by Tina Gower
Her smile lost its emotion, but she continued to hold her lips in the shape of an approximated grin. Her eyes narrowed and she leaned away as if she didn’t expect that answer.
Ian blinked, trying to think of something that would explain away how terrible this seemed. Nothing came to mind. He had to remind himself to breathe as his heart knocked against his ribcage in a demanding rhythm.
This is why he hated talking to people.
Kate's eyelids fluttered and she wiped the awkward smile from her face, replacing it with a second, less sure one. She gripped the door. “Are you here to visit Jack?”
No. He’d been following her, but even thought he'd come clean it appeared she hadn't believed that answer and had decided to give him a second shot.
“Uh, yeah.” He might as well. She wouldn’t be home if he waited there for her, not that he could leave knowing she was inside. He stared at her for a few more beats, then forced his hand, slick with sweat, to open his door.
She moved around to the front of the car, glancing at each corner of the parking lot, adjusting her laptop bag and tugging her blazer closer together. She didn’t want to be seen with him.
He huffed out a shaky breath. “Look, I got to take care of some things before I go in. Why don’t I meet you there?”
Her shoulders dropped with released tension. “Sure.” And continued off in the direction she’d been headed.
He knew he shouldn't watch her as she walked in, but he did anyway, unable to help it. Pulling his eyes away only made the sweating worse, and the dread that something horrible would happen if he didn't follow. He could only let her get a few car lengths ahead before he was compelled to follow. Like there was a string connecting her to him that tugged painfully at his chest if she strayed too far.
He rubbed at the ache there, his anxiety morphing into anger. His body was betraying him. Pack didn’t work like this. It was making him stronger, yeah, less anxious at work, but this obsession with her wasn’t normal. At least, he didn't think it was. The first bond was usually the only one wolves experienced, so everything he'd found online talked about that, not wolves who were forming a second bond. It was a bit taboo. Unmentionable. Forming a bond with another pack usually meant that a wolf had been kicked out of their first for some reason. Break-offs happened if a wolf got married to someone outside of the pack, but even if the wolf stayed involved in the pack in some way it was viewed a lot differently.
After Kate made it through security, he parked himself on a bench outside and dialed his dad.
“Hey, kid.” His father’s deep voice answered. Ian could hear the snap and pop of something simmering on the stove, with chopping in the background.
Antonio Pão-Becker was a mountain of a man. The top of his head brushed the tops of doors, and he usually had to tilt his body, accommodating for all that muscle and mass, to enter a room. His hands were large enough to crush a melon. Ian had seen him do it once, actually. But Tony had inherited the mild, calm nature associated with his supernatural Jasy Jatere roots. He understood children, and had been able to calm Ian any time he’d freaked. He needed that. A lot.
“Dad…” He swallowed, unable to fully admit all his sins.
“Is that Ian?” His other dad, Drew Becker, asked. Tony must have nodded or acknowledged the question in some way because Drew added: “Hey, Ian. I can see which father you love more now,” followed by a melodramatic sigh.
Ian rolled his eyes. It was a joke they used if he called one of them directly instead of the shared landline.
His dads had met as teens at a baseball game and they bonded over both having names that signified they’d descended from bakers, but neither of them could bake. Grill? Yes. Bake? Nope. Although Tony continued an attempt to learn, with hilarious failed results.
Tony chuckled. “You wouldn’t have answered anyway.”
“True,” his other father replied. Drew was the more practical of the two. More likely to be found with a book than any other household item.
“He’s practicing sutures on a banana peel,” Tony explained.
Drew was a nurse. Tony was a counselor for teens. Together they'd made a good team raising a high-risk, challenging, werewolf male.
Ian took a deep lungful of air. Might as well get on with it. “I’m trying to bond to a new pack.”
“That’s great.” Tony whispered the news to Drew. “Is there a pack in a city nearby?”
“Not exactly. It’s here in Angel’s Peak.” Never mind that the pack consisted of one person.
“Did more wolves move into the area? I thought the Angel’s Peak pack was rare being so close to the city.” He could hear the skepticism in Tony’s voice. Wolves avoid Angel's Peak for a number of reasons.
“It’s still rare. Look, the details aren’t important—”
“Ian—” His father’s tone changed to concern.
“You don’t need to know. I promise, okay.”
“I’m listening.” He could hear the sound of a knife being set on the counter. He had Tony’s full attention. Good.
“Do you remember when we contacted that pack in Omaha during my recovery? They’d explained that I would have a lot of issues if I tried to reform a bond with another pack. That forming and reforming bonds for wolves is difficult?”
“Yeah.” His father cleared his throat. “That doesn’t mean it’s impossible. You can allow yourself to do what’s healthy. What’s better for you. It won’t diminish what your first pack meant to you.”
“Okay, but this isn’t about survivor’s guilt. I’m not having a problem bonding. I’m…” He got up and paced, his skin wrapping tight around his muscles. “I think I’m bonding too quickly.”
“You sure you aren't just ready?”
“It took months last time. And I knew two of the members online for over a year and made summer visits.”
