by Beth Wiseman
“Bishop Ebersol, it wonders me—if there is an emergency problem that needs tendin’ to for the kinner, is going to Noah right?”
“I know he is your bruder, Mary Ellen,” the same man responded, “but you know what is right and wrong, no? Having said that, I would think it right to say that only in emergencies should you take yourselves or your kinner to Noah.”
“Ya.” Mary Ellen sighed.
Noah was disillusioned if he thought this community was going to bend the rules. He, of all people, should know that. Carley quietly adjusted her purse on her shoulder and leaned an ear toward the den.
“Samuel, you will now talk with the Englisch woman in your haus and tell her it is best that she not visit with Noah. We do not want her newspaper article filled with stories from the past.”
“I will talk to her,” Samuel answered.
There couldn’t have been a worse time for Carley’s cell phone to ring in her purse, the zingy music louder and more annoying than usual. She fumbled for the phone, which seemed to have an endless ringtone, flipped it open, and found the End button as fast as she could. She looked up to see Lillian standing in the entryway between the kitchen and the den, with several people peering over her shoulder.
“Sorry,” Carley mumbled. She stuffed the phone back into her purse. “Sorry to interrupt your meeting.”
Lillian quickly covered the space between them and turned to face the group gathering in the doorway, some straining to have a better look. “This is my friend Carley, visiting from Houston.”
The guests began making their way through the kitchen and toward the back door, a few nodding in Carley’s direction. Their expressions made Carley feel like she had committed some horrific crime. Only Mary Ellen and Rebecca smiled slightly at Carley while maneuvering through the room. Then along came Sadie.
“Hello, Carley,” she said. “How nice to see you again.” Sadie leaned in for a hug. “They are not as scary as they look.” She pulled away with a wink before heading toward the door.
Carley tried to smile as the rest of the group trolled by, eyeing her with suspicion. Samuel was the last to come through the kitchen. After bidding farewell to the last person, he turned to face Carley and Lillian. “Can we sit down and talk?” He motioned the two women toward the benches at the kitchen table.
Lillian took a seat next to her husband, and Carley slid onto the bench across from them. Lillian fidgeted, obviously loath to look Carley in the eye.
“Carley, we are glad to have you here,” Samuel said. He reached over and placed his hand on Lillian’s. “Lillian has been lookin’ forward to your visit.”
“I’m happy to be here,” Carley responded. Lillian continued to avoid eye contact, and Carley suspected it was difficult for her to bite her tongue and let Samuel have full control of the conversation. She wished she could tell her friend not to look so nervous. Carley didn’t think any less of Lillian.
“The situation with mei bruder is causing a stir in the community. Noah comin’ back is hard on my family, especially mei mamm.” Samuel’s tone was gentle, his eyes kind. “Did you know he is planning to open a doctor’s office near here?”
“He told me today. Actually, he took me there to see it. It’s going to be very nice.”
Samuel drew in a breath. “Did he tell you about the book?”
Carley nodded and glanced at Lillian, who finally looked her in the eye. “Samuel told me about the book today,” Lillian said.
“He really regrets writing the book, Samuel,” Carley explained. “He said he was young and stupid. He wants to open the clinic as an effort to make up for his past mistakes.”
“We will not be able to go to his doctor’s office.” Samuel’s voice was firm but held a hint of regret.
“Noah said your mother, brother, and sisters have corresponded with him through the mail. Can’t the shunning rules be bent somewhat?”
“Not for us, Carley.” She saw Lillian squeeze Samuel’s hand, as if knowing this was a difficult conversation for him. “I know it’s hard for the Englisch to understand about shunning. Lillian thought it to be a baremlich thing in the beginning too—when she was studying the Ordnung—but now she understands it is to keep the church pure. And in keeping with that, I have to ask you not to put nothin’ in your story about the book.” His kind eyes were pleading with her.
“I’m not, Samuel. Please don’t worry about that. Noah also asked me not to put in anything about the book.”
