“Of course,” Sydney accepted, feeling that same strange sense of déjà vu she’d experienced when she’d met Miles for the first time. She chalked it up to coincidence, but she was hesitant to ask exactly why A.J. had bestowed such a gift upon her.
However, after about five minutes of obligatory small talk, A.J. got to the point.
“I came over early because I have something very important to ask you. A favor. It’s a big deal. A really big deal.”
A.J.’s serious expression caused a flicker of expression to cool Sydney’s blood. “Sure, anything.”
A.J.’s hand went to her belly, in what seemed to be a reflexive, protective gesture. As Sydney ran through a mental list of what might constitute a really big deal, dread knotted in her own belly. Was there something wrong with the baby?
“Is everything okay?” she asked.
A.J. sighed. “Actually, I have two favors to ask you. First, will you be my Lamaze partner? Shane’s working a lot of nights and there’s a chance he might be called away around the time the baby is due. I wanted to have a backup plan to make sure everything is in place.”
Lamaze partner?
Oh.
Oh, no.
Sydney was so wrong for the job. Why in the world was A.J. asking her? It was like asking a little-league player to pinch-hit in the big leagues. She felt a little sick at the thought and had a sudden urge to leave the room, but she managed to control herself.
“Aje, don’t get upset, but I have to ask, why me? Why not Caroline or Pepper? You’ve known them longer and they’re…you know…a bit more kid friendly than I am.”
“Caroline faints at the side of blood and Pepper has her hands full with Cody.”
It was true. Despite Caroline’s good business sense, she was squeamish. And Pepper had recently married Rob Macintyre, who had a disabled son from a previous marriage. While Pepper adored the boy, she did have a lot on her plate.
But did Caroline’s aversion to blood make Sydney more qualified? That was debatable. Sydney had an aversion to kids. Well, that wasn’t completely true. She had an aversion to the thought of having kids of her own.
She’d decided a long time ago that she wouldn’t have children. Not after the horrendous childhood she’d experienced. Her mother had died, leaving Sydney a ward of the state. It wasn’t her mother’s fault, of course. One didn’t have the luxury of planning when they departed. Death never came at a convenient time. But it was particularly difficult for a young child to be left alone in this world. She knew her mother would’ve done anything in her power to have seen her daughter through to adulthood, but all the love and wishes in the universe hadn’t done a bit of good.
Life and death were so far beyond anyone’s control that Sydney couldn’t take a chance of leaving her own child in the same precarious position she’d been in. So the only good answer, the only safe solution, was to simply not have children.
Besides, selfishly, it left her free to pick up and go when it was time.
And it was time to go now, but how would she tell this to A.J.? It was too soon to bring it up. Perhaps if she didn’t get the job, she could somehow find a way to help her friend.
In a sudden claustrophobic frenzy, a flash of heat enveloped Sydney. She went perfectly still. It was what she did when faced with a situation that made her feel caged. Lord knows she’d done a lot of running in her life. Taking the job in St. Michel wasn’t running. Not really. It was moving on.
She inhaled a deep, calming breath and blew it out.
A.J. had obviously given this decision to ask her to be her Lamaze partner a lot of thought. Sydney’s gaze strayed to the flowers and the candy. It obviously meant a lot to her if she would go so far as to bribe her.
Or perhaps it meant that deep down A.J. knew Sydney might say no.
Why would A.J. ask her?
Her of all people. The one who was least equipped to coach a friend on bringing a baby into the world.
“You do remember that I’m not particularly maternal, right?”
“I think you’ve never given yourself the chance to be maternal,” A.J. countered. “When I look at you, what I see is someone who is smart, confident, organized. Someone who possesses a lot of common sense. Those are all the qualities needed for a good coach. Plus, there’s a chance that Shane won’t be deployed. You might not even have to do it. So would you at least think about it? It would really give me peace of mind.”
“Why not ask one of your sisters?” Sydney suggested.
A.J. leveled her with a stare. “Really? Syd, you’ve met my sisters. Which one would you pick to help you through something like that?”
She was right. Sydney wouldn’t enlist any of A.J.’s sisters to help her out in a crucial time. They’d always been a bit preoccupied with their own lives. Sadly, A.J. had never been close to any of them. Still—
“I really don’t know that I would be any better than the worst of them,” Sydney said.
