by Nate Allen
wash over me. It’s more real than reality was. All of my sensations are sharper. I don’t just hear the roar of the ocean. I hear the crabs shuffling along the shore behind me, the rustling of the palm trees inland, the various bird songs populating the island, and most clearly, I hear the wind as never before. Clear and crisp. It even feels different.
“Have I told you how handsome you are, Andrew?” Angie is just another wonderful sound next to me. “Rugged and sexy. What a man I have. What a gift I’ve been given.” I feel her lay her head on my shoulder as she lightly rubs her long nailed fingers around in figure 8s on my bare chest.
Finally I open my eyes to find her looking at me.
“How lucky I am.” she sighs with a smile.
I look down at what she’s wearing. Her bikini is blue and barely there, much more revealing than what Angie actually wore on our honeymoon. This truly is paradise.
4
There are many things I want to do with Angie on this beach. I start to untie the slim string on her top half, as she kisses me deeply, moving her hand downwar—
“Welcome, friends!” a strange voice interrupts us as if nothing were about to happen. Angie immediately stops kissing me, and uses her forearm to hold her top half on as she gets up from lying on top of me. I get up too. A black man with dirty dreads and a graying goatee is running toward us from inland. He is wearing black swim trunks and a red plain t-shirt.
“Who are you?” I ask as I walk toward him. I am beyond confused. What is anybody else doing here?
“Just call me D. I am here to welcome you. It’s always interesting to see the expansion. It’s always getting bigger, always adding new territories, new places to lease. You brought with you a pretty piece of land. I love the beach. Great attention to detail, by the way.”
“What are you talking about, D?” I ask as I look out toward the ocean.
“This world is always expanding. Just as life was a wonderful accident, post-life is an even better accident. Everyone who makes it here brings with them their own paradise, their own little piece. By itself, it would be an adequate final destination. But, as a piece to a much bigger puzzle, we are in the process of something amazing. You brought with you this beach. Someone else brings a mountain view, or even the mountain itself. We have a colorful variety. Cabins on the lake. Mansions as far as the eye can see. We have the most beautiful skies, both night and day. An astronomer has a very simple paradise. He had a small house, far away from everyone else, so that the night sky would come to life. His paradise is studying the stars with his trusty telescope.
“Some people are touchy about visitors though. I hope you won’t be like that, friend. This beach is plenty big enough to share, don’t you think?”
“Share?” I ask. “For how long?”
“Well, indefinitely, friend. You share your land, others share theirs. For example, if you let the couple next door, who have a stunning view of the Himalayas, come to your property, they lend you time in theirs. I’m sure they would love a beach getaway.” he smiles. “Think about it as a timeshare. Post-life is a vacation that never ends. But, everyone likes to change the destination from time to time.” he chuckles, seeming to expect me to do the same.
“D? Me and my wife just got here. This is all still very new—
“Say no more,” he interrupts. “I just want to know that you’ll be open to a timeshare deal in the near future. I know quite a few interested clients who would love to rent out a place as nice as this.”
“We’ll see.” I say, hoping he takes the hint to leave.
“Good.” he smiles strangely. “What was your name? I forgot to ask.”
“Andrew.”
“Good to hear, Andrew. Just know one thing. No matter how wonderful your little piece of paradise is, there is always the opportunity for more. With the right planning, I could get you into two or three more pieces of paradise. One is kind of boring, wouldn’t you say? There are quite a few vacancies at this time.”
“How are there vacancies? People willingly give up what they own?”
“Not exactly,” he says as he begins to walk away.
5
Whatever mood there was is gone. I watch as the strange man named D makes his way back from where he came. I feel Angie grab my hand and try to lead me back to where we left off. But, I can only think about what D said. He was right when he said that this would be adequate as a final destination, but he has effectively whet my appetite. I am interested in a trade if the price is right. Or a timeshare deal would be even better. I could lease what I have and get something else on the side. Then again, D said he could get me two to three more. He said there were vacancies.
