Loudly.
With a smirking grin, Roan gives them all a one fingered salute in response. As we drive back to the apartment, I can’t help but notice that Sam is quieter than usual.
So I wait until Roan disappears inside his room to FaceTime Ivy before hesitantly asking, “Is something wrong?”
The strange vibe that keeps reverberating between us is now back in full force. Every time it happens, I swear it sucks all the oxygen from the room, making it almost impossible to breathe. Already it feels as if something in our relationship has shifted. No matter how hard I try, it’s something I can’t seem to get a firm handle on.
And that frightens me.
I’m not good with change. I’d prefer our relationship stay the same. Just us being best friends. No weird vibes to screw things up. No thoughts of what he feels like or tastes like…
Or, damn it, smells like.
Without answering, Sam heads to the fridge before grabbing a water. Quirking a brow, he silently holds one out to me. Reaching for it, I step into the small, dimly lit kitchen. Taking the cool plastic bottle from his hands, I stare up at him, waiting for a response.
I just need to know that we’re good.
Solid.
Unshakable.
That this sudden weirdness isn’t going to end up ruining our friendship. I honestly don’t know what to make of all these strange feelings that keep surfacing within me. They just need to go away. I just want everything between us to slide neatly back to the way it’s always been.
“Nope. Everything’s fine.”
Even though those are the exact words I was hoping to hear, and they should put everything within me at ease, they don’t. For some reason, I don’t quite believe him. He seems… I don’t know… edgy. Almost as if there’s too much frustrated energy pumping through his system.
And that’s not like him at all.
Sam is one of the most chill guys I know.
Before I can even open my mouth, Sam scrubs a hand over his face. “I’m really beat. I’m going to hit the sack, okay?”
Not knowing what else to do, I simply nod my head before watching him stalk away. A few moments later, the door to his room closes and I’m left standing alone in the kitchen wondering what the hell is going on between us.
Wondering, not for the first time, how I get us back on track again.
Thirty minutes later, I’m lying in bed, staring sightlessly up at the ceiling. Even though I’m tired, I can’t seem to fall asleep. Every few minutes I find myself tossing one way before turning in the opposite direction. My thoughts are focused solely on Sam. On our friendship and what seems to be happening between us. I keep trying to pinpoint exactly when things started shifting. But I can’t. There isn’t one specific moment that sticks out in my mind. It’s more like a gradual evolution. One I had no idea was even happening until it was much too late. Now it feels all but impossible to stop.
Fed up with all this angst rolling around within me, I throw off the covers. Maybe Sam is awake too. Maybe he’s plagued by all the same thoughts churning within my head. Is there really a reason why we can’t talk all this out like two rationale adults?
I mean, we’re friends. Have been for a really long time. We’ve certainly never had a problem talking before.
And that’s what friends do… right?
They talk everything to death.
Exactly.
So it’s quietly that I find myself padding down the short hallway before tapping gently on his closed bedroom door. When there’s no answer, I knock a little louder before carefully pushing it open and tiptoeing inside.
As I slink closer to the bed, my eyes fall on him in the darkness. All of the saliva in my mouth instantly dries. He’s lying on his back, one brawny arm thrown carelessly over his eyes. That big broad chest of his is totally bare. Moonlight pours through the window throwing light and shadow across his sprawled out form.
All of my muscles suddenly lock in place. It’s as if I’m completely paralyzed to do anything other than stand over him…
Like a total creeper.
That being said, I don’t think I could stop my eyes from licking slowly over every single hard sinewy muscle even if I wanted to. Which, quite frankly… I don’t.
He’s just so… breathtaking.
So big and yeah… strapping.
So freaking strapping.
I mean, it’s not like this is the first time I’ve seen him bare chested. We used to spend our summers at the country club pool, swimming all day long and hanging out under the hot sun. So, yeah, I’ve seen Sam in a pair of swim trunks and nothing else plenty of times before.
But seeing him like this has something hot zipping right down to my core where it explodes like a firework. I’m completely transfixed by the sight before me.
The urge to reach out and stroke my fingers over all that brute male strength is so overwhelming that I actually have to clench my fingers tightly together so that I don’t do what every instinct within me is screaming for. God, I feel like such a perv standing over him like this. Ogling him while he sleeps.
Is this seriously what I’ve been reduced to?
Apparently so.
Because here I am.
And I don’t seem to be going anywhere either.
Almost savagely, I gnaw at my lower lip wondering when the hell I started thinking about Sam like this. When did I start noticing what a gorgeous body he had? Or how attractive all that thick blond hair was? Or the way his bright blue eyes spear right through me? Leaving me completely breathless.
I swallow thickly as those words echo within my mind.
Leaving me completely breathless.
Yup, this is bad.
I shake my head trying to loosen those dangerous thoughts. This was a mistake. Sneaking into his room so we could talk was a huuuuge mistake. Thank god he’s still asleep. He has absolutely no idea that I’m lurking around in his room. I can just tiptoe right on out before crawling back into my bed and forgetting this ever-
“Vi?” His voice is all thick and raspy as if coated with sleep. It strums something deep within me. “What’s going on?” He blinks sleepily before propping himself up on his elbows. My heart skips a beat as his eyes fasten onto mine. “Something wrong?”
