by Tiffany Snow
“Calm down, you’re all right,” she tried to assure me.
“C-can’t,” I gasped. “P-Parker and Ry-Ryker. Need them, please …”
“We have a situation here,” she told a partner. “Who are the other victims? Either of them Parker or Ryker?”
I had to find them. Were they safe? Did Viktor have them again? Was he hurting them?
I struggled to my feet, pushing away the woman when she tried to stop me.
“I have to find them!”
“Ma’am, please, sit down.” A man wrapped his arms around me, imprisoning my arms at my sides.
Panic flooded me. “No! Get off!”
“Sage! It’s okay, listen to me.”
Parker was suddenly in front of me, his face filling my vision.
“Let her go; you’re scaring her,” he demanded. The arms holding me dropped away and I fell into Parker’s embrace, sobbing.
“Don’t leave me,” I begged. “Please don’t.”
“I won’t. I swear. I’m right here.”
“Ryker?”
“He’s right behind you, not ten feet. You’ve gotta let him go, though,” he said gently. “He needs to go to the hospital, okay? He’ll be okay. I promise.”
I believed him. Parker wouldn’t lie to me.
I settled, tuning out everyone and everything but Parker. He held me while they messed with my hand and I barely paid attention to what they were doing.
“Did they give her anything?” the EMT asked Parker.
“I don’t know.” He pulled back slightly to look at me. “Sage, did they give you something? A drug?”
I shrugged, not caring, and leaned forward to rest against him again. He was warm and solid and alive.
Hands pulled back my hair while others lifted my arm to inspect the skin.
“Here,” Parker said, his voice rumbling in his chest. “There’s a mark on her neck. Some blood.”
“We need to get her to the hospital,” the woman said. She placed her hands on my shoulders and pulled at me.
“No!” I clutched at Parker, panicked.
“I’ll come with her,” he said. His arm tightened around my waist.
That made perfect sense to me. It was strange. In some corner of my mind, I could tell I was being unreasonable. But I couldn’t stop it. I needed Parker and nothing was going to keep me from him.
Parker stood, making me stand with him, and we took a step. My knees gave out and I would have fallen if he hadn’t had a hold of me.
“Easy now,” he murmured.
My legs were like spaghetti, completely useless. Parker mostly carried me outside to the ambulance and helped me climb in the back.
They had me lie down and they wanted my blood for a test. So long as I could see Parker’s eyes, I didn’t care what they did. He held my good hand and I lost myself in his eyes, until nothing remained but their pure blue, shining in the darkness …
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Everything was dark when I awoke. My mind was lethargic and slow. I licked my dry lips, blinking slowly as I turned to look around the room.
Was I alone? Where was Parker? Ryker?
Anxiety edged my listlessness, and I tried to sit up in the bed I was lying in.
“It’s okay, Sage. You’re safe.”
Parker. He was sitting in a chair next to the bed, holding my hand.
I fell back onto the bed.
“Where am I?” I croaked.
“The hospital.”
“Why do I feel so weird?”
“You were given a drug. They weren’t sure what it is, so they aren’t counteracting it, just watching you until it wears off.”
“Ryker. Where’s Ryker?”
I started to cry, images of him being burned by that tire iron so vivid in my mind, it was like I was watching it on television.
“Shh, it’s okay.” Parker tried to soothe me. “Don’t cry. He’s fine, I promise.”
But I was inconsolable, curling onto my side and crying as though my heart were breaking.
“You gotta come, man,” I heard Parker saying. “It’s the drug. It’s making her unstable. She needs you.”
I opened my eyes, distraught now that Parker might think I didn’t need him.
“Don’t leave,” I whispered, tugging him closer. “Come here.” I pulled at him until he climbed into bed with me.
“It’s all right,” he said, drawing his fingers through my hair. “The drug will wear off soon.”
“Viktor won’t come?” I asked.
“No. He won’t come.”
