by Marie Harte
Her pulse raced, hearing him say it making her want to do it all over again.
“Yeah, there we go. I can see in your eyes you want some more.” He kissed her thoroughly, leaving her panting. “Damn, cariña. You’re addicting.” He rubbed a thumb over her lower lip. “But the other night, I wasn’t trying to seduce you. I was trying to court you.”
She blinked. “Did you say ‘court’ me?” Had she lost a century in that kiss? “And oh my gosh, are you blushing?”
“Stop being a pain. You know what I mean. I was nice and respectful. Gentle. Not pawing at you like an animal.” He cupped her breast, and her body sizzled under his firm hand. He pinched her nipple through her clothes, and she bit her lip to stifle a groan.
“See, I think your deal is you like a firmer hand.”
“I do?” she rasped. That seemed a little too simple an answer. Not like she hadn’t considered that herself. If she’d been able to figure out why she couldn’t connect intimately with a partner, she’d have fixed herself long ago. But she had a feeling that the guilt from her first time had resulted in a lifetime of psychological problems when it came to relationships. God, she’d been single for nine long years. And on the rare times she did have sex, it was never any good.
Except that one time with Lou.
“Yeah. And by the way, that whole ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ line you tried is bullshit.” His fierce tone startled her. “It’s not all you, at least. A real man reads his woman, knows what she likes and doesn’t like. So if you’re not into it, I need to work with you to get you there.”
This had to be the most awkward, arousing conversation she’d ever had. Discussing her dysfunctional sex life while pressed against a man with a steel bar in his pants. How could she still want him right now? When just a few days ago, they’d been alone, in the perfect space for some private time, and she’d bolted?
It had to be her. Lou was sex personified. “But it is me. I’m not trying to be patronizing, Lou. I have issues.”
“You know, the first time we got so hot so fast, you didn’t have time to think.” His gaze narrowed. “You liked when I was in charge, didn’t you?”
She blushed. “A little.”
“Maybe a lot, huh?”
“Lou.”
“Joey. You’re not the only one with turnoffs. I like being in charge in bed. I really don’t want a woman climbing over me and taking control unless I tell her to.”
“But isn’t letting her take control still you being in charge?”
“That’s my point. Look, some guys are into breasts. Some are turned on by a nice, thick ass.” He held her hips and ground against her belly. “I like a slender woman, one with dark-brown hair, a killer body, and a smile just like yours. See that? Your eyes got a little darker, your breath faster.”
“I like you holding me close,” she admitted. “A lot.”
“You liked that first night, and you liked it Saturday night too. Until you started worrying too much, huh?” He suddenly let go of her hips and held her by the neck in a move so fast, he startled her. “Now what, cariña? What will you do? How will you get free if I don’t wanna let you go?”
To her shock and shame, she felt a huge wave of desire. Like, a tsunami worth of want.
He didn’t squeeze, but he held her tight. Controlling her. “You like that, don’t you?”
“I don’t know. Yes,” she groaned. She wanted to feel worse about her sexual proclivities, but she couldn’t focus past the angry curl of his lips. God, he was sexy when he was mean.
“You know…” He slid his hand up to grip her by the hair. Then he tightened his hold, and the bite of pain made it worse. Because she wanted him enough to drop her pants and spread her legs. Right here, right now. “Tell me, Joey. Tell me what you want.” He pulled her hair, just a small tug.
And she moaned. “I don’t understand, but I like this. It’s…weird.”
“It’s not weird. It’s fuckin’ hot. I’m so hard right now. You know that? Because I get off on this. And so do you, it seems.” He didn’t give her a chance to argue. To tell him that good girls who followed the rules didn’t like kinky, abnormal sex. Or that she should really be going home to her little boy and her disappointed parents and keep her legs closed for once.
Instead, she opened her mouth for him when he told her to, and she welcomed the kiss, the invading tongue, that stole her will and left nothing but pleasure.
After an eternity, Lou pulled back and must have liked what he saw. “Yeah, this is what we’re going to do the next time we’re together. You and me at my place. ¿Sí?”
She blinked, trying to gather her scattered thoughts. “What?”
“You tell me you can’t want me, and then you lose yourself in our kiss.” He kept his hand in her hair and gave a playful tug. “Focus on me when we’re together. You let me be in charge, and I’ll take care of you, sweetheart. Give us a chance, and you’ll be crying out my name the next time I’m buried deep inside you.” He let her go, his fingers sliding through her hair as he stepped back.
She couldn’t help noticing the monstrous erection in his jeans.
“See? This is what bossing you around does to me.” He grinned, then grimaced when he cupped himself. “I’m in pain because of you, woman. You have to say yes to this weekend. I might die if you don’t.” His hopeful leer made her laugh.
“I don’t know how you can talk me into the things you do.”
“What, coffee? A date? That’s nothing. Wait until you’re naked and I’m between those pretty thighs.” He winked. “I know how to make you feel real good, Joey.”
She exhaled, still hot and bothered and now no longer worried about losing her desire for Lou. “You’re a smooth talker for sure.”
“Yeah, but I can back it up.” His thorough once-over had her wanting to squirm. And when she shifted, her legs slid all too easily, her own arousal more than obvious to her.
