by Tina Gower
He snorted. “And all other wolves are liars? How many do you even know?”
“Plenty. Trust me, Cujo. I know a lot about wolves, and I don’t like that you’re using Kate’s ignorance to dance around her like this. You have to tell her.”
“I’m not using her, okay?” He shrugged, slinking down the steps. “I honestly didn’t know about the marking thing. I’ll try to make it stop…or whatever.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Make it stop…or whatever.” She lowered her voice in the worst impression of his slow drawl he’d ever heard. “Oh my hells, you don’t know. Do you?”
The heat hit right in the center of him. There were a lot of things he didn’t know about being a wolf, courtesy of being adopted. His dads had done the best they could even though everyone—everyone—had told them countless times they had no business raising a wolf.
He shoved himself from the rail, bumping her aside. “I have to finish my shift. Next time I’ll call you to come get her.”
“Becker, wait, I didn’t mean…hey, don’t freak out.” With slippers instead of real shoes, she couldn’t keep up. “Maybe you should come to dinner tonight!” she called down the stairs.
He threw himself into the car and started the engine, checking his rearview mirror to be sure she wasn’t doing something stupid like using her body as a roadblock. Nope. All clear. He backed out and drove off.
He only circled the block a dozen times before heading to the station.
Chapter 4
The hard-on again. This time while trying to sleep the morning after back-to-back shifts. And just as unwelcome as the last. Yep, welcome back to pack life.
Thoughts of Kate close and near were clogging his senses. His muscles kept cramping up and loosening, and his legs would kick out involuntarily as if he needed to run, but didn't have the strength to do it. He shoved his pillows aside, sat up in his bed. He'd known this phase was coming. Maybe that was why he stopped sleeping in the break room. How exactly would he explain the amount of masturbation it would take to bring him back to a normal, functional level?
A blush kept up his chest and into his cheeks. Gods, he hated this. He’d promised Kate what they were doing wasn’t sexual. The last time he’d done this, integrated with a pack, it wasn’t. He didn’t fantasize about his pack mates like he fantasized about Kate. Yeah, he'd had the unpleasant physical stuff—including the unpredictable arousal—but this was different.
He took a long shower to take care of the problem, but afterward he didn’t feel like sleeping. Unless it involved Kate tucked into his side, his body wasn’t interested.
His doorbell rang. Not his real doorbell—he didn’t have one of those. Lipski was about two blocks away, though, announcing his arrival with his car horn. Two short beeps, one long one. Their signal.
He slid open his window kitchen. “I’m alone,” he said, aiming his words in Lipski's direction.
“Are you sure? I don’t really want to walk into anything.”
Despite the clatter of early-morning traffic, birds chirping, leaf blowers, and tractors in the fields across from Sugar Hill—The gated clump of oddly designed homes where Ian’s old pack house was located—it didn’t take much to filter out Lipski’s baritone from the noise pollution. Why bother using cell phones when he and his partner both had enhanced hearing?
“Fuck you.” Because Lipski had hit a little too close to the truth.
“I’d like a better call sign. That one’s getting on my nerves.”
The tones of Lipski tapping in the Sugar Hill gate code filtered in through the window, followed by his car pulling into the guest lot. A few minutes after that, he walked through the door. No need to knock when one of them knew the other was coming. Maybe a bad habit in their relationship, but it worked.
“Put on your shirt, kid. We got Liza going in to the interview room at nine and Wu says he’ll let us both take a crack at her.” He gave Ian the once-over. “Wow, I got to say that diet and exercise thing is really working for you.” He crossed his arms and tilted his head. “Come on, who’s the girlfriend? It’s not anyone at the precinct. I put Donna on the lookout and she says nobody is fessing up. So someone outside of work? Good job, kid. Don’t shit where you eat and all that.”
