'Constance, stop it!'
'Leave me a-lone.' She tried to bite his hand.
'Not until you've calmed down!' He held her struggling body firmly.
'This has got nothing to do with you!' She glared up at him, hair tumbling around her face.
'Then I'll make it have something to do with me!'
She stopped threshing suddenly as the fight went out of her. And then her face was against his chest and his arms were gentle around her. Her tears were making his shirt front damp, but he didn't move or say anything, just stroked her long hair and made hushing sounds, as if to a child. In a little while, Connie was herself again, and she made to move out from the circle of his arms, then looked up at him wanderingly when they remained about her.
'I'm OK now,' she said, breath coming in short, jerky gasps as the shock of what she had been about to do came to her.
'Yes.'
'You can let me go now, then.' She even smiled.
His hands dropped. 'Please, sit down, Constance, I want to talk to you.'
When he went over to the couch, she had no choice but to follow. She sat, crossed her long legs, looking at him curiously.
'What is it, Mr Jessop?'
He smiled. 'I think we know each other well enough by now for you to call me by my first name.'
'All right. What did you want to speak to me about, Samuel?'
'Were you really going to chuck yourself from the window just now?'
She looked embarrassed. 'I lost my head. I wasn't thinking what I was doing.' She paused. 'Why? Wouldn't the publicity be good for you?' she added, her old spirit returning.
'Why choose my window?'
She laughed at that, a natural sound, and he was relieved to see she was herself again. She hesitated, then said:
'What did you mean about making it your business?'
He picked a piece of invisible fluff off his jacket sleeve and said, without looking at her, 'I've been thinking a great deal about you lately, Constance.'
'Yeah?' Her eyebrows arched, she looked at him quizzically.
'I want to make you a proposal.'
'Why should you?' she asked bluntly.
'It'll be good for both of us.'
Her eyes narrowed as she waited to hear what his offer was. His next words had the effect of making her mouth drop open in astonishment.
'Marry you?' she echoed incredulously.
'That's what I said.'
'You're crazy.'
'I mean it.' He rolled his cigarette between his thumb and forefinger and gazed down at the tops of his shoes.
She moved her head from side to side in bewilderment. 'Why should you want to? You couldn't love me, you hardly know me and ... and I certainly don't want to marry you. I don't love you, the idea's preposterous. Why, I've never thought of you once in that way, it simply never occurred to me.'
'I could give you everything you've ever wanted, Constance,' he persisted. 'And you're wrong in saying I don't love you, I haven't stopped thinking about you since we met.' Her huge eyes opened even wider at that. 'You're beautiful and sweet, and I want to help you, protect you. I've given the whole matter a great deal of thought and marriage would he in both of our best interests. Obviously you don't feel the same way about me as I do you, I appreciate that, but in time you could grow to love me.'
She screwed up her face. 'But you could have any woman you wanted. Why pick on me?'
'I want you.'
Her forehead wrinkled. 'It doesn't make sense. What can I offer you in return? Why don't you marry someone of... your own class, have kids of your own, instead of taking on a ready-made family?'
'Don't think I'm just being noble, Constance. I'm proposing to you for purely selfish reasons. I want you at all costs, and the fact that you're pregnant doesn't make me want you any the less... in fact more, because if you think about it, you're going to need looking after.' Sweat appeared on his forehead and he brushed his upper lip. He supposed he shouldn't have rushed her like this, but he was desperate – and who was to say the girl wouldn't go and commit suicide at the next chance. Opportunities like this didn't happen often, and he knew he had to grab any straw while he could, and this seemed the perfect solution to all his troubles. 'Now, Constance, what do you say? Is it a bargain?'
'You make it sound like one of your business deals, Samuel. l just can't see what you'd get out of a marriage with me. Oh, don't misunderstand.' She smiled faintly. 'It's a very tempting offer; what girl in her right mind wouldn't be flattered, bowled over ... and me in my condition, too? It's just all happening too fast, I can't take it all in. I hadn't thought of keeping the babies. In fact,' her voice took on an edge, 'in fact, I don't think I want to have anything to do with them. Surely you can understand that?'
