by Erin Lee
Neptune’s ability to speak left her and she began crying uncontrollably into the palms of her hands. Sue scooted her chair back and walked around the table, pulling her into her arms in a comforting embrace. The older woman tried to console her with loving words as Neptune sobbed onto her shoulder. They remained that way until she finally calmed down.
“Have you told the police? Is he near here?” Sue asked, pulling back.
Neptune slowly shook her head. “No, I just wanted to escape, and as far as I know he’s still in space. I mean way far away from here. From my home state. I saw the town of Escape, Colorado and just figured it made sense. No artificial intelligence to it. I just had to get away and I did. I wanted to get as far away as I could. I didn’t have much money and I had no plan or anything. I just got away when I had the chance.”
Sue caressed her arm. “Do you think he will look for you?”
“I don’t know. It’s possible I guess, but I hope and pray to the Goddess that he will never find me even if he tries. If I ever get the feeling that he is looking for me and that he might find me, then I will move out. I will not put you or Raymond in danger. I promise.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through such suffering. No person deserves that.”
“Thank you.”
They heard the upstairs toilet flushing and ended the conversation abruptly, but not before Sue told her new tenant and friend not to worry about anything.
“I’ll tell Raymond something he will believe, don’t you worry. This is between us girls.”
“Thank you.”
They hugged again before Sue walked to the coffee pot and poured Raymond a cup as the stairs creaked to announce his descent.
Earthlings aren’t so bad.
“Good morning, ladies,” he greeted them in a husky voice as he entered the room pulling at his Santa beard.
“Good morning,” they said simultaneously, laughing. Neptune had a feeling laughter would be a constant thing in this household. She missed it – being part of a family that didn’t revolve around Little Anus. I need to get ahold of mom and my sisters.
STEPPING OFF THE EARTH bus and onto Crimson Street, Neptune waited for the light to turn so she could cross the street. Just yesterday, she’d almost been hit in Peak View. Traffic patterns on Earth were nothing like the ones on the home planet. Still, traffic wasn’t as bad as she’d thought it would be and the wind was being kind for once since she’d landed in Colorado. She kept her eyes down as she walked, making sure not to step on any ice. She had bundled up for the cold weather. Before now, she had never been to an outside mall. There were plenty of stores to explore, but getting to them was challenging on an icy day for an alien who learned to walk in less dense gravity. She didn’t mind much though. It was actually fun to experience something new. She planned on going to the Crimson Hills Mall when she left this one. She wanted to make a day of exploring her new home and had no intention of letting anything slow her down. She had big plans for her Thanksgiving shopping list and wanted to be the best Santa her earthling friends had ever seen.
Little Anus would hate this. Little Anus would say the only place to shop is CometMart, where everything’s cheap. He’d say I was being high maintenance and tell me I better have brought cosmic coupons. He’d tell me I didn’t know what it was like to put in a full day’s work and have it blown by an unappreciative little four-eared bitch. God, I hate him. God, I don’t miss him one bit. What was I thinking? Little dick too.
She walked past a massive movie theatre and noticed they actually held sixteen separate theatres inside. Goddess! Like a mother ship! Amazed, she stopped to examine the building and peruse the movie posters that were on display outside. She hadn’t been to the movies before. She’d heard it was quite the experience. Maybe next payday or after Thanksgiving she would see if Sue and Raymond would be interested in going with her. It could be her treat, to thank them for all they’d done.
An hour later, as she walked into the house, she was hit with the aromas of cinnamon and nutmeg coming from the kitchen. She heard Sue laughing and Raymond talking. Then, she heard the voice of a young man who could be no other than Frank. Her heart slammed into her chest so hard it almost hurt. She quietly closed the door and removed her coat and shoes. Walking into the kitchen, she prayed for him to be one of those rare polite earthlings. She was as nervous as a schoolgirl and didn’t understand why. You are an idiot. Cut it out. She whispered into her personal service device, “Goddess help me.”
