by Lili Valente
So when the bottom dropped out of her stomach at a few minutes after ten o’clock and anxiety began to dance across her skin on little razor feet, it hit her hard. She reached for her phone and shot a quick text to Jackson upstairs, not wanting to shout and risk waking one or both of the kids.
Is Will okay?
After only a few seconds, Jackson replied, Yes. Still sleeping, but I got the bottle out of the fridge to warm up for the ten p.m. feeding. I’ll be ready when the time comes.
Everything okay out there?
I checked on you a few minutes ago. Looks like Jasper’s down for the count. Want me to come carry him up to bed or are you enjoying snuggle time?
Despite the dread spreading through her chest, Hannah smiled. She was used to Jackson checking up on her. It was part of his natural rhythm to be protective and a little paranoid, but the warming bottles and carrying little boys up to bed Jackson was new. She had never worried that her husband would be an amazing father—he had the biggest heart she’d ever known—but it was still wonderful to see him slipping so naturally into the role of daddy figure. Seeing him hold Will earlier this evening had been enough to bring tears to her eyes.
Happy tears, of course, because she was a happy pregnant woman, one of those annoyingly cheerful gestaters her sister had assured her drove the pregnant women who felt like their bodies had been possessed by foul-tempered aliens absolutely crazy.
But despite the sweet text and her sweeter thoughts about her husband, the nervous feeling pricking at her skin only got worse. Yes, come down, would you? Something feels wrong.
“What’s up, sunshine?” Jackson’s concerned voice came from the deck above her. “You and the girls all right?”
She tilted her head back and smiled to reassure him before she whispered, “We’re all fine. It’s nothing like that. Just need to talk.”
“I’ll grab the monitor from my office and be right down.”
As Jackson’s silhouette faded back into the shadows, Hannah punched out another quick text. This time to Harley. Text or call as soon as you can, okay? Nothing’s wrong, the boys are fine, I’m just having a worry wart moment. Want to make sure you’re okay and having a good time.
Her thumb hovered over the send button, debating whether she should interrupt her sister’s first date night in a year to soothe her own frayed nerves, but then she pressed the green dot and sent the message swooping out into the world. She loved Harley and she was happy for her and wanted to do nice things for the sister she’d reconnected with last August. But Harley had also been a long-standing pain in her ass. She owed Hannah a few “get out of worry” free passes.
And once Hannah explained that her anxiety was growing more focused on Harley with every passing minute, her sister would understand why she felt compelled to reach out.
When they were younger, their twin telepathy had been eerily strong. They’d always seemed to know when the other was in trouble, whether it was Harley having a knockdown, drag out fight with her man of the moment, or Hannah having a nervous breakdown in science class because she’d studied the wrong chapter and was in the middle of failing a test.
On that particular day, Harley had been so concerned that she’d gotten a hall pass and walked by Hannah’s classroom. She’d paused at the door, catching Hannah’s gaze and rolling her eyes when she realized what was giving her twin an anxiety-fueled heart attack.
Harley clearly hadn’t thought failing a test was worth all the angst, but she’d still pulled the fire alarm on her way to the bathroom. The entire school had filed outside. By the time they were allowed back into the classroom, it was time for the final bell to ring. Hannah’s science teacher had gathered up the test papers and announced they would finish the test the next day, giving Hannah a night to study the correct chapter.
She smiled at the memory. In the not too distant past, when she was still busy unpacking all the pain and regret her sister had brought into her life, it had been easy to forget the times when Harley had been her hero.
“What’s on your mind, beautiful?” Jackson’s hands landed gently on her shoulders, his thumbs pressing into the knots on either side of her spine. “You’re tense.”
She glanced down to make sure Jasper was still asleep. “I’m worried about Harley. I just sent her a text, but she hasn’t replied.”
Jackson circled around the couch, setting the baby monitor on the snack-laden table before settling beside her. “Maybe she and Clay are…indisposed.”
Hannah wrinkled her nose at him. “That’s a stuffy way to put it.”
“I’m stuffy, what can I say?” he said, wrapping an arm around her as she leaned against his chest. “You don’t think they noticed the locked room downstairs, do you?”
Hannah snorted softly. “You better believe they did. Nothing gets past Harley, and Clay used to be a spy. I’m sure they noticed, hypothesized, and drew conclusions. Probably accurate conclusions, knowing my sister.”
“Good,” Jackson said. “Then they’ll have some idea what we’re giving up in order to host them for a month.”
“Oh hush.” Hannah nudged him in the side. “You know we aren’t giving up much. I’m too big to have any real fun.”
Jackson kissed the top of her head. “You’re always real fun.”
Hannah nibbled her bottom lip. “What will we tell the kids if they ask about the mysterious locked door?”
“Well, Will is too little to be asking much and Jasper is a good kid. We’ll just tell him that’s a room where we keep grown-up things that aren’t appropriate for children.”
Hannah pulled away from his chest, glancing up at him in the glow of the projector screen. “No, I mean our kids. What do we tell them? I know it won’t be a big deal at first, but eventually, there will come a time when they’ll realize that not everyone’s parents have a locked room where they aren’t allowed to go.”
