by J. Lea
“Oh, God,” he moaned. I took him deeper in my mouth.
“Is that okay?” I asked tentatively. I didn’t know if I was doing it correctly, as I’d never done it before.
“It’s perfect,” he cried out. I closed my mouth around his cock again, more confidently this time, and continued to pleasure him until he stopped me.
“Lori, I’m gonna come,” he groaned, his head back, and his breathing hitched. I knew what his warning meant, but I increased my pace until I felt warm spurts of his semen filling my mouth. He grabbed me under my arms, and pulled me up, over his chest.
“Was it okay?”
“It couldn’t have been better,” he assured me, and planted a kiss on my forehead, still breathing rapidly. We lay like that for several minutes or hours, I didn’t know. I lost perception of time. All that mattered in that moment was that Parker was right beside me. Every moment spent with him meant the world to me.
His fingers started lazily tracing circles on my back. It was the first time he moved ever since he fell back on the couch with me on top. “What are you thinking about?” he asked me.
“About how I don’t want this ever to end.”
“It won’t.” He moved me so he could rise to his feet, and he lifted me up in his arms and took me to the bedroom, where he laid me gently on his bed. He covered us with a blanket, and scooted closer to me. He kissed me behind my ear, and we fell asleep, his arms around me, a smile on my face.
I was awoken by Parker’s mouth on my cheek. He brushed my hair out of my face, and smiled down at me. I returned the smile.
“What time is it?” I asked sleepily.
“Six,” he said. “I need to get ready for work.”
“How long have you been awake?”
“A while.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“Because I love watching you sleep. I love lying beside you, listening to your steady breathing, feeling the beating of your heart against my skin, and wondering if perhaps you’re dreaming about me. I wanted to stay in this moment, with my arms around you, forever.”
My heart sang at his words. I snuggled closer to him and kissed him softly. We only had a few minutes before we needed to get up, which we spent kissing and exploring each other’s bodies. Then, Parker took King out for a walk, and I headed home, as I needed to take a shower, change my clothes and go to school.
Just as I sat down at my desk in the classroom, Elias walked in and sat in the seat next to me. He pulled his books out of his bag, and dropped them on the desk. I watched him with a big smile on my face.
“School shouldn’t start before 10 in the morning. I’d give my left nut for one more hour of sleep,” he muttered. “Why are you so bubbly so early in the morning?”
“No particular reason,” I said. He looked at me with narrowed eyes, and then they bulged with recongition.
“You had sex with him,” he pointed a finger at me accusingly, no longer half asleep.
“No!” I exclaimed. “Shh, don’t be so loud.” I looked around us to check if we’d been overhead. Even though no one would’ve known whom we were talking about, it felt like it was written across my forehead with big bold letters that I was in a relationship with a teacher.
“I thought you two broke up,” he whispered, leaning into me.
“It was only a misunderstanding. He didn’t cheat on me. Apparently, he has a twin brother, and I saw him instead of Parker.”
“There’s two of them walking the earth?” he exclaimed in surprise.
I chuckled. “That was my first thought, too.”
“Holy shit. Is the brother single?” he wiggled his eyebrows.
“Elias, you’re incorrigible,” I giggled. “Don’t you have your hands full with Drake? And, no, he isn’t single. He’s happily married. I told you he was with a woman in the restaurant.”
“Too bad. And, if a man is having dinner with a woman, that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a couple, even if they’re kissing. They could simply be friends with benefits.”
I snorted at his remark. “You’re disguisting.”
“Doesn’t matter. Tell me what happened with Parker.”
“Nothing…”
“Bullshit. Something happened,” he narrowed his eyes at me.
“I told him about my alopecia.”
“Really? And how did he react?”
“He doesn’t mind. Elias, he didn’t mind in the least! Can you imagine?” My grin stretched from ear to ear.
“Of course, he didn’t. I already told you you’re gorgeous. He’d be mental if he had an issue with it.”
I placed a hand on his forearm. “Thank you. I was so afraid of his reaction. Never in a million years did I think he was going to be so understanding.”
“It’s obvious you mean a lot to him.”
“He told me he loves me.”
“What?” he shouted.
“Shh,” I reminded him. “Not so loud.”
“I’m sorry. He loves you?” I nodded, smiling. “I thought that was just attraction, that you only liked each other because it was forbidden.”
“Did you forget we met before all that?” I waved my hand around the classroom, reminding him our journey began way before we learned he was going to be my teacher.
He shrugged. “I’m happy for you, Lori. I truly am. You deserve happiness. Just be careful you don’t get caught.”
“We are.”
He gave me a quick hug, and then the teacher walked into the classroom to start the lecture.
