by Noelle Adams
“That’s perfect!” She finally pulled away and looked up at his face. “But how did you know it was my birthday?”
“I thought about it a few weeks ago and checked your driver’s license.” He cleared his throat. “I actually thought you would have told me yourself.”
“I should have, but I just hadn’t thought about it very much and I didn’t want you to feel any pressure to do something big.” She gazed at the load of mulch and was so happy about it that she clapped her hands.
“It’s just mulch. I bet no one ever gave you mulch as a present before.” He looked pleased with her reaction but also a little sheepish.
“That’s because no one else has really thought about what I might actually want and need before.”
There must have been something in her voice she hadn’t intended because Rob made a throaty sound and pulled her into a kiss, right there in front of her house, while she was standing in her pajamas.
She responded to the kiss, wondering vaguely if there had ever been such a sweet, sexy guy in the history of the world.
Finally she remembered where they were and pulled away.
Rob’s eyes were still very warm and tender as he stroked her face one last time before he dropped her hands. “We could do the mulch today, but I know you have that lunch with your friend and I need to go see my folks this morning. My dad needs some help on one of his outbuildings.”
“Tomorrow is perfect for doing the beds. Thank you so much. It’s the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten.”
He cleared his throat again before he asked slowly, “Since it’s your birthday, how would you feel about me taking you out to dinner tonight?”
She turned to look at him. They hadn’t done anything public this week except go to the movie, where no one in town had seen them, although he hadn’t done as well about hiding his feelings for her in Dora’s at breakfast as he had before. She suspected that the whole town knew they were together by now.
Going public didn’t feel as scary now as it had before. She wanted to spend the evening of her birthday with him. “That would be nice. No need to do anything special, though.”
His expression relaxed slightly, and she realized he hadn’t known whether she would agree or not. “Great. I’ll figure something out.” He glanced at his watch. “I better unload this mulch now, so I can get up to my folks’ early.”
“Let me run and put something better on, and I’ll help.”
—
Rob was in a very good mood when he got to his parents’ old farmhouse in the valley between two mountains.
He’d thought it would be smart not to get Allison anything too romantic for her birthday, but he hadn’t expected her to be so sincerely delighted with the mulch. She really seemed to care about him and want to be around him. She’d agreed to go out to dinner with him tonight, on what she’d have to consider a date. Pretty soon he might even be able to let down his guard and be a little less careful around her. He wouldn’t have to constantly worry about blowing it and getting dumped. He wouldn’t have to worry about being humiliated and powerless again. That would be very nice.
All in all, he was feeling pretty good as he walked into his parents’ house and found them canning green beans.
Or, rather, his mother was canning, and his father was sitting at the kitchen table supervising.
“Thank heavens,” his mother said when she saw him come in. “Please take him out of here and give him some work to do.”
“I’m helping!” his father said, munching on one of the beans as if it were a candy stick.
Rob couldn’t help but laugh.
His mom gave him a quick, close look. “You’re in a very good mood today.”
He had no idea how she could tell so quickly. “It’s a beautiful day.” He went over to clap his dad on the shoulder. “We might as well get busy, before it gets too hot.”
His father grumbled a bit as he got up—entirely for show—and then they went to work on a wall that was starting to collapse in on itself. Rob liked to work with his hands, and he liked to help out his parents, and his dad was good company—not chatting endlessly but often coming out with surprisingly funny comments.
The time passed quickly, and Rob was surprised when his mother came out and told them it was time for lunch. They went inside and washed up while she put down meatloaf, beans, and baby potatoes on the table.
“You shouldn’t do so much just for lunch,” Rob told her, although he wasn’t about to complain, since he loved his mom’s cooking.
“You make the effort to drive all the way up here just to visit and help out, so the least I can do is make a good lunch. Goodness knows what you would have if left to your own devices.”
Over lunch they talked about the farm and about Rob’s business and about what the weather was likely to be for all of next week. He was leaning back after he’d finished, feeling full and satisfied and wondering when Allison would be back from having lunch with her friend in Charlotte, when his mother said out of the blue, “Now tell us how things are going with that lovely sweetheart of yours.”
Rob jerked and froze for a minute with his water glass halfway to his mouth. He hadn’t told them a word about Allison. Not a word. When he finally put the glass down, he muttered, “Wow, news travels fast.”
His mother reached over to pat his hand. “Of course it does, but it’s not like it needed to. Your dad and I knew you had eyes for her at that cookout. We were just waiting to hear you finally made your move.”
Rob leaned back, torn between affection and embarrassment. He wasn’t in the habit of discussing his love life with his folks. In fact, they’d never really asked about it before. He’d known they hadn’t liked either Marie or Dee before he’d married them, but they hadn’t said anything except to ask a few sharp questions.
Of course, if he’d followed up on their obvious disapproval and listened to them, he would have saved himself some brutal mistakes. But he’d ignored all the signs and gone into the relationships, just because they felt easy.