He licked his lips. 'But I'm offering to adopt them – give them and you a good home, better than anything they could ever hope to get elsewhere.' He spoke with a firmness he was far from feeling and reached for her hand. 'Does it have to make sense? Do human emotions have to be analysed and categorised instead of being accepted at face value? Can't you simply accept the fact that I want to marry you and be a father to your babies?'
'And what of love; doesn't that count?' she asked in a small voice.
'You must be practical.' He edged closer, but Connie shifted away impatiently.
'You couldn't begin to imagine how I feel, Samuel. I was raped, taken by force; The babies aren't even born yet, but already I hate them. I know you think I'm being hysterical, but I can't help it. What sort of mother would I be like?'
'We could get a nanny to take care of them for you, but you'll grow to love your sons, I'm sure of it,' he said, with more confidence now.
'Sons! What if they're not boys, or one of them's a girl?'
'We'll give her away for adoption as you intended, and just keep the boy,' he said easily. 'If you don't want to keep her as well, that is. Makes no difference to me.'
He puzzled her. 'And if they're both girls, what then?' she challenged.
'Don't say that!' He caught himself and lowered his voice. 'It's a fiftv-fifty chance that one will be a boy.'
'Does it change things if you're wrong? Look, I don't want either of them, whatever they may be. I won't even want to see them after they're born. God, can't I make you see?'
'Think about it a minute,' he said persuasively, although he was conscious his palms were now clammy. 'You'd live in luxury for the rest of your life if you married me. Wouldn't you like that? You'd want for nothing, I'd see to it. Isn't this a way out for you, too?'
She wasn't listening. 'I could have the babies, then get them both adopted, like I'd first intended. That way I wouldn't have to care for either of them, nanny or no nanny,' she said slowly, almost to herself. 'Then I'd marry whom I pleased, if and when I wanted to... if I found someone who'd take me after all this, of course.'
'You see, there's always that! Don't be silly,' he said, suddenly filled with panic as he saw his dreams slipping from his grasp. 'Believe me, I love you. Could another man show his love for you as much as I'm doing?'
She was suddenly unsure of herself again as his words penetrated, and wondered if perhaps she was being foolish. She glanced at him surreptitiously, trying to imagine Samuel Jessop as her husband.
'Oh, I just don't think I know what I want any more,' she said in a rush.
He kept the triumph from showing on his face. Constance was weakening, he recognised the signs. 'All right, my darling,' he said warmly. 'I understand. Let me know when you decide, and I promise you'll have the best care and supervision when the babies are born.' He could hardly contain his excitement. 'I know you'll come round to seeing sense in time. I just know it.'
Her face relaxed as some of the tension she was feeling eased. 'You may be right, Samuel. I've got to admit that this does take a weight off my mind.' She looked across at him shyly. 'And ... I already like you a little, so maybe I could get to ... love you.'
He bent forward as if on cue to take
her into his arms, but she shook her head and pulled back, raising a warning finger. 'But if they're both girls ... '
He stifled a groan. 'God forbid,' he muttered feelingly.
'If they are,' she went on, as if he hadn't interrupted, 'they'll both be adopted. That's my condition.' Connie still thought he was nuts – wanting to adopt another man's son instead of having his own but, if that's what he wanted. then it was his look-out and who was she to look a gift horse in the mouth?
He took a deep breath. Tt was a gamble he had to take, but the odds were on his side. What did he have to lose? 'I'll take the chance if you will, Constance.'
Only then did she allow him to take her into his arms, and they sealed the bargain with a chaste kiss.
When Connie had gone, Samuel crossed his legs and leaned back comfortably, a broad smile on his face. No one need ever know that it wasn't he who had made the girl pregnant, and married her to make everything legal. This way his manhood would never be in doubt, and he'd have an heir into the bargain – a son at last, one he could call his own. He savoured the thought lovingly, marvelling at the way the pieces of the jigsaw had finally fitted together at last.
