolan's voice came out in a ragged groan as his eyes met mine, “I want ya, Harley. So bad.” I felt heat rush through me with his words, my own breath caught as I lost myself in his intoxicating gaze.
“I want you too.” The words left my lips before I could stop them and Nolan's whole body shuddered in response. His lips returned to mine as he pulled my body hard against his. He let out another throaty sigh, his tongue brushing against mine with increased need as he backed me towards the darkened bedroom, barely illuminated by the light from the living room.
Nolan's arms hoisted me up and laid me on the bed as he moved over me. His fingers grabbed the bottom of my sweater and slid it up as his mouth followed, trailing up my abdomen with hot breaths. As I pulled the sweater up over my head, he quickly discarded his own shirt before his body returned to mine. I shivered at the feeling of his warm skin on mine and ran my fingers through his hair as he lightly bit my neck.
“Harley,” his voice was gruff with desire as his hand slid between my thighs. I moaned against his lips and moved with his touch as I found my hands pulling at the zipper of his jeans. Our kisses grew more frenzied as we both lost ourselves in the feel and the taste of each other’s lips. Chocolate and Irish cream. I shuddered.
After several minutes, Nolan’s lips pulled away from mine and his teeth dragged over my collarbone. He moved down on the bed, tugging my jeans from my hips and throwing them to the floor with the rest of our clothes before removing his own. I could hear his heavy breaths and I relaxed my thighs as I watched his darkened form move over me.
His mouth muffled my cry of pleasure as he slid into me. My whole body tingled, overwhelmed with the sensation as Nolan moved within me in a slow, tender rhythm. I twisted my fingers into his hair, lifting my hips to his as I caught his bottom lip between my teeth. Even in the dark, his blue eyes burned into mine as he thrust himself inside me. I moaned, urging him deeper. My fingers grasped at his toned back and pulled him into me. Nothing else in the world mattered at that moment, nothing except the feeling of his body with mine. I wanted to only feel this. I wanted to be completely possessed by it.
“Oh god, Harley,” Nolan's voice was raw as he sat up and pulled me into his lap. I cried out as his thrusts grew harder, faster, and unrestrained beneath me. I pressed my forehead to his as my legs wrapped around him, our heavy breaths echoing together as I felt myself nearing release.
A thunderous moan echoed as my muscles tightened around him, and with a loud groan Nolan collapsed on top of me. He held me in his arms as his body shuddered against my writhing form, both of us panting as our heartbeats slowly returned to a normal pace. After several minutes, Nolan slid to my side, his lips softly kissing my shoulder as he watched me, a grin spreading to the corners of his eyes.
“Christ, ya have no idea what ya do ta me.” He kissed my lips and pulled me to him. I smiled at him as we lay in the darkened room, still warmed in the hazy afterglow as I lowered my head against his chest. Other thoughts tried to creep their way back into my mind, but I refused to let them in. Not yet. I felt safe, happy, for the first time in a very long time. I closed my eyes, letting the rhythmic beat within Nolan's chest lull me to sleep as his fingertips gently trailed up and down my back. This was how things were supposed to be. If only they could stay that way.
CHAPTER THIRTY ONE
A Missed Breakfast
I awoke to the feeling of hot breath and stubble trailing across my abdomen the next morning. A grin crossed my lips as I stretched against the fluffy down pillow under my head and leisurely opened my eyes.
“Good mornin’, beautiful.” Nolan’s smiling Irish eyes greeted mine with a content stare, his words tickling my skin.
“Good morning,” I reached down, running my fingers through his unruly curls as I sat up on my elbows. A few stray tendrils rolled into his eyes as he left a trail of light kisses down to my belly button. I let out a giggle as his stubble tickled my skin. “Cut that out!”
I squirmed beneath him but he continued, laughing as he purposefully dragged his stubbled chin against me. I attempted to wriggle away, my cheeks sore from laughter when he suddenly stopped. His hand grabbed my hip as I was squirming, his finger tracing over a light pink scar.
“Harley? What happened? That wasn’t from the other night too, was it?” His forehead pressed with concern as his finger delicately ran over several other older scars.
“No. No, those were from my ex.” I spoke softly, averting my eyes. As distant as I felt from that part of my life right now, those marks reminded me just how recent those events actually were. The mere thought of Jackson twisted my stomach in a painful knot. Nolan let out a breath, watching me as I returned my attention to him.
“Why would he do something like that?” Nolan asked in more of a rhetorical question. He sat up and pulled the covers down further, finally seeing fully the extent of Jackson’s abuse. It was dark when we made our way in here last night, but with the morning light peering in, the cuts, the scars, and a few lingering bruises – everything was in full view. I didn’t attempt to cover it up any more. There was no point.
