“It’s been a while since we’ve seen you,” she said, skipping over the part about their uncomfortable holiday reunion. He and his father had never gotten along well, and he had always hated his parents’ fake merriment of the season, too. They couldn’t even get a real tree. “What have you been up to?”
He swallowed a laugh. Where would he start? Might as well go straight to the highlights. “I’ve got some news for you and Dad. I’m... I’m a daddy myself now.”
She blinked. He had inherited the same shade of blue eyes. “What? Why...? Why didn’t you tell us this when you were here for Christmas?”
“I didn’t know then.”
The condo door opened. Tyler John Buckham Sr.—called John his whole life—stepped into the living room.
His eyebrows went up at the sight of his son sitting on the couch. “Tyler.”
Tyler rose and they shook hands. He had gotten his dark hair from his father and would someday get the silver streaks, too. Probably sooner than he anticipated, considering what had happened lately.
“We weren’t expecting you.”
“Sorry. Should I have called in advance?”
His father’s eyes narrowed. He leaned down to pick up the extra tumbler from the tray. Tyler took his seat again.
As his mother poured a drink, she said, “John, Tyler has news for us. He’s become a father.”
Still standing and now blank faced, Tyler’s dad looked at him. “Is that so? Why is this the first we’ve heard of it?”
“As I told Mom, I didn’t know it myself. I just found out a few weeks ago.” He took the folded-up newspaper from his back pocket and handed it across the table.
His mother took it and looked down at the front-page photo. She let out a gasp. “Tyler! Are these all yours?”
“All?” His father took the newspaper from her and glanced at it, then at Tyler again. “Three children? So that’s why you’re here.”
For a moment, Tyler was taken aback. He should have expected the reaction. Playing daddy had made him forget what his own father was like. Had also made him forget why he wasn’t cut out to be a dad himself. “Yes. That’s partly why I’m here. I wanted you and Mom to know.”
“And the other part? You want help taking care of these kids, I suppose.”
I don’t want your charity. Shay had told him that. Suddenly, he knew how she felt.
“Why else would you be here?” his father went on. “You can’t possibly raise three kids on what you make.”
“I’ll manage.”
“Does your wife work?”
“We’re not married. We’re not together.”
His father stared at him. “Then what was this, a one-night stand? And now you’ve got three children to support, all at once. What were you thinking, Tyler?”
“I wasn’t expecting three kids, that’s for sure.”
“Watch that backtalk.”
“Dad.” He forced his jaw to unclench. “I couldn’t have controlled how many babies came along.”
“You could have controlled yourself. At the very least, you could have been responsible enough to use protection.”
He had him there. He’d nailed it all. It had been a one-night stand, a good time that wasn’t supposed to turn into anything else. Instead, it had led to more than Tyler could believe. “Protection doesn’t always work. But no, I didn’t use it. The point is, the babies are here now.”
“And you’re expecting us to help you out.”
“No, I’m not. I told you, I wanted you and Mom to hear the news. I thought you would be happy to have grandkids, that you might want to see them.” He rose from his seat and grabbed the newspaper from his father’s hand. “I should have known better. You’re not even happy to have a son, let alone grandkids.”
“Tyler—”
“Forget it. We all know I’ll never be good enough to measure up to your standards. I’ve just figured out my kids never will, either—because you won’t give them a chance. But they won’t ever know that. I’ll make sure to keep them away from here.”
He was careful not to slam the condo door as he left.
He was more careful not to run.
Hadn’t he done that enough times already? He had taken off from his parents’ home at seventeen, run from Texas just a couple of weeks ago. Worst of all, he had left Shay again, just as he had soon after they had met. This time, she had told him to go. But he hadn’t argued.
The elevator doors slammed shut. He stared at his reflection in the stainless-steel doors. He didn’t like what he saw, and he liked even less the way he felt inside.
This visit home proved what he had known all his life. He couldn’t be the son his parents wanted him to be.
He wasn’t the man Shay wanted for herself or their kids.
Out on the street again, the heavy air made it hard for him to take a deep breath. Or maybe the struggle came from the tightness like a band across his chest.
He couldn’t exist the way he had been living, couldn’t keep feeling so aimless and unsettled, couldn’t keep running. It was time to figure out who he was and what he wanted.
* * *
SHAY SAT ON the bed in the hotel suite she and Jed’s granddaughters used to prepare for weddings held at the Hitching Post. She leaned back against the headboard and shifted a couple of the sample books she had spread out around her.
At the sound of heavy footsteps in the hallway, she looked up expectantly. It sounded like Jed. It was her first day back to work since he had given her extra hours and, knowing him, he wanted to make sure she wasn’t overdoing it.
It was also three weeks since Tyler had left...but she didn’t want to think about that.
Sure enough, the minute Jed walked into the room, he gave her his usual smile and said, “How are you doing, girl?”
She spread her arms wide, her palms up, gesturing at the suite. “Living a life of ease, thanks to you, boss.”