Chapter Twenty-Four
October 2012
16 years old
It was eight months since Coach Briggs had been convicted. Eight short, but at the same time, excruciatingly long months. I hoped things would calm down at home, but they got worse with each passing day. Dad blamed himself for everything that happened to me. He was convinced I wouldn’t have gotten sick if he’d stopped Coach Briggs from abusing me. He held himself accountable for forcing me to attend practice, even though it had been apparent I hadn’t wanted to go. But he wasn’t the one to blame. He didn’t know. I could blame myself for keeping my mouth shut, but I was a child and didn’t know how to handle the situation. If anyone was to blame, it was Coach Briggs. And, yet, if none of it happened, there was still a possibility I would get alopecia. Perhaps I was meant to get sick, and stress was just the factor that triggered it sooner. Mom always said that everything happens for a reason. Still, I could never understand why only bad things happened to me. What reason was hiding behind that? I never could find one.
Just as Tyler and I were returning from school one day, we noticed an ambulance in front of our house, a police car, and a bunch of other vehicles with flashing lights. Fear gripped me, as I came to a halt, taking in the scene in front of me. Our neighbors were out in the street, and shock was evident on their faces. They were stretching their necks, standing on their toes and were whispering furiously among themselves.
“Lori?” Tyler gave me a questioning look, but I didn’t respond. I stepped faster toward the entrance of our house, where a policeman stopped me.
“What is going on?” I asked, frightened.
“Miss, you cannot go in there before we finish the investigation.”
“What investigation? We live here. Let us in. Where is my mom? Dad, are you in there?” I called out. They usually arrived home from work after Tyler and I. “Did we get robbed or something?” I asked the policeman.
“Miss, please, step to the side.” His voice was sharp.
“But—“ I protested, when the front door opened. Mom stepped outside, her face swollen, and eyes red from crying. I jumped into her embrace.
“Mom, why won’t they let us in? What happened?” I looked at her. I truly looked at her, and I took in her pale face with red-rimmed eyes. My gut told me something awful happened. I just didn’t want to face it.
“Mom?” Tyler cried out.
“Shh,” Mom gathered us in her arms, trying to calm u
s. Silent tears were rolling down her cheeks.
“Where is Dad?” I asked her, but she said nothing. “Where is Dad?” I repeated, more loudly.
The next moment, paramedics pushed a gurney, with a black body bag on it, past me. I stared at it in shock, and blinked a few times.
“Who is this?” I asked. Still no answer. “Mom, WHO IS THIS?” I yelled at the top of my lungs, squeezing my hands into fists. I started to panic. “Daddy?” I breathed. Then I ran after the paramedics. “Dad!” I screamed, but a policeman stopped me before I could reach the ambulance. Mom ran to me, dragging Tyler behind her, and hugged me. She didn’t have any strength left in her, so we slid to the ground, with Tyler kneeling beside us. And that’s when I knew. I knew, in my heart that was the last time I would ever see my father again. The three of us sat in the middle of the driveway, huddled close together, grieving the person who meant the world to us.
Chapter Twenty-Five
March 2015
18 years old
“Lori. Lori, wake up!” Parker shook me. I didn’t know what was happening. “Lori, it was just a nightmare,” he said soothingly.
I opened my eyes. We were lounging on the couch, and the TV was still on. I must have fallen asleep during the movie we’d been watching. I blinked. “What happened?”
“You had a bad dream. You kept calling your dad, begging him to stay.”
I leaned on the back of the couch and sighed. “I dosed off?”
He nodded. “How come you never talk about your father?” He stroked my cheek gently. Even King was giving me a worrying look. It had been two months since I’d told him about my condition.
“He died,” I said quietly, and wiped the sweat off my brows.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to pry.”
“It’s okay. You’re not prying.”
“Can you tell me what happened, then?”
“He killed himself,” I said sadly.
“Killed? Did he commit suicide? Why?”
“He shot himself in the head with a gun. He couldn’t live with his guilty conscience anymore. It wasn’t even his fault.”
“Why would he do such a thing? Where did he get the gun?” He scrunched his forehead in confusion.
“He had it at home. He was a hunter, so he had a special room in our house where he kept all his guns and rifles. I wasn’t allowed to step inside, but I knew what was in there. The room was always locked, and only he knew where the key was.” Every time I thought of him, and the way he ended his life, I felt an ache in my chest. I didn’t understand his actions, and I probably never will.
“So, he just shot himself?”
“Tyler and I had just stepped off the school bus, when we saw paramedics and policemen in front of our house. People were gathered on the street, watching the spectacle and speculating about what happened. They didn’t let us go inside the house, and then Mom walked out. It was weird that she was already home since she was supposed to be at work. She’d gotten the call, and rushed home.” I took a deep breath, and shook my head.
“You don’t need to tell me if it’s too hard for you,” Parker said softly. He stroked my back soothingly.
“No, it’s okay. I want you to know everything about me.” I paused for a second, and then continued. “One of the neighbors apparently heard the shot, and called the police. When I saw him carried outside, I thought I was going to die.” I squeezed Parker’s hand. “He was wrapped in a body bag. Mom told me later she had hoped Tyler and I would be late coming home so we wouldn’t see him like that. I had nightmares about that day for a long time. I used to dream that I was at home when he shot himself. That I heard the shot, ran down the stairs, and found him on the floor in the hallway, sitting in a pool of his blood. His empty eyes stared right through me, and he kept repeating, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” rocking back and forth.” My voice shook. It was still hard for me to talk about it.
“Why would he be apologizing?”