“Jackson was upset with me,” I paused, cringing as I said his name and taking in a deep breath. I could feel the anger and pain rising to the surface. Nolan watched me, his jaw clenching tightly as he listened. “His friend Mikael, had tried to force himself on me one night, and Jackson caught him as I was trying to fight him off. He’d pulled Mikael off of me and told me to wait in the car. I thought he had saved me from something horrible. But when we got home I realized what was waiting for me there was much worse. He told me he wanted to remind me that I was his and nobody else's.” I shuddered. I hadn’t told anyone else what had happened. Keeping it to myself seemed to make it less real, less painful. I had been able to keep from really thinking about it, until that moment. Nolan didn’t say anything for several minutes until finally I placed a hand over his. His eyes lifted to mine, sadness nestled deep within.
“That’s when you came here, wasn’t it?” His voice was low as he spoke, his smile long faded from his lips.
“Yea, it was.” A solid lump rose in my throat as the harsh memories forced themselves to the surface. I winced, remembering the pain as his boot slammed into my ribs, my hips, my back. How could someone tell you they love you with one breath then try to destroy you with the next? How could someone take something that was supposed to be an act of love and turn it into one of terror and violence?
“Hey, don’t let yer mind go bac
k there, Harley.” Nolan’s voice spoke in my ear as he slid next to me and cradled me to his chest. I buried my face against his warm, soapy smelling skin, the soft thud of his heart soothing me. “I swear on all that is holy I could never hurt ya like that.” He whispered with a gentle squeeze. “Him on the other hand,” Nolan’s face scowled as I looked up at him. “Well, if I ever meet him, that day will surely be his last.”
“Shhh,” I reached a hand up, twisted my fingers into his curls, and pulled his lips down to mine. “Let’s not even think about him anymore. There are much better things we can distract ourselves with.” Nolan nodded, letting his lips brush against mine as those lucid blue eyes stared down at me, enveloping me in a warm haze that made the pain drift from my mind. A hand trailed down my bare back and over my thigh as his lips explored and consumed my own. Nolan shifted around, laying me back down against the pillow as our legs intertwined under the blankets. He sat himself up on his hands as he gently slid on top of me, letting his eyes slowly drift down my naked form.
“Yer right,” he said between kisses, “there are much better, much more beautiful things ta distract ourselves with.”
It was closing in on noon by the time Nolan and I managed to untangle ourselves from each other. I reached over the side of the bed and grabbed my sweater from the pile of discarded clothing before slipping out from under the sheets. Nolan watched me, a pout forming over his lips.
“Where are ya off ta in such a rush?” He reached a hand out and grasped the back pocket of my jeans.
“Nolan!” I yelped as I fell back down to the bed. “You scheduled me to open this morning. I don't want to get down there late.”
“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow, moving over me with a devious grin, “I doubt yer boss will fire ya if yer a few minutes late. Why don't ya come take a nice warm shower with me? I'll talk ta him fer ya.” I laughed as his mouth moved to my collarbone and his fingers tugged at my bra strap, but I managed to wriggle out of his grasp.
“It's not my boss that I'm worried about.” I attempted to quiet my laughter as it registered on his face just who I was worried about.
“Crap, she does work this morning, doesn't she?” He sat up, frowning. It wasn't like we were all that subtle making our entrance the night before, but neither of us wanted to face an interrogation about our whereabouts and activities. “Ya've got about ten minutes till she usually comes over. There are extra work shirts in my office if ya want ta run down and grab one fer yerself.” Nolan called after me as I fetched my jeans from the floor. After a quick splash of water on my face and hastily combing my fingers through my hair, I headed for the door.
“I'll see you downstairs in a bit.” I gave him a lingering kiss on the lips as he leaned against the door frame in nothing but a smirk. Ugh, why did Aggie have to work this morning?
“Ya better get down there before she does,” He winked, giving my bottom a playful pat before turning for the shower.
I crept down the stairs, listening carefully for any noise in the kitchen. After another minute of silence, I opened the door just a sliver. Once I was sure I was alone, I made a dash for Nolan's office. Pulling open the storage cabinet that stood in the corner, I found a stack of shirt's with “Finley's” on them and grabbed one in my size before slipping my sweater off. Just as I was buttoning the last few bottom buttons I heard footsteps behind me.
“Forget your uniform?” Aggie's voice mused teasingly behind me. I turned around, tugging the bottom of the shirt to straighten it out before I looked up at her.
“Oh, no. I accidentally tore a hole in the other one while I was cleaning earlier.” I let out a laugh, hoping it didn't sound too phony. Aggie's lips only pulled tighter together as she folded her arms in front of her.
“Is that so?” There was a challenging look in her eyes that told me I was probably not winning this round, but being stubborn, I refused to divulge the truth.
“Yes. Got caught on that pointy part of the bar.” I held my composure. “Nolan should really get that fixed. Someone could cut themselves on it, you know?”
“Right.” Aggie's eyebrow popped up as she watched me then surveyed the room. “You and Nolan must think I'm dense.”
“Aggie, I don't know what you are insinuating.” I laughed and attempted to squeeze past her as she stood in the doorway.
