“‘What sort of job is it?” I asked, “and how long will it take?”
“It’s to carry a case from Mansell Street to Byleses Wharf. Take yer about ’arf a hour.”
“Very well,” said I. “Five shillings is agreed upon, is it?”
“Five bob it is; to be paid on delivery. You cut along to Mansell Street, right ’and side next door to the ’bacca shop what’s got the image of a nigger outside. I’ll just mizzle on ahead and tell ’em you’re coming.”
He turned and left the yard at a much more sprightly pace than that at which he had entered, and immediately vanished from my sight. But he evidently discharged his mission, for, when I arrived at the house indicated, a seedy-looking man accosted me.
“Are you the bloke what’s come for that case of eggs?”
“I’ve come for a case that’s to go to Byles Wharf,” I replied.
“That’s right,” said he. “And mind you’re careful with that there case. J’ever hear about Humpty Dumpty what sat on a wall?”
I replied that I was quite familiar with the legend.
“Very well,” said he. “There’s two thousand of ’em in that case, so you go slow and don’t get a-joltin’ ’em. We don’t want ’em made into omlicks before their time. Now then; just hold that truck steady.”
As he spoke, two men came out of the house carrying a large, oblong case on the top side, of which was pasted an enormous label inscribed, “Fragile. This side up.” I steadied the truck by its pole and they slid the case into position with extraordinary care while the seedy person stood by to superintend and admonish. Having settled it securely, they wiped their hands on the backs of their trousers and retired into the house, when the seedy one administered a final caution.
“Remember what I told yer, young covey. Don’t you go a-gallopin’ that there case over the cobbles or a-bangin’ it aginst lamp-posts, and you’d best take the back ways so as not to get run into by fire-ingines or sechlike. D’ye ogle?”
I assured him that I ogled perfectly and he then requested me to skedaddlle; which I did with the air and at the pace of one conducting a modest funeral.
But my circumspect manner and elaborate care seemed only to invite assaults from without. In Upper East Smithfield a van, attempting to pass me at a wobbling canter, caught the corner of the precious case a bang that was enough to have turned the whole consignment into “omlicks,” and any that remained whole were like to have been addled by the van-driver’s comments. Then in Pennington Street a man came running round a corner with a barrowful of empty casks; and I only escaped being capsized by turning quickly and receiving the impact of the collision on the back of the case. And, finally, an intoxicated Swedish seaman insisted on accompanying me down nearly the entire length of Old Gravel Lane, performing warlike music on the end of the case with a ship-wright’s mallet.
As I turned into the gateway of Byles Wharf I looked anxiously at my charge, rather expecting to find some oozing of yellow liquid from its joints. But no such traces of its stormy passage were visible and I ventured to hope that the packing was better than I had been led to believe. Just inside the yard I encountered, somewhat to my surprise, the seedy stranger of Mansell Street, with another even seedier.
“Here you are then, young covey,” said the former. “I hope you’ve been careful with them eggs.”
I assured him that I had been most careful but I did not think it necessary to mention that some other people had not. After all, you can’t mend eggs, so the less said the better.
“Very well,” said he; “you stay here a minute while I go and see if they’re ready.”
The two men went away and disappeared round the corner of a shed, leaving me holding the pole of the truck. Now the act of standing still and holding the pole of a truck soon becomes monotonous, especially to a youth of seventeen. Half unconsciously I began, presently, to vary the monotony by working the pole up and down like a pump-handle. That couldn’t hurt the eggs, and it produced a measured creak of the truck-springs that was interesting and pleasing.
Suddenly there smote on my ear a hoarse and muffled voice, which exclaimed fiercely: “Keep still, can’t yer!”
I stopped instantly and looked around me. I had not noticed anyone near, and I didn’t see anyone now. Could there be a ventriloquist hiding somewhere in the yard? The idea set my youthful curiosity aflame. I couldn’t see him. But perhaps I could induce him to speak again and then I might locate the sound.
I renewed my application to the pump-handle with increased vigour, and the truck-springs squeaked joyously. The experiment was a perfect success. At the fourth or fifth squeak a savage but muffled voice exclaimed, rather louder than before: “Keep still, I tell yer, yer young blighter!”
