by Cameron Dane
Garrick propped his elbow on the table and put his chin in his hand. “Do you now?” Better to let her lead this conversation.
“Yes, I do,” she shared. “I heard these two ladies whispering in the grocery store one day. They sounded so nasty and I didn’t know why, so I told my mom what they were saying and asked her why it was making them look so mean.” Little furrow lines appeared between her eyebrows. “She said transgender would be like if God put my soul in Shawn’s body, but I still felt like me, like a girl. When I got bigger I could maybe even have an operation to change it so that my outside matched my insides. She said that’s what transgender means.”
“That’s a good way to explain it. Your mom is very smart.”
“Uh-huh, she is. She said transvestite is like if Shawn might sometimes like wearing my clothes or her clothes when he gets bigger but still feels like Shawn on the inside, like a boy, then that’s transvestite. Or the opposite with me, she said. Like if I wanted to look and dress like a boy sometimes but still know I’m a girl inside.”
She tapped Garrick’s wrist and pointed toward the kitchen. “I think Mr. Morgan wants you to look at him.”
His mind swirling, Garrick glanced up at Devlin, his thoughts still on Chloe, her intelligence, and her one, pointed question that had started it all.
Devlin jerked his thumb toward the oven, and mouthed, Uncover mac-and-cheese for you? Garrick nodded and offered a little smile.
Chloe poked Garrick in the arm again, and didn’t even wait for him to put his full attention back to her before going on. “My mom said people sometimes don’t understand stuff like boys dressing like girls and they get afraid so they act mean to people who are different.” Clouds filled Chloe’s eyes and her mouth turned down. “I’m different cuz nobody knows me every time we move and I have to go to a new school and I have to wait for the teacher to introduce me and see if the other kids are gonna want to play with me when we go out for recess. I don’t like it,” twin dots of color spotted her cheeks as she spoke, “so I don’t think it was nice of those ladies to be mean to someone they don’t even know yet.”
“I agree.” Garrick covered her hand and gave it a light squeeze. “You’re a pretty thoughtful young person, Chloe, you know that?”
Chloe narrowed her gaze. “I know being gay means you wanna kiss and marry Mr. Morgan more than you do my mom.” Her tone remained low, but it didn’t lose a bit of its firmness. “I know cuz you stare at him like Edward looks at Bella in Twilight. It doesn’t matter to me, cuz I know you’re just Garrick, but you should tell Shawn cuz he’s still little. He thinks you’re gonna marry my mom and move into our house and be our dad. I never thought that. Even if you didn’t want to be gay with Mr. Morgan, I didn’t think you would be our dad, but Shawnee’s different.” Chloe stopped and looked to her brother a dozen feet away where he unwrapped a slice of cheese and handed it to Devlin, all the while yakking a mile a minute. Her focus remained on Shawn, and Garrick detected the tightening in her voice. “He’s gonna keep thinking you’re gonna be our dad and wanting you around more and more until someone tells him to stop.”
Garrick closed his eyes as his heart lurched right up into his throat. That he might have misled that little boy for one second, no matter how innocently, churned bile in Garrick’s stomach.
He forced himself to look at Chloe, then Shawn, and find his voice. “Have you told your mom what Shawn is thinking?”
She shook her head. “He said it today while we were brushing our teeth. I think it’s cuz you made us breakfast, and Mom’s not here, so it kinda felt like you live here and were the dad.” When Chloe came back to him, she didn’t have a tear in her eye, but her chin quivered just a hair, and her lips were pale. “Even to me.”
“Jesus, kid.” Garrick leaned in and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m so sorry.” Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He knew these kids didn’t have a father, but with absolutely nothing even hinted at between himself and Grace, it had never hit him that someone Shawn’s age would still think they could all live together as a family. “I’ll talk to your mom when she gets home and let her decide what needs to be said to your brother. Can we keep this conversation between us until after something is settled?”
Chloe nodded, but Garrick still felt like he’d ripped a puppy out of her hands and stomped all over it. He dipped down until they were on eye level. “Hey, I do like spending time with you and Shawn,” he told her. “Whatever feelings I have or don’t have for Mr. Morgan don’t have anything to do with me being in your life, as long as it’s okay with your mother. You know?”