Crap.
Even though he can’t see it, my cheeks heat with embarrassment at being caught in his room. I scramble around for a plausible explanation as to why I’m here. Unfortunately my brain is on some kind of temporary hiatus and I have no idea when it might start functioning again.
“I, um…” big breath in before forcing it out slowly, “I couldn’t sleep.” I sound like a complete moron as I stutter out those words.
At least it’s not a total lie.
His brows knit together as he struggles to wake. A moment later, his eyes are running slowly down the length of me. All at once I’m reminded of being in nothing more than a hot pink tank top that leaves very little to the imagination and a pair of cotton panties.
My first thought is to cover myself, but I resist the urge. A few weeks ago, feeling self-conscious in front of Sam wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. Over the years there have been dozens of times when I’ve changed right in front of him without blinking an eye.
“Why not?” Is it my imagination or has his voice suddenly dropped a few octaves? His eyes flick up to mine every once in a while before straying downward again.
Does he like what he sees?
Oh my god!
I seriously can’t believe that thought just popped into my head. I really need to get out of here before I do something stupid. Something I’ll end up regretting. Something that does irreparable damage to our friendship.
“Sorry I woke you, we’ll just talk in the morning.” It’s hastily that I take a step in retreat only wanting to escape before I become any more of a bumbling fool. “Okay?”
Throwing off the covers, he quickly swings his long muscular legs over the side of the bed until he’s facing
me. “Come here, Violet.”
His voice is deep and gravelly sounding. So completely commanding that it instantly has me halting in place. Another shiver of desire slowly slides its way through me like warm honey. Unsure what to do, I hesitate a few feet from the door while deciding if I should make a break for it.
“Violet.”
My eyes flare wide as his voice whips out again, startling me from my indecision.
“What?” I squeak that one word into the darkness as tension crackles like electricity around us.
“Come here.”
When he holds out his hand, I don’t stop to think about the ramifications. I simply step towards him until his fingers are able to slip around my smaller ones. Slowly, oh-so-slowly, he tows me towards him. With one final tug, I tumble into his strong arms. His body is all warm and hard as I find myself being held securely on his lap.
“Tell me what’s going on.”
I give my head just a bit of a shake.
What am I supposed to say?
And I’ll be honest… having his huge muscular arms wrapped around me like this, having my bottom nestled against his hard thighs… I’m barely able to think straight, let alone string together a few passable words to make a plausible sentence.
One hand comes up to gently stroke my cheek. I almost don’t know what to do with all these intense emotions careening through my body right now. And so, for just a moment, I squeeze my eyes tightly shut trying to regain some sense of equilibrium. I also have to clench my thighs together. Because the pulsing is back in full force and it’s more than a little distracting.
“Look at me, Vi.”
Slowly opening my eyes, they immediately arrow to his. It’s almost desperately that I admit, “I don’t know what’s going on anymore.” I feel so confused and I’m afraid to tell him why. Afraid to admit what I’m feeling. And I’ve never felt like that before. I’ve always been able to share everything with Sam.
He stills beneath me. “What do you mean?”
“It feels…” unsure what to say, my words end up trailing off. Inhaling a quick breath, I realize that I’m standing on the cusp of a decision.
Do I tell him what’s really going on?
Or do I continue trying to tamp it down, ignoring these growing feelings?
“What does it feel like?” Even though his words are gentle, I hear the underlying thread of tension running through them. The very same tension that seems to rear its ugly head more and more often between us.
Tension that feels strangely like-
“Different,” I finally whisper.
Does he feel it too? The way it swirls around us, ratcheting up the energy until it’s almost impossible to breathe?
His brows draw slowly together. “In a bad way?”
No… this doesn’t feel bad.
But it does feel scary.
Like taking a huge leap into the darkness and having absolutely no idea where you’re going to land.
I shake my head.
Neither one of us say a word. Suddenly he shifts me around in his arms. “Do you want to sleep here tonight?”
It’s not a question I have to think about. I want to be with him. I want to feel his arms banded securely around me. What I don’t want is to dwell on the reason I feel that way.
“Yeah.”
Lying down, he arranges our bodies. My back is snuggled up against his front. One arm curls protectively around my body. Everything within me that had been restless, clawing to get out, instantly settles as he pulls me close.
Anchoring me securely to him in more ways than one.
After I moved in with my grandparents when I was fourteen, I would have these terrible nightmares. Unexpected flashes from the crash that haunted me for years afterward. The only person capable of chasing them away was Sam. Whenever I’d snap wake from one in the middle of the night, I’d find myself crawling out my window and in through his. He would rouse as soon as I dropped to the floor before opening the covers so I could slide quietly beneath them. It’s as if he knew, even at fifteen, exactly what I needed, because he would simply hold me in his arms just like this and somehow, somehow I was able to sleep through the rest of the night. In the morning, before either of our families would wake, I’d sneak out of his house and back into my own.
