by Beth Wiseman
“It always smells good in Lillian’s kitchen.” Carley took in the aroma of freshly baked cookies. “David will be thrilled to have some of your cookies.” She motioned for Jenna to take a seat beside her on the bench at the kitchen table.
“It’s amazing how quickly he’s getting his appetite back,” Lillian said, putting two cookies on a plate in front of Jenna. “What about you, Carley? Need a cookie?”
“Absolutely.” Carley accepted one from the round platter.
As Lillian took a seat across from them at the table, they heard the screen door shut. Samuel entered the kitchen, hanging his straw hat on a stand by the door. “How are those cookies, Jenna?”
“Good,” she answered with a mouthful.
“Well, you enjoy them. I’m going to say good night and bathe for bed. Been a long day, no?”
“Ya,” Lillian answered. “I’ll be upstairs soon.”
“Good night, Samuel,” Carley added.
As they munched on cookies, Carley filled Lillian in about the day’s events and her plans for Noah’s clinic.
“But, Lillian, I’m going to help around here too. Don’t worry about that,” Carley reassured her friend. “And I can take Anna with me and put her in a playpen, or give you rides, or whatever you need, and—”
“Carley.” Lillian reached across the table to pat Carley’s hand. “It’s okay. Really. You see how much help we have. I have Mary Ellen and Rebecca, both their daughters, Sadie, and our three Englisch friends who provide rides. I have mei mamm, plus other members of the community are here daily to help. I don’t need the help. Noah does. Now”—she paused—“where shall we have Miss Jenna sleep tonight?”
“I was going to let her sleep in my bed with me. How does that sound, Jenna?”
“Good.” Jenna pushed back a strand of long blonde hair that had fallen forward.
“I have some books that were David’s when he was your age,” Lillian said. “When I go upstairs, I’ll get them and put them on your bed. Maybe you might want Carley to read you a story?”
“Yes, yes,” Jenna said.
Lillian stood up. “Well, I’m going to head upstairs, then. You enjoy your cookies, Jenna. And remind Carley to turn off the lanterns, okay?”
Jenna nodded.
“Good night, Lillian,” Carley said as Lillian headed toward the stairs. Again she thought about what a natural mommy Lillian was.
And how that possibility was lost for Carley herself.
“Where’s Jenna?” Noah asked Dana when she walked into the room.
“She wanted to spend the night with Carley.” She sat down in the chair by the bed.
“Really?” He wasn’t all that surprised. Jenna seemed to like Carley. He liked Carley. Which led him into a conversation he’d been dreading. He’d suspected for a long time that Dana had a crush on him, but he’d had no idea she’d go so far as to try to keep Carley away from him by creating a make-believe girlfriend.
“You must like Carley, if you let Jenna go stay with her,” Noah said.
Dana shrugged. “She’s okay, I guess.”
Noah knew he needed to tread lightly. Dana had been through a lot. But he also wanted things to be clear in her mind. “Carley and I have become good friends.” He paused. “Possibly more.”
Dana turned away from him.
“Dana, look at me.”
But she only shook her head.
“I love you and your sister—like I love my own sisters or even like I hope to love my daughters someday.”
“I know where you’re going with this!” She rose from the chair, hung her head for a moment, then looked back at him. A tear rolled down her cheek. “And I’m sorry for what I did. I just . . .”
Noah reached for her hand. “You and Jenna will always be in my life in some capacity. You know that, right?” He squeezed her hand. “There’s all kinds of love, Dana.”
“But things wouldn’t be the same if you had a girlfriend or got married or something.”
“Do you think I would abandon you and Jenna?” He gave her an incredulous look.
She pulled her hand away, covered her face, and wept. “I don’t know.”
“Well, it’s not going to happen.” He waited while she gathered herself. “I know you want me to be happy.”
She nodded.
“It would make me happy to get to know Carley better.” He paused. “And, Dana, it would make me happy if you and Jenna got to know Carley better too.”
She nodded again. “Okay.”
