He peeked over the lip of his tray. “Riley… before you take off your shirt and try to strangle me with it—which wouldn’t be a bad way to go, by the way—will you just listen to what I’ve got to say?”
“Why, Mort? Why did you go back to Orion?” I snapped, clutching at my sides to calm the burning sensation of every rasped breath.
“I wanted to destroy him from the inside,” Mort whispered, “which you’d have known sooner if you hadn’t been trying to use me as a dartboard.”
I frowned, coming closer, prompting him to lift the tray back over his face. “I don’t believe you.”
“Not my problem, sweetheart, but it’s the truth,” he fired back, same as ever. “I wanted to destroy Orion from the inside, but things didn’t exactly go as planned.”
“How did they even let you in here? Ezra has to know you’re a traitor by now. I mean, there’s no way you’ve gotten away with the Doctor Ulani disguise again.”
“I’ll have you know this disguise works all the time,” he said, arching an eyebrow. “All right, most of the time. Maybe, like, 25 percent of the time. Anyway, I didn’t know they were bringing you in, otherwise I’d have picked something else. I hate to repeat a performance. It’s just lazy showbiz.”
“Mort!” I’d been back in a room with him for two minutes, and already he was testing my patience.
“Fine. I tried sneaking into Orion’s office disguised as Doctor Ulani, but a bunch of shifters ratted me out and I got captured,” he said, reluctantly. “Most coldbloods can’t tell shifters apart, which is frankly insulting, but I couldn’t talk my way out of it by pretending to be someone else. Shocking, I know. Anyway, he couldn’t decide what to do with me, so he threw me in prison. When those friendly neighborhood Feds started bombing the living hell out of the rebel base, it knocked down my cell door and I made a run for it.”
“Yes, but how did you get here?”
“Jeez, impatient much?”
“It’s not like I have an abundance of time, since they want to cook a baby inside me ASAP!”
His eyes widened. “Fair point. Well, I killed some random coldblood and tried to pass myself off as him for a bit, but when I tried to look for Orion—post stirring rooftop speech, of course; wouldn’t want to interrupt that—I heard that some human broad and her bit of grayskin stuff had snatched him and swept him off to Fed HQ.”
“Sorry for the inconvenience,” I replied dryly.
“Anyway, I kept my ears peeled on old Ezticles and overheard him talking about the deal for Orion, or lack thereof,” he went on. “Knowing what was about to go down at the base, I cut my losses and snuck onto his secret little ship, watched the fireworks with that nasty implosion bomb for a bit, and hitched a ride out here to what I like to call the ‘Invisible Spinning Harbinger of Doom.’”
I smirked a little. “That’s a mouthful.”
“Do you know what else is a—”
“Say one more word and I will strangle you to death,” I warned him.
“Ah yes, Captain Buzzkill. How could I have forgotten you?”
It was hard not to laugh, knowing I had to stay mad at him. He could see my resolve cracking slightly, but I was determined not to let down my guard—not to Mort, not to anyone. Navan was the only exception.
“Anyway, he found me lurking in his storage cupboards and got super pissed that I’d a) dared to come back to the rebellion at all, b) that I’d dared to hide on his ship and tried to sneak on board his brand-spanking-new space station, and c) that I’d ruined his alphabetized storage system and left a little surprise behind his weapons crates.”
I wrinkled my nose up in disgust. “Mort!”
“What? I was hiding for a long time.”
“How could he have possibly let you live after that?”
Mort grinned. “Once I told him who I was, Aurelius got all excited. They discussed some creepy little idea about blending a baby, which I didn’t quite grasp at the time, while Aurelius explained that I’d been undercover as a doctor at Gianne’s palace. Ezra asked me about it and I threw in a couple white lies about spending time in maternity wards, delivering babies, thinking it was what he might want to hear.” He chuckled. “And here I am, ready to help, safest hands in the business.”
“Just when I thought this whole situation couldn’t get any more ridiculous,” I muttered.
