by Bea Paige
“Great analogy, well done… So, what?” I ask, not bothering to hide my sarcasm.
“So, I look deeper. I give an actual shit, not a metaphorical one. You are not a statistic, or a file in a cabinet to me,” he says, glancing at Annie who winces. “And by the time you leave my school, you won’t be hiding who you truly are even if you do choose to wear the same clothes. You’ll be the person you need to be, and yes, I will take some of the glory for that. All my past students think I’m a decent guy, a saint some have said, but what they don’t realise is that I’m a borderline narcissist. At least you got that part right.”
He winks, then grabs a key from his desk and chucks it at me. “You’re in room 104. First floor of the residential annex. Go settle in. Do what you need to do to make yourself feel better about being here, then take a look around. Dinner is at 6pm in the dining hall, after that you’re free to watch tv, mix with the other pupils in the breakout area or go back to your room. We will start the full induction tomorrow morning at 9am sharp after breakfast, once all the kids have arrived. Now, if you don’t mind…”
And with that he dismisses me.
“Arsehole,” I mutter, but even that cuss is half-hearted. I kind of like the silver fox and I think he likes me. Shame then that over the next few months I find out the same can’t be said for the rest of the fucking school.
7
I find my room easily enough. On the way, I pass several other kids lingering about the site, all boys, but I pay them no attention. Even when they jeer and catcall, I ignore them. Their sniggers and remarks about my appearance don’t even penetrate the hardened exterior I’ve built up over the years. I’m tough enough not to let a few names hurt me.
Besides, I’ve got plenty of time to work everyone out over the coming days and my phone is burning a hole in my back pocket because it’s filled with messages that I really need to answer. Opening the door to my new room, I take in my surroundings. It’s larger than I expected. A single bed is tucked in the corner, the duvet, sheets and pillows folded up at the foot of the bed. There’s a wardrobe, a desk and chair, and the room is painted white. On the opposite wall to the bed is another door, through the gap I can see a shower. Ensuite then? That’s a bonus, I suppose. Otherwise the room is bland, boring. Clinical almost, and in desperate need of colour. I’m itching to fill the space with my art, the huge expanse of white wall is just begging to be painted. Then I remember why I’m here and sigh. Apart from sketching in my pad, I haven’t tried to do any graffiti art lately. Toeing the line hasn’t been easy, but I keep reminding myself of my little brothers so my sketchpad will have to do.
Wandering over to my bed, I dump my rucksack on top of the mattress and look out of the window. The academy building and residential annex are surrounded with fields and sits high on a hill away from Hastings’ seafront and town centre. I have a great view of the town that’s filled with hotels, houses and little bijou shops (or so Tracy told me). Just beyond is the seafront and an endless ocean that stretches out to meet the horizon.
This is the first time I’ve seen the ocean, and for a while I just stare out at the dark blue expanse, mesmerised by just how big it is. The closest I’ve got to the ocean is the dirty grey-brown water of the River Thames. Not exactly comparable.
I lean my head against the windowpane, my breath misting up the glass as I take in the view. Today, the sky is clear and the sun warm and bright, that combined with the surrounding fields gives the impression of space and freedom. In reality, I’m just as trapped here as I would be if I were behind bars. It’s not as if we’re going to be given permission to leave the grounds, and I know from Annie that there’s a ten pm curfew. Apparently, the residential staff will do their rounds every evening at that time to ensure that we’re all in our rooms. Urgh. I do remember reading about the curfew from the welcome pack Annie shoved at me this morning when I got in the car, but that’s about it. Mainly, I just flicked through and mused over the fact whoever produced the brochure has made Oceanside out to be like some holiday park. The kids photographed on it are most definitely models handpicked to give a good impression. In fact, the whole thing had made me feel a little nauseous. I prefer honesty, not bullshit.
Pulling out my phone from my back pocket, I scroll through the texts. A couple are from Tracy wishing me good luck and asking me to stay out of trouble… I roll my eyes at that. Trouble seems to follow me wherever I go; she knows that better than anyone. I fire off a quick response, promising to call her as soon as I’ve settled in.
The rest of the messages are from Eastern.
U still mad?
I’m sorry I didn’t tell u sooner.
I knew u’d be pissed.
I know what we promised each other.
But u know I didn’t have a choice.
I don’t, Alicia…
Camden ain’t that bad. Seriously.
I snort at that one. Not bad? Yeah, right. He’s bad as bad can be, and that’s coming from me who’s on the wrong side of the line already.
Ok, maybe a little bit. But he looks after his own.
Fuck, Alicia I can’t believe u tried to punch him!
I grimace. It wasn’t the best decision I’ve ever made. In fact, in the cold light of day I know it’s the worst decision. Pretty sure I’ve made an enemy for life… it’s just as well I’m here then and Camden’s back in Hackney.
The drop-off will go okay…
“For fuck sake, Eastern,” I mutter, my throat suddenly constricting with worry. Eastern is part of the Hackney Hackers crew now. He’s drug running for Camden, the actual gang leader who I insulted. Will Eastern’s life be made hell just because he’s friends with me? I’ve put Eastern in an impossible position all because I couldn’t control my anger.
