He wanted to flip her and pound into her, but he also got off on watching her make herself come around his cock.
Up, down, forward, grind. Up, down, forward, grind. She repeated the motions until her head tipped back and she came on a slow moan.
“God, Kane. So good. So good,” she chanted as she let go, the glorious look on her face a sight to behold.
Somehow he waited until she was finished, until every last contraction had rocked through her, before he began to buck up into her. He held on to her hips and slammed her down on top of him.
Without warning, she began to tremble again, and as he came hard, his entire being taken on an explosive ride, she screamed and rode out another orgasm beneath him.
* * *
Kane must have drifted off to sleep, because he was startled awake when Halley hit him with a flailing arm. It was still daylight and the clock read five p.m. They must have been exhausted from the festival to pass out in the afternoon.
When Halley hit him again, he rolled over to find her asleep but thrashing back and forth in bed. “No.” She smacked at the air with her arms.
“Halley,” he whispered, but she didn’t wake up. He nudged her arm gently and continued to call her name, louder this time.
“What?” She woke with a jolt, her eyes focusing slowly on his.
“Are you okay?” he asked in a gentle voice because she looked frightened and her body still trembled. He couldn’t yet tell if she wanted to be held, so he waited for now.
She drew her tongue over her lips and gave him a short nod. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
But she curled into a fetal position and he called bullshit. She was nowhere near fine. “You can talk to me, you know. I told you earlier, I’ll never judge.”
She shook her head furiously. “I can’t.”
He narrowed his gaze. “Why not? Get it out and you’ll feel better.” He hoped. She’d obviously worked herself into a state and was holding something terrible inside.
She curled further into herself. “I can’t talk about it, Kane. Not to you, not to anyone. I can’t even bring myself to say the words out loud,” she said, her voice cracking.
He didn’t wait for permission and pulled her into the safety of his arms. She stiffened, then relaxed, accepting the comfort. She released the hold she had on her tight muscles and wound her body around his instead of the little ball she’d contorted herself into.
“Whatever it is, it has power over you and you need to let it go.” He had a hunch and decided to push. “Is this about that foster home you mentioned?”
She nodded into his chest.
What could have her so traumatized? he wondered, then froze in horror at the thought that ran through his brain. “Halley, were you raped?” He nearly choked over the word, his entire body rejecting the idea.
She must have heard the panic in his voice, because she rushed to reassure him. “No. Not that.”
Then what? he wondered. “Let it out,” he urged her again.
Rolling to her side, she didn’t stop trembling but she did begin to speak. “I was thirteen and in the last foster home before my aunt found me. The one after the place that accused me of stealing.”
He began to stroke her back. Slow, steady, reassuring strokes.
“They were a married couple, Elsa and Ray Cartman. And I was never comfortable there. From the first day, I didn’t like how Ray looked at me.”
Nervous and a little queasy, he wrapped his arms around her while she spoke.
“For a while, that’s all it was. Uncomfortable. But about a month before I left, I woke up one night because something felt wrong. I opened my eyes and Ray was standing over me.” A shudder went through her. “When he realized I was awake, he left. After that, he made it a habit of standing over me at night, so I stopped sleeping. I kept a light on in the room from that time on.”
He exhaled a long breath. He could understand how that would be traumatizing for a thirteen-year-old and even cause nightmares, but at least—
“It gets worse,” she said, surprising him. He’d thought, or at least he’d hoped, that had been the whole story.
“Go on,” he whispered in a rough voice.
“I… He… I woke up one night and he had unzipped his pants and pulled them down. He was stroking himself, masturbating while I slept. And before I could scream, he came on my bed, on me while I lay there,” she said, shaking like a leaf and rushing out the words as if expelling them would make them not as bad.
“Oh, baby.” He held her tight, rocking her into him even as nausea filled him and he had to hold back a gag. For her sake, he needed to be strong. After all, he was the one who’d forced her to relive this. “What happened next?” he asked softly.
“I screamed. Elsa came running. She blamed me for teasing him, tempting him to sin.”
Kane curled his hands into fists, then released them before she could notice. The last thing she needed was his anger. “Were you moved again?”
“Would you believe social services came the next day? My aunt had contacted them, looking for me. A day too late. Or a lifetime,” she muttered, breaking down in tears.
He couldn’t do anything except hold her as she cried, so he did, understanding, at last, why she had walls, why she didn’t like people, and why she preferred to keep to herself. Which made the fact that he’d gotten in a true miracle. One he wouldn’t take for granted.
* * *
Halley was shaky for the rest of the night. Kane hadn’t wanted to leave. In fact, he’d insisted on staying but she’d forced him to go. Sunday was dinner with his sister, father, and nephew, and she didn’t want him to miss his routine with his family. Though he claimed they were just bringing in pizza after the long day at the fair, she’d been firm. He needed to leave. Because she needed to prove to herself that she was strong enough to face her demons and handle them alone.
Kane was a good man and he’d been there for her in many ways, but it hadn’t changed her desire to rely on herself. To not trust in anyone too completely because she’d only ever been on her own.