“There you are!” Sue said excitedly. All heads turned to Neptune as she soaked in one of the most handsome earthling men she had ever seen. Reba hadn’t lied. Neither had the pictures, only they hadn’t fully captured his good looks. Neptune had to focus just to keep her jaw from dropping. She welcomed any sort of distraction in this moment and contemplated walking right back out of the house, shoes or no shoes. It was just too much and she felt ridiculous for feeling that way. How am I supposed to talk to this man?
He had to be at least six feet tall and had broad shoulders and shoulder-length curly, sandy colored hair. What caught her off guard the most were his deep blue eyes. They matched Sue’s almost identically.
“Hi, you must be the one I’ve been hearing about for the past two hours. I’m Frank.”
His voice. Oh my God. “Hi, I’m Neptune,” she barely stammered. “I’ve heard a lot about you, too.”
“Yes, he got here a couple of hours ago...” Sue started, but Raymond interrupted.
“...and she hasn’t stopped talking since.”
Everyone laughed, including Sue as she swatted her husband with a towel. Neptune had to seriously get ahold of herself. Yes, their son was gorgeous. Yes, his voice had an effect on her—she could only hope he wasn’t a big talker. If so, she was in trouble. Make an excuse. Get out of the kitchen right now. You’re going to make a fool out of yourself. Women snowboard around this man? I can barely stand and I’m not fighting gravity. It’s got to be an earthling thing – women with confidence.
There was no leaving. Sue wouldn’t stand for it. She wanted to be sure Neptune felt included. She worried for Neptune, who didn’t seem to have family support or anywhere else in the world to be. She insisted Neptune help her with the banana bread. Reluctantly, Neptune agreed. At least it gave her something other than Frank to focus on. You know how to cook. Do that. Don’t blush. Green will freak him out. Keep the hair down. You’ve got this. No one else has figured it out. There’s no reason anyone has to know. A woman has a right to her secrets.
But Frank didn’t make keeping her head in a bowl easy either. The rest of the evening was passed by with him talking about what he did and asking her about how she liked Colorado. So much for him not being a big talker. Neptune was in heaven and hell at the same time. It was like the year Jupiter collided with Saturn’s moon. A beautiful sight to see, but tragic all at the same time. She kept thinking about how much trouble she was in. A woman just knows. She needed to get in bed and away from the man who seemed to have galactic powers over her. She couldn’t be rude though, so she had to wait until a reasonable time to excuse herself for the night or maybe even forever. When the clock read ten o’clock she lied about being tired and escaped to the safety of her room. There, she could breathe normally again...until eternity. Maybe she could run off to that place called the circus and spare everyone...
Star
Chapter Eight
Neptune Star, present day
It’s not every lifetime that you meet your soulmate. They certainly don’t generally come from four galaxies away. It’s not normal to meet them all because two douchebag humans walked into your shit boyfriend’s mother’s eatery and you wound up on another planet. People don’t usually become poster children for female aliens’ lib all for losing their shit and tearing their shirts off to expose their three mutant tits. They don’t run off to the circus either, only to find another cause to champion and a way to profit off being different. But that’s what happened to me. It took
a bit but I eventually listened to Es and decided to follow my destiny. She told me to trust the universe’s will and I have.
These days, Frank and I spend our days on the slopes. He’s still an instructor and I work in the lodge. I don’t mind the job. It’s nice to be close to him while the circus is off tour. In a few months, when the snow melts, we’ll head home to Mom and Dad’s house and hope for some of that world famous stew.