Constance would make him a good wife and, should things go wrong, he doubted whether her will was stronger than his and that he wouldn't be able to cope with any ensuing fuss. No one need ever guess his secret if she co-operated fully, whatever the outcome, and he was sure he could manage her. She was young, gullible and inexperienced, but was undoubtedly very attractive, and would be even more beautiful later. With a little coaching and polish at the edges she'd do him proud – all she needed was a firm hand.
As he congratulated himself on having pulled off his best takeover for ages, his thoughts were rudely interrupted when the door burst open a second time. This time it was Sheila who entered, but his ready smile on seeing her drained away when he saw her face. He steeled himself for the explosion and hoped she wouldn't make a scene – he'd hate to have to get rid of her, she was radically irreplaceable.
'I've just met Connie in Reception,' Sheila cried, slamming the door violently and coming to stand before him. He looked up innocently. 'She told me the news.' Her lips were white around the edges. She looked as if she were about to burst.
'About her having twins, or about our forthcoming marriage?' Samuel asked mildly.
'Both,' she snapped. She made an appealing gesture. 'You can't and mustn't do this to her, Sam. I won't allow it!'
'You won't?' His mouth was a tight line. 'Don't forget I can do as I please, Sheila. Kindly don't interfere in what doesn't concern you.'
Impatiently she stripped off her gloves and poured herself a coffee. 'You know it's not fair on the girl.'
'Are you sure it's Constance's welfare you're thinking of?'
She crimsoned at the taunt but her anger wasn't abated. 'Have you told her?'
'About what?'
Irritated, she stamped her foot. 'Don't pretend to be thick, you know what about! What will happen afterwards when Connie will naturally want to perform her wifely duties? Have you thought about that!'
'Very carefully, and I'll worry about that when the time comes. It may not matter afterwards, when she's given me a son.' He stabbed out his cigarette leisurely. 'You never know, she might be the one woman who can arouse me.'
'And if not?'
'I prefer to look on the bright side, my dear.'
'You're a bloody coward.' Her nostrils flared. 'Sam, you disgust me!'
'You underrate Miss Sands, Sheila; she'll be getting something out of this too.' Sheila snorted. 'Constance may prove to be very understanding and generous. She might forgive me if things don't turn out as we both expected.'
'Ha! And she may not understand, and who could blame her! God, how short-sighted and selfish can a man be! At least you could have let her know what she was getting herself into, given her a choice. It would have been the honourable thing to do, instead of deceiving the poor kid like this.' Her lips trembled. 'Ah, Sam, you should've told her what to expect... prepared her... '
He stood up then, his face dark. 'Sheila, do I have to tell you again to mind your own damn business! Constance may look on you as an elder sister and confidante, but you're not her mother!'
Her chest heaved. 'You want a boy so badly, you're willing to destroy the girl you marry, just as long as Samuel Jessop gets his way!'
'Don't be so melodramatic,' he said cuttingly. 'For the last time, kindly take your nose out of my affairs. And another thing, if you dare breathe so much as a word to her about me I'll– ' he stopped, suddenly ashamed of his outburst as Sheila buried her face in her hands. His hands dropped to his sides. 'Don't,' he said clumsily. 'Don't cry, love. I didn't mean it. I wouldn't hurt you for the world.'
'Sam, oh, Sam ... '
In a long stride he had reached her and put his arms around her quivering shoulders.
'I've got a chance to be happy,' he murmured. 'I don't want to hurt you, you of all people, and I honestly don't want to hurt Constance either. I don't see why anyone should be hurt.' He clutched her hands tightly. 'Give me this chance, Sheila. I need your support as much as ever.'
She wiped her eyes and slowly nodded. 'All right,' she said heavily. 'You have my blessing as well as my friendship, Sam. I won't stand in your way.'
'Bless you,' be said gently, and bent to kiss her lips.
Her mouth still tingled from his kiss even after he had left.
The wedding arrangements were organised with incredible speed. This generated much speculation among Jessop's acquaintances – but so far from being bothered he was delighted at the inevitable talk that he was doing the honourable thing by marrying a girl whom he'd made pregnant. The wedding was arranged for a month later at a Registry Office. Connie's disappointment at not being married in church was soon dispelled by the bustle and activity.