I breathed a sigh, closing my eyes.
“Sage, you remember tonight, when Viktor asked you if you’d choose?”
“Mmmm.”
“Do you remember what you said?”
I frowned. “He hurt me. My hand …” It felt numb now and was wrapped in something. I couldn’t bend my fingers.
“Yes, he did,” Parker said. “Do you remember who you chose?”
“I love you.”
“Yes, you said that.”
“I love Ryker.”
“Yes, you said that, too.”
I squirmed, tears leaking from my eyes. “He was hurting you. Hurting both of you. I was afraid he’d kill you.”
“He didn’t. We’re fine. I swear to you. Just tell me … do you remember choosing? Do you remember?”
I heard the door open and gasped, jerking around in fear. But it was Ryker. He was at my side in an instant.
“I’m here,” he said, taking my hand.
I pulled him down so I could hug him, talking through my tears. “He hurt you,” I managed. “I saw him …”
“Don’t think about that anymore,” Ryker said.
“Can you stay with me?” I asked. “Do you have to work again?”
He winced, but nodded. “Yeah. I can stay.”
I relaxed again, lying back on the bed. Parker rose, but I clutched at the T-shirt he wore.
“No, don’t!” He paused. “Stay,” I said. I was afraid. Afraid to let either of them out of my sight. They’d left me before and had nearly died. They could so easily be dead right now.
Parker hesitated, then lay back down next to me. I still had hold of Ryker, who sat awkwardly on the other side of me. My fingers were wrapped in gauze and he held my hand as though it was made of glass.
I let out a deep sigh, feeling the knot of anxiety inside my chest ease. Now things were okay. So long as I could see them and feel them, I’d know they were both safe.
My eyes were heavy and I couldn’t keep them open anymore. The room spun slowly on its axis. I could feel the comforting presence of the men I loved and before I realized, I was out.
* * *
When I woke up again, it was still dark, but this time I didn’t panic. I could feel the steady rise and fall of Parker’s chest as he breathed. Ryker was lying on my other side toward the end of the bed, his head resting on my stomach and his arms thrown over my thighs. Both of them appeared to be sound asleep.
It was a slightly odd situation and the memory of what had come before was hazy. I remembered being upset and unreasonably afraid something would happen to them. Somehow I’d gotten them not only in the same room, but into the same bed with me.
Huh.
I trailed my fingers absently through Ryker’s hair. The gauze had left enough of my skin uncovered so I could feel the silky strands. I marveled that they were here, they were alive. All of us were. But how? They’d been tied, strung up, and the men had taken me away—
I shuddered, my mind shying away from remembering.
Everything that had happened was hazy. I stared at the darkened ceiling and tried to remember. Viktor had been torturing Ryker and Parker, electrocuting them, then using the tire iron. Parker had told him about Ryker, then Viktor had begun quizzing me.
The tire iron had branded me—so much pain—and I’d told Viktor I’d slept with both of them, that I loved both of them, and he’d wanted me to choose.
And I’d said Parker.
I’d actually picked one of them, not knowing what was going to happen, if Viktor would kill the man whose name I spoke, or if he’d kill the one that I didn’t. How could I have done that? What kind of person did that make me? Not only had I technically cheated on Ryker, I’d chosen Parker in a life-or-death situation.
Self-loathing and regret filled me. Yet again, I’d sacrificed my dignity because of my complete infatuation with Parker—a man who’d tossed me aside after only one night with me. I loved him—couldn’t seem to stop loving him—but that love was unrequited. He’d said he wanted me, yes, that things would change between us. But they hadn’t, and his silence on love was deafening.
Ryker deserved better, and would no doubt be quick to end things once daylight came. And as for Parker, it was about time I gave up the obsession. It had been nothing more than a one-night stand, though I’d thought I was giving him my heart along with my body. It looked like Ryker meant more to him than I did, which I shouldn’t resent, but I did.
