by Tiffany Snow
If there was anything he could have said that would’ve made me melt more, I didn’t know what it could possibly have been.
Releasing one of my hands, he rested his palm on my stomach, slowly moving it up my abdomen and between my breasts. His gaze followed the path of his hand. Warmth spread at his touch as if by magic.
Stretching across me, he turned on the small lamp by my bed. I blinked in the light, though it was dim.
“Lights on?” I asked. Not that it was necessarily a bad thing, but I looked best in dim light, especially naked. Full dark was even better.
“I want to see you,” he said simply.
Considering the view I was treated to, Parker shirtless and kneeling between my legs, I couldn’t disagree.
I reached for the fly of his jeans and unfastened the button. It only took a few moments for him to shed the last of his clothes, then he was climbing back into bed with me and I had one of those pinch-me-I’m-dreaming moments.
“Is this real?” I whispered. “Or am I dreaming it?”
“Do I feel real?” He was braced on his arms, his body resting atop mine, chest to chest, my hips cradling his, the hard length of his erection pressing insistently between my thighs against the most sensitive part of me. His eyes stared intently into mine as his knuckles brushed my cheek.
I was too full of emotions to speak, but I didn’t need to. He read it in my eyes.
He kissed me and it was like a drug. Now that we could finally kiss, I didn’t want to stop. But I wanted more. My hands were busy mapping the planes of his back and his lips trailed to my jaw and down my neck. Eyes drifting closed, I let my senses overwhelm me with him—his scent, the texture of his skin, the weight of his body, the touch of his tongue.
My heart was beating so fast it felt like the flutter of a hummingbird’s wings inside my chest. I sucked in a sharp breath at the gentle rasp of his tongue on my nipple.
“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, pressing soft kisses between my breasts. “I’ve imagined this so many times. My imagination didn’t do you justice.”
I memorized the words and the way he said them, wanting to have them later to replay inside my head. That Parker had felt this way about me all this time was still a shock to me, a revelation that left me reeling.
I didn’t want to wait, couldn’t wait, any longer. It seemed Parker wanted to take it slow, whereas I was burning from the inside out.
“Please,” I managed, lifting my hips slightly, hoping he’d get the hint. I wasn’t exactly capable of more speech at the moment.
Parker’s hand moved between my legs. My nails dug into his shoulders and I tugged him back up to kiss him. Our tongues tangled and I moaned into his mouth when his fingers parted my folds to stroke me.
I was wet and ready for him and he groaned, his kisses growing fierce as he slid a finger inside me. The thought was running through my mind in an endless stream that it was unbelievable that we were here together like this. Parker was kissing me, touching me, after all the time of wanting and wondering and obsessing.
My orgasm hit with the force of a tidal wave, unexpected and overwhelming. A keening sound was coming from my throat, but I was helpless to stop it. Tearing my mouth away from Parker’s, I sucked down air. His lips brushed my cheek, his finger still moving inside me.
Impatient for him, I pushed his hand away from my body and reached for his cock. It was hot and hard in my hand, and I wrapped my fingers around his length.
“I want you,” I said.
Finally, he was as impatient as me, moving so he was positioned at the entrance to my body. My hands skated up his arms, the muscles there flexed and hard as they supported his weight above me.
“Look at me,” he said.
Our eyes met and it felt as though we were sharing the same soul. He pushed inside me, filling me, and now we shared the same body. The idea of two people becoming one had always seemed to me a rather romanticized view of sex. Not anymore. Now I understood what people meant when they said that.
I couldn’t look away. I didn’t even blink. His eyes were a deeper blue than I’d ever recalled them being. His face was so dear to me, I had to touch him. My hand cupped his cheek and he turned, pressing his lips into the center of my palm.
He began to move and I wrapped my legs around his waist, lifting my hips to meet his thrusts. Slow and deliberate, I could feel every inch of him sliding out of and into my body. It was an exquisite torture.