“Anyway, Ezra will probably kill me once I’ve exceeded my usefulness, so I need you to make it look like I know what I’m doing… buy me some more of that sweet, sweet time.” He let out a sigh of relief as he shifted back to his normal self. “Now, why don’t you hop up on the bed, and we’ll get this thing started?”
I shook my head. “No way. You’re not going anywhere near me, safe hands or not.”
“You know, the rebels aren’t as smart as they look, which isn’t saying much,” he continued, ignoring me entirely as he started to put on latex-like gloves. “They keep saying human and coldblood processes are the same, and that we don’t need to check anything, which is why none of the rebel medics are eager to examine you. Ezra is the one you can blame for this—I mean, aside from the obvious—since he’s the one who insisted on a health check. Personally, I think the medics are just terrified of examining an irate and naked human woman.”
“I’m surprised you aren’t shaking in your boots.”
He grinned. “See, that’s the thing about shifters. We don’t wear boots.”
“What, so you’re telling me you’re not scared about delivering a baby?”
“Me? I’m terrified, same as everyone else! I keep imagining there’ll be some tentacled alien down there, ready to snap at my face and reel me in.”
My cheeks grew hot with anger and embarrassment. “Well, you don’t need to worry because you aren’t getting a look down there!”
He laughed at my misery. “Riley, you look mortified. Are you? Are you mortified?”
I wasn’t sure whether he was genuinely trying to cheer me up with his usual brand of terrible humor, or if he really was enjoying my despair. It was hard to tell with shifters; they were tricky to read at the best of times. Even so, the thought of Mort assuming the mantle of gynecologist was enough to strip me of any remaining glimpse of humor I might have had left, after everything that had happened today.
“Human and coldblood anatomy actually aren’t that different, so there’s no need for you to go snooping,” I insisted, remembering what Kaido had said about our two species. He’d told me we shared a lot of similar characteristics, though some of our brain chemistry responded in a directly opposite fashion, like we were two sides of the same coin.
“Probably for the best. I don’t have the same constitution I used to have. I’d probably take one look and it’d knock me sick,” Mort conceded casually. “Ever since I stopped eating humans, I’ve come to admire you as sentient, intriguing creatures instead of merely a food source. I think that’s what the trouble is. If I still saw you as a slab of meat and blood, I’d have no problem looking at your nethers.”
“Don’t say ‘nethers’ in my presence, ever again.” Through my lingering irritation, I tried not to smile, but part of me was glad to see a familiar face.
“Muffin? Hoo-ha? Lady garden? Gentleman’s excuse-me? Although, I may be getting my bits mixed up there.”
I nearly choked on my own saliva. “Let’s just dispense with anatomical words altogether, shall we? I’m not sure I can cope with hearing any more come out of your mouth.”
“Lightened the mood, though, right?” he said brightly. “Now then, if I’m to have the coveted honor of being your midwife, I’m going to need you to answer a few questions before I run some tests. Don’t worry, we can skip the ones that involve nudity.” He pulled a face of mock disappointment. “Once we’re done with that, I’ll be out of your hair—the kind on your head, of course.”
For the second time that day, I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Maybe seeing a familiar face in a situation like this wasn�
�t such a nice thing after all. It was like having a lewd, inappropriate family friend as a doctor.
“Shall we begin?” he asked.
“Might as well.”
He went through the rigmarole of asking my age, weight, and height, before checking my blood pressure with a contraption he barely knew how to use. Wrangling it off my arm, he threw it to one side like it was a wild snake and picked up his flat tablet device. “Now, when was the last time you had your… menses? I trust your kind have those?”
I nodded, thinking back to the cramps that had come on suddenly the other day. In fact, they’d been plaguing me for days, but nothing had come of them. Usually, it was one day of terrible pain and then, bingo, my period arrived. But it had yet to rear its irritating head.
You have been under a lot of stress, though—that can sometimes delay it, I thought. But then my mind trailed back to the night Navan and I had spent in each other’s arms, forgetting about the herbs entirely. There had been a few occasions, in all honesty.