“First off, where is your jacket? You would have frozen your arse off coming to work without your jacket. For that matter, your bag isn't hanging up in its usual spot either.”
“I–”
“Wait, that's not the only thing amiss here, woman.” Aggie held up a finger, turning in a circle as she looked around the room once more. “You know what else is missing?”
“No.” I frowned at her as she did a CSI-level investigation of the pub's kitchen. A pleased grin grew on her lips at my answer.
“Of course not. To the untrained eye, it would appear to be a normal opening shift here at Finley's, except for one crucial detail.”
“And that would be?”
“Nolan Finley has not yet made himself breakfast.”
“What does that have to do with anything? He probably had breakfast upstairs.” I could already feel my cheeks burning but still maintained unwavering features.
“Ah, ah, ah!” She held her finger up higher. “In the last six years since Nolan has taken over the pub from his father, do you know where he has eaten breakfast nearly every day?”
“Here?” Now that I actually thought about it, every morning I had worked, he had been down here eating breakfast.
“In those six years, very few things have kept him from breakfast,” Aggie watched me with a smug look. “So, care to change your story, Harley?”
“Nope.” I forced myself not to smile at the thought of what had kept Nolan from his ritualistic breakfast.
“Well, it's not like the whole kitchen didn't hear you two going upstairs last night. Eli told us as soon as he saw you two make a run for it.”
“We were just kissing.” I spat out as I turned around, though my marooned features probably said otherwise.
“Uncle said he heard Nolan let out a growl,” Aggie giggled, “told me 'Maybe he's no’ such a sissy boy after all!'“
“Nothing happ –”
“Like I said, it takes A LOT, to keep Nolan in bed this late.” Aggie grabbed her own apron and tied it around her waist, a triumphant bounce in her step as she waltzed across the kitchen toward the front. As if on cue, Nolan came gliding through the staircase door with the biggest grin I'd ever seen. What a buffoon.
“Mornin’ Aggie.” He greeted her. She took one look from him to me then turned on her heels.
“Hmmph. I rest my case.”
CHAPTER THIRTY TWO
False Calm
The rest of my day carried on in a similar fashion. Every time I saw Aggie, she gave me a knowing grin and my cheeks would flush. It was beginning to feel like high school, but I couldn’t say I didn't find it amusing. Nolan and I hadn't gotten much time to talk since we'd opened. The second day of the festival drew more people to Finley's as concert-goers wandered in after their favorite bands had played. Aggie, myself, and the other servers had been keeping ourselves busy and our pockets full of tips. The pub was becoming rather crowded.
“Does it always get like this?” I finally asked Aggie as I took a breather and leaned with my back to the bar as she dumped various liquors into a mixer.
“Every year.” She smiled as she slapped the metal cover on and shook the concoction. “This night is the busiest. That's why Nolan and I usually go to MidFest the first night.”
“Oh.” I nodded, looking into the kitchen. I could feel her giving me that look again. I caught a glimpse of Nolan sitting in his office and smiled. He looked up and smiled back before returning to his work.
“Harley, you might as well admit it.” She laughed. “It couldn't be more obvious if Nolan was whistling and clicking his heels together. And then there is you and that face you keep making.”
“What face?” I turned my head to her. She sighed then made a dreamy expression, batting her eyelashes like little butterfly wings.
“I was not making a face like that, Aggie.”
“No? I wouldn’t have been surprised if you burst into a musical number and little cartoon birdies flew in to accompany you.” Both of us burst into a fit of laughter at the thought and she nearly lost her grip on the shaker.
“So maybe we did more than kiss.” I held my side, attempting to calm the laughter that threatened to resurface.
“Now then, that wasn’t so difficult to admit, was it?” She asked as she poured the drink into a martini glass. “Honestly, Harley, I didn’t take you to be such a prude.”
“Oh, shut it.” I giggled and turned around to help her with the growing crowd. “What can I get for you, sir –”
My words lodged themselves in my throat as I stared up at the tall, blonde-haired man standing at the bar. His light brown eyes watched me with a predatory gaze, and his lips pulled into a taunting grin as he fixed the turned up collar of his coat.
“Good evening, Harley. Make it a scotch on the rocks.”
“Aggie, I’ll be right back.” I stumbled backwards, not waiting for her to answer as I shoved the kitchen door open. Nolan stood, coming out of his office as I strode toward the back door.
“Harley, is everything okay?”
“Yes, I’m just feeling a bit sick. I think I need some fresh air. I’ll be back in a minute.” I assured him. He nodded, watching me as I pushed open the back door and stepped outside.
What the hell was Mikael doing here? Had Jackson sent him? Had he been watching me last night?
I could feel bile burning at the back of my throat as I tried to calm the frantic beating in my chest. After a few minutes, my pulse seemed to slow, and the initial panic I had felt quieted though the nausea still lingered. Maybe if I hid in the back for a bit, he would leave and I could go about my evening like nothing had happened. After thinking over my plan, I turned back towards the door, gripping the handle before a familiar hand closed over mine.