I wanted him to kiss me again, so I threaded my fingers through his hair and drew him toward me. His kiss was deep and I lost myself in him. Pleasure and emotion tangled into a haze as he made love to me. He whispered in my ear and fit his palm at my hip, his hand sliding down my thigh to hook behind my knee and lift my leg higher up his side. Time lost meaning and I clutched at his ass, urging him faster and harder.
Our bodies were damp with sweat and I was moaning and gasping, hovering on the blissful edge. Parker thrust harder, my name on his lips as he came, sending me flying again. Our bodies were in complete sync, the pleasure so acute it brought tears to my eyes as I held on to him.
We were both breathing hard as the waves of ecstasy ebbed. I felt utterly boneless, completely overcome with not only the physical connection we’d just shared, but also at the emotions coursing through me. Post-orgasmic glow was too mild a phrase to describe how I was feeling. Parker’s head was buried against my neck, his breath hot against my skin. My legs still circled his waist and I could feel the pulse of his heartbeat against my chest. It was … utterly lovely.
Right up until I got a toe cramp.
“Ow ow ow ow ow.” I cringed, frantically squirming to try and get to my toe.
“What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?” Parker asked anxiously, lifting himself off me.
“Toe cramp,” I hurried to explain, pushing myself up and grabbing my foot with the offending toe. “Ouch. Dammit.” Okay, not exactly how I’d pictured the aftermath, but what could I do. I sighed in relief as the cramp eased, then glanced at Parker, who was staring at me. I shrugged, embarrassed. “Sorry. Couldn’t help it.”
He burst out laughing, his eyes dancing as he looked at me. “Well, I’m glad your toe waited. A few minutes earlier would have been extremely inconvenient,” he teased. “Are you okay now?”
“Yes, I’m fine,” I said primly, though I was having a hard time hiding my grin. “Classy, right?” I rolled my eyes.
Parker surprised me with a swift kiss. “Yes, you are. And also unexpected. I love how you constantly surprise me. I never know what’s coming.”
Taking me in his arms, he twisted to lie on his back, tucking me into his side with his arm underneath my head. Still smiling, I nestled closer to him. I had the passing thought I should get up and go clean up a little and wipe the stickiness from the inside of my thighs, but I loathed the thought of moving too much. So I stayed where I was.
Parker’s fingers idly drew unseen patterns on my shoulder, his touch trailing lightly up and down my arm. I listened to his heartbeat and watched the slow rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.
“How did you know I was here?” I asked.
“I looked everywhere for you,” he said. “I called Megan, knocked on your neighbors’ doors, even tried to reach Ryker. This was the last place I thought to look. It should’ve been the first, I guess. It makes sense that you’d go home. Where are your parents? Out of town, I take it?”
“Yeah. I told my mom a little of what was going on. She said I should come here. So I did. After that guy found me at Ryker’s, I didn’t know where to go and I couldn’t reach you …”
His arm tightened around me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left you like that.”
“It’s okay. Was everything okay at your place?”
He hesitated. “Not … really, no.”
I lifted my head to look at him, alarmed. “What does that mean?”
“It means there’s now a dead guy in my apartment.”
“What!”
I sat straight up.
“It’s okay,” Parker said, tugging me back down.
“It’s not okay! What happened?”
“It was an ambush,” he said. “But I knew it was coming, and Viktor underestimated my ability to fight back.”
“Did you call the police?”
“No. I called Sasha. He sent a cleanup crew to take care of the body and the damage to the apartment.”
“But tell me what happened,” I persisted, not fooled by his vague reply. “Are you hurt?”
He looked down at me, an eyebrow cocked. “Do I seem hurt to you?”
I felt a blush creep up my neck and he laughed slightly. Reaching for the lamp, he switched it off. “Go to sleep, sweetness.”
My eyebrows went up at the endearment, even as something warm curled inside my chest.
I snuggled against him again, wondering if I’d be able to sleep. I was incredibly happy … but Ryker lingered in the back of my mind.