“I’m starting to see Allison,” he said at last, since his parents were obviously waiting for a response. “That’s all it is right now.”
“I don’t even know what that means.” His mother shook her head at him. “You have feelings for her, don’t you?”
“Y-yes.” That seemed harmless enough to admit, and it happened to be true.
“So you’re courting her?”
Rob gulped. “I’m not courting her! We’re just starting to date. She had a messy divorce, so she wants to take things slow.”
“That’s all well and good and completely understandable, but what about you? You’re treating her right, aren’t you?”
“Of course I am.” He had no idea what had prompted this interrogation, but he was a little offended by the question. All of his life he’d tried to do right by women, and he wanted to do so even more with Allison. “What did you think?”
“Oh, Rob, dear,” his mother murmured, “of course we know you’d never hurt a woman intentionally. I just meant you’re not just stringing her along because you’re worried about doing this all the way.”
“I’m not stringing her along!” He paused and leveled his voice. No reason to be defensive about it. “We’ve been up front about our relationship the whole time. Things are going fine. She’s the one who still wants to hold back.”
He looked from his mother’s face to his father’s, and for some reason it felt like they were seeing more than they should, as if they knew something about him that he didn’t even know himself. “Why do you think I’m going into this just to mess it up?” he demanded, not angrily but because he really wanted to know.
“You wouldn’t do so intentionally, dear,” his mother replied quietly. “You’ve always been the most generous man with the kindest heart. But you don’t always want others to see you for real, so we just wanted to make sure you’re really showing her you.”
Rob stared at them, confused
and rattled and strangely anxious. “I am. I…think I am.”
“You’re not just showing her the presentable parts?”
“Well, I sure as hell don’t want her to see the other parts,” he muttered, suddenly knowing exactly what his mother was talking about.
“She might like you if you only ever show her clean hands, but she’ll never be able to love you unless you show her everything.”
Rob had no idea what to say, but he was brutally uncomfortable and wished he’d never gotten into this conversation. He and his folks didn’t talk this way. It made him feel foolish and vulnerable and way too young. He stared down at his empty plate and tried to figure out a way to end this conversation without hurting his mother’s feelings.
But she was already continuing, saying, “You know, I’ve thought about what happened with you and Maria a lot.”
Rob’s head shot up. “You’re not saying that was my fault?”
“No, no, of course not. I’ve just thought a lot about how it’s not surprising you never want to feel that way again—like everyone can see through you, all your mistakes and weaknesses and humanness. I completely understand why you keep trying to avoid it, but that’s not what love is about. Now, Robert, I can see you love her.”
Rob opened his mouth to object, but his father muttered, “Don’t interrupt your mother.”
His mom nodded. “We can both see you love her, but it’s never going to be what you want it to be unless you give all of yourself to her. You’ve got to trust her not to hurt and humiliate you, like Marie and Dee did.”
Rob was breathing too heavily, despite his attempts to control it. He felt too hot and adjusted the neck of his T-shirt in the hopes that he could breathe better. “I appreciate you trying to help. I really do. But she’s the one who’s really holding back. I’m trying to be patient for her.”
“And it never occurred to you to be a man and make the first move?” His mother must have seen something in his expression because she shook her head and patted his hand again. “I’m sorry, dear. I know you don’t want to be having this conversation. Just tell us you’ll think about it, and we’ll drop the subject.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Good. Now go outside to finish with your father so you can get back home at a reasonable time.”
Rob was intensely relieved to leave the stuffy house and get back to work he knew how to do, work he was comfortable with. He couldn’t help but think about what his mom had said and concluded that she’d had a point to a certain extent, but she didn’t understand his relationship with Allison. He couldn’t just dump all of his problems on her when she wasn’t even sure she was ready for the relationship. There was nothing that would make her run faster.
It wasn’t because he didn’t trust her. He just couldn’t move too fast.
He remembered how she’d acted this morning and felt better again. Things were going fine. He was making progress. Better not to change anything at this point, or the whole tower of cards might come tumbling down.
When they’d finished with the outbuilding, he went back to the house to clean up and say goodbye. It was two o’clock, but that still left plenty of time to get back home make sure everything was set for tonight.
“I’ve got something for you,” his mother said as he was drying his hands with a dish towel. “Come with me to get it.”
“What is it?” he asked, genuinely curious. Sometimes she gave him food to take home and occasionally she gave him a piece of furniture or a picture, telling him to fix up his house a little more attractively.
“You’ll see.” He and his father followed his mother into their bedroom, where she went to a box on her dresser. “Now, son, we just want you to know that we really like your Allison.”
His shoulders stiffened, and he couldn’t keep the surprised pleasure out of his voice. “You do?” The knowledge gave him a silly flare of hope that he might not be making another huge mistake, that he might not have picked another woman who would never stay. “You barely even know her.”
“We know her well enough to know she’s a good choice for you, and we’ve seen how you’ve been this last month, so we know she can make you happy if you let her.”
