The man who I met in basic training, I trained with him, he was one of my best friends, and he’s dying before my eyes and there is nothing I can do to stop it. “I love you John Smith, You’re my brother, and you’re going home one way or another.” I promise him.
“Love you too Soph.” And just like that he’s gone.
I pull out of my memory, I wipe my tears. The girls are watching me, they are worried about me, I see it in their eyes. “I’m going to be okay, I promise.” I try to reassure them but they know me so well.
“We can come with you, just for support.” I give them a watery smile.
“This is why I love you guys. But it’s something I have to do by myself.” I can tell they want to say more but don’t. They get ready to leave when Winter turns around. I’m getting ready to brace myself for what shit is about to come out of her unfiltered mouth when she surprises me.
“I’m here for you even if you just want to cry on my shoulder.” I’m shocked; it’s been a long time since Winter has had a serious conversation, usually she has to add in a laugh or a bitchy comment.
“Yes, I can be nice.” Winter says, she must see the shocked look on my face. I laugh and go hug her. She hugs me back and I feel an arm around me and look, it’s Maddie, she’s hugging us both. Winter quickly pulls away. As they are leaving they promise that as soon as I’m up for it we’re going out on the town, dinner and dancing. Maddie however stays behind. Good, hopefully she can answer what’s happened to Winter.
“What’s wrong with Winter?” I ask her, she looks to the floor,
“I don’t know, this is the first time we’ve been in the same room in two years Soph, we don’t talk at all.” I’m so confused; we have always been best friends.
“What? Why? What the fuck happened?” she’s shaking her head.
“I don’t know Soph, we went out one night, ever since then she avoids me. I don’t know what I’ve done. She never speaks to me, she just stares and looks as though she wants to kill me. I’m tired of the bullshit. I’m tired of her acting like a selfish bitch that everything has to be about her, she has to be centre of attention. Maybe now that you’re back we can try and go back to normal.” I really do hope so. She hugs me and leaves.
I make it to Trinity Church Cemetery. It’s such a beautiful historic place. The burial grounds have been in use since 1697 and it’s now on the National Register of Historic Places. Yet I hate it. I make my way down towards the end of the cemetery. This is where John is buried. I kneel at his grave and make the sign of the cross. I read his headstone and I can’t stop the tears escaping my eyes, I couldn’t save him. My best friend is gone and I couldn’t do anything about it. I think back to the last time we were both state side. I stayed at his apartment. He was my anchor.
“Morning Soph, you’re up early, any coffee?” I pour him a cup and turn to face him, he’s in his boxers, I raise my brows, he just smirks. I hand him the coffee.
“We had an agreement asshole.” His smirk turns into a full-fledged smile. We agreed to be fully clothed when walking around the apartment.
“I know, but I had to escape the madness. Soph, you’ve got to help me. This chick is fucking mental.” I laugh at his facial expression; his eyes keep darting to the bedroom door, like he’s expecting her to appear any second.
“Sorry Smithy, you’re on your own. I told you the last time, that was it. You agreed. Sorry John, it’s time to man up.” I’m trying to hide my smile. He always gets into these situations.
“Please Soph, she’s talking about meeting her parents, why the fuck do I always attract the fucking clingers? The batshit crazy ones?” He looks so serious.
“You attract the crazies because you let your fucking dick lead you around. When the hell are you going to grow the fuck up Smithy? I will not get rid of this crazy for you.” I walk out of the kitchen and go to my room to get dressed.
I’m going to meet my brothers today, I’ve seen them twice since I’ve been home on leave, I’ve missed them like crazy. I walk into the kitchen to find Smithy cornered against the sink, this woman has him blocked. She is running her hands up and down his body, every time she gets close to his dick, he flinches away. Damn now I’m feeling sorry for the fucker. He spots me, his eyes pleading with me. I glare at the asshole. Fine. I take a deep breath and channel my inner actress.
“What the fuck John! Who the hell is this slut?” The woman in question jumps away from Smithy looking wide eyed.
