“Yes,” he told her as he forced himself to remain calm. “David Hawthorn, Esquire. Works in the home office. In fact, I believe he is responsible for working out the problems between landowners and the army when it comes to new fortifications and other matters.”
Amanda shook her head, “How can these people do it? Mr. Hawthorn seemed perfectly normal. A little pompous perhaps, but … I danced with a traitor. It seems unfathomable.”
He smiled at her, “You have had a rather … unfathomable … few weeks I imagine.”
She glanced up from her papers and blushed. But then she quickly looked back down at the reports, obviously choosing not to acknowledge his comment.
“And March second?” she asked, changing the subject as quickly as she could.
He laughed, “RH.”
Her brow knit into tight furrows as she slowly shook her head. “Nothing,” she said. “None of the other initials. The ones we already know are not on the list either.”
His stomach dropped, they were so close. He needed that last name. If any one of them escaped there was no telling how much damage they could do.
“What about April seventh?” he asked.
She scanned the list and shook her head. “No. the only name that appears twice is a Lord Broadmoor. But no RH.
Lord Warwick’s brow creased as he removed the list from her hand and studied it. They had to be there. Everything was working.
As his eyes scanned down the list it hit him.
“Reginald Hardy,” he said as a sense of satisfaction settled over him.
Amanda raised an eyebrow, silently asking him to explain.
“Lord Broadmoor, formerly known as Reginal Hardy.” He told her.
“But he used an L when referring to Lady Simpson. Why not use an L this time for Lord.”
“Because,” he replied. “Hicks thinks of him as Reginald. They went to school together. Hardy only recently came into his title. In Hicks mind, he will always be Reginald. The footman only knew him as Lord Broadmoor.”
“What use would he be to Napoleon?”
Lord Warwick shrugged, “I don’t know. He’s a landowner in the lake district. Lives here in London. But I can’t think of anything that he does that would tie him to anything valuable.”
Amanda nodded as she took a deep breath. “That’s it then. You have your seven people. One of whom is already deceased. So is it enough?”
He sighed heavily and shook his head. “Not yet, but it gives us a starting point. I will have my men begin digging. With this, I am sure we will find something.”
She smiled at him, obviously pleased that she could help.
“You have been invaluable, Amanda,” he said as he gathered up his papers and placed them back into the portfolio.
She smiled sadly as she looked down at her lap. “It is over then,” she said.
“What, the case or us,” he snapped, rather more forcibly than he had intended to. But there was an anger burning deep inside of him. How dare she dismiss him so easily.
Amanda looked up, catching his eye before he could hide his true feelings. She reached out and gently lay her hand on his knee.
“You know it has to be this way. You and I are from different worlds. But in both of them. Our exposure would hurt us to the very core. Olivia would no longer be able to be seen in my company. Lady Alice, Lady Weston, they would both have to disown me. Doors would be closed to me. You know how it works.”
He nodded slowly. She was right, but that did not make it any easier.
She laughed softly. “Besides, if Molly ever found out. I would never hear the end of it.”
The two of them looked at each other. “We have both said we would never marry,” she said with a strange look in her eyes. “This must end. If not now, when? Better it ends before we are discovered. That way we can say goodbye without regrets. Without recriminations.”
He nodded slowly but held his own counsel. The woman was wrong if he thought he was giving her up that easily. He sighed heavily and studied her for a long moment. She was so beautiful. So enticing.
Reaching up, he gently removed the spectacles and placed them on the table next to the bed. Her brow rose in question until she saw the grin of anticipation he gave her. Once she understood his intentions, she smiled softly and fell into his arms.
She might think this was there last night, he thought to himself as he took her lips with his. But he had not agreed to it. Not by a long shot.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Amanda wallowed in a sadness that she worried would never leave her. He must not see, she told herself. No, he must never know how strongly she loved him. It might make him feel guilty.
The thought of him regretting their time together sent a bolt of pure terror straight to her heart. No, never. He must not know.
Sighing, she looked over at the empty bed next to her. He had left her earlier that morning, Mumbling something about his men. Needing to meet with someone. Leaving her to lay their alone, abandoned.
“Get used to it,” she whispered as a tear threatened to leak from her eyes. This was to be her future. This sense of loss.
Her heart jumped as the door opened without a knock. Lord Warwick stood there, dressed once again as the butler known as Higginbottom. His wide shoulders making her heart ache.
He smiled as he slipped into the room.
“Where have you been?” she asked instantly regretting the needy tone in her voice. She had no right to make demands of this man. He owed her nothing. She must never forget that.
He frowned and said, “I needed to have my men start looking into the names you discovered. I have little time to gather what I need.”
She nodded as she accepted his answer. At least he had not been out chasing other women. An activity she knew he would return to someday. She would become nothing more than a name on a long list of women.
“Why the rush,” she asked him as she sat up in bed. “I realize the war and everything. But, surely a few hours won’t make that great a difference.”