The mystery was solved. There was no doubt this time as to where the voice came from. It came from inside the case. Eggs indeed! And then I thought of the Swedish sailor and I am afraid I grinned.
The joy of a youth of my age at this romantic discovery may easily be imagined. Instantly my mind began to evolve speculations as to the identity of the imprisoned man. He seemed to take his incarceration in a philosophic spirit, though the Swedish mariner must have been a trial, to say nothing of the other incidents. But at this point my reflections were cut short by the reappearance of the two seedy strangers.
“Now, young shaver,” said my original employer; “bring them eggs along this way.”
He preceded me round the corner to the quay, alongside of which lay a barge with a hoisting tackle rigged from the end of a mast-derrick. There I was directed to halt and my two friends proceeded to lift the case tenderly out of the truck.
“Now you can mizzle,” said the seedier of the two.
“I want my five shillings,” said I.
The man put his hand in his pocket and produced a half-crown, which he presented to me. I examined it critically and held it out to him.
“This is no use,” I said. “It’s pewter. Besides, I was to have five shillings.”
He was about to argue the point when the other man broke in impatiently: “Don’t play the goat, Jim. Give the cove his dibs,” on which the first man produced—from another pocket—five shillings of undoubtedly official origin. I pocketed them after careful scrutiny and offered him the “snide” half-crown. But he waved it aside magnanimously.
“You can keep that,” said he. “’T’ain’t no good to me if it’s a wrong ’un. And now you can cut your lucky.”
My “lucky” took me about a dozen yards along the quay, where I drew up behind a pile of bales to watch the progress of this stirring drama. The barge’s tackle-rope had a sling hooked on the end, and this was now carefully passed round the case. The fall of the rope was put on the mast-winch, and, when all was ready, the word was given to “heave away.” The men at the winch according hove away. The pawls clinked merrily, the rope tightened, the case rose clear of the ground and swung out like the bob of an enormous pendulum.
And then came the disaster. The barge was secured to two mooring-posts and was about ten feet away from the quay, so that the derrick had to be hauled over by guy-ropes. But the case had not been properly balanced in the sling; and no sooner had it swung clear of the edge of the quay than it began to slip through the rope loop.
“Look alive!” roared someone on the quay. “She’s a-slippin’!”
One of the men left the winch and rushed for the guy-rope. But it was too late. Slowly, inexorably, the case slid through the loop and fell with a resounding plop! into the water.
An agonised yell arose from the quay and a furious stampede among the onlookers. The bargees snatched up boat-hooks and setting-poles and scrambled along the deck. But, alas! A swift tide was running, and the case, gyrating and dancing like a cork in a mill race, was out of reach before the first boat-hook could be got over the side.
A barge’s dinghy was made fast at the foot of a ladder hard by. Abandoning the truck, I slithered down the ladder, closely followed by a barge-boy, an
d we met in the boat with mutual recriminations. But there was no time to argue. The boy cast off the painter, and snatching up the paddle, dropped it in the transom-notch and began to scull furiously down stream. Ahead of us, we could see the case dancing along on the tide, turning round and round, vanishing and reappearing among the tiers of shipping. Presently, too, I saw another boat start in pursuit and recognised my two friends among its occupants.
But the case had got a flying start and pursuit was difficult among the crowded shipping. We were beginning to overhaul it when it disappeared behind a cargo steamer, and when we next saw it, it had been neatly snared by a couple of ropes and was being hoisted by hand through the gangway of a little Welsh schooner that was just hauling out of the tiers. The barge-boy and I approached the schooner on the off shore side and climbed on board unnoticed; for the other boat, containing my seedy acquaintances had just arrived on the in-shore side. My employer proceeded to state his claim. “Hi, Captain! That there’s my case.”
The captain leaned over the bulwark and regarded him with an affable smile.
“D’y’ear,” my friend repeated. “That case belongs to me.”
The captain’s smile broadened. “Belonged,” he corrected blandly.