After helping Jenna with a bath and getting bathed herself, Carley lit lanterns on each side of the bed and pulled back the covers for Jenna to crawl underneath.
“These sheets smell good.” Jenna buried her head in the pillow.
“It’s because they hang them outside to dry.” Carley reached for the pile of books Lillian had left on the bedside table. “Let’s see. Which book should we read?”
Carley offered Jenna four books to choose from while she tucked the quilt up around their waists—the quilt Noah had bought her at the mud sale. Running her hand across the fabric, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was thinking about her too. But every time she tried to imagine them as more than friends, a roadblock slammed down in front of her. He would ultimately regret a life with her.
So why was she allowing things to move forward so naturally with him?
“This one, Carley. Read this one!”
Carley accepted the book. My Family. “Are you sure?” She wondered if a book about family would upset Jenna, given her circumstances.
Jenna’s head bobbed up and down with excitement, so Carley read the book—three times. Then Jenna rested her head in the nook of Carley’s shoulder. It didn’t take long for her to fall fast asleep.
Carley brought the book about family to her chest. While it seemed to give Jenna comfort, it was Carley who was upset after reading it. She missed her mother more than ever, and her regret rose to the surface at not being able to have her own children. As an onslaught of self-pity threatened to drown her, she closed her eyes, knowing she needed a new approach. There had to be some way to feel peace again, some way to move forward.
She’d prayed for David, for Noah, for Lillian and her family. Why was it so hard to ask God to guide her?
Samuel could hear Lillian bustling around in the kitchen and knew she’d be upstairs soon. She’d already caught him looking for the letter once and didn’t seem to understand how important it was. With his son on the mend, nothing seemed more crucial than finding the missive from Noah.
Did God know he’d need this letter someday? Is that why he’d felt so strongly about opening it . . . and then kept it? He’d felt such despair after Rachel died, like he’d never stop hurting. He remembered wanting to go to the shanty to call Noah after he received the letter. But he hadn’t.
He thanked God repeatedly that Noah was able to give his boy a kidney, but he knew things couldn’t change. Samuel’s heart might have softened, but the ways of the community and Bishop Ebersol had not.
Still. He needed that letter.
After checking every drawer in the chest a second time, he sat down on the bed. Where could he have put it?
As Carley tried to push past her feelings of unworthiness and talk to God on her own behalf, Jenna groaned. Carley could see her neck was twisted awkwardly against Carley’s shoulder. She gently nudged Jenna down onto her own pillow and reached for the bedside table. As she set down the book they had read, something fell from the back of it.
A small envelope addressed to Samuel—from Noah. Turning it over, she could see it had been opened. She recalled Noah saying that all his letters to Samuel had been returned unopened or gone unanswered. Evidently, this one Samuel had kept—and read.
She stared at the envelope, then pulled out the wrinkled piece of paper. It looked as if it had been read a hundred times. Knowing full well what she was doing was as wrong as anything she’d ever done, she unfolded the lined piece of white paper. And s
he read.
When she was done, she cried. She cried for Noah. She cried for Samuel. Now she knew exactly what she needed to do.
18
AFTER THEY CAUGHT A RIDE WITH BARBIE TO THE HOSPITAL the next morning, Lillian carefully broached the subject of Noah with Samuel. While they waited for the elevator, she said, “I think it’s nice what Carley’s doing for Noah.”
“Ya,” Samuel responded. Lillian could have sworn he smiled for a split second. “They are in lieb,” he added, shaking his head, his expression reflective of his disapproval.
“Samuel, no one has said anything about love. But what if it were to happen?” she said enthusiastically, threading her arm through his as they entered the elevator. “Don’t you remember how wunderbaar it is when you are first in lieb?” Glad the elevator was empty, she added jokingly, “It hasn’t been that long for us, Samuel. Surely you haven’t forgotten.”
“No. And I love you even more now.”
She released her hold on Samuel’s arm since he wasn’t fond of public affection. “I feel the same way.”