Flashlight in hand and alone in the dark, she walked down the beach, letting her toes dip into the water. She listened to the roar of the waves and allowed peace to wash over her.
The past was behind her, she told herself. She had a good life. She had her sister and her aunt. Her mother seemed to be honestly repentant and wanted a relationship, which pleased her so much. When the time was right, she could even ask her mother what had happened to her baby sister, Juliette. Was it possible to locate her now? Hope trickled through her at the thought.
But for now, things were on an upswing. She hopefully had a dog coming home tomorrow. And she had a man in her life who understood her, and right now that was enough.
It had to be. No matter how much she was coming to feel for Kane, trust was something she didn’t think she had inside her. Not for the long haul, and he deserved so much more than she was capable of giving.
* * *
Early Monday morning, Halley had shaken off the effects of yesterday’s trip into the past. She hadn’t slept well, but she hadn’t had a nightmare, either.
Maybe Kane was right. Getting it out had helped. She hadn’t talked about that awful night since the therapist her aunt had made her see when she came home. Those visits had given her tools to pack the past away, and though she hadn’t done it one hundred percent successfully, she was coping day by day.
She arrived at the shelter, eager to meet Gail and hopefully finalize a doggie adoption. She needed Monty more than ever, something she realized as she’d tossed and turned last night. She prayed Gail found her to be a suitable home for him.
Once there, she walked inside and found Lyndie behind the desk. The place smelled of antiseptic, which meant at least it was clean, and there were dog pictures hanging on the beige walls.
“Hello,” Halley said.
“Hi!” Lyndie jumped up from her seat. “I’m so glad you’re here early. We’re going
to have a lot of people show up to claim pets they looked at yesterday. It’s empty now so Gail will have time for you.”
“Yay for good timing,” Halley said.
Lyndie grinned. “Why don’t you fill out the paperwork first so that’s complete. I’ll give it to Gail and then she’ll come talk to you.” She picked up a clipboard with forms attached and handed it to Halley.
She sat down in a chair and filled out the detailed questionnaire. Besides the basics, name and address, etc., it asked if she’d ever owned a dog, if she was home or worked during the day, how long the dog would be alone, and other things. They also asked for references, so she put down Kane and her sister, who she’d then texted and given a heads-up that she might be getting a call.
Halley answered the form honestly, hoping they wouldn’t hold the fact that she’d never been a pet owner against her.
She handed back the clipboard and asked, “Can I see Monty?”
Lyndie smiled. “You bet. I’ll go get him and Gail. Be right back.” She walked out a door behind her and returned minutes later with the small black dog in her hands. “Here you go,” she said, handing her the dog.
She snuggled him into her neck and inhaled his shelter smell, wrinkling her nose. “You need a bath,” she whispered, knowing that would be her first order of business if she was lucky enough to be able to take him home.
About ten minutes passed, after which a tall redhead walked into the front of the shelter. Lyndie disappeared into the back room.
“Hi. You must be Halley. I’m Gail Spencer.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Halley said.
“I see you two are bonding?”
She nodded. “He’s such a sweet boy.”
“He is. He’s come a long way. You’d be getting a real gem. He’s housebroken and crate trained but he’s also very much a Velcro dog. Meaning, he wants to be where his people are. I looked through your forms briefly and I see you work from home.”
She nodded. “I paint. Of course, I’d keep all my supplies up high and away from him,” she rushed to assure Gail.
“That’s good to know and a plus for a dog like Monty. We’ve grown very attached to him, but I have a German shepherd who needs long walks and I’ve had to separate them sometimes. My shepherd girl is a bit territorial.”
“I understand.”
They spoke for a little longer, and all the while, Halley held Monty in her lap. The little dog snuggled against her stomach, a feeling of warmth and attachment filling her.
After a bit, Lyndie walked over and gave Gail a thumbs-up.
“Your references checked out and I like you,” Gail said. “You’ve got yourself a dog.”
Halley’s breath left her in a rush and unexpected tears filled her eyes. “He’s mine?”
“A little more paperwork, a payment, I’ll give you a list of items you can buy, and come back for him whenever you’re ready.” Gail’s smile thrilled Halley because she knew the woman wanted to give him to the right home and she approved of her.
Halley kissed Monty’s smelly head. “I’m going to give you the best home, sweet boy. We’re going to have a good life together.”
“I’m sure you are,” Gail murmured.
Halley spent the next few hours buying pet supplies, taking everything home, and setting up her house. She put a crate in her bedroom and another in the same room as her easel, just in case she needed to lock him up safely, dog bowls, food, toys… so many toys, and assorted other things on the list given to her by the shelter.
She returned later in the afternoon and took her dog home.
* * *
Kane had never seen Halley so content as she’d been over the last week. Bringing Monty home had done something to soothe her soul. She’d needed the dog as much as he’d needed her, especially after Kane had forced her to relive that horrible night in her past. He ought to feel guilty about dredging up the memories, but he still believed she’d needed to exorcise them by talking. He hoped she’d stop dreaming about it someday.