I promise not 2 get into any shit.
Well, not too much anyway…
Alicia… answer me.
Is your head still banging? Mine is. That shit was strong!
There are a lot of puke emojis after this message, but I refuse to smile at his change in tactics.
Are u going to ignore me 4ever?
I miss u.
My heart bleeds a little at that.
Fuck, Asia. I just want 2 talk.
Asia, I’m sorry I hurt u.
“I’m sorry too,” I mutter, sitting heavily on my unmade bed. How am I going to survive without him? How is he going to survive without me to look out for him? We’ve done it our whole lives. My eyes scan over several emoji messages until it falls on the final text he sent me this morning. This time my heart stops beating. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s twisting in a knot just like my stomach is right about now.
If it’s about the kiss…? About what I said…?
Shit.
I don’t want to talk about the kiss. I don’t want to talk about what he said to me at the party either. That’s a conversation I don’t need to have today of all days. I don’t know how I feel about it. Okay, that’s a lie, I do know how I feel about it. I feel messed up and confused. I liked kissing Eastern, but I shouldn’t have done it. My reaction to Opal throwing herself at him was proof enough of that.
“Friendzone, Asia… Fucking friendzone.” I say, reminding myself that there can never be a relationship between Eastern and me that goes beyond being best friends. Now what the hell do I say? After a minute of pacing up and down, I send a reply:
I’m not mad. I still think you’re an idiot for joining Camden’s crew coz he IS that bad. Guys like him don’t get to where they are being good, Eastern. You’re my friend, and I care about what happens to you. Let me settle in. I’ll try to call in a few days. Be safe.
I hit send. After a minute I can see that the message has been read, but after another five minutes of torture I give up waiting on a reply. Clearly, Eastern’s getting his own back but I’m not going to play that game. Stuffing my phone in my back pocket, I stride from the room, locking the door behind me.
Time to check out Oceanside Academy.
/> The residential annex has four floors. The ground floor houses the members of staff that sleep onsite, and the first, second and third floors house the students. There are fifteen rooms on the first and second floor and ten on the third, adding up to a grand total of forty. Assuming every room is a single, then that means there are just forty students. Forty students housed in this huge site. That should make me feel better, but somehow it doesn’t. You can’t get lost within forty students. You can’t keep your head down. Everyone is going to know everything, and that makes me more than a little uncomfortable.
When I head past the last set of rooms on the second floor to make my way back downstairs, I hear muffled laughter coming from room 225. A girl’s voice giggles whilst the deeper cadence of a male voice chuckles. The sound is strangely familiar. Pressing my ear up against the door, I listen. The giggles quickly turn into moans.
“Christ,” I mutter, stepping back. Don’t the adults who run this place realise how horny teenagers are? I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a lot more room hopping going on during my time here. Except I won’t be joining in. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no prude. I’ve had my fair share of sexual experiences, but I’m not about to jump in bed with any of these arseholes. I’m not that stupid. I could do without the complications.
“What the fuck are you doing?” A voice says from behind me. I turn around and come face to face with a mean looking kid with shaved hair and a grimace that could rival my own. He’s not much taller than me, but he’s wide and built like a brick shithouse with brown eyes that are almost black and a nasty scar running down his left cheek. He has pimpled skin making his pasty complexion look as angry as he does.
This kid is dangerous in a hit first, ask questions later kind of way. I’m betting he’d murder his own mother and laugh about it too.
“Well?” he snarls, poking his finger into my chest and shoving me back against the door. I hit it with a thud. Inside the room I can hear the female voice swearing whilst the male voice just chuckles. If I’m not mistaken, she’s just ordered him to climb out of the window.
“I’m Asia. You got a name?” I respond, evading his question entirely. I stand tall, pushing off against the door. He might be unhinged, but then again so am I if pushed too far. Besides, I’m not about to show any weakness on my first day here. I’m no fool, I get how it works. You’re weak, you get picked out from the crowd and crucified. Well, fuck that.
“I’ll ask once more, what are you doing listening at my girlfriend’s door?”
“Not entirely sure she’s your girlfriend anymore,” I retort with a smirk.
“What?!” he growls, shoving me out of the way. I step backwards and wait for the fallout. This should be interesting.
“Open the fucking door, Red!” he shouts, his meaty fists pounding against the door. His face has turned puce. Any second now one of those veins on his neck is going to pop. He continues to bash his fist against the door, and when it remains stubbornly shut, he starts to throw himself against it. Whoever the guy inside is, well, let’s just say he’s gonna lose his balls in the next five seconds.
With one last almighty thud, he throws his full weight against the door. It flies open, crashing against the wall as he stumbles forward landing face first on the carpet. The air rushes out of his lungs with a whoosh and the same girl who was standing outside the front of the academy when I arrived runs forward, fawning over him. Her hair is wrapped up in a towel and she’s wearing the same tank-top I’d seen her in earlier, paired now with just her knickers.