“Baby, it’s not what it looks like, I promise.” He says and comes towards me, relief evident in his eyes.
“Oh, so that bitch didn’t have her hands on your dick? Was I just imagining that? You’re an asshole John. I can’t believe you would do this to us.” Damn I’m fucking good. I swear I should have been an actress.
“Baby, you have to believe me. It’s not what it looks like. I love you, you know that. I wouldn’t do anything to Jeopardize us.” He is actually speaking the truth, we do love each other, not in a sexual way. He means the world to me. I swing my gaze to the crazy person still standing in the apartment, she has her hands on her hips, she’s dying to say something.
“You lying cheating bastard! How dare you, we had the most amazing connection, how can you stand there and say that to her, you can’t love her, not after our connection. You’re lying, tell her the truth.” Holy fuck. This girl is crazy. I mean she needs to be institutionalized crazy!
“What are you talking about Sandy? We have no connection.” Smithy’s face is red; he can’t believe the crap coming out of this girl’s mouth either.
“Ugh! My name is Sierra. You told me I was perfect, that I was amazing. Why are you lying now?” she stamps her foot like she’s a three-year-old throwing a tantrum. Smithy looks like he wants to run. Time for me to step in. He owes me big time.
“Look, Sandy. He doesn’t feel for you the way you feel for him. You only met him last night, where you proceeded to spread your legs. Now in my opinion, that is a sexual connection. But you could have that with your mailman as well as a dozen other men. To know if you have a proper connection, well that won’t happen unless you go on a date and I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but that won’t be happening.” I’m such a bitch, I know her name is Sierra, but she’s annoying, and it’s fun to fuck with people.
“MY NAME IS SIERRA!!” Geez she doesn’t need to scream.
“Why can’t we go on a date? It’s not up to you, it’s up to John.” I look at John and raise my brows, he never gives a woman his first name, he shakes his head in the negative. Ah the crazy got it from me. Oops. Smithy stays silent, he’s staring at her like she’s about to bite any second.
“He can’t go on a date with you because he promised our daughter that she would be the only lady he would take on a date besides me. Now that you have finished trying to be a home wrecker can you please leave?” Smithy swings his head to me in shock, we have never gone this far before. Sierra’s eyes glass over like she’s about to cry.
“Oh you have a child?” She seems shocked, Smithy just nods.
“Okay, but when you are able to date, can you call me? I’d love to be a mother. It was a pleasure John. I hope to hear from you soon.” She then walks up to him and kisses him. He stands still like a moron.
When she finally pries herself away from him and leaves, he faces me.
“Daughter? We have a daughter? What the hell is wrong with you?” What the fuck?
“Are you serious? What is wrong with me? That fucking crazy was in my home. She wouldn’t have left otherwise. She wants you.” I’m still in shock, I have never met a certified crazy before.
“This is not funny Soph. That woman scares the ever loving shit out of me. We’re moving.” I burst out laughing. Aw bless him, my big bad soldier is scared of a tiny woman.
“I’ve got to go. Next time, think with your other head. Stop being led by your dick.” He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me and lifts me off the ground while hugging me.
“You are the best Soph, I love you. Thank you.” I hug him back. I love how sweet he gets.
“I love you too Smithy.”
“I love you John ‘Smithy’ Smith. You will always hold a place in my heart that will never change. I’m so sorry I failed you. I will see you soon. Bye Smithy.” The tears fall silently.
Then I make my way up towards another grave, this grave I hate coming to. I’ve been to the grave four times in the past five years. This grave is the reason I ran towards the army as fast as I could. I look at the headstone, and I talk to it.
“Hi mom, I know I’ve been a terrible daughter. It’s hard coming to see you like this, knowing the first person to show me kindness is no longer alive, it hurts.” I sit at the grave just looking at it. I don’t know how much time has passed, but I get up to leave, “I’ll be back soon mom, I promise. I love you, I miss you.” I wipe my eyes and head back to my car. Whichever dickhead said it gets easier with time was a lying bastard.