Ian ducked into his room to an Angel's Peak Police Department t-shirt and matching baseball hat to shield his eyes. And to think. He’d told Kate he’d keep their arrangement a secret because he didn't want his bosses to know how badly he needed pack to function normally. In truth, it would have kept Lipski off his back and made his dads content to know he was in a relationship, but it didn’t work at all for Kate to be involved with a co-worker. Their entire agreement had to stay confidential.
He tugged the shirt over his head and stepped back into the living room, his teeth gritted. “All right, I’ll introduce you to my girlfriend.” He held out his right palm. “Would it help if I drew a face on her?” And ignored the flush of heat in his face. Damn it, he hoped Kate appreciated the humiliation he was going through.
Lipski made a face and backed up a step. “No need to be crude. It would just be good for you if you had someone, okay? Werewolves need to release tension every so often. I know you’re not the typical girl-to-girl-to-guy type of wolf, but a relationship would help you. Think about it.”
Ian grabbed his duffle. He’d washed his uniform after curling up with it in his bed last night. It smelled like Kate, and he needed to get her smell out or he’d be thinking about her all day at work, which wouldn’t be good if he was going to avoid turning up at her house again.
Her cousin was right. There was something strange about the obsession he’d developed. He wanted excuses to see her again. He’d find himself near her part of town if he didn’t concentrate on where he was going. He’d avoided her work, but…
Crap. He needed to pick up some files from her office. Not an excuse to see her, but for real. He’d told Miles he’d look over a case and that had been yesterday. The guy was going to think he wasn’t a good liaison.
They walked to Lipski’s car, but Ian broke off at the last minute and motioned to his own vehicle. “Actually, I’ll meet you there. I need to pop over to Accidental on the way and pick up some files.”
“Sure, kid. Don’t be late.”
“Of course.”
He breathed a sigh of relief that Lipski hadn’t noticed the anxiety laced in his voice. He didn’t want to bother Kate at work, but it was his job to consult on the cases Accidental Death Predictions left for him. He’d been placed in the liaison role to prep him for when he passed his detective’s exam. A show of faith from the department that they considered him a top candidate. A way to ease him back into the fold after his suspension.
His suspension… He was lucky it had only been six months. He'd missed his pack. He was too much wolf to live without one. He'd always heard grief was supposed to get easier with time, but instead he’d dealt with increasingly horrible withdrawals and physical side-effects. With each passing day, month, year, the problem had become more pronounced until he couldn’t hold it in any longer, and he’d become reliant on alcohol to fill in the gaps where pack should have been. In the end, Lipski had had to call Ian’s dads to pick him up and get him straight again.
Before all that, he’d been a model cop. Not a team player by any means, but he'd solved cases better than anyone else on the force. Might have been because of his wolf abilities. Anyway, it had kept Angel’s Peak Police Department interested in his future. Now was his chance to show them they could trust him.
Going through Predictions security was easier than it should have been. They had the worst setup imaginable. The guard barely even acknowledged his badge when he buzzed him in, and one of the cameras in the elevator was pointed too high. He climbed up and tilted it down. Hells, he needed to go through this entire building and re-vamp it. He wouldn’t be here all the time to keep watch. If someone got to Kate…
Er, well, anyone in Predictions would be at risk. Not
just Kate. He shook his head to clear his thoughts, then followed the hallway until he got to the doors that housed Accidental Death Predictions. Pushing through, he was greeted with the hum of the main office hub. Yang, the office assistant, tapped away at her computer.
“Picking up files,” he announced.
“Yeah. Gotcha.” She waved him along.
Shit. He needed to talk to her too. She was in the perfect position to warn the rest of the office if someone unwelcome came through. Maybe a silent emergency button under her desk?
He marched to the file center where the actuaries placed files in various stages, using some color-coded system he had no clue how to decipher. All he had to worry about was the box marked LIASON CONSULT. He unlocked it and grabbed the full set of files it contained, belatedly realizing that from this section of the office he had a perfect view of Miles’s and Kate’s offices directly across from one another.