He sat down next to her on the bed. Her hand instinctively reached out to rest on his thigh.
“Time is of the essence. The war is shifting, things are changing.”
She frowned up at him, silently asking him to explain.
He sighed, obviously not wanting to think about all of the hazards facing Britain.
“America has come in with the French. They declared war in June.”
“I had heard, but surely they are not a threat. Besides, they would never have joined if we had not enforced the blockade.”
He nodded. “True, but they will pull away resources. Men who could have been used on the continent. Our only hope is that the rumors of Napoleon attacking Russia is not a mere diversion but a true incursion. It might very well make all the difference.”
She frowned, the overlapping layers created trails and threads that were complex and impossible to follow to their ultimate end. He saw her continued confusion and smiled slightly.
“If I am able to discover Lord Hick’s conduit back to France, We can use that to feed false information to Napoleon. Information that might cause him to make a different choice. Perhaps we can keep him pursuing conquest in Russia. Convince him we are too strong. Or that Russia is weaker than he believes.”
Her heart jumped just a little. These were high stakes they were fighting for.
“But, won’t he discover the truth when these people are taken to trial. Surely he has access to the London papers. A story like this could not be kept out of the press.
Lord Warwick smiled and slowly shook his head, obviously amused at her naivety. “There will be no trial, Amanda. The government couldn’t afford the scandal. And as you said. We would not want the French to know their people have been discovered.”
Her stomach dropped. “But they can’t be allowed to go free. The damage they have done. The pain they have caused. They can’t get away with this.”
His eyes turned fierce as he
shook his head “They won’t get away with anything, I assure you. No, they will simply disappear. Or perhaps an accidental death. No one will ever know, but they won’t be allowed to live. We will learn all we can from them and then …”
Amanda gasped, His world really was different than hers. He talked of people dying without any hint of remorse. Without any sign of concern.
She slowly nodded. He was right she realized, but that did not mean she was happy about the fact.
“But,” she began. “If there is to be no trial. Why the need for absolute proof. Don’t you have enough to take action.”
He shook his head. “These are important people. Rich, powerful …”
“So if they were not important, from the lower classes, you could take action? That does not seem right.”
“True, very true,” he replied with a shrug. “But it is the way of things. There are men in both the Lords and the Commons. Men who control Parliament’s opinion. Men who can keep a secret. If they know the truth. If they are convinced, then there will be no outcry at the sudden disappearance of so many important people.”
Again she nodded. Obviously, he and Lord Liverpool knew what they were dealing with.
“And now, we need to discuss something even more upsetting,” he said as he took her hand in his.
Her heart stopped as her mind focused on the way his fingers caressed the back of her hand. Deep in her soul, she knew what was coming. Had known since he had walked back into the room.
This was goodbye.
Although she had initiated it. Even though it was what she demanded. Still, she wished with every part of her being that she could push this moment away.
Push it into her old age perhaps. But no, she could see it in his eyes.
“There are things I must do today. I must visit with Nathanial, he has conducted business with two of these men. There are things he may be able to tell me. And Lady Alice might have some insights. She knows everyone.”
“You are leaving. Aren’t you?”
He nodded sadly. “My man will have the cab waiting for you outside. You can leave whenever you wish.”
Her heart fell to her feet. This was it, this was the end.
Forcing herself to smile slightly, she nodded. “I understand.”
He sighed heavily then abruptly stood up so that he could begin pacing. His long strides crossing the room within a few steps before he turned and retraced his steps, over and over. His hands were folded behind his back as he pondered how to say what he needed to say.
Her brow narrowed as she watched him. He was upset. Was his mind already off thinking about his mission? Had he already forgotten about her and began thinking about what he must do next?
“Our paths will cross,” he said without looking at her. “Olivia’s party for instance. Balls, events.”
She could only stare at him.
He sighed heavily. “At these meetings. It may seem as if I am cold. Distant.”
The thought of him being cold to her sent a searing pain to her chest. To love someone so much and have them act as if she barely existed. How would she handle such a cut?
“It is important that we not be attached to each other. Besides Lord Hicks. We must also worry about the old biddies of the ton. As you said, nothing can be allowed to hint at our … time together.”
Her heart twisted into a knot as she fought to breathe. The pain was overwhelming.
“I promise you, Lord Warwick,” she forced herself to say as her world ended. “I will do nothing to bring you shame. No overt displays of affection. No one will ever know. Not because of my actions.”
He stopped pacing to turn and stare at her.
“I was more worried about myself actually,” he said with a sad smile. “I am going to have to fight the urge to sweep you into my arms. Not to say anything of how difficult it is going to be to not challenge half the men of the ton to a duel for merely glancing your way.”
She almost laughed at his silliness until she saw how serious he was being. He really did care for her, she realized. A fact that only made the pain inside of her even more intense.
Grimacing she bit her lip and let him finish.