Frank knows about me now. It’s hard to hide an extra set of ears and wayward boob forever. He jokes that the extra ears are a good thing because I’m so hard of hearing. He says destiny has a way of working itself out. I suppose he has a point. With him, I don’t mind when he tells me I have the best rack in the universe but that he prefers my mind. Next week, he’ll return to my home planet with me so I can testify in the trial against that old stalker of mine. I don’t need an order of protection anymore. There’s no way Frank would allow anyone to hurt me. Little Anus won’t have a shot. He says taking care of me is part of his job. He takes it very seriously. Still, I want to make a point to the other females on the planet known for the hottest chicks in the galaxy. I need them to understand that we’re more than just bodies and don’t need a man to shine like the brightest of stars.
I’m not saying everything is perfect. I plan on getting back in touch with my sisters. That will be a shit show. And telling Sue and Raymond my full story and where I come from won’t be easy either. But I think they have the right to know. Word in the galaxy is that my story will hit the wires soon. It’ll be better to tell them myself. In the end, everything will work out. I have the Goddess on my side. And besides, it’s cosmic justice. It’s the stuff space legends and love stories are made of. And it happened. To me. It’s true. My entire plan went off course and landed, ironically, on Earth – the way destiny intended it to be. Even better, at the circus. Be careful what stars you wish on. Lesson learned, of course.
I laugh as Es fumbles with the cards. I don’t exactly need them anymore. Still, it’s nice for old time’s sake and there’s something about tradition that just feels right. It’s been nice, having her here for a visit before she hits the road come May with Madame Leslie’s Carnival.
“I really don’t need a reading.”
“I do.”
“For you?”
She puts down the cards. “I’m worried about the show. Something in the stars is off. Things just aren’t aligning. It has something to do with Albert. I just know it. I don’t trust that guy.”
I lean in closer to be sure I heard her right. “Albert Blender?”
“Yes.”
Albert Blender, while a little odd due to his invisible status, hardly strikes me as someone who would cause a problem with the show. “What do you mean?”
“I caught him—well, his hat—in Leslie’s office the other day. He was going through the paperwork. It was surreal to see. Just a hat and pages moving.”
“So?”
“So he shouldn’t have been in there.”
Earthlings are so paranoid. “But he’s invisible. Don’t you think if he was up to something he’d have taken the hat off?”
“True. Good point.”
“How is Leslie anyway?”
Es shrugs, “Same old, same old.”
“I should have stayed. It was my plan to take that show.”
“No. It wasn’t your destiny.”
“But I came from another galaxy!”
“Yes. But only for true love.”
I can’t argue with her. While I feel for the animals, even from afar and with the help of those who work in the conservatory, I’ve at least been able to make headway with changes about how long they are caged and how they are fed. Simba has a bigger trailer and Worm managed to replace Ian with a guy named Bob who has big plans for the Big Cats – beginning with finding a way to make them a little less blood-thirsty. He seems nice to me, only he looks too much like Little Anus. So many people. So many freaks. Es is right. Frank is the one for me. I’m lucky.
They say the circus is all an illusion. They are probably right. But there’s so much more to it than that. And even with my new life, I can’t say I don’t miss it sometimes. Leslie, for all her shortcomings, always provided an entertainment unlike any I’ve seen since – in any galaxy. Frank has promised we can visit soon. At some point, we may even do a year on the road. He’s working on a hover board routine that might just fit in. That’s the thing about the circus: There’s room for everyone. Even aliens, werewolves, one-armed serial killing little people, and invisible men. Somehow, and against every odd, we just manage to blend...
Acknowledgements
Special thanks...
Thank you to Circus Smirkus and the gravity-defying crew that showed me the ropes – literally. Your ability to pull off the illusion is nothing short of magical.
As always, thank you to my readers and the members of Crazy Inklings who follow this series and my other works. You keep the words flowing.