“Yeah.” Chloe looked down at the table, started fiddling with her juice box, and began kicking the seating again. “Until we move again. Then we’ll be new somewhere else and just the three of us like always before.”
Pushing back deeper into the booth, Garrick exhaled and curled his hand around the back of his neck. “Maybe this was your last move.” Shit, was this conversation in confidence? Or should he tell Grace about Chloe’s dejected acceptance at the thought of moving again? “Could be this one sticks to you all like glue.”
“Maybe.”
“You’ve been here a year now,” Garrick pointed out, remembering Grace telling him that when he’d rented the garage apartment. “And your mom is getting this whole real estate thing going here in Redemption. Has that ever happened before?”
The kicking stopped. “No.”
“Well, there you go.” Garrick found himself staring at Devlin’s strong back. He couldn’t help the small grin that lifted his lips or hold back the sensation of mini fireworks popping in his chest and stomach. “Things might be looking up for all of us,” he said, his voice as soft as hers had been earlier. “Can you hope for that? With me?”
Chloe scooted closer to him and leaned her head against his arm. “I’ll try.”
Shawn suddenly screeched, and he shouted, “The cheese is burning! The cheese is burning!”
Garrick looked up just as Shawn yanked open the oven door.
“Shawn!” Garrick flew out of the booth, and panic scraped his voice raw. “Don’t touch that!”
Devlin spun in a flash, grabbed Shawn by the back of his shirt, and hauled him away from the open oven door just as the kid was starting to stick his hand inside. Devlin moved Shawn well out of the way, turned off the oven, and then used two hand towels to remove the mac-n-cheese.
Garrick stalled out at the island--his legs feeling like jelly--the second he processed that Shawn was okay. “Shit.” His heart raced too fast and he could not breathe properly to slow it down. “He would have been badly burned.”
“That’s why mom always uses the latch and locks it,” Chloe said, now at his side.
Rookie mistake. “I should have done that too,” Garrick replied, his throat still tight.
“I should have thought to tell you,” Chloe murmured. “No matter what mom tells him or takes away to punish him, he gets too excited and still tries to take stuff out of the oven all the time.”
A hand curled around Garrick’s shoulder, and Garrick followed the line of strong, tanned arm up to Devlin’s eyes. “Everyone is fine. Okay?” Devlin’s touch and voice steadied the buzz of adrenaline speeding within Garrick. “Disaster averted.” He pulled Shawn to his side and gave the kid a noogie. “Maybe it just means Shawn is going to be a chef one day. He likes the kitchen.”
With a snort, Chloe said, “Maybe it just means he’s dumb.”
“Am not!” Shawn whirled on Chloe and jabbed her in the leg with his little fist. She shoved him right back with an open hand to his shoulder.
“Hey!” Garrick pushed his way in between the flailing arms. “Both of you stop it now.”
Devlin and Garrick ended up in the middle of the kids, strong-arming each of them, and acting as a divider wall.
“How about we end this round as a draw and sit down to eat?” Devlin asked.
“I vote for Devlin’s plan,” Garrick said. He eyed Chloe first and then swung
the other way so Shawn got a piece of his stink eye too. “And if you both want to go back outside to play when we’re finished, you’ll agree to it too.”
They both grumbled but divvied up the task of carrying the condiments and paper plates to the table without further complaint.
Once Garrick saw the kids playing nicely again, he lifted his gaze to Devlin’s. The man had the most enticing light sparking silver in his eyes, so full of knowledge, and Garrick couldn’t create enough saliva to do more than whisper, “Thank you.”
“No problem.” Devlin handed Garrick the plate of burgers. The grazing of their fingers as it traded hands rippled a gentle wave of awareness under Garrick’s skin, making him feel as if they’d been comfortably touching forever. Devlin winked and said, “Let’s eat.” He left Garrick standing there with his jaw on the floor.
Chloe giggled behind him, and Garrick knew she’d witnessed the little moment too.
Great.
* * * *
Garrick winced as Shawn screeched from his bedroom, “I can’t find my Transformer!”
Chloe rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. “Why does he need to bring a stupid toy with us?” She pushed open the door, let herself out onto the porch, and looked up at Garrick and Devlin through the screen. “Tell him to forget about it or we’re gonna leave without him.”