This connection she might never get again. And darn it, she liked Lou. How different to be with a man who put her needs first. “So, well, maybe we can get together Friday night. I have to see.”
He didn’t question her. Instead, he nodded. “Let me know. Same place, eight o’clock.” He stepped back from her. “And as much as I want you, we can just hang, okay? No pressure.” He stood, staring, as if unsure. Then he muttered under his breath, stepped close again, and kissed her.
With a lot of tongue and groping hands. When he moved away, he was swearing under his breath in Spanish. He visibly adjusted himself. “Sorry. But it’s painful. You just don’t know. Now do your closing, and I’ll wait for you to lock up.”
She hurried, and when she’d finished, he walked her out to her car. She got in and started it up, then rolled down her window to say goodbye.
He leaned down to meet her face-to-face. “Get some rest. You’re going to need it for Friday.”
“Oh?” She paused with the car running, her foot still on the brake.
“I’ve been practicing. Next time I’ll be the one spanking you at gin.” He chuckled. “And maybe spanking you for something else if I’m lucky. See you soon, princesa. Text me.” He kissed her cheek, smiled, then walked away.
She wondered if her goofy smile matched his before she drove home to the little man in her life.
Chapter 10
Friday evening came all too soon. Sending that text to Lou had been one of the more difficult things she’d done lately. But a conversation with Becky, then dealing with her parents again, had proved to her she had to start living for herself.
No, it wasn’t exactly normal for her son to see a mother who never spent time with others outside the family. Grandma and Grandpa were all well and good, and for the most part, they dealt fairly with Brandon. Her mother did, at least. She loved the stuffing out of the boy.
Andrew could at times get preachy, but B
randon had found a way to ignore him while acting as if he paid attention. Joey would have admonished her son about it, but her father could get on her own last nerve. No doubt her boy had picked up the fake listening trait from her.
“So what do you two have planned for this weekend?” Amy asked as she dished some macaroni casserole onto Brandon’s plate.
“I’m sleeping over at Colin’s tonight.”
“Colin? Didn’t you just go to his birthday party last weekend?” Andrew asked.
“No, Grandpa. That was Todd. Colin was at the party, though. He’s younger than we are, but he’s super good at soccer, so Todd and me play with him sometimes at school. He’s having a slumber party for his dog’s birthday. Did you know dogs can celebrate birthdays?” Brandon shoved a huge helping of macaroni into his mouth and talked through his food.
Her father cringed while Joey shared a grin with her mom she quickly erased when her son looked her way.
“Brandon,” Joey admonished. “Chew, swallow, then talk. Grandpa doesn’t want to see your half-eaten food.”
“Sure he does. Right, Grandpa?” Brandon talked with his mouth open, his words garbled. “Look at my cave full of Big Foot boogers.”
Her father crossed his eyes. “That’s just gross. Besides that, you’re doing it wrong.” Andrew took a big forkful of broccoli and chewed, then showed off green teeth and broccoli mush. “See? Slime from the planet Kazooma.”
Brandon laughed. As much as her father could be such a downer at times, he had moments where he played and showed his love. He and Brandon continued to talk about dogs, soccer, and school.
“So, honey, what are you going to do while Brandon’s at his friend’s?” her mother asked in a quiet voice. “Got any big plans? Hanging out with Becky?” Amy paused. “Got a date?”
Hating to lie to her mother but in no way wanting a lecture about the perils of men in this day and age, she shrugged. “Nothing big planned. Becky mentioned maybe going out with some girlfriends. We’ll see.”
She noted her father half listening while pretending to be super engrossed in Brandon’s play-by-play of his last soccer practice.
Amy frowned. “You know, I think it’s time you started dating again. You’re too young to be so alone.”
Shocked that had come out of her mother’s mouth minus a monologue on birth control, Joey stared.
“I mean, you’ve worked so hard raising Brandon, what with your job and going to school too. I just think you’re missing the fun of being young and free.”
A small frown appeared on Andrew’s face before he pointedly looked from Brandon to Joey. “But she’s not so free, is she?” Having said his piece, he turned back to his grandson and talked about the Sounders win over D.C. United—and the only reason Joey knew it was about soccer was because Brandon talked about no other sport lately.
Ignoring her father and mentally counting to ten before she said anything that could be construed as “defensive,” Joey focused on her dinner. It now tasted like dust and went down as badly, but she managed to keep smiling, took another forkful, and replied, “Nah. I’m having all the fun I need, Mom. Managing the store has opened up some new opportunities for me.” She hated that her father looked so satisfied. Did he never want his daughter to have a relationship outside the family? She forced herself to sound happier than she felt. “I might even have another wedding to do, and Stef is giving me the green light to run the whole thing. As in, it’ll kind of be my own business. I think. Tied to the shop, of course. But we’re talking about maybe making it a completely separate entity.”
Her mother looked like she wanted to change the subject back to the forbidden—to men—but she refrained. “Good for you. You’re naturally gifted when it comes to business. So smart.” She beamed. “Just like me.” They both laughed, and Joey relaxed a bit. “So other than work, what else are you doing this weekend? Your father and I are thinking of heading to Port Townsend, staying over Saturday night.”