They had a simple ceremony with Sheila as one of the witnesses, but the reception afterwards more than made up for any previous lack of fuss.
Connie felt as if everything were unreal, that she were living a dream, although Samuel told her to take it in her stride. She had never realised how kind and considerate her husband could be. Nothing was too much trouble for him, her slightest whim was attended to. The diamond ring she now wore on the fourth finger of her left hand was almost beyond belief, and she must have flashed it before her eyes a hundred times or more since he had given it to her. Never in her wildest imaginings had Connie thought she would own so many beautiful things; he lavished jewellery and expensive gifts on her as if his money was endless. The honeymoon consisted of a week in the West Indies and five days at St Moritz, because she had read somewhere that it was one of the most luxurious resorts in Switzerland.
How proud she felt being addressed as Mrs Samuel Jessop, how deferentially she was treated when they knew to whom she was married! It was a dream come true, and sometimes Connie had to pinch herself to make sure it was real. Life was wonderful and she was so happy: with herself, with Samuel, with everything – and how crazy she was about him now.
Honeymoon over, Connie was installed in Jessop's penthouse and even had her own room. How sweet of him to think of it, how considerate of her comfort, for the larger she grew, the more uncomfortable she became at night, finding it difficult to sleep so that she'd read novels and magazines until she dropped off from sheer exhaustion.
'Consummation will just have to wait until after my son's arrival,' Samuel told her teasingly, himself half-convinced by what he said.
Connie snuggled up to him and he laid his hand gently over her large stomach.
'It's daft getting married then having to wait so long before I can make love to my own husband.' She sighed blissfully.
'You don't regret it, do you?'
'Not yet,' she said mischievously, only teasing and, in spite of a spasm of fear, the smile remained set on his lips.
He passed his hand lovingly over the bulge under the smock she wore. He grinned. 'I can feel him kicking.'
> 'Them,' she amended.
'Is it getting easier for you to bear?'
She knew he meant the condition of her mind, not her health. 'Not really,'she said frankly. 'Still, at least you'll be here to love the boy, even if I can't to begin with. You've been right about us so far, so maybe I'll change my mind about the kid as well. Anyway, even if I don't love him straight off, you can give him double portions, can't you?'
They were quiet for a moment, each with their own thoughts. Then: 'I met Sheila yesterday,' Connie went on chattily. 'We went to that new coffee lounge that's just been opened in the square. You know, I swear something's bugging her, though she didn't let on to me. Never does.' She eyed her wedding ring thoughtfully. 'I wish she'd get married and settle down. It's about time that bloke of hers stopped mucking around, she's getting much too thin ... not like me, eh?' She giggled, but there was no answering smile from her husband.
'Sheila's going steady?' he asked disbelievingly. It was just as well that Connie wasn't looking at him, or she might have won dered at the look on his face.
'Sure, told me about him ages ago. I thought you knew.'
'No.' It was strange, but the thought of Sheila having a lover tucked away somewhere made him feel betrayed. He'd always taken her love for granted. He shrugged the thought away. 'How did it go at the clinic this afternoon?' he asked, shifting a little on the settee so that she would be more comfortable.
'Fine,' she assured him. 'Blood pressure normal, and weight ... well, maybe just a little over what I should be.' She chuckled. 'It must be all the unaccustomed rich and fattening foods you've been stuffing me with lately.'
He looked worried. 'Do they say you should take it easy?'
'Oh, don't fuss about me, Samuel. I'm perfectly fit and nothing's going to go wrong.'
He relaxed in relief, then smiled at her indulgently.
'You mustn't worry about a thing, Constance. They know the approximate date that the twins are due, and you'll have your own private room so you'll get plenty of rest. You're having the top consultants and the best treatment money can buy, so don't you worry your pretty head about a thing, you hear?' He kissed the tip of her nose. She really was a sweet kid, and she tried hard to keep herself amused and occupied. She was an affectionate girl, and he was groring very fond of her.
Capital Sins Page 14
