No one answered, so she struggled to stand up. "Tell me how she is."
The paramedic who'd treated her eased her back to the floor. "We won't know for sure until we get her to the hospital, but it looks like the bullet grazed her. I think she'll be fine."
"Thank God." Helen slumped against the wall. Her eyelids were suddenly too heavy to hold up. As she drifted in the darkness, she heard another siren in the street.
Helen heard voices, footsteps, felt hands sliding her onto something flat. She bumped along the floor, then was lifted into the air. Moments later she was moving, rocking from side to side, sirens blaring somewhere close.
The moments after they arrived at the hospital were a jumble of movement and noise. The room she was in was too small to hold all the people crowding around her. Suddenly her clothes were gone, and she shivered in the cool air.
"Here you go, honey," someone said as they laid a warm blanket over her. Helen floated, her eyes too heavy to open, as the bandage was cut away from her arm.
Too many voices, all jumbled together. Her shivering gradually faded, and she was content to drift. Something was missing, though. She frowned.
Jamie. She wanted Jamie.
She couldn't have him. No. She shook her head, trying to clear away the cobwebs. She couldn't have him long-term. But she wanted him today. She wanted to hold his hand and hear him say everything was fine. That Melinda's kids were safe.
"Jamie?" she croaked.
"What, honey?" A woman's voice, close to her ear.
"Is Jamie here?"
"I'll check."
She drifted for a while, then the woman came back. "There's no Jamie here, Helen. Is there someone we can call for you?"
"My sister," she said drowsily. "Rose. Rose Donovan."
"Do you have a number for her?"
Helen struggled to focus, then slowly recited her sister's phone number.
"You relax, Helen. We'll have your sister here in no time."
Rose was coming. That was good.
But she wanted Jamie.
***
The truck's tires squealed as Jamie turned into the emergency room parking lot. Helen had been here for more than an hour – that was how long it had taken DCFS to come for Andrea and Linc.
He hadn't begrudged the time to stay with the two frightened kids, but now he needed Helen. The paramedics would tell him only that she'd been shot.
He drove into the first spot he saw and ran inside. Skidding to a stop at the triage desk, he said, "Helen Brody. Where is she?"
The nurse's eyes were cool as she studied him. "Is she in the ER?"
"That's what the cops told me. The ambulance brought her here."
"I'll check for you."
His foot jiggled and his skin felt too tight as he watched the nurse study her computer screen. "She's here," the nurse finally said. "But only family are allowed in the treatment area."
"I'm family."
Her unruffled gaze assessed him, as if she could tell he was lying. "And you are...?"
"Her fiance. Jamie Evans."
The woman's face relaxed. "She's been asking for you. Go on back. She's in treatment room ten."
"Thank you."
He had to stop himself from racing down the corridor. Helen was hurt. And she'd been asking for him.
He stopped in front of the cubicle labeled '10' and reached for the curtain, taking a deep breath. Helen was in there. She'd been asking for him. So at least she was conscious. Squaring his shoulders, he edged the curtain aside and stepped into the room.
Helen was lying on the bed, her black hair spread on the pillow, her face too pale. Her eyes were closed and a doctor was bent over her left arm
One of the nurses turned to him. "You are...?"
"Jamie Evans. Helen's...her fiance." He didn't care that he was lying. He wasn't about to wait in the other room.
The woman smirked as she studied him. "I can see why she keeps talking about you." Her expression softened. "The doctor is almost finished suturing her arm, but you can stand by her right side, if you like."
Damn straight he 'liked'. Edging around the nurse, he reached for Helen's hand, lying on the blanket. "Hey, babe," he murmured.
"Jamie?" Her eyes fluttered open and struggled to focus. When she finally recognized him, she smiled. "You came."
"Of course I came. How are you feeling?"
"Happy." Her eyes drifted closed. "So happy."
"Happy you got shot?" He frowned.
"No. Happy you're here. I wanted you, and they told me you weren't here." She frowned. "They're getting Rose. I love Rose, but I love you more."
His heart swelled. Thank God they'd given Helen the good drugs. He was pretty sure she wouldn't have admitted loving him without being drugged.
"I love you, too, Helen." He curled his fingers around hers, vowing to never let go. "How are you feeling?"
"Good." She smiled at him. "Happy."
"The paramedics told me that Melinda is going to be fine," Jamie said, brushing a curl away from her face. "DCFS has Andrea and Linc, and her parents are on their way from Iowa. They'll watch the kids until she's out of the hospital. Doug is in Cook County Jail. He's been charged with attempted murder, assault, stalking and a bunch of other stuff I don't remember. He's not going anywhere for a long time."
Helen sighed, and her shoulders relaxed. "Good. That's good."
The doctor stood and motioned for the nurse to bandage Helen's arm. "You're the fiance?" he asked.
"Yeah." It wasn't the complete truth, but as soon as the drugs were out of Helen's system, he intended to make it true.
"She'll be here for a few more hours, then she can go home. But someone needs to stay with her."