That went on for years.
It was during our senior year, when he finally started going out with some girl from our class, that I stopped sneaking in through his bedroom window. I forced myself not to rely on him so much. Because even though we were best friends, Sam didn’t belong to me.
Not really.
So being with him like this has all those old nostalgic feelings of comfort and security hurtling to the surface. No one’s arms have ever felt the way Sam’s do. And I’ve slept with my fair share of guys, it’s not like I haven’t. But none of them have ever been able to give me the same feelings of safety that Sam so easily rouses within me.
It leaves me wondering if anyone else ever will.
Chapter Ten
Feeling all warm and comfy under the thick covers, I stretch my body, fighting my way out of the best sleep I’ve had in months. As soon as I do, three things hit me all at once.
One- I’m not alone.
Two- There’s a warm palm cupping my breast.
And yeah… it feels good.
Three- I’m pretty damn sure there’s a boner nestled against my backside.
And just like that, my eyes are popping open and I’m instantly awake, wondering what the hell happened last night and why I’m blanking on it.
Inhaling a sharp breath, I hit rewind on my brain trying to figure it out.
I definitely remember going to O’Brien’s.
Had a few drinks. Although certainly not enough to get blackout drunk.
Danced. With Sam… and then Liam.
Booed out of the bar as we left.
Sam more quiet than usual on the drive home.
Tossing and turning. Not being able to sleep.
Oh boy… I think this is all starting to come together now.
Went to Sam’s room so we could talk.
That being said, I’m going to hazard a guess that it’s Sam’s big hand palming my boob right now. And that erection snuggled up against me...
Yeah…
Lying there for just a moment, I listen to his deep rhythmic breaths. Okay. Looks like I’ve managed to dodge a major bullet here because, thank you Lord Jesus, he’s still sleeping soundly. Which means that he has absolutely no idea what’s going on.
And that morning timber… I mean, come on, how normal is that?
It’s no biggie.
Like at all.
My body instantly stiffens as he grinds his thick cock against the thin cotton barrier of my panties. Biting down on my lower lip to stifle the whimper of pleasure that wants so badly to escape, it takes everything within me not to wiggle my ass against him in response.
Exactly how am I going to extract myself from this situation without waking him?
That’s the million dollar question at the moment.
Everything already feels weird and tense between us. This incident will only send us careening over the cliff into awkward-ville and I don’t really want to make a pit stop there today. Nope. What I need is to get us back to the land of normal. All this strange sexual tension flaring to life between us is really starting to drive me insane.
I almost wince when his hand gently squeezes my breast as if he’s testing the weight of it in his splayed open palm. A deep growly noise rumbles up from his throat as his cock slides slowly against me again. And damn it… damn it… my nipples are now stiff little points that are begging to be played with.
What I need to do is hightail it out of here ASAP.
Thank goodness it’s Sunday. Carter will be heading back home today. Then I can escape back to my dorm and put some much needed distance between us until I can firmly wrangle these thoughts and feelings back under control again.
&n
bsp; Which I will definitely do, because I don’t have much of a choice in the matter.
For just a few moments, I lay stiff as a board listening to the sound of Sam’s deep, even breathes. Just as I’m about to carefully extricate myself from him, Sam’s hand slowly starts meandering its way from my breast down my ribcage before trying to trail south of the border…
No.
No. No. No. No.
Just as his fingers are on the verge of breaching the elastic band of my panties, I rocket out of bed before practically hitting the door that leads into the hall.
“Vi?” His voice is all groggy, like he’s trying to shake off the thick cobwebs of sleep.
“Yeah?” I’m panting. Like I’ve just run a freaking marathon. My heartbeat jackhammers painfully against the wall of my chest. I need to get the freak out of here.
Pronto. Before I self-combust.
“Where you going?”
“I’m, ah,” I jerk my thumb towards the hallway as my heart continues to beat in double time, “just heading back to my room.”
I can’t help but glance over my shoulder as he rolls onto his back, stretching out that great big body of his on the queen sized mattress. Gulping, I notice just how those thick slabs of muscle bunch and play across his hard chest and arms. Unconsciously my eyes slide down over the tight ridges of his abs until they get to…
Oh.
My.
The breath catches at the back of my throat as my mouth tumbles open into a shocked little O of surprise when I see how the sheet is tented below his waist. Holy crap. His boner is enough to send me scurrying from the room like a virgin on prom night.
***
Two hours later, we’re sitting in a diner about a block away from Sam’s apartment. They serve the best breakfasts here all day long. Naturally this place is packed after the bars close. Can’t say I haven’t been here a few dozen times myself.
Looking completely unruffled by what happened this morning, Sam takes a huge gulp of orange juice before setting the glass back down in front of him.
I’m not going to lie, I’m having a really hard time meeting his blue eyed gaze from across the table. My face feels all hot and as much as I don’t want to be… I’m completely turned on. No matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about the rock hard erection that had been pressed up rather deliciously against my rear this morning.
Friend Zoned (Barnett Bulldogs #2) Page 9