D is an odd shaped silhouette the farther away he walks. But, I can’t let him get away. I can’t wait for him to show back up some time in the near future. I need to know what deals he can get me now. After all, it’s just a stupid beach. I’m sure there are nicer spots all over the place. Maybe he could find me one with a mansion overlooking the ocean. I would love to have a mansion. I have always dreamed of having one.
“D!” I yell as loud as I can as I run after him. “D! Wait!”
My feet carry me quickly toward him. His silhouette quickly fills in the detail. He is standing on the side of a road, only feet away from a shiny black convertible with red trimming.
“You nearly missed your opportunity, Andrew.” he says with a much more serious tone.
“I’m glad I didn’t. Let’s talk. I’m extremely interested in seeing what else you can find for me.”
“Get in. We’ll go for a drive.”
“Sounds good.” I consider running back to check with Angie first—what am I thinking? She has no opinion, no feeling other than what I want her to feel. It doesn’t matter. She might as well not even be waiting for me at the beach. She is a decoration, a detail, just like the palm trees or the very beach itself. She’ll wait patiently for me to return. And best of all, I won’t have to deal with her nagging about where I was.
“I have an extra t-shirt in the backseat. It might get a little chilly being bare skinned. Some of the places are high altitude.” D says as he opens the driver side door.
“Yeah. That would be great, D.”
He throws me a red t-shirt as he gets in the driver seat. I put it on as I take my spot. D and I match: red shirt, black shorts. It’s kind of strange.
“Where to first?” he asks.
“You said there are vacancies?”
“Yeah. Quite a few right now. We’ve had an interesting time lately. Two brothers who died in an attempted bank robbery brought a shoddy piece of land with them. Brown grass, paint peeling on an already ugly one story house. Awful.”
“How did they even get here? Bank robbers don’t seem to be the kind of people who deserve paradise.”
“Andrew, you’re talking as if this was Heaven.” he laughs. “Good. Bad. It’s all opinion. Your deeds are not what get you here, it’s your ability to create before the lights go out. If you can find a place to exist before the brain shuts down, your creation becomes part of this land. As I said before, this whole place is a miraculous accident. Just as life itself was created from random occurrence. The brothers didn’t need to be, what you call ‘good’ to get here. They just had to have an imagination. And they did, no matter how small and pathetic it was.” he clears his throat. “They shouldn’t have been here because they took up precious space with absolute garbage. And they knew it was garbage too. They went out to find better. They killed for it.”
“Killed? That’s allowed here?”
“This place is not much different than the world itself. The same laws that existed in life exist here. Survival of the fittest and whatnot. But, we usually have a certain quality of people here. People of great wealth. Great imagination. They don’t need to steal or kill because they know how to make deals.”
“How many people did they kill?”
“How many vacancies?”
“I guess.”
�
�Seven. There were eight, but I was able to get a lovely couple into one of them a few days ago.” he smiles as he starts his car.
“What happened to the brothers?”
“We found it fitting to burn them with their horrible property. Don’t worry, Andrew. It’s very rare for trash to find its way here. After all, we are a high class.” he says as we pull away from the beach.
6
D likes to talk. Despite his homely appearance, and his very dressed down style, he comes across as a man of great knowledge. Never judge a book by its cover. I never put much stock in that saying, but I suppose it’s true. It’s not our appearance that makes us a higher class, but our intellect. Only the smartest and the brightest are here. Those who believe in the mystery of science.
I was never a rich man like many of the people here, but I had big dreams. And if that is equal to wealth, I am as rich as they come.
“What kind of place are you interested in, Andrew?” D asks with his foot to the floor.
“Something seaside, like my beach, but with a mansion up on a high hill, and a staircase leading down to the beach.”
“I have something close to that available. Also, there are always special commodities I offer.” he says while looking over at me with an eyebrow raised.
“What kind of features?”
“This is for the type of man who likes to have something on the side. A dessert, if you will.”
“Like what?”
“Women. Many or just one. You can have them on a rolodex, if you want!”
“I