"I'll be with her." He held her hand more tightly. He wasn't going anywhere.
"Good. The nurse will give you instructions for wound care and her prescriptions. I'm not going to put her in a room – a lot less paperwork if she stays here until she's ready to go."
"Fine."
"Push the button if she needs anything." The doctor pointed to a device hooked to the bed rail. It looked like a television remote.
"Will do." He studied Helen as he spoke. There was a bandage around her arm and an IV in her hand. She looked small and pale in the bed, as if her vibrant personality had been doused by the bullet.
It was the drugs. If it wasn't for the pain medication, she'd be sitting up in bed and taking charge.
Jamie barely noticed the doctor leave the cubicle, followed by a nurse who gathered the instruments and gauze squares from a small table. The nurse pulled the curtain closed, and he and Helen were alone.
Without letting go of her hand, he pulled a chair closer and sat down. A machine next to her bed beeped at regular intervals, and Helen's chest rose and fell slowly. Her eyes were closed, but she clung to his hand.
"How do you feel?" he whispered, not sure if she'd fallen asleep.
"Happy." She squeezed his hand but didn't open her eyes. "You're here."
"Does your arm hurt?"
"Nope. It's all good." Her mouth curved, then she lifted their joined hands and kissed his palm.
He wanted to curl his fingers around his palm and hold her kiss there forever. Damn Doug Ashcroft for putting her in this hospital bed. He leaned forward and brushed his mouth over hers. "I love you, Helen. I'm not going anywhere."
"Good," she whispered, her breathing evening out. She was falling asleep.
Jamie relaxed into the chair, his thumb caressing the back of Helen's hand. Knowing she was okay, he was content to watch her breathe and wait for her to wake up.
He heard footsteps running down the hall outside the door, and figured the nurses and doctors were heading for a different room. Another emergency. Instead, the curtain on Helen's room was ripped open.
All of the Donovans were there, crowding in the doorway. Rose pushed through the crowd and hurried to Helen's side. "Is she all right?" Rose breathed.
"Yeah. She needs t
o stay here for awhile, but they're not admitting her," he said without letting go of her hand.
"What happened?"
"Who did it?"
"Did they catch the shooter?
Jamie looked around at her family, all of them wearing identical expressions of fear and anxiety.
Cut to the chase. "It was a close call, but she's going to be fine."
Chapter 13
Jamie's hand tightened on Helen's. "She was shot. In the arm. Bullet just nicked her. The doctor sutured it up and said she'd be fine." He scowled. "It was the guy who ran his car into her office. He also shot his ex-wife in the head."
Rose sucked in a breath. "Is the wife...?"
Jamie softened the scowl he'd given Mac. "It was a graze. According to what Doug said in his statement to the police, Helen shoved the guy just as he was firing his gun." He clenched his jaw. "The ass...jerk said Melinda wouldn't have been shot at all if Helen hadn't shoved him. But seeing as how he shot Helen, too, I don't think anyone's going to believe him."
He smiled grimly. "Helen kicked him in the knee with her boot as he was firing at her. Seems fitting, since it was his fault she had to wear the boot in the first place. Then she pepper-sprayed him."
Connor's shoulders relaxed. "Even when we were kids, we all knew not to mess with Helen."
The rest of the Donovans exhaled, and some of the anxiety leached out of their expressions. Then Quinn stepped forward.
"They told us her fiance was with her. Helen keeping something from us?"
"It was the only way they'd let me back here." Jamie held the other man's gaze. Quinn could suck it if he thought Jamie was going to apologize. Or back down.
Mac's eyes narrowed, but Quinn just studied Jamie for a moment. Then he nodded. "Got it." Quinn glanced at his siblings, then his mother. "Mind if we wait in here until she wakes up?"
"Of course not. I'm sure she'll want you here."
He wasn't letting go of Helen's hand, though. Not today, not tomorrow. He was never letting her go.
***
It was past nine in the evening, already dark, as Helen limped slowly up her stairs, Jamie's arm around her waist. He fitted her key in the lock and pushed her door open, and she shuddered with relief. Finally back home.
Jamie eased her onto the couch and lifted her now boot-free right foot onto a pillow he set on the cocktail table. Then he put two more pillows beneath her left arm. "You comfortable?" he asked.
"Yeah." She rested her head against the back of the couch and closed her eyes. "None of them followed us home, did they?"
"You're safe."
She heard the smile in Jamie's voice and opened her eyes. "I love my family. I really do. But they were all...hovering. I don't like people to hover."
"They were worried about you, babe."
Her eyes narrowed. "'Babe'?"
He shrugged one shoulder, clearly unrepentant. "It slipped out."
No one had ever called her 'babe' before. She shouldn't like it. The nickname was sexist. But when Jamie said it, all she heard was affection. Caring.
Something else she wouldn't name.
"Come sit down." She patted the couch. When Jamie eased down next to her, he curled his arm around her shoulders and sat as close as he could. Thighs, arms, sides – they touched everywhere.