The elevator doors opened. They exited and headed toward David’s room. By now, Lillian was immune to the curious stares they received. She could tell they bothered Samuel, but he never said anything.
“Where’s David?” Samuel asked the nurse in David’s room when he saw that the bed was empty.
The woman retrieved the urine jug from the floor next to the bed and scribbled the measurement on a chart. “He went for a walk with one of the aides,” she said, heading to the bathroom to pour out the contents that had been saved to evaluate David’s kidney output. “We try to get the patients up and walking as much as possible.”
“Thank you,” Lillian said as they headed toward the hall to find David.
“He said he was going to go see his uncle,” the nurse added before they were out the door.
Lillian nodded at the nurse and turned quickly to Samuel, catching a frown on his face. She decided not to comment one way or the other and quietly walked alongside Samuel to Noah’s room.
Lillian was surprised to find Rebecca sitting in a chair by Noah’s bed. David was standing nearby, clutching a walker, with an aide by his side steadying his portable IV. Rebecca jumped up, as if she had seen a ghost.
“Samuel, you’re here so early.” She smoothed the wrinkles in her apron.
“How are our patients doing this morning?” Lillian glanced back and forth between David and Noah.
“Gut,” David said. “I came to see if Onkel Noah wanted to go for a walk with me down the hall.”
Lillian clutched Samuel’s arm, hoping her touch would remind him of his surroundings. His son was in the room.
“I told David maybe later,” Noah spoke up. “I have lab people on their way to draw more blood.” He winked at David. “But it is amazing how well your boy is doing.”
“And we probably need to get him back in a prone position,” the aide added. “David has been on his feet long enough.”
Samuel and Lillian backed up and made room for David to turn the walker around. “I’ll see you soon, Onkel Noah.”
Noah saw Samuel’s scowl then replied, “I’ll look forward to it, David.”
Samuel nodded in Noah’s direction, as if to bid him farewell, and followed David and the aide out of the room.
“Where’s Carley?” Noah asked Lillian as Rebecca continued to look like a child who had been caught doing something naughty.
“She’s not coming until this afternoon,” Lillian said. There was no mistaking the disappointment that registered on Noah’s face.
“I should go,” Rebecca said. She edged toward the door. “Good-bye, Noah.”
Noah smiled at her. “Thank you for coming, Rebecca.”
Lillian felt bad about leaving Noah abruptly, but the doctors made rounds between six and seven o’clock, and she wanted to be in David’s room when they arrived.
“Noah, I’m going to go, too, so that I don’t miss the doctors making their rounds,” she said. “But I will be back later to check on you.”
Noah nodded and forced a smile, but Lillian could still see the sadness in his eyes.
When Lillian left the room, Rebecca was standing in the hallway waiting for her.
“Mamm was here earlier,” she said. “And Mary Ellen and Sadie got a ride from Paul Shank last night. I don’t think Samuel knows, but Ivan was here yesterday, too, and—”
“Rebecca,” Lillian interrupted. It was clear how distraught Rebecca was. “It’s all right.”
“But Samuel . . . ,” she said, shaking her head. “We know how he feels. And what if Bishop Ebersol finds out?”
“Everyone is confused, Rebecca,” Lillian said. “Even Samuel went up against the bishop recently. What Noah did for David is an incredible thing. We should have been here for him more than we have been. That’s my opinion. Instead, we all relied on Carley, and she’s not even his family. Do you know that right now she is at his clinic trying to get it ready for him? He doesn’t even know about it.” She paused. “So don’t tell anyone. She wants to surprise him.”
“I won’t,” Rebecca said. “Do you think they’re courting, Noah and Carley?”
“I don’t think so—yet. But I wouldn’t be surprised if it gets to that.”
Rebecca smiled. “Gut, wunderbaar gut. I like Carley.”
Lillian suspected it would ease all their consciences if Noah found love and happiness.