With lunch finished, Garrick had promised the kids a trip to the ice cream shop if they helped make the kitchen sparkle as clean as their mother had left it this morning. They’d completed that task a few minutes ago, but after everyone took a turn using the bathroom, Shawn had declared he needed his Transformer.
After glancing at his watch, Garrick joined Chloe on the porch. “Come on, Chloe, let’s give Shawn a break. He’s only been looking for two minutes.”
Still on the other side of the screen door, Devlin ahemed and raised his hand. “Why don’t I go see if I can help him find it?”
Another easy smile pushed up the corners of Garrick’s mouth, as had been happening all damned day. “Tell him he has three more minutes.” His finger brushed against the soft screening as he pointed at the too-sexy man inside. “Don’t let tears sway you into more.”
Devlin jogged backward across the living room, pointing right back at Garrick. “I’ll have him on the porch in two!” He spun as he said that and disappeared down a hallway.
Dropping down to sit on the steps, Chloe mumbled, “I bet he cries and we never get to the ice cream shop.”
Garrick lowered himself next to her and clasped his hands between his spread knees. “I bet Shawn and Devlin are standing on this porch in under three minutes with Shawn’s toy in hand.” He watched her out of the corner of his eye. “What are you willing to put on it, Miss?”
She raised her brows at him. “How about, if I win, you have to buy me a new computer game.”
Grace had mentioned with pride that Chloe had a way with technology. “I think I can handle that,” he told her. “And if I win?”
“Let me think.” She pursed her lips and drummed her fingers against her chin. After just a few seconds, she perked up and looked at him. “I don’t have enough money to buy something good for you, but I’ll help you wash your truck the next three times you do it.”
“Three?” Garrick reared back and put his hand over his heart. “Well, that’s way better than anything you could buy me.” Laughing, he reached out his hand. “It’s a deal.”
Just as he and Chloe shook on it, a familiar car pulled into the drive.
“Mommy’s home!” Chloe shot to her feet, and Garrick stood too. Grace climbed out of the car, briefcase in one hand, purse in the other, and a smile as wide as the whole United States lit up her entire face.
“Well, how do you do?” Garrick said, his voice soft. “She did it.”
Chloe jerked her attention up to Garrick and then swung it back to her mother. “You did it?” The girl bounced in her little pink sneakers. “Seriously?”
After dropping her bags on the walk, Grace nodded and whispered back, “I did it.” Suddenly, she started moving, her stride growing wider and gaining speed with each step. “I did it! I did it! I did it!” She scooped Chloe into her arms and swung the girl in a big circle. “I sold a house.” With a big, smacking kiss planted on Chloe’s cheek, Grace made eye contact with Garrick and smiled somehow even bigger. “I started the process anyway. I put a bid in for my client and the seller immediately accepted. There are potentially still tons of things that might derail it, but this guy’s credit is gold.” Excitement took over Grace’s voice more and more with each word. “The house is in fantastic shape too, so I think everything is going to work out just fine.”
Feeling a little choked up, Garrick reached out and squeezed Grace’s forearm. “Congratulations.”
Grace wiped the corner of her eye. “A big part of this is thanks to you, Garrick.” With Chloe still clinging to her side, Grace pulled Garrick into their embrace and hugged him. “Thank you so much.” She pecked a kiss on his cheek. “I couldn’t have done this without knowing my kids were safe with you.”
He dipped his head. “It’s truly my pleasure.”
“We found it!” Shawn shouted as he burst through the front door. “Oh, Mommy! Look!” The kid thrust his hand up in the air, a shiny, metallic red toy in hand. “I found my Transformer.”
“Great,” Grace said.
Garrick pulled away from Grace. The second he’d heard Shawn’s voice, Garrick looked up and saw Devlin through the screen. The man had clearly witnessed the kiss, hug, and words between Garrick, Grace and Chloe. Devlin’s expression and body language held none of the openness or ease he’d conveyed all day long.
Garrick’s stomach did a sick dive. Oh fuck. He took a step toward the door. “Devlin...”