“Mom, I appreciate it, but I already told you that we’re just starting to—”
“Yes, yes, I know what you said. I think it’s silly not to court a girl if you have feelings for her, but young people today have their own ways. I just wanted to give you this.”
She reached into the box and pulled out a diamond ring with a gold band.
It was beautiful and delicate and obviously old, but the diamond wasn’t anything to sneer at. Since his parents had married as teenagers, they’d had no money for an engagement ring, so his father had bought his mother this ring on their tenth anniversary, after the farm started to do really well.
Rob almost choked. “I can’t give her the ring, Mom! She’s only just agreed to go out with me.”
“I know. I’m not suggesting you give it to her now. I’m just giving it to you—to let you know that your father and I believe in you. And we believe you’re going to do right by her and win her heart in the end. Take it now, and you can give it to her when you’re ready to really trust her.”
Rob was shocked speechless and ridiculously touched. He stared at the ring, trying to make his mind work, trying to make his muscles work, his mouth work. “I shouldn’t…” he began, unable to finish the thought.
“Yes, you should. It’s from me and your father. It’s a gift, and you can’t turn it down or you’ll hurt our feelings.”
“Take it,” his father muttered.
They couldn’t have said anything else that would have made him accept, but he reached out to take the ring from her hand. It was in what once had been a jeweler’s box, but the lid had broken off at some point, so the ring was visible, sitting in the slot in the velvet of the bottom half of the box. “But you should be wearing it,” he tried once more.
“It doesn’t fit my fat finger anymore, but it will fit hers. Not now. It sounds like you aren’t there yet. But when you are, when you’re ready to love each other and enjoy each other and depend on each other for the rest of your lives, you give her that.”
Rob had absolutely no idea what to say. He couldn’t help but imagine offering this ring to Allison—sometime in the future, when things were settled between them. He wondered if she would like it. It was old and not nearly as fancy as the one she’d probably gotten before.
But she hadn’t wanted that one. She hadn’t wanted her rich, arrogant husband.
Maybe, one day, she would want him.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, feeling brutally self-conscious and more than ready to get out of there.
“You’re welcome.”
Because he loved his parents and he appreciated their attempts to help him, no matter how silly they made him feel, he gave his mother a tight hug and then his father one too before he left.
He took the ring with him. When he got home, he stuck it in the top drawer of his dresser with his socks, telling himself it would be a long time before he needed to worry about it.
It would be here when he needed it.
—
Allison had a fabulous lunch with Vicki at one of their favorite restaurants in the city. Vicki, of course, put her through a full interrogation on her relationship with Rob. Allison kept saying they were just having a good time and there wasn’t a future, but she wasn’t even sure she meant it anymore.
She was starting to have a hard time imagining the day when she wouldn’t want to be with Rob.
She was back home by three thirty, with plenty of time to get ready for her date. Rob had called and said he’d made reservations, but since it was last minute, all of the later seatings were booked and he’d had to take six o’clock.
Allison didn’t care what time they ate. She was just excited about going out with him. She was actually feeling quite fluttery.
She spent a long tim
e looking through her wardrobe until she finally decided on a pretty, sleeveless dress in a pale green color with subtly printed flowers and birds around the bottom of the flowing skirt. She looked really nice in it, and it looked like she’d made an effort, but it wouldn’t be totally out of place in a mountain restaurant in the middle of nowhere.
Rob had told her the name of the restaurant, but she’d never been there, so she didn’t know what to expect.
When Rob knocked on her door, she opened it to discover he was holding a pretty bouquet of peonies. She smiled in surprise and was feeling more fluttery than ever as she went to put them in a vase so they wouldn’t dry out while she and Rob were at dinner.
Rob had made an effort with his appearance too. He wore a jacket over his dress shirt and tan trousers. His clothes obviously weren’t custom tailored or particularly expensive, but she thought he looked very nice.
She’d never seen him in a suit jacket before.
He told her the restaurant was the best one in the area. A New York chef had moved to the mountains and decided to open the place a few years ago. It was full every weekend, and it was really the only choice in the county if you wanted something other than fast food, standard-issue Mexican, or basic country cooking.
Rob was in a good mood, and he made her laugh on the drive there on some very windy mountain roads. The road suddenly reached a micro-town with a few houses and one intersection, and Rob took the turn to end up at what looked like an old storefront.
“This is it?” she asked. There were already a lot of cars here, but the place really didn’t look like much.
“Don’t judge by appearances,” he teased. “Wait and see when you get inside.”
“I’m not judging. I’m sure it will be great.”
“If it’s not, you can tell me, you know. You don’t have to pretend to spare my feelings.”
“I…I don’t think I’m pretending,” she said, stumbling a little on the words.
“Good. I’m glad.”
His expression sobered for just a moment, and she was suddenly afraid that she was pretending, exactly as Arthur always said she was. Pretending she could be independent and run her own life when she was really just waiting for another man to come along and make it better.