Miles waved from his glass dungeon and Ian waved the files over his head to let him know he'd gotten them. Miles went right back to work, leaving Ian free to let his gaze wander across the way to Kate’s desk.
She wasn’t there. He should have been relieved, but instead his chest ached, right in the center. He wouldn’t have disturbed her. He just wanted a glimpse of her. A second.
Maybe it was a sign he should keep to himself.
He tucked the file under his arm and circled around the cubby maze to find his way out. But the creak of the office supply door caught his attention as he passed it and someone cleared her throat. Kate.
“Becker. Pst. Becker.” She was glaring at him through the sliver of the open door. “What are you doing here?”
He tilted his head, almost forgetting himself why exactly he was there. Then he grasped the files and held them out. “Working.” He lowered his eyes and glanced around.
“Don’t bring attention to yourself. Get in here.” Her arm snaked out from the supply closet and she pulled him in. She shut the door behind her and leaned her back against it, palms flat.
Alone. In a dark room. With Kate. He tried not to breath in her vanilla coconut scent, but it was futile. She took up every space in the room even when she didn’t mean to do it. She might as well have wrapped herself around him. He stood completely still, afraid of what he’d do if he were allowed free range. Without enhanced vision like his, she wouldn't even be able to see him coming.
She frowned. “Did Gretchen ask about me?”
“I haven't talk to Gretchen.”
“Good. Don’t talk to Gretchen.”
“But…I’m the liaison. I'll have to talk to her eventually.” He hid a smile.
“Right. About work. Talk to her about that. Don’t mention me though. We don’t want to clue them in. You can’t seem like you're giving me special treatment.”
He didn’t know about that. He was already escorting her home when she fell asleep at hospitals visiting past cases.
As if he’d read her mind, her shoulders sagged. “About last night. I’m sorry about my cousin. She told me you brought me home.”
“Don’t be sorry.” He set the files on a cabinet and nearly pulled her into an embrace, but he caught himself in time and put his hands behind his back so he wouldn’t be tempted to touch her.
She massaged the bridge of her nose, apparently not noticing his near misstep. “If she hadn’t been there you could have, you know, done your thing.”
“My thing?”
“Pack snuggling thing.”
Thank gods they were in the closet. In the dark. He could feel his blush clear up to his eyebrows. He’d been thinking of something else he wanted to do to her. It was wildly inappropriate for the workplace. Then he realized in this closet he could easily do the reel of acts running through his imagination.
“That’s not why I brought you home. I didn’t give you a ride in exchange for, uh, snuggling—”
She snorted, and covered her face. “It sounds so creepy when you put it that way. Like you found me, hauled me home, and were going to claim your reward.”
Ian bit the insides of his cheek to keep from cursing, because that had been close to what he was thinking last night. Not so blunt, but still. “It sounds much worse when you say it.”
“Gods, Becker, it’s fine. You can come over when you need to. . .you know.”
“Pack time.”
“Pack time. Right. I know your schedule and mine don’t exactly line up, but we can figure out the details later tonight.”
“Later tonight?”
“When you come for dinner. Ali said she invited you. I can already tell she’s going to back out, but you have to come anyway, so she doesn’t figure it all out.”
He pressed his thumb between his eyes. “I’m confused. I have to come over so your cousin doesn’t figure out I’ve been coming over?”
“Yes. No. Don’t question it. She’s sneaky.”
He didn’t want to tell her that her cousin had already sort of figured it out. Not just the pack thing, but the huge crush he had on Kate.
Lipski had said he needed a relationship. Did dinner with Kate count? He thought through his plans for tonight and realized he didn’t have to work. He'd been planning to do a shift anyway, but…
Kate’s big brown eyes blinked at him distractingly. “We’re friends, right?”
Friends. His lips flattened into a line. He was being friend zoned before he'd even admitted to himself that he wanted to mate her…Wait, no, date her. Date. Not mate.