My mom died from cancer when I was 17, that was eight years ago, I still haven’t fully come to terms with it. I know you’re meant to grieve, and I have to a certain extent, but how do you grieve the loss of someone you owe your life to?
I remember the day she told us she had cancer.
Mom and dad have called a family meeting and we’re all currently sitting around the kitchen table. Mom loves the kitchen, she says it’s the heart of the house, the walls are a soft yellow and the cupboards are white with a yellow trim. I have a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, something is wrong.
“So we have something to tell you, we have been hoping we wouldn’t have to, but we have no choice.” The words seem to catch in her throat, her once long blond hair is now shorter with grey streaks, she says they add to her looks. Dad reaches over and takes her hand, he brings the back of it to his mouth and places a kiss on it. He looks ready to cry.
“My beautiful babies, I’m so proud of each and every one of you, I want you to know that no matter what happens I’ll always be proud of you and I’ll always love you.” That bad feeling, I felt, it’s turned into a tight knot. I look around the table, dad’s still holding mom’s hand, his head is bowed, he’s not looking at any of us. Luke looks worried and Scott looks confused.
“This is so hard for me to say. I have stage four ovarian cancer, by the time it was caught it was too late, stage 4 means it has spread to other organs. It has spread to my liver. I had a 17 percent chance of a relative five-year survival rate. That means 17 percent of the time I’ll live for five years. However, when I went back to the doctors, it had spread even more, they are giving me a year at the most. I never wanted to tell you if there was a good chance at survival.” She has tears in her eyes as she tells us.
I take a look around the table: Luke is crying his head buried in his hands, Scott is frozen to the spot, just sitting there, white as a sheet and tears running down his face. I look at dad whose head is still bowed, his shoulders are shaking, he’s crying silently. Finally, I take another look at mom, she is staring at me.
“Baby, it’s going to be all right, you have your dad, Luke and Scott. I promise baby, it’s going to be okay.” I laugh, it’s a sad laugh.
“It’s not going to be okay, you’re not going to be here, how will anything be okay? Mom you’re dying, you’re leaving us, and you’re never coming back.” She starts crying harder, dad’s head pops up and I see the tears in his eyes. Both Luke and Scott are sobbing hard, I can’t take it.
“Look around mom, does this look like it’s going to be all right? You promised us that you would protect us from anyone who tries to harm us, but you can’t, you dying is what’s hurting us. Nothing is ever going to be okay ever again.” She looks like I slapped her. She gets up and walks over to me. I can’t take it, I stand up and place my hands in front of me, a silent plea for her to stop, she does. I take the opportunity to run. I leave the house and run all the way to Winter’s.
Winter opens the door, she takes one look at me and holds her arms open. I run into them and break. I crumble to the ground, sobbing my heart out. Winter sits down next to me and takes me into her arms.
“I’m sorry Soph.” I nod; I don’t know what to say to her, we sit like this for a while.
“What am I going to do Wints, she saved me, but I can’t save her. I hurt so bad. My heart feels as though it’s splitting in two.” Winter doesn’t say anything; she just strokes my hair, trying to soothe me.
I stayed at Winter’s that evening, she held me throughout the night when I woke up with nightmares, she was my go to person when things got rough. I didn’t accept mom was dying for a long time. It was finally when I saw the weight loss and the pain in her eyes that I finally accepted the truth, my mom was dying. Four months after she announced to us she had cancer, she died. We all were wrecks. But my dad, he was our rock.
I cannot imagine the pain he went through, burying his wife and trying to help his kids heal. I miss her every day and I don’t think that will ever change.
Her funeral was hard, none of us had spoken much since she died. We all went on separately, I still hadn’t come to terms with the fact she had died.
I kept thinking she would come back, even now I still have hope, I know she’s dead, but knowing and accepting are two completely different things.
Chapter Four
Nathan
“Why, does she stick her tits in my face every time she gives me something?” I ask my friend and work colleague Connor Murphy.