Lillian squirmed, freed her hands from underneath Samuel’s, and got to the point Samuel was trying to make. “Samuel would prefer it if you didn’t spend any more time with Noah while you’re here.”
Samuel hung his head slightly while Lillian went on. “There’s a lot of hurt and bitterness about what Noah did. He didn’t just provide an inside look at the Amish lifestyle—he also divulged very personal things about the family and members of the community. He should have never done that to make a buck.”
“He was hurt and embittered,” Carley defended. “He had a calling from God to save lives, and his own family ousted him because of it. I don’t understand how, as Christians, you can adhere to this shunning. It is the most un-Christian thing I’ve ever heard of.” She glanced back and forth between the two of them. “I’m sorry, but that’s how I feel. Noah is sorry. God forgives him. Why can’t this district forgive him and give him an opportunity to redeem himself by helping those he loves?”
Samuel stood up from the table. “I’m going to let you and Lillian talk. David is upstairs with Anna. I’ll go check on them before it’s time to outten the lights.”
Lillian waited until Samuel was out of earshot. “Carley, I hear what you’re saying. I haven’t always been Amish. Shunning is a touchy subject, but I have to support Samuel on this. Please tell me you won’t spend any more time with Noah while you’re here. Samuel is very worried about what kind of story you’ll write for the newspaper, and now I understand why. He’s already been burned.”
“Lillian, I would never write anything to embarrass or shame you or Samuel. I think you know that.”
“I know. But understandably, Samuel is worried. It would help ease the tension if you didn’t spend time with Noah.”
The thought of not seeing Noah again invoked regret, an emotion she hadn’t expected to feel. But Lillian was her friend, and this was clearly important to her. Except . . . “Uh-oh. I think Noah might come to the mud sale on Saturday.”
“Oh, Carley, call him and tell him not to! Please. Was he coming so that he could talk to Samuel?”
“I think he wants to see his whole family. Lillian, he’s never seen his nieces or nephews. They are his blood.” She shook her head. “I’m having a terrible time with all this, but I’ll call him and let him know that it would be a bad idea to show up at the mud sale.”
“Thank you, Carley. I promise I’ll make this up to you somehow. I can tell that you like Noah, and I’m sorry to ask you to do this.”
“He’s nice enough. Honestly, I feel bad for him.”
“I can tell that Samuel feels badly for him, too, even if he won’t admit it,” Lillian said as she stood up. “I’m going upstairs to check on everyone.” She crossed the threshold from the kitchen to the den and then turned around. “There are all kinds of Christianity. Some people go to church every Sunday without a clue why they’re there. Others never step foot in church but have a very spiritual connection with God. You have a relationship with God—I can hear in your voice. Please try not to think less of us because of the shunning.”
“Where did that come from? I thought we were talking about Noah.”
“I heard you loud and clear just now what you said about forgiveness. We’re just trying to do the right thing.”
Carley pondered Lillian’s comments as she watched Lillian walk away. Connection with God? Carley didn’t think so. She’d only recited what she had been taught in catechism. This relationship with God that everyone talked about eluded her.
&n
bsp; And whose fault is that?
The thought hung over her. The answer came slowly.
“Mine,” she said aloud.
She reached into her purse for her cell phone and sighed. She knew this conversation with Noah was going to be difficult. Not only did his family not want anything to do with him, but she was bailing on him also.
She opened the phone and stared at it. Then slowly closed her eyes. “Dear God . . . I . . . I pray that I handle this correctly,” she whispered, “and that there will ultimately be some peace for this family.”
Can You hear me?
Saturday morning, Carley watched Lillian bustle around the house—packing the diaper bag, making sure David fed the horses and milked the cows, and giving orders about what needed to be loaded in the car. All the while Carley repeatedly tried to call Noah. For two days she’d dialed his cell phone, only for it to go straight to voice mail. She had left two brief messages explaining that it would be best for him not to attend the mud sale and asking him to call her as soon as possible.
No return call.
Call me, Noah.