She twisted her fingers. “Becker, I want you to know I’m here until you find a replacement.”
“A replacement?”
“You can’t use me forever, right? It’s not an ideal option for either of us. We can’t get caught in anything that might be interpreted as a relationship. But you should know that I’m willing to be your pack person until you have someone else.”
Replacement. Temporary. He hadn’t thought about anything like that. Deep down he knew he should, but he wasn't used to thinking that many steps ahead. And when she’d asked if the pack thing was sexual, he’d assumed she was asking if it required something more physical. Not that she was avoiding something that might be permanent. But it was obvious now that she didn’t want anything long term.
He cleared his throat, but it was too dry. He coughed, carefully choosing his words. “I don’t know when—” or if “—I’ll be able to—”
“Not like I’m saying it has to be tomorrow, or anything. I just thought…I’m muddling this up, aren’t I? I know it might take months. I’m okay with that. I can wait so it’s done right.” She licked her lips. “In the meantime. I can’t sleep.” She whispered, her brow furrowed. “Is that normal? I can’t sleep very well unless you’re there.”
He nodded. “I think so. It might be part of the adjustment.”
Her eyes went wide. Her face drained of a little color.
He snatched the files off the cabinet. “Don’t worry. It’s temporary.” Temporary. As in, when she was no longer his pack, she’d go back to normal. He, on the other hand, would never recover. He shoved his hat as far down as it would go.
“Okay, so you’ll be there?” She moved out of the way when he went for the door knob.
“What?” His hand paused on the door.
“Tonight? You’ll come tonight so I can get some sleep?” She looked him right in the eyes. Challenging him. “You don’t have to stay. Only for as long as you need.” She rushed to add. As if she needed to tack on that stipulation to keep things strictly professional.
Her hand brushed his and he melted. Took the tension right out of him. “I don’t have to work, so yeah, I’ll come for dinner.” He wouldn’t promise anything else, just in case she changed her mind later. He didn’t want her to commit to things she’d later regret. “Should I bring something?”
She shook her head. “We’ll have too much food already. Ali will still cook. Just come.”
“Right.”
He went for the door, but she blocked hi
m again. “Hold on. You have to leave with something or it will look weird you were in here so long.” She darted from shelf to shelf.
Ian grabbed the closest thing he could see: a pen and a stack of pink sticky notes. “I’ll just take this, thanks.” He waved the items and forced a grin.
She grabbed him from behind. “No! They’d know immediately. A police liaison using sticky notes? Too suspicious.” She looked him up, down, and then her finger went up like a lightbulb idea occurred. “Hey, I know what.” She went for the stacks of folders and grabbed a few green ones. “After the files come back from our police liaisons, we switch them over to green. It will impress Yang that you’re learning our organizational system, so it serves as your cover and a brownie point.”
She tucked the files under his arm with the rest. She straightened, proud of herself. It was hard not to smile. It was hard to stay mad at her. Or to blame her for the position he’d put her in by not telling everything it entailed. He'd thought her being human would have shielded her from those side-effects, but it was still his fault she couldn’t sleep. He didn’t want her to suffer for helping him. The least he could do would be to help her sleep. Protect her. Watch over her.
He frowned. No.
Help her sleep. That was it. That was all she’d asked for. No long-term relationship. Nothing sexual.
She gave him a slight shove. “Go. I’ll come out after you leave.”
He put on his blank face and marched out of the supply closet like he’d meant to go in there to find the green files.
It earned him an impressed nod from Yang on his way out. He bounced when he walked after that, pleased with the reaction. Until he hit the elevator and realized Kate was going to tame him into the class pet.
Chapter 5
Ian tossed the files into his locker and hung up his newly cleaned uniform next to his spare. For questioning, his APPD shirt and hat would be sufficient. If he got into his uniform, he’d be tempted to work. He’d miss his date with Kate.