“Because she thinks sleeping with the boss will give her some sort of self-worth.” Ah that sarcastic, bitchy reply came from my sister Katrina or Kat as we all call her.
“Yeah Nath, she just wants you to screw her so she can act as though she is better than all of us.” There comes Connor’s answer. He always has to have the last word.
“Jesus, do you two have to gang up on me, I haven’t, and won’t ever sleep with Selena, she is an employee and I’m not attracted to her.” I see the sparkle in my sister’s eye, “I’m not interested in Scarlett either Kat.” So she pouts, immature as always.
I run a multi-million-dollar private investigator and bodyguard service company. What Connor doesn’t know is, I’m making him a partner. He’s been with me from the very beginning.
I didn’t want to be a cop; I went straight to Quantico. You’re not meant to become a special agent until you are twenty-three, but because I was so determined, also dad was friends with the director at the time. I managed to get in. I trained as an FBI agent, I was young only 18 but I was one of the best. It was going great, until the Lawson case. David Lawson haunts my dreams constantly. He’s the one that needed to be caught sooner than he was. He is the man that killed at least ten children aged between three and eleven and is suspected of at least six more. That case broke me. I couldn’t act as though being part of the FBI was what I wanted anymore. I couldn’t deal with the fact that we were always late, the kids were already dead and we were called in too late to stop it.
I wanted to help and protect people. Connor and I trained as PIs and Bodyguards. We trained with the best PI around; Shaw, no first name, just Shaw, we were with him for three full years. See the requirement to obtain a New York PI licence is you have to have trained and been employed for three years with a licensed PI, then you have to be 25 to take the test. So, the day I turned 25 I took my test, I passed with flying colors. The body guard training was only a few months, but the PI training helped.
Three weeks after my 25th birthday I purchased a Building that overlooks the Manhattan Skyline. My Grandparents left each of their grandkids money, mine went into my business. It took six months to fully set up, we did it though, P.I.G.S was born, Private Investigative Guard Services.
I’m fucking proud of me and my boys, we are the very best of the best. We are the go to PI and bodyguards in New York, hell anyone on the East coast needing a PI or Bodyguard comes to us. I have 10 men working for me, including Connor. Connor is second in command, then
there is Dwayne, he’s our tech guy, he can get in and out of the NSA Database in less than 10 seconds and he’s never been caught. Then I have Tommy, Scott, Liam, Drake, Andy, Jamie, Asher and Selena.
“Aww come on Nath, you need to get laid, we should go out on the town.” Typical Connor, ladies’ man, he’s interested in fucking and that’s it. I’ve had enough of the easy lays, I want a proper relationship, I want a woman who will accept me for who I am, not the money I make.
My office door opens and in walks Brody. He’s my older brother, he’s also a detective with NYPD. “Did you lose your hand?” He looks down at his hand, the fucking moron.
“No why.” Is he for real? Seriously he must have been dropped a few times when he was a baby, it’s the only reason I can think he’s this freaking dumb.
“You didn’t knock you moron.” He looks at me like I’m the mental one.
“I don’t need to knock, we’re brothers.” Like that makes everything okay. Seriously I’m reckoning dad dropped him because I don’t think mom could have because she likes him too much. I love him, I really do, but he really does annoy the ever loving shit out of me.
“Whatever, what do you want?” He looks around and notices Kat, he walks over and side hugs her, she rolls her eyes like she always does.
“Mom asked me to tell you that you had better be there for dinner.” Never, and I mean never, disappoint Kitty Slade, she is hell on wheels.
“I won’t, now all of you leave and let me get to work.”
Kat’s the first one to leave, tossing over her shoulder “I’ll see you tonight, don’t be late.” I just give her a look.
“Later Nath.” That’s Connor leaving, so I’m staring at Brody, wondering why he’s still here.
“Yo, Brods, you need anything else?” I startle him.
“Huh? What? Uh... No, later Nath.” Then he leaves. Finally, I have some peace, well until I go to my parents.
Deadly Hunt (Deadly #1) Page 3