How could you have been so stupid? This time, it wasn’t my voice echoing in my head, but the voice of my birthmother.
“Do you have any pregnancy tests here?” I whispered, feeling very vulnerable.
Mort frowned. “I have to do the checkup before the two of you can get…” He paused, realization dawning on his face. “Oh, I see. Yes, of course. The medics showed me which one to use to check for pregnancy hormones in the bloodstream.” He hurried over to one of the cabinets and took down a packaged kit. Inside, there was a small green disc with a tiny circular screen on top. “Can’t be too hard, right? Even an idiot like me can use one of these.” He looked more nervous than I felt as his shaking hands opened the packet and took out the disc.
“Does it hurt?”
He smiled. “You’ll feel a small prick, that’s all.”
I knew he had to be truly terrified if he could pass up the opportunity of a joke like that. It didn’t even register on his face, his eyes turned solemnly downward at the green disc as he figured out the instructions. I wanted to encourage him to say something, to bring some level of normalcy back to the room, but I couldn’t bring myself to utter a word. My heart was thundering, my stomach churning, my lungs clamped in a vise-like grip.
“Ready?” he asked.
I nodded.
He pressed the disc to the crook of my elbow and clicked two buttons on the side. It reminded me of the broken compass, which had been shattered in the fight with Ezra. As he held the two buttons, I felt a tiny nip as the needle bit into my skin, but it barely lasted a second. Once it was done, he removed the device and laid it flat on the table, his gaze fixed to the small screen on top of the disc.
Thirty seconds later, a symbol flashed. “What does it say?”
Mort looked up, his expression unclear. “Riley… I’m sorry, but you’re already pregnant.”
Without a word, I burst into tears, not knowing what to think or how to feel. It was already too late for this little person growing inside me; there was nothing I could do for it now, even though I was supposed to be its mother. Me, a mother? I couldn’t wrap my head around it, much less begin to process the news.
“It’s all going to be okay, Riley,” Mort said softly.
Unable to form any kind of response, I became aware of a hand on my back, rubbing soothing circles across my shoulders. There were no jokes from Mort, no quips, no smart remarks. In fact, he seemed scared, too.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
I didn’t fight back as the guards escorted me back to the white, sterile bedroom that would be my home for however long it took to grow this baby.
The prospect of becoming a mother at nineteen should’ve freaked me out, but I found myself struggling with mixed emotions. Part of me was overwhelmed with a surprising happiness, envisioning the tiny life growing inside me—one that belonged to me and Navan—while the other part of me was in a state of absolute panic and despair. The child didn’t quite belong to me, or us, and that fact gnawed away at the back of my mind. Ezra and Aurelius would claim my child as a product, a thing, to be harvested for its blood, used in the name of a successful immortality elixir, and I would never see it again. It would be torn away from my arms, leaving me to imagine the unthinkable torture it would have to endure, while I waited my turn.
I wasn’t sure we could’ve picked a worse time to bring a child into the world, what with the war and Earth’s uncertain future. This child was at the center of it all, and it had no idea how important it was. It was going to be hard, but I knew I had to tell Navan about the baby. It wasn’t like I could hide a bump from him for nine months… or however long it took to gestate a half-breed baby.
Whatever you do, don’t get attached, I thought, lifting a subtle hand to my stomach and feeling for any roundedness. It was probably too early, but I wanted to be sure. A small smile turned up the corners of my lips at the thought of the tiny creature inside, warm and snug in my womb. In that moment, I knew it was already too late; I was already completely in love with the child. It had been created, against all odds, against all possibility, by Navan and me. How could I not love it, after it had defied so much?
Thinking back to the symbol that had flashed up on the small screen, revealing my surprise pregnancy, I wondered what gender the baby might be. It was probably too early to tell, but it didn’t stop me from thinking about what it might be like to have one or the other. Honestly, it didn’t matter much to me, so long as the child was healthy.