Carley noticed right away that Dana’s demeanor was different, quieter. She was sure Noah had talked to her, and she couldn’t help but feel sorry for the girl. But after a while, Dana opened up to her, sharing her dreams for the future, how she hoped to attend college someday. Carley even found herself talking about the accident.
They were about three hours into sorting boxes in the back of the clinic when they heard buggy wheels rolling into the parking area. Jenna’s ears perked up from where she was sitting on the floor coloring.
“Someone’s here.” Jenna headed toward the door.
“They must be Amish, whoever it is,” Dana added. She followed Carley down the hallway.
Before they reached the main door into the clinic, Carley stopped and peered through the large glass windows of the waiting room. Four Amish women stepped out of a gray buggy.
“What are they doing here?” Carley recognized the women as Sadie and Rebecca, along with teenagers Linda and Miriam.
She scooted past Dana and bolted out the door. Maybe they have news about Noah or David.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “Is it Noah or David?”
The women looked from one to the other, but it was the spirited teenager who spoke up. “Nothing is wrong. Everything is gut. We are here to help,” Linda reported.
“I told a few people.” Rebecca shrugged apologetically. “But they won’t tell anyone,” she added. “Mary Ellen wanted to come, too, but she is carin’ for the boppli today, so I brought the girls and Sadie.”
Carley noticed the foursome peering over her shoulder, and she turned to see Dana and Jenna behind her.
“This is Dana and Jenna,” Carley told the group. “They’re friends of Noah’s.”
“Nice to meet you,” Sadie said while the other women nodded in Dana’s direction.
Jenna walked blankly past them all, homing in on the large horse in front of the buggy.
“Don’t get too close, Jenna,” Carley warned as Jenna continued toward the large animal.
Linda followed Jenna. “This is Whistle,” Linda said. “We call ’im that ’cause he sounds like he’s whistling sometimes when he snorts.” She looked down at Jenna. “Wanna pet ’im?”
“Yes,” Jenna cooed. But then she hesitated to move closer to the massive creature.
Linda scooped Jenna into her arms and instructed her where to scratch Whistle.
“Well, let’s be gettin’ started,” Sadie said. “Show us where to begin.”
Carley and Dana locked eyes and smiled.
They just might get this clinic ready in time after all.
When Carley walked into Noah’s hospital room later that afternoon, she hoped she didn’t look as exhausted as she felt. She still couldn’t get over the way the women had stepped up to help. They’d certainly made a huge dent in the project. All the boxes were unpacked and things sorted according to room. Even the medical equipment had been placed in each examining room. Carley was optimistic she and Dana could finish before Noah was released from the hospital in a few days.
“Hi, there,” she said to Noah. He was watching TV but quickly looked her way at the sound of her voice. She sat down in the chair next to the bed and crossed her legs.
“Busy day?” He almost sounded irritated.
Maybe he was hurt that she hadn’t called or been by to see him yet today. Or perhaps he was expecting a hello kiss or some offer of affection. But she knew she needed to pull back.
“Yes, it was,” she answered. “How are you feeling?”
“Like I’m ready to get out of here. So I didn’t hear from you. Did you and Dana get the boxes carried inside the clinic yesterday?”
“Yes, everything is inside. The boxes weren’t as heavy as they looked.”
Noah shook his head. “I hate that you girls had to do that. Did Samuel help you?”
“No. Dana and I were able to do it.”
Noah reached for her hand and locked his fingers with hers. “Thank you for doing that, Carley,” he said sincerely. “I haven’t seen Dana or Jenna today either. Thank Dana if you see her.” He paused. “By the way, I talked to Dana last night about the girlfriend story. I guess it took me awhile to figure out why she said that, but clearly she wanted me all to herself.” He smiled. “Anyway, I think things will be fine. How is she acting around you?”
“She seems okay. She’ll be here at the hospital later to see you.” Carley pulled her eyes from his gaze. When she looked back, his expression had intensified.
“Carley, is something wrong?” he asked.
“No, just tired. But I wanted to see you.”