He chuckled as he took the chair at the desk adjacent to the bed. “That’s what I like to hear. And the babies?”
“They’re wonderful. They’re nearly a month old already, and they just had another checkup yesterday. Dr. Grayden says they’re doing fine. They’ve grown so much. They’ve gotten so strong.” She thought of Tyler’s excitement over Jamie’s grip...and pushed the vision aside. “Grandma and I have been exercising the babies. She says moving their legs—as if they were riding a bicycle—will help strengthen the triplets’ muscles for when they’re ready to crawl and then to walk.”
“You’re going to have your hands full when that day comes.” He smiled. “I’m planning to stop by to see them again soon.”
“I wish you would.”
He nodded. “In the meantime, don’t you wear yourself out. Mo and Paz both would have my hide if they thought I was running you into the ground.”
“No chance of that. This is easy work compared to mommying three infants.”
“And I’m sure you would much rather be home doing that than working here.”
She would, but she could never say that to Jed. His generosity was going to help her take care of those infants. Instead she laughed. “It’s a moot point, since I didn’t have a chance of staying home, anyway. You should have seen Grandma shooing me out the door. And our volunteer for the day hadn’t even arrived yet.”
“Mo wanted some time with her great-grandbabies, I’ll bet.”
“Yes, I think you’re correct—Grandma did want the babies to herself.”
“That’s only right. Grandparents need that alone time.”
So did daddies.
“I didn’t like it at all,” he went on, “when my three boys left Cowboy Creek, especially when two of them got married and then Jane and Andi came along. I was glad whenever they came to visit.”
“I’m sure you were. It must have b
een so nice for you to have Tina grow up right here.”
“It was. I learned more about her quicker than I did with the other girls. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t get to learn about them, too. Every time they arrived, though, it came as a shock to see how much they had changed.”
If Tyler never visited, he wouldn’t face those shocks. He wouldn’t see any of the changes or the stages their babies went through. “They do grow fast,” she murmured.
“They do,” he agreed. “And they’re all so different, just like your three little ones. But of course I love all my girls, just the way you love your babies.” He smiled. “Tina always was the one with her nose in a book, yet she also had a good head for numbers. Jane was the artist in the family, always drawing or painting—sometimes on the other girls’ books.”
They both laughed.
“I’ll probably have to face some of that, too,” she said.
“I reckon you will. Most likely, you’ll also have one of the three who’s a peacemaker, like Andi. Tina never was one to get riled, except those times Jane drew all over her books. Andi could always get in between the other two girls and calm them down.”
“That will be Bree, I’m sure. She’s more relaxed about everything. Tyler says—” She stopped short.
As if he hadn’t noticed, Jed spoke again. “That’s the thing about babies. Triplets or not, they can all pretty much seem alike when they’re so tiny. It’s only after they grow a bit that you get to see they have their own ways. And of course, the older they get, the more evident that becomes. With Tina and Jane and Andi, I never could have predicted exactly how they would turn out or what they would eventually do with their lives.”
“That’s not completely true.” She grinned. “You more than predicted who they would marry.”
He laughed. “So I did. Well, after all, those couples needed a few nudges along the way. But I’d never have gotten involved if I didn’t think the matches were meant to be.”
She froze in the process of shifting one of the sample books aside.
Was that why Jed hadn’t helped her? Did he believe she and Tyler wouldn’t make a good pair?
“The point is,” he continued, “you have to respect those differences. You have to stand back and let your grandkids—and your kids—manage on their own.”
It seemed almost as if Jed had overheard her argument with Tyler.
I think you’re controlling their futures—
When Tyler had begun to speak, she had cut him off. Now she would never know what else he might have added. She would never know if he might have been right.
She looked at Jed. “You have to help guide your kids as they grow up, though.”
“Of course you do. But, within reason, you’ve also got to let them make their own choices and their own mistakes. Aside from that, all you can do is love them and be there when they need you.”
Her babies would need a daddy, too, but they wouldn’t have one. They would have her to blame for that. “I’ll always be here for my kids.”
“I have no doubts about that.” He smiled at her, his clear blue eyes holding her gaze.
“And I think I’ve got your message, boss,” she said softly. “I should have expected you to try a little reverse psychology. You did everything you could to bring us together, didn’t you? Including leaving Tyler on his own the night of the wedding?”
He chuckled but said nothing else.
Jed was helping, after all. He was teaching her about love and acceptance...and learning from mistakes.
Suddenly, she realized Grandma had used the same tactics on her.
You have to let him go from your heart.
She couldn’t let Tyler go. He was in her heart and always would be.
She stared back at Jed. “You and Grandma know exactly how I feel about Tyler, don’t you?”
“I think we do.”
She sighed. “I’ve messed things up, Jed. Tyler left because I told him to go.”
He reached across the bed to pat her hand. “Nobody can fault you for that, girl. No matter how you feel, you need to do what’s right for the babies. And you are doing the right thing by putting them first.”