“I’ve got to help Samuel in the barn for a minute. He doesn’t usually go to these things, but he has a few items he wants to auction. Did you ever get hold of Noah?” Lillian asked while handing Anna to Carley.
“Lillian, I haven’t been able to get hold of him. I left messages, but I have no way of knowing if he got them. He very well could show up.”
“Do you think he’ll approach Samuel or any of the family?” Lillian tied her apron strings and headed toward the door.
Carley shrugged. “Maybe.”
Noah tucked his blue shirt into his jeans and headed for the faucet. He filled up Chloe’s water bowl and kicked himself for the umpteenth time for losing his cell phone. He hadn’t a clue where it was, though he suspected it had gone missing at the hospital.
The problem was that he never wrote down phone numbers, only stored them in his phone—including Carley’s. He hadn’t had time to find her, either; his shift at the hospital had kept him too busy for anything but the endless stream of patients who came through the emergency room. He could only hope Carley had softened Samuel’s heart and that his family would be happy to see him at the mud sale.
Although he shouldn’t place all the pressure on Carley—it was his responsibility to remedy this situation.
Noah remembered attending the annual sale in Penryn when he was young. Members of the Old Order district ran the sale, and it was a time when both Amish and Englisch gathered together to bid on everything from farm equipment to household knickknacks.
He placed Chloe’s water bowl next to her food bowl on the back porch and made note of the weather. God couldn’t have blessed the event with a better day. The clear sky, sunshine, and wispy breeze left Noah feeling hopeful about the reunion with his kinfolk. And about seeing Carley again.
An hour later, Noah pulled into a parking spot near the Penryn Firehouse, thankful that he wouldn’t have to take a shuttle bus from the church down the street. He walked toward the field and listened as the auctioneer accepted bids on a tractor—one of the many pieces of equipment to be sold. He continued across the dry pasture and lost himself in the crowd, thankful the sale wasn’t living up to its name.
There was a fair mix of Englisch and Amish attendees. Amish men were running the outside auction. He knew the women would be inside readying the firehouse for the sale of quilts and housewares. The event was just how he remembered it. He drew in a deep breath in an effort to calm his rapid pulse.
He wondered, with guarded optimism, how his siblings would react to him after all these years. Time healed. It had been a long time. Would his mother embrace him as the prodigal son he was, or continue to shun him?
He felt despair at the possibility that Esther Stoltzfus might turn her back on him after all these years. That thought cast doubt that he should even be there, but he was resolved to make the attempt. It was all he could do.
Samuel, however, was his primary concern. He had to talk to Samuel whether or not he patched things up with the rest of them. He’d tackle Samuel to the ground if he had to. The situation with David had taken on a new sense of urgency following his conversation with Ken.
A soft voice—one he thought he recognized—interrupted his thoughts. “Noah, is that you?”
Mary Ellen. Her hair was pulled taut beneath her prayer covering and, of course, she didn’t have a stitch of makeup on. Tiny freckles still spotted her cheeks like they did when she was a young girl. For a moment, Noah found himself back at the farm, scurrying around and playing hide-and-seek with Mary Ellen and the others, as if no time had passed.
Mary Ellen was lovelier than he remembered. He leaned in to hug his sister and tenderly wrapped his arms around her. “Oh, Mary Ellen. It’s wonderful to see you.”
Mary Ellen backed out of the hug almost instantly, void of the warmth he had hoped for. But it would have to be enough for now. Her eyes darted in every direction.
“Are these your children?” Noah asked. He motioned to a young girl on her left and two younger boys to her right. He extended his hand to the taller boy. “Hi, I’m—”
“Children,” she snapped before Noah could say his name, “go inside and find your daed.”
The two boys skipped away, but the older girl stayed put.
“Linda, go inside,” Mary Ellen repeated sharply. “I will be inside soon.”
Noah’s heart ached with a vengeance.
“I want to stay, Mamm.” The girl smiled at Noah.
“Go now!” Mary Ellen ordered.