Which is precisely what they want—a healthy baby, first time around, my brain chattered, sending a shiver of dread up my spine. Ezra, Aurelius, and I wanted the same thing, but for very different reasons. Maybe it was better that I didn’t know the sex of the baby. At the very least, it would stop me from getting even more attached. The worst thing I could do would be to start coming up with names and picturing the way he or she might look. No, it was definitely for the best that I didn’t know yet, though whether I could combat my curiosity for the rest of the pregnancy, I wasn’t sure. I reasoned it might be a surprise to look forward to.
Before they take your child away, you mean? The voices in my head seemed to be getting louder, fed by my overwhelming fears.
Suddenly, I remembered what Kaido had told me about coldblood females being able to delay the gestation of a child, shifting the pregnancy to a time that better suited them. It was undoubtedly a purposeful design by nature, to assist Vysantheans in continuing their existence on their barren, bitter planet. In days gone by, if there was no food or shelter around, it would’ve been even harder to carry a child. At least by delaying a pregnancy, they would have increased their chances of offspring surviving.
I wondered if the same might be true in my case, too, considering the baby’s genetic makeup. Then again, maybe I’d have to be Vysanthean to have that option. I made a mental note to ask Navan what he knew about it, as soon as I was safely back inside my minimalist, tastefully designed prison cell.
We hadn’t even reached the door yet, and I was already nervous at the thought of telling Navan what was happening. I had no clue how he’d react, especially given our circumstances. Had it been a happy accident elsewhere, I knew he might have been pleased, but this was a different ballgame altogether. This was as heartbreaking as it was heartwarming.
As the retinal scan flashed across the eyeball of one of the guards, the heavy doorway opened on Navan pacing across the floor by the porthole. In the pristine white walls of the bedroom around him, there were a few gaping holes that hadn’t been there when I’d been taken away. Presumably, they had met the power of Navan’s exasperated fists.
He looked up as I entered, rushing over as the doorway closed behind me, leaving us in private. His arms slid around me, his hands gripping me so hard I was almost worried about the baby.
“Are you okay? What happened? Did they do anything to you? If they did, you have to tell me, because I’m going to—”
I lifted up on tiptoe and kissed him gently, si
lencing his tirade. “They didn’t do anything to me, because I wouldn’t let them. When I got to the clinic, good old Doctor Ulani was waiting for me.”
Navan frowned. “Doctor Ulani?” It took a second for the pieces to slot together. “Mort is here?!”
“He told a few enormous lies to Ezra about delivering babies on Vysanthe and managed to weasel his way into a medical position. Apparently, nobody on board wants to deal with an irate, naked human woman.” It was supposed to be a joke, but Navan didn’t take it that way.
“Naked?” Without warning, Navan punched the nearby wall, the plaster crumbling beneath his fist to reveal the metal beneath.
“Hey, hey, hey, stop that. It was just a joke. I’d never have allowed Mort—or anyone else—to see me naked,” I murmured, taking his hand and bringing it to my lips, kissing his torn and bloodied knuckles tenderly. “Remember what we said before, about using violence? It has to be a last resort, nothing else. Otherwise, we’ll end up caught in this endless cycle of destruction. I know you’re not that kind of person. You told me so yourself; that’s not who you want to be.”
Navan shook his head, his entire body vibrating with anger. “Right now, I don’t care what I said about violence. I’m sick of these punks strutting around, thinking they can do what they like, when they like, with whom they like!” he spat, his eyes glittering darkly. “They shove us in here and tell us to start going at it, to create some child that they’re just going to drain and discard, like a packet of blood from a blood bank back home! They say that, and you expect me to be calm? When it comes to those bastards, all I can think about is violence.”
“Navan, I need you to calm down.” I held tight to his hand, trying to get him to stand still so he could look at me for a moment. I was about to tell him. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn’t get them to come out. He was too mad—this wasn’t how I wanted it to be.
“I can’t!”
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