Her eyes misted. She blinked the moisture away.
Grandma had said the same thing in just those words. She and Jed were trying to help, by forcing her to see her mistakes for herself.
Her worst mistake of all had come from not trusting Tyler.
Chapter Nineteen
The minute she finished up her work, Shay rushed out to her car. This was the first day she had driven it since Tyler had picked her and the triplets up at the hospital. The outside was still shiny and clean. The inside still smelled faintly of his aftershave. She gripped the wheel and sped away from the Hitching Post.
This was also the first time she had been separated from the babies since the day they were born. The few hours apart from them had seemed endless.
The weeks Tyler had been gone felt like an eternity.
At the house, all three triplets were fast asleep in their cribs.
She could envision Tyler reaching down to lift Timothy or Jamie or Bree, always moving so carefully as he carried one of them across the room. She could see him with a bundle in the crook of his arm as he bottle-fed a baby. She recalled him changing a pair of pajamas and muttering about the tiny fastenings.
He’d resisted learning to change a diaper, though. Her laugh at that thought ended on a small sob. Now he would never learn.
By the time the babies began to wake and look for a feeding, she was more than ready to cuddle each one to her.
Grandma walked into the bedroom just as Shay kissed Bree and tucked her back into the crib. “Giving that one a little extra loving, are you?”
Yes. The extra loving Bree was missing from her daddy. She forced a smile. “You can never give too much.”
“That’s true enough.”
Tyler had been proud of Timothy for being the strong big brother and had encouraged Jamie, the smaller of the two boys, to stretch and grow. But whether he had realized it or not, he had developed a special bond with his daughter.
Gonna be a heartbreaker someday.
Bree had become Daddy’s little girl.
“And what’s going on with you, love?” Grandma crooned to Timothy. She gestured to the crib. “Just see what our big boy has done, Shay.”
Shay moved closer. Timothy had kicked off the light blanket she had draped over him. “I think that exercise we’ve been giving him is paying off.” She lifted him, holding him upright with his feet just above the mattress. He flexed his legs, kicking so energetically his tiny feet pushed the covers aside.
“I do believe we’ve just seen him reach a milestone,” Grandma said softly.
“I think you’re right.” Shay’s voice sounded shaky. Her laugh cracked in the middle. Her eyes flooded with tears she fought to blink away. “Here, Grandma. Maybe you’ll have better luck tucking him in than I did. I’ll be right back.”
Brushing at her eyes, she left the room.
The thought of all the milestones, of all the progress the babies would make without their daddy to see them, had broken her.
She went down the hall to her bedroom. Her cell phone sat on the corner of the dresser. She grabbed it and touched the screen to bring up the last number she had called.
The phone on the other end rang and rang, finally switching to voice messaging. Swallowing a sigh of impatience, she waited for the recorded message to end.
At the beep, she took a deep breath, brushed away her tears again and said, “Layne, when you get this, please call me. I need to talk.”
* * *
THE SUN WAS just setting when Tyler pulled up and parked at the curb in front of the small two-story house. Lights shone through the front window curtains, and music floated through t
he open window. Flowers in boxes attached to the porch railing bobbed in the breeze, reminding him of the balloons tied to the mug he had bought for Shay. The air smelled of those flowers and fresh earth, and above that of garlic and tomatoes, probably from supper bubbling on the stove.
It was all so different from the big city and his parents’ place. Here, he could breathe.
When he rang the bell, the sound of the radio lowered.
“I’ll get it, Grandma,” Shay called from inside the house. “It’s probably Jed.”
A minute later, the door swung open. She stood there with her hand gripping the door the way she had the day he’d come home...come back from his shopping trip. The day he had kissed her. Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe at all.
Her eyes were huge and glowing. “You...you’re here.”
He coughed out a breath, looked down at himself, then up again. Not smiling, he said, “Yeah. So I am. Can we talk?”
She frowned, and his heart thudded against his breastbone. Looking puzzled, she stepped onto the porch.
“Wait,” he said. “Could we talk upstairs?”
“In the babies’ room?”
He nodded. “I want to see the kids.”
She stared past him to the flowers blowing in the breeze, yet her gaze seemed unfocused. “They’ll want to see you.”
They, not we.
But she turned and went back inside. It was a start.
He followed her through the living room and up the stairs, his heart hammering harder than it should have after so little exertion.
On the landing, he reached out to put his hand on her shoulder to stop her from walking down the hall. Instantly, the warmth of her made him a little crazy, made him want to take her into his arms and kiss her until she agreed to everything he was going to ask her tonight.
Sanity made him drop his hand and step back. “Before we go in there, I have to tell you something. I want more than just this one visit, Shay. I want to see the babies whenever I can. I want to know I’m part of their lives.” He braced himself, knowing that after the way he had left her—again—he would have to fight for his rights. Would have to face the risk of losing both the battle and something very precious in the process.
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