“For the craft show,” Andrew chimed in. “No, Brandon. Like this.” He made another face that sent her boy into gales of laughter.
“Did you want to come with us?” Amy asked.
“No. Brandon’s sleepover tonight will make him crabby tomorrow. He has fun but never gets enough sleep at his friends’.”
“You were the same way.”
“Was I that independent at eight years old?”
“No. You wanted to move out at six!”
“And here I am.” She sighed.
“And here you are,” her father repeated. But this time he had a glint of humor in his gaze when he added, “The prettiest girl I know with the ugliest little boy. How did that happen, Amy?” He smiled at his wife. “Must be genes from your side of the family.”
“Ha, ha.” Amy rolled her eyes. “I know where he gets his goofy sense of humor from, that’s for sure. And it’s not me.”
Grandson and grandfather both snorted with laughter, and Joey couldn’t hold back her amusement. Better to laugh than cry, she told herself, cherishing the small moments with her father that never lasted.
An hour later, as she drove Brandon to Colin’s house, something clicked. “Oh. This is Colin McCauley, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, so?” Brandon fiddled with the radio stations, settling on some ’80s throwback tunes.
“Nothing. Just curious.” So she’d probably see Del then. Colin’s stepmother.
Nervous at the prospect and not sure why, probably because it was one more connection to Lou, she tried to shrug off her nervousness. “Remember that wedding I worked? That was for Colin’s new mom.”
“Oh. Del. I like her.” He leaned closer. “But sometimes she says bad words, and Colin’s dad puts her in time-out.”
She did her best not to smile. “Is that so?”
“Yeah. Colin’s dad is really big. But he smiles a lot, and he’s always giving Colin man-hugs.”
“As opposed to regular hugs?”
Brandon nodded. “They’re better because it shows how much Colin’s dad loves him.”
She swallowed around a lump in her throat. “That’s nice.”
They drove toward Queen Anne, and she wondered how that must feel, to have hugs from a man who loved you unconditionally.
“Mom?”
“Yes?”
“Is my dad still sick?”
She gripped the steering wheel. Hard. “Why do you ask?”
He shrugged and looked out the window. “I don’t know. I just wonder about him sometimes.”
Joey had never wanted to lie to her son, but telling Brandon his father hadn’t wanted him was too cruel for anyone to hear, let alone a child. So she’d told a skewed sort of truth. “Yes, I think he is. He was very sick in his head and his heart when you were born, sweetie.”
He plucked at his pants and sighed. “I know that, Mom. I just think it would be neat if I had a dad who could give me man-hugs. That’s all.” He glanced at her and smiled, her bright little boy with dark-brown eyes, a mirror image of her own. “But your mom-hugs are the best in the world. I told Colin that at soccer last week.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. His mom died when he was a baby, so now he’s getting used to Del’s hugs. And Del has strong arms.” He laughed. “I think he’s scared of her.”
“I’m scared of her,” she said drily. “She does have big muscles. And tattoos too.”
Brandon blinked. “Really?”
“You’ve never seen them?”
“No. Cool. I’ll ask her to show them to me.”
And like that, mention of his father drifted to the far corner of his mind, his enthusiasm for another sleepover taking precedence.
Thank God. Though she’d been sorry things hadn’t worked out between her and Felix, that he’d signed the release form had been a huge relief. She’d heard horror stories about angry
exes and child custody nightmares. Granted, the money would have been nice to get, because babies were expensive. She hadn’t been alone the night Brandon had been conceived, so why not split the cost of raising their child? Yet not having to deal with Felix and his rich, jerky parents at the expense of child support? She couldn’t put a price tag on that.
Becky said he’s back in town. Seattle had nearly seven hundred thousand people living in it at any given time. The odds of running into Felix were slim. Though she knew how the world worked, and with her luck, she’d end up running into him on a street corner.
She’d always known the possibility existed that Brandon might someday see his father. So telling him his father had died, as her mother had wanted her to, didn’t seem right. The sick theory had worked thus far, but she knew at some point she’d have to get more detailed as to why she and Felix hadn’t worked out.
He’d been two years older than her when they’d separated. Which would make him twenty-six by now. And like the other times people had mentioned him in passing, she had only a vague curiosity about him. He belonged to her distant past, not her present or her future.
“There, Mom.” Brandon pointed to a pretty blue house with pots of flowers outside and a black muscle car in front. Definitely Del McCauley’s house. Joey parked behind Del’s car and turned to Brandon.
“Honey, this is two weeks in a row. Are you sure you want to go?” She’d been asking him that since he’d made plans yesterday, feeling guilty because once again she had the perfect opportunity to see Lou. Thinking about having sex while her innocent son readied to play with his friends.
Ugh. She was going to hell, no two ways about it.
“Mom, seriously.” He nodded. “I want to go. I can, right?”
“Sure, Brandon. I just wanted to make sure.”
His wide grin told her she’d worried for nothing. “Good. Because his dog is awesome. And Del lets us have pizza and candy.” He grabbed his bag and tore out of the car.