Jackson stood, pulling one of the footstools over and sitting down facing her before drawing her feet into his lap. “Our kids will feel loved and safe,” he said, his thumbs circling her swollen ankles, drawing a soft sigh from her lips. “And kids who feel loved and safe don’t ask as many questions. And even kids who grow up the way we did assume their lives are normal. When was the first time you realized that not everyone had a nanny, lived in a mansion, or had a psychopath for a father?”
“Point taken.” She rested a gentle hand on Jasper’s head, loving the silky soft feel of his hair, and loving that her sister had raised such a completely normal, happy little boy even more.
If Harley could do it, surely Hannah could, too, no matter how poor her parenting role models had been.
“But if it becomes an issue, we can rent a space somewhere nearby,” Jackson continued, his touch sending waves of pleasure coursing through her, a sharp contrast to the worry still making her tongue tap behind her teeth. “We’ll hire someone we trust to watch the girls and you and I will go have our time somewhere else. It will be the best of both worlds.”
She hummed noncommittally as she flipped her phone over on the cushion.
Still no text from Harley.
Jackson squeezed her ankle. “It will be. I won’t settle for anything less. And if you need convincing of that, I’ll rent a space while your sister and Clay are here and show you exactly how serious I am about making sure you get what you need from me. Everything you need. No matter what else is going on with our lives or how things change.”
Hannah shivered as the memory of last night danced through her mind. She’d needed pillows to make kneeling at Jackson’s feet comfortable, but that hadn’t stopped her. Or him. His touch had been gentle, respectful of the new limitations of her body, but his dominance of her had been as complete as always. He had claimed her, body and soul, leaving her a trembling, whimpering wreck on the floor of their playroom.
And then he’d carried her up to their bedroom and drawn her a bath, sliding the soap over her body until her soul and skin made peace with each other. Afterw
ard, they’d made love again, this time in their bedroom, the place where they were just Jackson and Hannah, not master and submissive. Jackson had spooned her on the bed, lifting her leg over his thigh and sliding his cock inside her from behind, inch by careful inch, until she was filled with the man she loved, surrounded by his scent, his warmth, and the safety of his body shielding her from the world.
She shivered. “No, sir. I don’t need a reminder, but thank you.”
“My pleasure,” Jackson murmured. “Always my pleasure, sunshine.”
“But I would like to call the resort,” she said, tapping the screen on her phone with one finger. “I’ve got a bad feeling that something’s wrong with Harley. My twin sense is tingling.”
Jackson arched a brow. “Your twin sense?”
“I haven’t felt it in years, but we haven’t been in the same time zone for years, either. Back when we were kids, I always knew when Harley was in trouble. I would get this ugly, black feeling in my chest.” Hannah picked up the phone, silently willing her sister to respond. “And I’ve got it bad right now.”
“Call her,” Jackson said, surprising her.
“But I can’t, can I,” Hannah said even as she swiped the arrow to the right, preparing to make the call. “That would be even more disruptive than texting.”
“You’re afraid for her. Call her and let her know your twin sense is tingling. She’ll understand.” He shrugged. “Or she won’t and you’ll know she hasn’t changed as much as Clay seems to think she has.”
Hannah frowned, bringing her hand to cover Jasper’s ear. “Stop,” she whispered. “Not in front of Jasper. Even if he’s asleep. Be good.”
“Good isn’t my strong suit,” Jackson said, his hand sliding up her calf, sending a different breed of tingles dancing across her skin.
“Behave,” she said, smiling as she hit the call button. But the smile didn’t last long. By the time the phone had rung six times with no answer and the line clicked over to voicemail, her worry had reached a new high.
Her voice shook as she left her message. “Harley, call me. I’m worried. I’m afraid something bad has happened. It’s a twin tingle moment if you know what I mean. So call me and promise me you’re okay or I’m going to worry all night.” She sighed before signing off with a soft, “Never ever.”
It was what they had said to each other since they were small, something deeper than “I love you.” She hadn’t felt compelled to say it for a long time, but now, sitting here feeling helpless to protect her twin from whatever bad thing was happening to her, the words meant something.
For years, she’d believed her sister was dead. She never ever wanted to wake up to another morning like that again.
“I’ll call Clay,” Jackson said, pulling his phone from his back pocket. “He contacted me earlier. Maybe he has his phone with him, and they left Harley’s in the room.”
“Thanks, babe.” Hannah wiggled her toes nervously in his lap while his call connected and the phone rang and rang.
“Voicemail,” Jackson said with a frown before leaving his message. “Clay. Call me. It’s urgent.”
“Don’t say that!” Hannah said as he hung up. “He might think there’s something wrong with the kids.”
“Good. Then he’ll call back faster.” Jackson stood and leaned over to scoop Jasper into his arms. “I’ll tuck this one in. You want to go feed Will his bottle?”
“Yes, oh man, I didn’t ever hear him.” She leveraged herself to her feet, grabbing the monitor, which was emitting snuffly, grunty, baby sounds, the fussy precursor to a full-fledged hunger wail. “Help him brush his teeth, Jackson,” she called after her husband. “He shouldn’t go to bed with all that sugar on his teeth.”