“What d’yer mean?” demanded the seedy one. “You ain’t going to try to stick to my property?”
The captain maintained his affable manner. “This is a case of salvage,” said he.
“Git out,” rejoined the other. “It’s a case of eggs; and they’re my eggs.”
“Did you lay ’em yourself?” enquired the captain (a good deal nearer the mark than he thought). The question seemed to irritate my seedy friend, for he replied angrily: “Never you mind ’oo laid ’em. You just hand that case over.”
At this moment there came a diversion. One of the sailors, who had been closely examining the case as it lay dribbling on the deck, suddenly started back, like a cat who has inadvertently smelt a hedgehog.
“Golly wores!” he exclaimed. “There’s some-think alive inside!”
“Hey! what’s that?” demanded the captain.
“There is, sir, swelp me! I ’eard it a-movin’ about.”
The captain looked sharply over the bulwark. “Here you, mister!” he sang out, “you haven’t been sitting on those eggs, have you?”
“Sittin’ on ’em? What d’yer mean?”
“Because they seem to have hatched themselves and the chickens are running about inside the case.”
“Yes, and they’re usin’ the most shockin’ langwidge, too,” said an elderly seaman who had been pressing his ear to a crack in the case.
This report, reaching the occupants of the boat, caused very evident dismay. But my late employer made a last effort.
“Don’t talk nonsense,” he said, sulkily. “Pass that case over and I’ll pay what’s doo for salvage in reason.”
“Not me,” replied the captain. “I’m goin’ to broach that case and see what’s inside.”
The effect of this decision was rather curious. The men in the boat consulted together hurriedly; then their craft was turned about and rowed away rapidly in the direction whence they had come.
Meanwhile the captain and his myrmidons proceeded to operate on the case. Producing one or two small crowbars, they neatly prised up the lid and threw it back; when there rose from the case, some what after the fashion of the obsolete toy known as “Jack-in-the-box,” no less a person than the man who had originally chartered my truck. He stepped out sullenly and confronting the group of grinning seamen, remarked, in, perhaps justifiably, emphatic terms, that he had had enough of that mode of travelling for the present.
The captain looked at him attentively, and he looked at the captain; and then ensued a whispered conversation between them, which was interrupted by one of the crew remarking:
“Looks like the police boat, don’t it?”
The passenger turned and stared wildly in the direction indicated. A police gig was approaching slowly but doggedly over the strong tide; and besides the amphibious officials were two men in civilian garb who sat in the stern-sheets and kept their eyes ominously glued on the schooner.
The passenger bobbed down behind the high bulwark and gazed about him despairingly; and suddenly his eye lighted on me.
“Here, boy,” he said, “get into that case.”
“No thank you,” said I.
He dived his hand frantically into his pocket and brought it out with a shining, yellow burden that clinked musically.
“Here, boy,” he pleaded. “Here’s five quid for you if you’ll get into that case and let ’em nail it up.”
Five sovereigns! It was a fortune to a lad in my position. And there really was no particular risk. I examined the coins—I was a fairly expert judge of money from my occupation, which often included “payment on delivery”—and found them genuine; and I succumbed. Stowing the money in an inside pocket, I stepped into the case and hunched myself up so as to occupy comfortably the rather limited accommodation.
“Don’t you drop the case into the water again!” I said.
“Right-o, Sonny!” the captain answered. “We’ll handle you carefully. Now there, look sharp!”
The lid was clapped on, a few smart but not noisy blows of a hammer drove home the nails, and I began to earn my magnificent wage. The interior of the case was unpleasantly damp and stuffy, though a sufficiency of air and a few streaks of light came through the chinks of the lid. Sounds from without also reached me freely and consisted, for the present, chiefly of suppressed laughter from the sailors and admonitions from the captain.
“Stow that chap down in the lazarette, Fred,” said the latter; “and you men, don’t stand about laughing like a lot o’ fools. Get that tow-rope ready for the tug. Here comes the police boat.”
There was a pause after this with some scuffling about the deck and a good deal of sniggering. Then I heard a sharp, official voice. “What’s this case, Captain?”