“He blamed himself for…” I couldn’t finish the sentence.
“He blamed himself for what?”
“Something happened to me when I was younger.”
“What do you mean? And what does it have to do with your father?” he said, confused.
“Do you remember when I told you I used to run track?” He nodded. “Well, there was a reason I stopped. I never thought it would ever happen because I was good at it, and I was planning on trying out for the Olympics when I got older.” Parker’s eyebrows drew together. “When I was fourteen, my coach started abusing me.”
“He did what?!” he exclaimed, furious.
“He didn’t rape me, but he did touch me inappropriately,” I explained, my gaze directed to the floor. “He was one of the most distinguished coaches, and my mom, dad, and I were thrilled when an option presented itself for me to start training with him. In the beginning, everything was okay—if I exclude touching my hands or patting my butt—but then things started getting worse with each practice. Whenever I was changing clothes in the locker room, he came inside, and waited for the other girls to leave, so he could get me alone. When I showered there once, he came inside the shower stall, and watched me. And he started requesting private meetings in his office, where he started touching me.” This time, my eyes were completely dry. All I felt was disdain. I hated the coach for what he did to me. Now, I would definitely react differently, but, back then, I was young and easily intimidated. I didn’t know what to do, or who to turn to. I was terrified of what he was going to do to me if I told on him.
“That bastard,” Parker spit out. He shook his head, and his grip on my hand tightened.
“I didn’t say anything to my parents. He threatened me, said I couldn’t tell anyone about our private meetings. He made me think no one would ever believe my word against his. It went so far that I didn’t even want to go to practice, but my parents made me go. They thought I was just a moody teenager with her silly whims, and that it would pass.”
“How long did it last?” he asked.
“Too long. More than 6 months.”
“Oh, God.”
“Since I couldn’t tell anyone, I started writing down everything that happened. It was some sort of a therapy for me. And, then my mom found the notebook.”
“Your mom found it?” he said, surprised.
I nodded. “She flipped because I kept it a secret. She was angry, disappointed, and extremely shaken. By then, I’d already became a nervous wreck, my grades plummeted, and I drove all my friends away.”
“Thank God she found it. Did you ever plan on telling anyone?”
I shook my head no.
Parker hugged me, and stroked my back reassuringly. “I’m so sorry for everything that happened to you.” He kissed my cheek. “Where is that monster now?”
“We reported him to the police, and he was convicted. As far as I know, he should still be in jail.”
“Where he should rot forever. But, I still don’t understand what all of this has to do with your dad.”
“After Coach Briggs was put behind bars, the first signs of alopecia started appearing. The doctor told me one of the common reasons for this disease is stress. You have no idea what kind of stress I was under, keeping that horrid secret to myself. Dad blamed himself for the abuse, and consequently, my condition. He believed it was his fault that Coach Briggs molested me, since he was the one forcing me to attend practice. He said if he hadn’t made me go, I would still be his happy, smiling little girl. I wouldn’t have been abused and gotten alopecia. But, he couldn’t have known that! Maybe alopecia was destined to happen anyway, and no amount of explaining helped persuade him to think differently. He couldn’t find the strength to live on, even though we kept telling him it wasn’t his fault. And then he shot himself. He left a note where he apologized for the things he did—or didn’t—do. What his regrets were. He wrote that he loved us, and that he hoped we could one day forgive him for what he’d done.”
“I’m so
sorry,” Parker said quietly.
“It is what it is.” I shrugged. “His suicide note was filled with emotions. He felt so bad I was molested, and he couldn’t forgive himself. What Coach did to me was also one of the reasons I never got physically involved with a guy. I couldn’t handle anyone touching me. Many therapy sessions were needed for me to overcome it. Not that I ever gave anyone the chance to get close to me. I went on a date or two with a guy, and then I put my tail between my legs and ran when he wanted to kiss me. I got overwhelmed with panic every time someone touched me. Alopecia didn’t help either. I was humiliated too many times, and it left a mark on me.” I paused, and took a breath. “But, then I met you. You were different. I didn’t think I would fall for you so quickly. But I did, hard. I can’t change my past, but I can make damn sure my future will be filled with happiness. Hopefully, with you,” I added quietly.
“It will be. I promise you that. I won’t let anyone hurt you ever again.”
I smiled at him. “You can’t know that. But I’m wiser and stronger now. I will never again let anyone wipe the floor with me.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
April 2015
18 years old
Prom night was here. Everybody looked forward to the dance, including myself. Graduation day was around the corner, which meant Parker and I could soon stop hiding our relationship. I wanted those small, yet important things—to go to the movies with him, to walk down the street hand in hand, to sit on a park bench, eating ice cream with Parker’s arm around my shoulders, or to share a dessert in a restaurant. I wanted to meet his parents, and I couldn’t wait to introduce him to Mom and Tyler. I was sick and tired of sneaking around with him.
“When is Elias picking you up?” Mom asked, as I stepped into my prom dress. She helped me with the zipper.
“He should be here in half an hour.” Elias and I decided to go to the prom together. I couldn’t go with Parker, so Elias was the next best thing.