After her daughter reluctantly walked away, Mary Ellen glanced to her left, then to her right. She forced a half smile. “Noah, it was gut to see you. I must go.”
Noah called after her, but Mary Ellen never looked back.
Carley couldn’t understand why she hadn’t heard from Noah. Maybe he had gotten her messages and decided to just be done with all of them.
Lillian toted Anna and the diaper bag while Carley, Samuel, and David each carried a box of wares. Lillian wasn’t too happy about being late. Anna wasn’t happy in general. She’d fussed during most of the trip and continued to do so as they made the four-block trek from the car to the event.
“What if we missed the small housewares part of the auction?” Lillian zoomed ahead of the three of them. “We’ll have to cart all these things back home again.”
“They will auction some house goods early on, and then they will auction the quilts,” Samuel said. “After that, they will go back to auctioning everything else. It will all be mighty fine, Lillian.”
Samuel turned toward Carley and grinned. “It is the first time she’s brought some of her things to be sold. And it’s her first time to be headin’ up the quilt auction.”
“And I hate to be late,” Lillian sputtered. “I really do.”
Carley enjoyed seeing Samuel smile. His mood had been lighter since everything got squared away the night of the meeting. She knew that would change if they ran into Noah.
“Hurry inside,” Lillian instructed. “Everyone has worked so hard. Those quilts should each bring at least five hundred dollars, and some will bring as much as two thousand. Linda and Rachel, along with the other young girls, are so excited.”
Samuel chuckled. “Who is excited, Lillian?” He turned toward Carley. “I believe mei fraa is the most excited.”
“Oh no! Hurry!” Lillian groaned, pushing past the vendors selling hot dogs, pickles, and various snacks. “They’re starting!” Samuel good-heartedly shook his head as they followed Lillian into the firehouse.
Carley wondered if Noah was hidden somewhere in the crowd. The room was packed with several hundred people. In addition to the rows of occupied chairs in the middle of the room, people were standing along the walls. Around a hundred potential bidders were fortunate enough to have nabbed seats. Carley and her crew weren’t so lucky.
“I’m going to head outside,” Samuel said. “I think th
ere is a plow with my name on it.”
Lillian didn’t respond. She was busy giving instructions to three young girls.
The auctioneer and his helpers took center stage. Two intricate quilts were stretched to capacity and hung from a contraption that was suspended from the ceiling. About a dozen young Amish girls stood nearby, ready to swap out the quilts after each one was auctioned.
“Do you want me to take Anna?” Carley offered. The baby was less agitated, but Lillian had plenty to handle without Anna in her arms.
“No, no,” Lillian said. “Go get you an auction number and a list of quilts with their corresponding numbers. Find the one you said you wanted and bid on it. I bet you can get it for about six hundred dollars.”
Wow. Six hundred dollars might be a good deal, but it was a lot of money for Carley. She’d have to see about that. But she had no chance of owning any of the quilts without a bidding number.
“Okay.” She eased her way around Lillian and toward the office on the far side of the building. It was a good opportunity to look for Noah. If he was there, she needed to warn him that his family was not going to welcome him with open arms. I should have never suggested he come here.
There wasn’t a line to get a number. Presumably, serious bidders had already been assigned one and were in place. Carley had never bid on anything in her life. She accepted her paddle with the number 468, rounded the corner, and began fighting her way through the crowd.
And—of all things—right into Noah’s arms.
“Noah!”
“I’ve been looking for you. I lost my cell phone. Yes, stupid, I know.” He shook his head, still holding her as people pushed their way past them. “Anyway, I ran into Mary Ellen.”
“Oh no.” Carley sighed. She suspected that couldn’t have been good.
“What—has something happened?”
“Noah, there was a big meeting going on when I got home the other day. Bishop Ebersol was there, and he told everyone that your shunning must be upheld and that none of them are to visit your clinic.” She searched his eyes for a reaction that wasn’t coming. Then went on. “I’m so sorry, Noah.”