“On it,” Jackson said, evidently meaning more than brushing Jasper’s teeth.
By the time Hannah finished feeding and burping Will, changed his diaper, and rocked him back to sleep, Jackson was standing in the living room with one of his friends from work. One of his very big, very scary-looking friends, who divided their time between bulking up at the gym and serving as bodyguards for visiting dignitaries. But she knew from experience that Neville was a gentle giant. The only thing truly scary about the six foot five Polynesian was how good he was at cards. He took her for her entire jar of pennies every time the security firm boys came over for poker night.
“Hello, Neville. Good to see you,” Hannah said, running a hand through her wild hair as she shifted her gaze to Jackson. “What’s going on?”
“Neville is going to stay here with you and the kids while I go check on Harley and Clay.”
“Oh no, you don’t have to do that,” Hannah said, even as relief and gratitude spread through her chest. “I’m sure they’re fine. We can just keep trying to call.”
“You’re not sure they’re fine,” Jackson said. “And neither am I. Clay and I have been working on something behind the scenes and it’s been coming to a head the past few days. There’s a chance it could have put him and Harley in danger.”
“Working on something.” Hannah propped her hands on her hips. “What kind of something, Jackson?”
Jackson exchanged a loaded look with Neville, before crossing the room and drawing her into the kitchen. “The kind of something I don’t have time to tell you about right now,” he said once they were alone.
“You’ve had plenty of time before,” she insisted, folding her arms across her chest. “Why is this the first I’m hearing of this secret project? Which I’m sure is dangerous and probably illegal?”
“It’s not illegal,” Jackson said, meeting her challenging gaze with an unflappable one. “And it’s the first you’re hearing of it because keeping you safe is my number one priority. And that includes keeping your blood pressure down and your worry level low while you’re carrying our children.”
“That’s a bunch of crap, Jackson,” she said, fighting to keep her voice down. “I’m pregnant, I’m not a child.”
“No, you’re not, but you’ve been fighting high blood pressure this entire pregnancy. The last thing you needed was more stress, especially pointless stress. There is nothing you could have done to improve the situation Clay and I are dealing with. Therefore, there was no point in you being informed.”
“This isn’t the playroom.” She frowned harder, hating the helpless, out-of-the-loop feeling throwing her off balance. “You don’t get carte blanche to decide what’s best for me.”
“Yes, I do,” Jackson said in an infuriatingly calm voice. “You can be angry with me if you need to be, but I would do the exact same thing again. If the stress of knowing the truth had caused you to lose the girls, I never would have forgiven myself. And if something had happened to you in the process, I would have had nothing left to live for. You are my world. Nothing else matters.”
Hannah swallowed, torn between being touched and the anger and frustration still pumping through her blood.
“I had no other choice, sunshine,” Jackson continued in a softer voice. “I hope you can understand that eventually. Now I have to go. Stay inside with Neville and stay away from the windows.”
“Oh God, Jackson, what’s going on?” Hannah tangled her fingers in his shirt, holding tight. “Why do we need to stay away from the windows?”
“Because I love you,” he said, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. “And I would rather be paranoid and secretive and overly careful than risk one hair on your head.” And then his lips moved to hers, claiming her mouth with a deep, tender, heartfelt kiss that assured her every word he’d said was true.
She was loved—deeply, fiercely. And if it wasn’t always as conventional as she might like, that was okay. She’d known from the start that Jackson would never be entirely domesticated. He was wild and so was their love, and despite moments like this, she wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Be careful,” she whispered against his lips as he pulled away. “Be so very careful and come back safe.”
“I’ll call you
as soon as I have any news.”
They moved back into the living room and, after a few more words with Neville, Jackson hurried out of the house. Hannah listened to the SUV driving away down the gravel road and sighed before turning to Neville with a tight smile.
“Poker or blackjack?” she asked. “What’s your poison? Because there’s no way I’m going to be able to sleep until whatever is going on is over.”
Neville smiled, a warm grin that lit up his usually stoic face. “You know I’m a poker, man. And don’t worry, everything will be fine. Except your pennies. Those will soon be mine.”
Hannah nodded. “Of course they will. I expect nothing less.”
As she and Neville got out the cards and set up at the kitchen table, she tried to think of nothing but the children sleeping safely in their beds and how nice it was to share an evening with a friend.
But in her mind, she kept drifting to another place, a dark, damp, musty-smelling place where she feared something terrible was happening to the woman who would always be one of the biggest parts of her heart.
Chapter Eleven
Harley
Harley’s body had always been every bit as voracious as her mind.
Her metabolism ran high and when she was younger and less concerned with nutrition, she would get so swept up in whatever drama was in the works that she would forget to eat and end up walking skin and bones. Without adequate calorie intake, her body quickly turned to consuming itself, its hunger so insatiable it had no care for the fact that it had already devoured all the fat on her frame and was now busily digesting muscle tissue she needed in order to survive.
It was the same with drugs and alcohol.
From her first glass of wine or puff of marijuana, her body had immediately adjusted, needing more and more to achieve the same effect. It was why she rarely drank. The amount of wine she needed to consume to feel even a slight buzz was unwisely large.