Still in the shadows of the living room, Devlin shook his head. Then, he joined them outside; he smiled and stood still long enough for Garrick to make introductions. After an exchange of “Nice to meet you,” Devlin informed them that he had to leave.
Shawn looked up at him, a frown marring his normally mischievous face. “You don’t want to get ice cream with us?”
“I’m sorry, Shawn.” A frown altering his face too, Devlin squatted down next to the boy. “I wish I could, but I just remembered I have plans tonight, and I can’t break them. It would be rude to cancel at the last minute.”
Devlin’s date. Garrick had managed to wipe that out of his mind the whole day today.
Before Garrick could say a word, Devlin hopped up from his kneeling position. “Here.” He pulled out his wallet and handed Grace a card. “That’s my number. The kids want to talk to you about taking a trip to the firehouse where I work.” Devlin shifted his focus completely to Shawn and Chloe. “You guys tell your mom all about it, and I’ll talk to the boss.” He started walking down the porch steps backward and into the yard ... away from Garrick, without even looking at him.
Stopping at the edge of the lawn, Devlin’s entire frame looked rigid, as if he fought stepping onto the sidewalk and then crossing the street to his car. “I had fun today, guys.” He finally lifted his hand in an abbreviated wave. “Bye.”
Garrick took the steps two at a time, bounding off the porch. He raced across the yard, grabbed Devlin’s arm just as he hit the street, and spun him back around.
“Please,” Garrick heard a funny crack in his voice, “don’t go like this.”
For the longest minute in eternity, Devlin stared right into Garrick’s eyes, his slate gaze softening it seemed. Garrick didn’t look away, and he held so still he didn’t even breathe. Devlin finally blinked and his line of his sight shifted to beyond Garrick’s left shoulder.
“You have things you need to figure out and get settled that are more important than me,” Devlin said, his voice solemn. “I think you know that.” The edge of his mouth lifted just the slightest bit and he grazed his knuckles across Garrick’s jaw. “Goodbye.” He dropped his hand and jogged across the street to his car.
Garrick couldn’t make himself move. He stood on the sidewalk, locked in place, and watched Devlin drive away.
Something brushed against his arm and Garrick finally realized Grace had joined him. “Do you need to go?” she asked, staring in the direction Devlin had driven away.
Garrick shifted and caught a glimpse of Shawn and Chloe sitting close together on the bottom step, pretending not to watch him. “No.” He understood what Devlin meant. More, he agreed with the man. “I need to stay.”
Shit. Where am I supposed to begin?
“I promised the kids ice cream.” Garrick’s chest pained him, more than he would have thought with just one short month knowing these people, but he got it said. “When we get back, we have to talk.”
Chapter Seven
Twenty minutes later, Devlin’s hands still shook as he pulled his car into the designated slot in front of his apartment building.
I can’t believe I found him--not only in Redemption a few days ago--but where he lives now, and then I just drove away.
Devlin hadn’t thought there could be anything that would make him walk away from Garrick without a bloody, drag-out fight, but he hadn’t counted on two kids who maybe needed a father more than Devlin needed a lover.
Garrick. I started thinking of him as that person today.
For a little while, Devlin had even slipped seamlessly into the role of playing house with the man. He’d completely blocked out of his mind--until Grace Fine had shown up on her own porch looking so beautiful, happy, and well-loved--that there was a mother attached to those kids. To Garrick, it seemed, too.
Not that Devlin thought Garrick was sleeping with the woman. If he were, Devlin figured the kiss Grace had given Garrick would have been more intimate than the one she’d pecked on his cheek. That didn’t mean they didn’t have a relationship of some importance and intimacy, though; they clearly did. That woman so obviously trusted Garrick; she liked him, she respected him, and Devlin could tell it went both ways.
Devlin couldn’t categorically say Garrick would never have sex with a woman, or even if he chose to do so that he wouldn’t enjoy it. Devlin could only say that the person he’d known in San Francisco had a wild passion for other men and a sexual appetite for his own sex that Devlin could certainly attest to firsthand. Conversely, the man Devlin had corresponded with toward the end of their e-mail and phone relationship had not only hinted at women, but then in that final goodbye had out-and-out stated he’d been in a long-term relationship with a woman and intended to marry her. Devlin supposed it could be possible that Garrick was bisexual.