“Oh my god, Bram. What are you doing? I was in the shower!”
Her gaze meets mine and I roll my eyes. Yeah, right. I know what I heard. She was entertaining someone else. I bet that beautiful red hair is dry as a bone under that towel.
“What are you staring at, bitch?” she seethes as my grin widens. This should be interesting. I hope the guy in her room has found a good hiding spot.
“I was just telling Bram here how I heard some noises coming from your room. There was a lot of… moaning? Thought you might be in trouble,” I respond, shrugging my shoulders.
“Moaning?!” Bram rages, getting up onto his feet. “Who the fuck do you have in here with you, Red?!” He pushes past her and Red scowls at me. Her face in full-on bitch mode.
“What?” I question innocently. “This place is full of criminals, I thought you might be in trouble.”
“Bitch!” she bites out under her breath.
“Yeah, that one gets old,” I retort.
Red turns on her heel and rushes after Bram who is now tearing up her room, looking under her bed and yanking open her wardrobe. He heads into her bathroom and comes rushing out like he’s just about ready to explode. Woah! This guy’s unhinged.
“You lying bitch!” he roars, rushing towards Red. Only, he pushes past her and heads towards me. Behind him, Red is grinning maliciously. Great, her bit on the side must’ve climbed out of the window just like she’d asked him to do.
Now, I’m in trouble. Fucking perfect.
8
Bram rushes at me. Any sensible person would make a run for it, but I’m not sensible and I don’t run. Ever. Readying myself for the blow I know is coming, I curl my fists and wait.
Except his fist never meets my face. Instead, I find myself wedged between the wall and some dude that smells suspiciously of perfume and sex. From my position I can only see the back of his head and the broad width of his shoulders. He seems vaguely familiar, but I don’t have a chance to figure out why because before I’ve even had time to blink, Bram is laid out on the floor once again. I’ve no doubt Bram can throw a heavy punch, but only if he’s quick enough. The guy in front of me got in there first.
“Motherfucker!” Bram roars, as I peer around the shoulder of the guy standing in front of me. “That bitch is mine, Sonny!”
Sonny? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I peer out from behind my wannabe saviour and am greeted with the same cocky smile I remember from the courthouse. He winks at me.
“This bitch is no one’s arsehole,” I shout back, sidestepping Sonny. I hear him chuckle and I know he’s the guy who was in Red’s room not more than a couple of minutes ago. Blood is pouring from Bram’s nose and behind him Red is glaring at us both with wide eyes. She looks both impressed by Sonny’s show of manliness and horrified by the fact he’s defending me. Not that I need defending.
Her gaze flicks between us both and I glance at him again. He’s grinning widely, a toothpick of all things gripped between his teeth which he spits out before speaking. It lands on the floor inches from Bram.
“Back the fuck off. She’s with me,” he says lazily, dropping his arm around my shoulder. For a second, I’m too shocked to move. Overfamiliar much?
“With you?” Red snaps, her eyes narrowing at me. Jealousy slides across her features. It’s just as well she’s standing behind Bram because the way she’s looking at us both right now would give her feelings away in a second.
“Yep, that’s right. Sonny and I go way back,” I lie, leaning into his side a bit more as I look up at him and smile, playing along. I even press my hand against the firm muscles of his chest for good measure. Sonny’s blue eyes flash with interest and a little bit of intrigue, but he continues with the charade anyway.
Red makes a strange growling noise, then grabs hold of Bram’s arm and yanks him backwards into her room. “Come on baby, let me make you feel better, yeah?” she purrs, glaring at Sonny beside me who, it would seem, is entirely unimpressed.
“It ain’t over, Bitch. Come near me or Red again and I’ll make sure you know who’s the fucking boss around here,” Bram snaps, allowing Red to pull him into her room.
“You know it, Baby,” Red simpers, kissing Bram in full view of us and making a real good show of it. Eventually, Bram kicks the bedroom door shut and Sonny’s arm drops from around my shoulders.
“What a tramp,” I snort.
“You got that right… Fancy seeing you here,”
he adds, as he crosses his arms over his chest and grins at me with amusement. Ignoring him, I stride off down the hallway towards the stairs wondering how many other delinquents were saved from prison that day in the courthouse. Just my luck this arsehole has been sent here too.
“Hey, wait up. Why’re you in such a hurry? Don’t I get a kiss for saving your arse?”
“Yeah, like never,” I grind out. This guy is trouble with a capital T. I knew it at the courthouse, and I know it now. Deciding I’ve had enough excitement for one afternoon, I head back to my room instead of outside. “Besides, I don’t follow where skanks have been. Not my style to mess with the inmates, though I see you’ve made yourself at home already.”
“Inmates?” he barks out an amused laugh at that. “I don’t see the problem. I’m just getting the feel of the place.” He grins, running to catch up with me.
I cock an eyebrow, glancing at him as he steps in stride next to me. “Is Red the kind of girl you usually go for then?” I ask, surprising myself with such a probing question, given this guy is no more than a stranger and so damn full of himself that he’ll probably take it the wrong way.