Right now it was early morning and he was catching up on paperwork before heading to work on cars for the day, and he needed to focus more on the pages in front of him and not his personal life. He worked for another half hour, lost in thought when he was interrupted.
“Kane?” His sister came up to where he sat in the office of the garage.
“Hey, Andi. What’s up?” He couldn’t imagine why she was here instead of at work at the flower shop.
She settled into the chair across from the metal desk. “Dad’s up. Or should I say not up. He’s sleeping instead of getting up for work.”
“Shit. I hadn’t looked at the time. I’ll call him.”
“Don’t bother. I woke him and he said to go away, so whatever. That’s the least of my problems.”
He narrowed his gaze. “What else is going on?”
She leaned forward and propped an arm on the desk. “I went to my wallet this morning to give Nicky money for a class trip, and I was short about a hundred dollars. I just went to the bank yesterday, so I know what I had in there.”
Ugly reality settled on his shoulders. “You’ve got to be shitting me,” he said, though he knew she wasn’t. He ran a hand through his hair, wondering what their next step should be.
“I don’t know if I can keep doing this,” she said. “I know I’m living in his house, but I’m paying for everything, which I don’t mind, but I can’t keep feeling like I have two children to worry about. I think Nicky and I need to move out.”
Her words smacked him hard, but he understood where she was coming from. “How about we sit him down together and give him a choice. He can move into an apartment and pay for himself or you and Nicky can rent a place.” Either way she wouldn’t be living with the day-to-day problems of an addict.
She twisted a strand of her hair between her fingers. “That would work,” she murmured, looking as sick as he felt at the prospect of confronting their father.
He reached out and grasped her hand. “It’ll be okay. Either way. And if you need to move, I’ll look with you and help you out. I bet there are some houses for rent that you can afford. I’d hate to see you move into a smaller apartment, coming from a house with a yard.”
His nephew loved playing basketball on the driveway and riding his bike, and Kane didn’t want to take that away from him because his grandfather was irresponsible and had an addiction problem.
“Thanks, Kane. I hate to make it your problem.”
“Hey. He’s our father. I think that makes it our problem. All the responsibility shouldn’t fall on you.”
“Okay.” Her shoulders relaxed at his reassurance. “So what’s going on with you and Halley?” she asked. “Is everything good?”
“I think so.” He hoped so. He’d pushed her and she’d forced him to leave, but he hadn’t gotten the sense she was upset with him.
And when he’d worked at her house this week, their routine had been normal. She cooked dinners, they hung out, occasionally had sex if he wasn’t too exhausted from working and she was in an upbeat mood. He just couldn’t shake the feeling that she wasn’t as all in as he was and it bothered him. Or more likely, she wouldn’t let herself fall hard because of those damned walls she had up. He wasn’t sure what else to do to get her beyond her past and to be able to trust.
“I like her,” Andi said, interrupting his thoughts. “When I stopped by to apologize for dad’s behavior at dinner… well, for arguing in front of her, she was really great. We talked for a while. I think she’s good for you. She’s so understanding and sweet. Unlike an unmentionable woman in your past.”
He frowned at her for bringing up Liza, but he was glad his sister liked Halley. It meant a lot to him that the two women in his life got along, more that they liked one another.
“I’ll forgive you for mentioning the bitch,” he muttered. He picked up a pen and rolled it between his hands, a gesture he always found soothing. “But yeah. Halley’s great. She has her o
wn issues that keep me at a distance sometimes.” He wouldn’t be sharing that information with his sister. It wasn’t anyone’s business but Halley’s.
“I know there’s been a lot of gossip about her and her family over the years, but she seems to have her head on straight regardless of what went on in her past.” Andi wrinkled her nose. “Then again, perception can be just that. But if anyone can get through to her, you can.”
He laughed. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
“No problem.” She picked up her purse and rose to her feet. “Okay, I’m late as it is. I need to get to work.”
He walked her to the door. “Let’s pick a time to talk to Dad.”
“Yeah,” she said on a sigh. “Maybe Sunday night?”
He nodded. “Works for me.” There’d never be a good moment for that conversation, so they might as well just bite the bullet and dive in.
Chapter Eight
Halley waited at the coffee shop in town for her mother to show up as planned. She sat outside with an iced cappuccino and a cinnamon roll, the sun shining, Monty on his leash, lying down beside her. Things were good, if she wasn’t so wary about dealing with her mother.
Not that Meg had done anything to set off alarm bells, but that was the issue. After her aunt’s dire warning, her mother was acting so genuine. Calling every few days, asking about her life, being present and there. It was confusing because of how much Halley wanted to believe prison time had changed her.
She glanced up as her mother approached, dressed better than the last time Halley had seen her, wearing a pair of white capris and a red top.
She smiled as she settled down into a chair. “I’m sorry I’m late. The bus was running behind schedule.”
Halley smiled. “It’s fine. It’s a gorgeous day and Monty loves being out and about.” She leaned down and scratched the dog’s head.
Fearless (Rosewood Bay Series Book 1) Page 11