Maybe they’d be friends again. Maybe they’d both blame me for putting them in this untenable situation and find a common ground because of it. It would suck for me, but I’d be glad for them.
The sun slowly rose and I memorized this moment, being with the two men I loved, each in a different way. I loved Ryker as much as I could with a heart that had been taken by another man. If I ever wanted it free to give to someone else, I needed to cut ties with Parker.
But for now, while he was asleep, I could savor being with him one last time.
The room brightened bit by bit, and despite my best intentions to stay awake, I drifted off.
* * *
They were gone when I woke again, and the crushing disappointment overwhelmed me for a moment. I squeezed my eyes shut against the sting and took a deep breath.
“Are you feeling better?”
A nurse had entered—that’s what had woken me—and I snapped my eyes back open.
“Um, yeah,” I said. “Can I go now?” I was already climbing out of the bed, holding the hospital gown closed with my good hand and searching for my clothes. I’d abruptly decided I wanted to be home alone to lick my wounds in peace.
“Your bloodwork came back clean and we’ve given you a prescription for the ointment you’ll need for your hand,” she said, handing me a sheaf of papers. “You’ll have a scar, that’s for certain, but otherwise you’re fine and free to go.”
I hesitated. “The, uh, the men who were here with me. Are they … all right?” I’d almost asked if she knew where they were but decided at the last second that I didn’t want to know. I didn’t want to be tempted to go find them.
She nodded. “We treated the burn on the one man. The other had cracked ribs and a dislocated shoulder. Both had various minor cuts and contusions, but overall they were in good shape. They were discharged as well.”
I swallowed hard and forced a smile, even as I realized Parker and Ryker had left me. Maybe they’d grown tired of my neediness last night. “Thanks. I’ll be out of your hair shortly.”
“Is there someone I can call to come pick you up?” she asked.
I shook my head. “I’ll be fine.”
“Would you like me to get a wheelchair and wheel you to the entrance?”
So no. “Um, thanks, but no,” I said politely.
The nurse nodded and left. There was soap, toothbrush, and toothpaste in the bathroom and I cleaned up the best I could, finger-combing my hair. I found my clothes and was in the process of trying to fasten my jeans one-handed when the door opened and Ryker walked in.
We stared at each other for a moment, then he realized my predicament and walked toward me.
“Need some help?” he asked. He didn’t wait for a response, reaching forward and fastening the button.
“Thanks,” I said. “I-I thought you’d left. The nurse said you’d been discharged.”
He shook his head. “I got cleaned up, took a shower. That’s all.” He paused. “I wasn’t going to leave you alone.”
“Can you tell me what happened?” I asked. “How did you and Parker get caught? How’d you escape?”
“What do you remember?” he asked.
I shrugged. “It’s hazy and confused. Some of it feels like a dream, or a nightmare. I remember him hurting you, hurting Parker, then they had me pinned down in that hallway and were going to …” I cleared the sudden lump from my throat.
“Leading Viktor to us was the plan,” he said. “We didn’t realize until too late that he’d set a trap.”
“What kind of trap?”
“You,” he said simply. Reaching in his pocket, he took out a cell phone and pressed a few buttons. I heard my voice, tinny through the speaker.
“It’s too late. I don’t know what to do. It-it hurts … so much.”
I felt the blood leave my face. Those were words I’d said to Megan on the phone yesterday morning.
“Viktor said he had you,” Ryker continued, pocketing the phone. “And that was his proof. We had no choice but to go in.”
“Oh God … it’s my fault—”
“No, Sage, don’t think that way. It wasn’t your fault. Plans turn to shit all the time. Malone—my partner—had been paid off by Viktor. I still can’t believe it. He’s the one who tipped him off and got him access to tap your line. Which also explains why he’d do something as colossally stupid as sending you to Leo’s bar in search of me. He was hoping that would blow my cover.”