“I don’t know,” was the reply. “Belongs to those men that you see running up them steps. They hooked it when they saw your boat coming.”
“That’s Jim Trout,” said another voice; “and Tommy Bayste with him. What’s in the case, Captain?”
“Can’t say. Seems to be something alive in it.”
“There!” said the first official. “What did I tell you, Smith. It’s Powis right enough. We’d better get him out of the case and clap the darbies on him.”
“Not on my ship, you won’t,” said the captain. “I can’t have any criminals let loose here just as I’m hauling out to go to sea. You’d better take the case ashore and open it there.”
“Gad!” exclaimed Smith; “the Captain’s right, Sergeant. We’d better drop the case into the boat and take it ashore. Powis is an ugly customer to handle. He might capsize us all into the river.”
“That’s true,” agreed the sergeant. “We’ll take him as he is if the Captain will have the case let down into our boat.”
The captain was most willing for certain private reasons not entirely unconnected with the lazarette. I heard and felt a rope sling passed round the case and my heart was brought into my mouth by the squeal of tackle-blocks. For a few seconds the case swung horribly in mid-air; then, to my unspeakable relief, I felt it subside on to the floor of the boat.
A good deal of laughter and facetious talk mingled with the measured sound of the oars as I was borne away. Suddenly the sergeant laughed out boisterously like a man who has had a funny idea. And apparently he had.
“I’ll tell you what, Smith,” he chuckled; “we won’t open the case till we get to Holloway. We’ll take it right into the reception ward. Ha! Ha!”
The joke was highly appreciated by Mr. Smith and his colleagues—a good deal more than it was by me; for I had had enough of my quarters already—and they were still in full enjoyment of it when another voice sang out: “Keep clear of that tug, West. She’ll be right on top of us. Hi! Tug ahoy! Look out! Where the dev—�
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Here there came an alarming bump and a confused chorus of shouts arose. The case canted over sharply, there was a fearful splash, and immediately, to my horror, water began to ooze in through the cracks between the boards. Two or three minutes of dreadful suspense followed. A loud churning noise sounded close at hand, waves seemed to be breaking over the case, and I had a sensation as if my residence were being dragged swiftly through the water.
It didn’t last very long. Presently I felt the case run aground. Then it was lifted on to what I judged to be a barrow; which immediately began to move off over an abominably rough road at a pace which may have been necessary but was excessively uncomfortable to me.
Hitherto very little had been said. A few muttered directions were all that I had been able to catch. But now a newcomer appeared to join our procession, and I began to gather a few particulars of the rescue.
“Any of the coppers drowned, d’ye think, Bill?”
“Not as I knows of. I see ’em all a-crawlin’ up on to a dumb barge.”
“Where’s the tug now?”
“Islington, I should think. We left ’er on the mud with ’er propeller goin’ round like blazes.”
“What are you going to do with Powis, Bill?”
“We’re going to shove the case into Ebbstein’s crib and then nip off to Spitalfields with the barrer. And we’ve got to look slippery, or we’ll have the coppers on our heels, to say nothin’ of them tug blokes. They’ll be wantin’ our scalps, I reckon, when they find their craft on the mud.”
This conversation was by no means reassuring. I was certainly out of the frying-pan but it remained to be seen what sort of fire I had dropped into.
Meanwhile I carefully stowed my treasure in a secret receptacle inside the back of my waistcoat and braced myself as well as I could to resist the violent jolting and bumping caused by the combined effects of speed, indifferent springs and an abominably rough road. It was during a readjustment of my position after a more than usually violent joggle that my hand, seeking a more secure purchase on the wet surface, came into contact with a small body which felt somewhat like a flat button. I took it between my fingers and tried by the sense of touch to determine what it was, but could make out no more than that it was hard and smooth, flat and oval in shape and about half an inch long. This did not tell me much, and indeed I was not acutely interested in the question as to what the thing might be; but eventually, on the bare chance that it might turn out to be something of value, I deposited it in my secret pocket for examination on some more favourable occasion. Then I wedged myself afresh and awaited further developments.
The Third R. Austin Freeman Megapack Page 81