“It might be easier because you’re older, more mature. Your body knows the motions this time. You were seventeen then. We should have made you wait until you were eighteen, but we were worried about your health.”
"Right," he replied. He’d battled depression, along with anxiety, well into his teen years. Unable to get out of bed or find joy in the things he'd used to. He’d developed a number of irrational fears, too. The only cure for all of it had been to establish himself in a pack.
His dads had suffered a loss when he the bonding instinct hit so hard and fast. They'd never really believed that they wouldn’t be enough to help some. Ian’s new pack—Ben and Marco in particular—spent a lot of time convincing them it wasn’t anything they’d done wrong. It was just wolf DNA.
Ian himself only knew what Ben and Marco had relayed to him. His dads never directly addressed the issue with him—probably didn’t want him to feel responsible, or as if he’d abandoned them. Besides, every kid eventually leaves home, even if not many form another family so soon. Eventually, he'd had two families that he could rely on, which became important when his pack was slaughtered.
“Ian, it’s all okay,” his dad’s soothing voice came through the line, breaking off his wandering thoughts. The tension melted from his shoulders.
“I’m sure it’s normal,” Tony picked up the knife and the chopping started again. “Unless…”
Here it was. His dad had to sense he’d been keeping something from him.
“I think I have a huge crush on someone,” Ian spilled it out because it felt better than keeping it a secret from everyone. “And because they’re part of the pack issue I’m mixing up other feelings. I keep thinking something horrible is going to happen.”
“Because you don’t believe you can be content again.”
“Dad, I’m a cop. And I’m a werewolf. Content isn’t in the cards.”
“Fine, but that doesn’t mean you can’t explore how you feel about this other person. See if they might feel the same.”
“It’s not like that. How do I make it go away?”
“Make it go away?”
“Ye
ah, I can’t be attracted to them. Because of the pack thing. I don’t want to screw up my chance at a pack.”
“There isn’t a rule that pack can’t be sexually involved. Right, Drew?” His dad's voice went muted, as though he'd put the phone down and stepped away. Gods, they were debating his sex life. After a moment, he came back on the line. “You’re full of shit. Now be a big kid and ask him out on a date.”
He could feel the panic rising from his stomach. “This was a mistake. Don’t tell Lipski we had this conversation. I’m invoking patient-client privilege.”
“There's no such thing between parents and kids.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Wait. Is this person married?”
“No.”
“Oh thank gods. For a minute I thought it was Hank.”
“Thought it was Hank?” Oh right. The crush. “Oh gods. Dad, he’s older than me by fifteen years.” He pressed his thumb into the bridge of his nose. “And he’s married.” Plus Lipski annoying insisted he knew everything about werewolves—and he kinda did, damn it. So as partners it worked, but how could his parents ever see them ever being romantically compatible?
“A relationship would be a good step, son.”
“And grandchildren,” his other dad added helpfully in the background.
This had spiraled out of control. Why had he thought his dads would help?
Ian’s ears finally caught the relationship remark, and a few things clicked into place. “You’ve been talking to Hank.”
“Yes, of course. We’re good friends with your partner.”
“He picks up his phone.” His other dad quipped in the background. There was a weird echo. Was he on speaker now?
“Right. Well, I’ll go work on that grandchildren thing.” Because he didn’t know how to get his dads off the phone any other way.
That disaster behind him, he paced a few more times to work out the nerves and then headed to Jack’s room. To Kate.
He took the elevator, curved through the maze of halls, and slipped through the ICU doors when a visitor came out through them. He was supposed to call in and wait for the doors to open, but he just flipped his badge out and marched with a purpose so nobody would stop him. He dodged the gaze of the nurses at the center of the floor, but each was too focused on their work, and they didn’t pay him any mind anyway.
“There he is.” Kate brightened when he ducked into Jack’s room. “Jack says they’re going to move him in a few days to a step up unit. That was what they called it. It's still ICU, but it’s three patients to every nurse instead of one-on-one or two-on-one. It means he’s improving.” She turned to Jack. “Right?”
Jack gave her a thumbs up. His eyelids fluttering and his eyes out of focus. “Hey, Officer Becker.”
“Just…Becker.” He corrected, nearly giving his first name. But it didn’t seem right. He liked that Kate and everyone associated with her thought of him as someone different. Not Ian. Ian was some tragic wolf who'd lost his pack and had a nervous breakdown. Becker was someone they could count on.
Jack blinked as if in answer. His face was still swollen, and most of his body had been wrapped in a cast. He could see where several oracles had signed it. Mica, the other oracle they’d saved and Jack’s unrequited crush, and Zoey, the girl who’d shoved him into an Magical Explosive Device supposedly to save him from getting killed by the Norns who’d been after them. There were other names he recognized from Jack’s oracle house, but nobody he’d met.
Kate knelt down to get in line with Jack’s face. “Well, I should go. There’s only supposed to be one at a time in here.” She turned to Ian and kept her gaze on him as she walked out.
His eyes walked with her, although his feet managed to stay planted.
“I tried to plead your case for you,” Jack voice sounded like it had lost a battle with a meat grinder.
Ian shoved his hands in his pocket. “What do you mean?”
“You care about her.”