“But then how did you escape?” I asked. “Viktor had you tied up …”
“Parker damn near broke his arm,” he said. “I know he dislocated his shoulder getting free. He went after Viktor and they fought, but it was a pretty short fight.”
I remembered the iron shaft sticking out of Viktor’s chest, and swallowed.
“By that time, Branna had arrived with the cavalry. He and I came after you.”
“Branna?”
“I told you she’s loyal only to herself, she doesn’t actually work for Leo. She knew Leo had found out so she went to the cops. Turns out, she was working with someone else, some politician on the Senate Homeland Security Committee. So the feds have been investigating Leo, too, through her.”
“So she’s on your side?” I asked.
“Yeah. I guess so. For now.”
We stood in silence for a minute as I processed all this.
“Want a ride home?” he asked.
“Yeah. Yeah, I do.”
We walked outside and I didn’t object when he put his arm around my shoulders. Leaning into him seemed to be a good idea.
He helped me into his truck and a half hour later, we pulled up into my apartment building.
“Parker said your place should be fixed up,” he said.
The name was like an acknowledgment of the thick tension between us. The engine was idling, but I made no move to get out of the truck and Ryker didn’t turn it off. We just sat there.
“So you slept with him,” he said at last.
I nodded. “Yeah,” I managed to say. “I thought you and I were done. That you were with Branna and had almost killed me.”
“A rebound thing then?” he asked, a note of cautious hope in his voice. “Trying to get back at me?”
Had it been? Maybe. It was possible. So much had happened and my emotions had been left reeling. It was hard to say what I felt, and impossible to know what I wanted.
“I quit my job,” I said, glancing over at him. His aviators masked his eyes, but I saw his body relax slightly. “I … I won’t be seeing Parker anymore.”
“You said his name, you know.” He rested an arm across the top of the steering wheel. “When Viktor told you to choose, you said Parker.”
I didn’t reply, just stared out the windshield the same as he did.
“Did you mean it?” he asked. “Were you choosing him? Or were you screaming for help?”
And there it was. My out. If I chose to take it.
“I
think,” I began, choosing my words with care, “that I would understand if you want to call it quits between us.”
“Is that what you want?” he turned to look at me. “Because I sure as hell don’t.”
He reached for me and dragged me onto his lap. “I’m not giving up,” he said. “I gave up once before and I shouldn’t have. This time it’s going to be different.”
He kissed me, his fingers sliding into my hair and his tongue tangling with mine. Sweet relief and an echo of heartbreak expanded inside my chest. I couldn’t make sense of my jumbled feelings, so I shut off my brain and kissed him back.
I didn’t know how long we kissed—time didn’t have much meaning—but when we finally came up for air, it felt as though something had shifted between us.
“I have to go to the station,” he said, pressing his lips to my cheek, then next to my eye. “But I’ll be back, okay?”
I nodded. “Okay.”
I watched him drive out of the lot before going inside and up to my apartment. As Parker had promised, the place was once again pristine. I guessed those CIA guys knew how to do that sort of thing. It was amazing. I was just glad I hadn’t had to pay for it.
The first thing I did was take a shower, then dug out fresh gauze from my medicine cabinet for my hand. I needed to get that prescription filled, but was too tired to mess with it.
My refrigerator was sadly lacking in anything edible, so I stretched and got my cookie jar from the top cupboard. The sweet scent of peanut M&M’s hit me when I lifted the lid. Aw yeah, just what I needed.
I took the whole jar into the living room and sat on the sofa. My gaze wandered the room. I could barely see some spots where holes in the walls had been patched and the paint didn’t quite match, but overall it was an incredible transformation.
Two episodes of The Big Bang Theory and almost the entire cookie jar of candy later, there was a knock on my door. I checked the peephole before opening the door, too surprised to even think of not opening it.
“What are you doing here?” I asked Parker.
“Can I come in?”
“Um, yeah. I guess.” I moved aside and he stepped past me. Closing the door, I followed him into my apartment.