Special thanks to Kimberly Lee, who keeps things running smoothly with Crazy Ink so I have time to write all the words. I couldn’t do any of this without you. Together, we have created something spectacular.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
ERIN LEE is a dark fiction/reality author and therapist chasing a crazy dream one crazy story at a time. She is the author of Crazy Like Me, a novel published in 2015 by Savant Books and Publications, LLC, Wave to Papa, 2015, by Limitless Publishing, LLC and Nine Lives (2016). She’s also author of When I’m Dead, Greener, Something Blue, Freak and 99 Bottles. She also penned Losing Faith, a novella with Black Rose Writing. She is co-author of Black Rose’s The Morning After. She is also author of the “Diary of a Serial Killer Series” and “Lola, Party of Eight Series” with Crazy Ink. She is a co-author of the Moving On series, including bestselling The Ranch and Moving On. Other horror and upcoming titles include Pawn Takes All and Scary Mary.
Lee is the founder of Crazy Ink Publishing, a multi genre publisher specializing in multi-genre anthologies for all kinds of crazy. Through this venture, she hopes to give readers and authors alike a taste of other realities and worlds so that they can escape into the words.
Lee holds a master’s degree in psychology and works with at-risk families and as a court appointed special advocate. When she isn’t busy dissecting the human experience, she enjoys escaping from reality through reading and spending time with her muses and canine companions and therapy dogs – Thomas the Terrier and Milo Muse.
To learn more about Lee’s work, visit www.authorerinlee.com or take a look at her Facebook author page by visiting www.facebook.com/gonecrazytalksoon.
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MEET THE FREAKS THAT ARE BABY GIRL AND DADDY!
Daddy’s Girl excerpt:
Daddy
EMERY JOHNSON. QUEEN of Kappa Gamma sorority. She’s first. Or, maybe, I’ll save the worst for last. Lizzie always did that; left the peas on her plate and ate around the fat. That’s what I’ll do. I’ll save little Miss Emery for last. By then, I’ll have had practice. More time with Baby Girl but with the others too. It’s not like I can take it as far with Baby as I can the bitches who I’ll kill. Whatever. You don’t have to know the order right now. Just get the information you need. Patience is a virtue. It took time for this bitch to kill Lizzie.
I scroll through Emery’s Instagram feed. As usual, I wince at what her father—who apparently pays less attention than I did—would think if he saw her ass hanging out of her cut off shorts and the 157 likes from boys looking for nothing that could be of any good intention. I remind myself she’s the enemy who posed as my daughter’s best friend. I tell myself that his kid kil
led mine. They both deserve it; Emery does especially. Welcome to hell, sweetheart.
Apparently the threats of a lawsuit, which will amount to a whole lot more than threats if Kathy has any say in the matter, have helped little Miss Emery make her first right decision in taking most of Lizzie’s pictures down. The only of my daughter that remain are memorials or the group sorority photos. Just two months ago, the dim-wit didn’t have the foresight to do even that – even after Lizzie had been gone so long. She’d left Elizabeth up there for the world to see – exposed and with a bullseye on her for ridicule. Relieved that, at the very least, I don’t need to see those pictures again, I move on to princess number two and the one I’ll likely seek revenge on first: Kelsey Donavan.
Breezing through my bookmarks, I’m annoyed to find that Kelsey—whose blonde hair is too similar to the shade of Baby Girl’s natural color for my liking—has spent the day “snuggling with Boo.” This ‘Boo’ person happens to be Colby’s best friend and vice president of the Sigma fraternity. In her latest posting, he grins up at her from under a thick pink blanket surrounded by too many stuffed animals to count. On the wall, behind her headboard, hangs her Kappa Gamma princess pledge class crown – the same one Lizzie brought home her freshman year after her induction. Not for long.
I feel bad for ‘Boo,’ whoever this kid really is. Other than his name and a few comments on Facebook that tell me he’s a pothead, I can’t get a feel for him. Whatever. This is war. I can’t get hung up on who will get hurt in the gunfire. I can’t rethink this. Kathy told me, just today, that the lawyers say the case will take at least three years to get through the courts. Even then, the criminal side will be hard to prove. Ultimately, she said, the lawyers think the best we’ll do is win the civil suit.