Why had he done what he did? Was he safe? Despite what had happened, I was worried about him. But I no longer felt I could trust him, or what he said he felt about me. He’d talked about being with Branna as though I should just understand. Did he have feelings for her, feelings that ran deeper than what I’d thought we’d had? Had anything he’d said over the past few months been real? He’d slid into the skin of McCrady so easily … as easily as he’d kissed Branna while I watched.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Someone banging on the door downstairs woke me up. I sat up, confused for a moment as to where I was. Parker was no longer beside me and I heard the shower running in the bathroom.
The banging came again and I jumped up and grabbed the robe hanging on the inside of my closet door. Throwing it on, I belted it as I hurried down the stairs.
It was really early; the sun wasn’t even up yet. The outside lights on the house illuminated things enough for me to see as I glanced out the window before opening the door.
Ryker.
I hesitated, but then he started on the door again so I yanked it open.
“Thank God,” he said when he saw me, looking relieved.
But the anger from yesterday came surging back. “How the hell did you find me?” I asked.
“You have my truck,” he said, as though it was obvious.
“So?”
“I’ve put a lot into that truck. It’s LoJacked.”
Ah. That explained it. Modern technology and GPS.
“Why are you here?” I asked. “Did Branna not satisfy you? Or have you come to shoot me again? Maybe you’ll get lucky and the gun won’t be empty this time.” I went to slam the door, but he shoved his foot in it and forced his way inside.
“Babe, listen to me—”
“Don’t call me that,” I cut him off, furious. “You should leave.”
I turned away, but Ryker grabbed my upper arms and spun me back around, holding me too firmly for me to get free.
“I knew the gun wasn’t loaded,” he said. “My life depends on knowing my weapons. I could tell by its weight the second he handed it to me that it wasn’t loaded. It was just a stupid test of Leo’s. Do you honestly think I’d fucking shoot you?”
“You pointed a gun at me and pulled the trigger! What the hell was I supposed to think?”
“What’s going on?”
We both turned to see Parker standing at the foot of the stairs. His hair was wet and he wore only his jeans, but his gaze was shrewd as he took in Ryker’s hold on me. He must have heard the yelling.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Ryker asked. I saw him take in Parker’s bare chest and feet and his jaw tightened.
Parker’s stride was eating up the floor. “What the hell is she talking about, Ryker?” he asked, ignoring the question. “You shot at her? Are you fucking kidding me?”
“The gun wasn’t loaded,” Ryker said. “I could feel the magazine was empty.”
“What if there’d been a bullet in the chamber? Did you think about that?” Parker looked livid.
A bullet in the chamber? Nausea curdled in my stomach.
“It was empty,” Ryker insisted.
“You took a chance and got lucky. Now get your hands off her.” Parker shoved Ryker and he let me go, stumbling back a couple of steps.
A dangerous glint came into Ryker’s eyes and it scared me. The tension between the two men was white hot and only needed a spark to set it off.
“No,” I said, putting myself between them and putting up a hand in front of each. “We’re not doing this. There’s enough going on without you two being at each other’s throats.”
They looked at me and for once seemed to see sense. Ryker turned away and heaved a sigh, shoving a hand through his hair. I saw Parker’s body relax slightly as he, too, eased off.
“Why are you here?” he asked Ryker. “Aren’t you supposed to be working undercover? What if Leo had someone follow you here?”
“He didn’t. I’m here because I was worried about Sage and had no way to reach her. And to tell you that Leo’s organization is the one supplying Viktor.”
“What?” I asked just as Parker said, “How do you know?”
“Because I’m the one he hired to find you,” Ryker said grimly.
“That’s convenient,” Parker said.
“Exactly.” Ryker replied. “If we can get your CIA contacts to work with us, we can set him up with fake intel and they can nab him.”
“Yeah, that should work,” Parker said after a moment’s thought. “But won’t that blow your cover with Leo?”