“So,” he began again. “If it appears I am cold to you. Please be aware that it is not how I truly feel, but my method of dealing with the issue. If I allow myself to express how I really feel, then we will both be exposed. I assure you.”
A man playing a role, she realized.
Her stomach released from its knot of turmoil as she fought to stop herself from telling him how much she loved him. No, she thought it wouldn’t be fair to add to his guilt. It wouldn’t be right to add to his burdens.
He needed to focus on this task for the government. She needed to let him go without adding obstacles to his life.
“I understand Lord Warwick.”
The tall man looked back at her with a strange twist in his eyes. As if he were thinking thoughts three layers deeper than any man had ever faced before.
“It is important to me,” he said. “That you understand. I do not want you feeling hurt.”
Smiling bravely, she studied him for a long moment then nodded. “Lord Warwick, you need never worry. Our … time together … has been wonderful. An interlude that will become one of the most important moments of my life. But we both know it cannot continue. But I will always thank you for it.”
Taking a deep breath, he said, “Good day, Amanda. Please know that you will always be special to me. Always my Angel”
Her eyes grew misty as a sudden fear passed through her. She must not cry in front of him.
He continued to stare at her for a long moment, his lips set in a firm line. Each second drawing her closer to losing control of her emotions.
She thought for a moment that he might say something more as his brow furrowed and his eyes looked into hers. Something important. But instead, he sighed heavily as if he had changed his mind and merely nodded to her again, then turned and left.
The door closed behind him and her world crumbled into tears. Ugly tears that threatened to never stop.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Lord Warwick grumbled to himself as he stepped into the back alley. Never had he felt so empty leaving a woman’s bed. This sense of loss, of a world gone wrong, was something he promised himself to never experience again.
This was what happened when a rake became involved with an angel.
She was so remarkable in so many ways. It had hurt his soul to leave her. Her soft skin glowing in the lamplight. The way she had looked at him. As if he were the most important thing in the universe. It was a look that could make a man feel invincible.
If a woman such as Amanda Waters could find some worth in him, then surely, his life had meant something.
Sighing heavily, he hurried through the alley, out into the street, and around the corner. There was so much to do if he was to be ready before Olivia’s ball. But as he walked, he could not stop himself from thinking of the woman he had left behind.
NO. he told himself. Do not let Amanda distract you. Too many important things depended upon him completing this mission. Too many lives hung in the balance.
Pushing the memories of their time together aside, he focused on his job. But deep in the back of his mind. Those memories were locked away to be brought out whenever he wished. The knowledge was both pleasing and soul shakingly sad.
Such perfection and he had lost it. Walked away. How could he have been such an idiot?
Because that was what she wanted, he reminded himself. What she had demanded in fact. Her words had been explicit without any hint of ambiguity. No subtle suggestion that he convince her otherwise.
The memory ate at him as he pondered her words. She had no wish to marry. She had been very firm in her statement. And in all truth, there was no other possibility. Not unless she was willing to burn her connections within society.
Really, an independent woman did change things. There were no pressures on her to
marry. No levers for him to pull.
The thought made him shake his head. Leave it to him to desire the one woman who had no need of his wealth or status.
They might be able to keep their affair secret he thought for a hopeful moment. For a short period at least. He was very good at such things after all. But eventually. Something would slip. Some glance across a crowded room. A word of endearment. A touch in public. Something would get the tongues wagging and they would be discovered.
No, he must not allow that to happen. Amanda deserved the life she wanted.
Sighing again, he wove his way through a line of carriages and cabs as he hurried across the street. The strong scent of horses, coal smoke and too many people hit him like a shovel upside the head. You’re not in bed with her anymore, he reminded himself, focus.
Ducking into another alley he looked both ways to ensure no one was watching. Once things were clear, he reached down behind a dustbin and removed a ratty old brown coat.
Pulling the ribbon from his hair, he slipped out of the Higginbottom cutaway coat and into the brown coat. He pulled his cravat away with a strung tug and opened his top button. He once again glanced up and down the alley to make sure he was still unobserved. Seeing that he maintained his anonymity, he rubbed his hands in the dirt and wiped his cheek before he ruffled his hair.
As a final touch, he pulled at his hose, leaving a gap between the left one and his breeches.
There, he was a now a common workman. What would Amanda think if she saw him? he wondered with a smile. Knowing her, she’d silently shake her head then shot him a quick glance of approval at his disguise. The woman understood. That was one of the many things he enjoyed about her. There was never a need to explain the small details.
He folded the black coat, placed the starched white cravat into a pocket and placed the bundle behind the dustbin then hurried out into the street. Jack Warden, common laborer.
Once on the street, he turned towards the east. Sanderson was to meet him at the Boars Head two streets over. He’d sent word earlier that morning. It was important that they get started. With Amanda’s amazing discovery, now they had a path to follow. A way to see this through.
Challenging A Rake (A Rake's Redemption Book 4) Page 15