Ian opened his mouth to deny it.
Jack beat him to it. “Nope. I know what it looks like to want someone unattainable. I just have to look in any reflective surface.” He wiggled in the bed, attempting to get more comfortable but wincing at the effort. “You like her, and I tried to talk you up to her and get a feel for what she might think about you.”
Ian shifted. All his weight going from one foot to the other. He cleared his throat, unbelieving he was going to ask. “And?”
“She’s more afraid of you than you are of her. She kept bringing up that you were coworkers. Everything was professional.”
Ian swept his hand over his mouth and neck. “It is. She’s absolutely right.” He fixed his gaze on the floor tiles.
“But you’re afraid for her.” Jack waited for Ian to look at him again before continuing. “We all know, Kate included, that whoever's responsible for what Liza Hamilton did to me is still out there.”
“They’re saying your accident was a ripple,” Ian said. Ripples occurred when a high-probability prediction was changed. Often another prediction would take its place, usually targeting the same people or event. He didn’t know how all that worked. That was Kate’s domain.
“Do you believe that?”
“I don’t know how the math of it works. Maybe if you ask Kate—”
“I’m asking you, Becker.”
He didn’t have to think about it. “No. I don’t believe a fucking word of it.”
“Good. Then keep her safe.”
“I shouldn’t—”
“You should. We both know I can’t see Kate, but I’m asking you to be vigilant.”
Jack said it like he’d seen a vision, except he couldn’t see Kate even if he'd tried to forecast her future. Both of them knew that. Ian ground his teeth. “There some kind of storm—?”
“I might be a weather oracle, but if we form emotional attachments to people then we can see their possible futures. Maybe not Kate’s, but yours…”
“Then tell me—”
“I just did. And I can’t see all of it because of Kate. Be careful. She’s waiting for you in the lobby. You should go. I feel sleepy.” But Jack didn’t look at all as sleepy as he had a few seconds ago.
“I’m calling some guys to post extra hospital security on this floor.”
Jack nodded and gestured with his fingers to go.
This time he left on Jack’s advice.
Chapter 6
Just as Kate had suspected, Ali called while they were on their way to Kate’s apartment.
“I have a date and I’ve got to jump on these opportunities as they arise you know,” her cousin said, in a rushed tone, as if she were running around doing errands while she talked on the phone.
“That’s fine, Ali. Becker and I will just grab some take-out.”
“Wrong answer. No take-out. I made eggplant parmesan and it’s sitting in your fridge with instructions.”
“Ali, you didn’t have to—”
“I did have to. You can’t poison Becker.”
“I know how to cook.”
“Debatable.”
“How would you know? You never let me.”
“It will be a cold day at the equator before that day comes.”
“Ali—”
“You just enjoy your date.”
Kate’s eyes flickered nervously toward Ian. He kept his gaze on the road. No need to react and remind her that, yes, he could hear their entire conversation. Not that he was eavesdropping. This just came with the package of friending a werewolf.
“It’s not like that,” Kate whispered into the phone, turning her body away from Ian.
“Okay, whatever. Later.” Her cousin hung up.
Kate straightened, as if she were rallying her resolve, and shook her phone at him. “See? I told you she’d skip out. She knows something’s up.”
He slunk into his seat. He should probably tell Kate about Ali discovering him outside her window that one night.
“Sh
ould we rent a movie?” she asked.
He eyed her. “Do you want to see a movie?”
She fiddled with the hem of her skirt. She didn’t want to see a movie. “Sure. That would be nice.”
“I’ll leave after you fall asleep.”
“You don’t have to. I don’t want to cut you short from, you know.”
It would cut him short. “It won’t cut me short.”
See? They could both be liars now.
They parked and he followed her up the stairs. He covered his nose when they passed through the door. The wards weren't as strong as before, though. Was getting used to them, or had Ali lightened them? Maybe it was just what Ali had said about his having been invited. He didn’t want to test the theory. He’d keep the back window his main entry. It was more secure anyway, since it was hidden from view of most of the other apartments, along with the main street.
He sniffed the apartment and then did a visual check in the living space, glancing into her dark bedroom too. Even with his night vision, he could see no movement there.
“Lock the door behind me for a second.” He ducked through the ward again and jogged downstairs without waiting for her to reply, only relaxing when he heard the lock click in place. After he circled the area a few times, checking each window, stairway alcove, parked car, and stray cat, he looped back around and knocked on her door.
She opened it with a frown. “What was that all about?”
“Nothing.” Did he need to wait for her to invite him back in? He didn’t know how this ward thing worked.
“Wolf.” An unexpected voice chimed from beside him.
He jumped back. “Seven hells, witch.” Belatedly, he realized he hadn't heard her coming. He narrowed his eyes at her. “How did you do that?”
“What? This?” She tapped her feet on the porch patio. No sound.
“What the fuck? Stop it.”
“Don’t like sneaky witches?”
“No.” He growled. It explained how she'd been able to come up behind him when he was climbing that tree the other night. So he wasn’t as far gone as he’d thought. “Don’t ever use it on me again.”
“No fun.” She made a sad face. “It was just a simple magic spell.”