Ryker’s face was expressionless. “You may think I didn’t care if I killed her,” he said, “but you’re wrong, man. I love her, and I’m not about to let Viktor keep stalking her if I can do something about it.”
Oh God. I stared at him, caution whispering in my mind. He said he loved me, but what about Branna? What about how icy cold he’d been to me? Had I been utterly wrong about what had happened yesterday? What if Ryker hadn’t been lying to me about his feelings? He was putting his life on the line to help us stop Viktor … because he said he loved me.
And last night I’d slept with Parker.
Ryker took my hand and tugged me toward him. Still in a stupor of shock and confusion, I let him pull me in and wrap his arms around me.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmured in my ear. “I knew you were afraid and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I just prayed you’d trust me. If I’d hesitated, he’d have killed us both.”
“And Branna?” I asked, unreasonably hoping he had slept with her. It would make things easier.
“She and I are through,” he said. “She knows me as someone completely different. Not the person I really am. Not like you.”
The nausea in my stomach increased threefold. It wasn’t that I regretted what had happened between Parker and me—I was utterly in love with him—but if I hadn’t thought Ryker and I were over, it wouldn’t have happened.
But now Ryker thought we were still together and if he knew, he’d think I’d cheated on him. Which I guess technically, I had, but that hadn’t been my intention. I’d believed we were over. I’d told Parker so.
At the thought of Parker, my gaze lifted, searching over Ryker’s shoulder, and I found him. He was staring at us, his lips pressed in a thin line and his hands clenched in fists at his sides.
“Say you forgive me,” Ryker said in my ear. “All I’ve been able to think about is the look on your face when you ran out.”
“Um, I-I don’t know,” I stalled. “I need time.” What was I supposed to do? Break up with Ryker right now? When they were about to go into a dangerous situation with Viktor? When he was already toeing the edge in this deadly game with Leo?
Ryker had said he loved me and I loved him, too—but I’d been in love with Parker for so long, I couldn’t give him up now that things had changed between us. It was bad timing, that’s all, but when this was over with Viktor and Leo, I’d explain to Ryker that it wasn’t going to
work out between us.
Standing there, wrapped in Ryker’s embrace as I stared at Parker, I felt like the worst kind of fraud. Not only did I feel like I was deceiving Ryker, but what must Parker be thinking right now? What if he thought I’d lied to him in order to sleep with him? He’d unwittingly betrayed Ryker before at the hands of a lying female. What if he thought I was cut from the same cloth as Natalie?
“So what’s the plan?” Parker asked, finally looking away from me to Ryker. “When are you supposed to get back to Viktor?”
I eased out of Ryker’s arms, a flush creeping up my neck, and I couldn’t look Parker in the eye. If I did, I was afraid Ryker would know, would see my feelings written on my face.
“As soon as possible. Leo’s the go-between. Where do you want to do this?”
“Let me call my contact. See what they say,” Parker replied. He gave me a long look and took the stairs two at a time.
“Um, yeah, I’d better get dressed,” I said, backing away. Ryker caught at my hand.
“You know I’d never hurt you,” he said, squeezing my hand. “I just had to make it look good.”
“Yeah, I get it.”
His lips lifted in a crooked smile. “That move you did to get away, that was totally badass. Where’d you learn that?”
“Parker taught me a little self-defense,” I said. Even saying his name made guilt rise like a bile in my throat.
Ryker’s grin faded. “Lucky that you remembered what to do then,” he said.
I nodded, slipping my hand from his. “Yeah, lucky. Um, I’d better dress.”
I felt his eyes on my back the entire way up the stairs.
Looking through my closet, I was suddenly hauled around.
“What’s going on, Sage?” Parker asked, anger etched on his features. “You said Ryker was out of the picture.”
“I thought he was,” I said. “He pulled a gun on me yesterday. I didn’t know it was a setup. And there was this girl there that he’d had some kind of relationship with the last time he was undercover and it was like they were taking up where they left off … and yeah. I thought it was pretty over between us.”