"Melinda's parents have the kids, right?" She was pretty sure she'd already asked Jamie that, more than once, but she needed to be sure.
"Yeah. They're staying at Melinda's house. Last I heard, she's going home tomorrow. They wanted to make sure she didn't have a concussion after hitting her head when she fell."
"And Doug is in jail."
"Locked up tight. No bail. He admitted running the car into your office, too."
Helen sighed and leaned her head on Jamie's shoulder. He tightened his arm around her. "Thank you, Jamie."
"For what?" He sounded cautious.
"For everything. For taking the kids across the street, and taking care of them after Melinda was shot. For coming to the hospital and staying there with me. For bringing me home. What would I have done without you?"
"You would have managed, like you always do. You're an amazing woman, Helen Brody."
"Better with you there," she murmured.
She nestled closer to his side. She didn't want to manage alone anymore. And what did that say about her?
Something scary. Something she shouldn't even be considering.
She turned her head and found him staring at her. His eyes were serious and a little scared as he said, "I'm glad I could be there for you. I was exactly where I wanted to be today. With you. My only regret was that I couldn't protect you from that madman."
She squeezed his hand. "You protected the kids. That was so much more important. You didn't scare them. You made sure they didn't see their mother being shot. You kept them away from their father." She twisted to face him. "I saw how good you were with them." She drew a breath, feeling hollow inside. "You're going to be a great father."
"Yeah, Helen. About that..."
"No, let me go first." Her heart was breaking, but she needed to say it. Needed to let him go. What had happened today made it clear that Jamie was meant to have children. A bunch of them. Something he wouldn't have with her.
Letting him go would destroy her. But better now than wait another month or two. Saying goodbye would be infinitely harder then.
"I can't see you anymore, Jamie. It's not fair to you. You need to find someone who can give you all the kids you want, and we both know that's not me."
"Helen." He shifted so he was facing her and took her hands. "I already found the only woman I want to have kids with. And if she can't have kids? There are other ways to make a family besides giving birth."
Her heart went all mushy, and she ruthlessly beat the hope down. "I can't do that to you."
"Why not?"
"Because you'd end up hating me, and I couldn't bear that."
"I'd never hate you, Helen. I love you, just like you love me."
"I don't...how did you...?" She must still be loopy from the pain meds. Funny, because she'd felt every bump in the road on the way home.
He smiled, his eyes tender. "You told me so."
"I did not!"
"You did. When I first got to your room in the ER. You told me you were glad I was there. Rose was coming, you said, and you loved her, but you loved me more."
"You're making that up."
"Sorry, babe. You spilled the beans and now you're stuck with me."
"You can't believe stuff I say when I'm under the influence of drugs," she sputtered.
"Is that the only time you're going to tell me you love me?"
"I'm not...I never intended to say that."
"Are you telling me it's not true?"
Helen looked at their joined hands. Since she'd apparently blurted out her love in a drug-induced haze, she wouldn't lie to him. She did love Jamie, more than she'd ever loved anyone.
Running her thumbs over the backs of his hands, she wished she could hang on tight and never let him go. But because she loved him, she wouldn't.
"One of the first things you told me was how much you loved kids. How much you wanted a big family. I can't give you that."
"We don't know that for sure, Helen." He scooted around so he was kneeling in front of her. "But even if it is true, that doesn't change how I feel about you. I love you, too, Helen. Before I met you, I would have laughed at the idea of love at first sight. Now I know it really does happen."
He took her hands in his. "I love you. You're it for me. I don't care if you can't have kids. I love you, and I'm not letting you go. I won't let you be all noble and self-sacrificing. We'll figure this out together, Helen."
He leaned forward and kissed her. He tasted like the coffee he'd been drinking at the hospital. The dried-out pizza he'd brought her from the cafeteria.
He tasted like Jamie. The man she loved.
She eased back and stared into his green eyes, now
overflowing with love. "I love you, too, Jamie. I don't want to let you go. But I don't want you to resent me later. I don't want you to regret not having children."
"No regrets." His hands tightened on hers. "I just want you, Helen. We can work out the details later."
She hesitated, and he kissed her again. "We'll go to a doctor. Get another opinion about kids. Just say you won't walk away."
It was wrong. Completely selfish of her. But God help her, she couldn't tell him to leave. Her heart would shrivel into a cold, hard pebble, and her existence would be a desert, devoid of life. "I do love you, Jamie," she whispered. "I don't want to let you go. And if we can't..."
"Shh." He put his finger on her lips. "We're not talking about can't. We're talking about maybe. And we're going to think positive thoughts. We're going to hope."
He scooped her up in his arms and headed for her bedroom. "I'm putting you to bed tonight. But after your arm is healed, all bets are off. We're going to think positive thoughts every chance we get."
Helen leaned her head against Jamie's chest and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I want to hope with you, Jamie," she murmured, pressing her mouth into his neck.
"Then that's what we'll do. Except for one thing." He stopped next to her bed, bent his head and kissed her. "We're not going to hope we'll live happily ever after. Because that's a sure thing."
*****
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