“That’s not true and you know it,” A.J. countered. “That’s why I chose you.”
To buy herself some time, Sydney turned around and walked to the cupboard. She took out a vase and filled it with water. The silence was deafening as she began trimming the flower stems so that they were the perfect height for the arrangement.
A.J. finally broke the silence. “Okay. So, you don’t have to give me an answer now. Think about it for a while. But there’s one more thing.”
More? Sydney held her breath as she looked up into her friend’s hopeful, smiling face.
Were those tears glistening in A.J.’s eyes?
Oh, no. Don’t do that.
“Shane and I have talked about this at great length and we would be so happy if you’d agree to be the baby’s godmother.”
Sydney dropped the flower she’d been trimming and accidentally gouged herself with the shears.
“Oh!” she exclaimed, when what she really wanted to say was bloody hell!
“Did you cut yourself?” A.J. asked. “Are you okay?”
Sydney examined her finger and saw that it was just a small nick. She’d barely broken the skin. She turned on the faucet and held her finger under cold water—as much to cool down the new wave of claustrophobic heat that was closing in on her as to relieve her cut finger.
“See what a mess I am?” She couldn’t look at A.J. “I can’t even trim a flower stem responsibly. I’d be a terrible choice for a Lamaze coach, much less a…godmother. A.J., did you not hear a thing I said?”
A.J. reached out and touched Sydney’s arm. “You would be great. That’s why we chose you.”
Mercifully, the doorbell rang, giving Sydney a temporary out of this living nightmare.
A.J. gathered the flowers that still needed tending and said, “Here, let me finish this while you answer the door. But, Syd, think about it, okay? Please? I mean the godmother thing. We really think you’d be great. You’re exactly the type of strong, independent woman we would want to raise our child if we couldn’t.”
Miles dried the last of the dinner plates and hung the damp towel on the oven door’s handle.
The others had helped with the bulk of the cleanup, which was apparently standard practice with these Thursday night shindigs. Everyone was encouraged to bring original recipes to try out. Even though it was July, tonight they were looking ahead to the holidays and trying recipes that would work for a Thanksgiving menu.
Tonight, there had been three different poultry main courses, four side dishes and three desserts. Miles’s personal favorite had been the individual pumpkin mousses with brandied whipped cream.
Everyone had pitched in with the cooking. Those who weren’t chefs, which basically meant everyone other than A.J. and Caroline, helped with the prep work and uncomplicated cooking. Afterward, everyone helped with the cleanup. It gave a whole new meaning to too many cooks in the kitchen, but there was a synergy and camaraderie about the evening. It felt like a big family—or at least a commune of like-minded people, if you didn�
�t count Lenny, who had been remarkably subdued tonight.
As their coworkers had finished up and started to leave, Miles had purposely hung around, taking his time with the dish drying, looking for any excuse to stay.
“There you go, madam.” He turned to Sydney, who had just put away the last of the silverware, and gestured to the clean kitchen with both arms outstretched.
“Thanks for staying and helping me finish up,” Sydney said. “You didn’t have to.”
“I couldn’t leave you to do the rest by yourself.”
“Really, there wasn’t that much left to do,” she said. “But I’m glad you stayed.”
Something hung in the air between them. Something so heavy it was almost visible.
“You’re really great at this.” Her voice was a little raspier than usual. “Can I hire you by the hour?”
“What exactly did you have in mind?” He cocked a brow and then smiled at her.
“Well, I was strictly talking about your cleaning services, but if you’re suggesting something else, maybe we better finish this bottle of wine and talk about it.”
“We probably should. We can’t let it go to waste. And I certainly won’t leave you to drink alone.”
He watched her as she poured the rest of the bottle of cabernet into two wineglasses. He liked the easy banter between them, which seemed to happen so naturally. She was quick witted, and funny and smart. She had the most magnificent green eyes—the color of sea glass rimmed by a darker shade of jade that enticed him to stare a little longer than he should, trying to pinpoint their exact color.
When she turned to hand him one of the glasses, he set it down on the counter and took her hand and raised it to his lips.
From the moment they’d met, there had been an undeniable attraction between them that had sizzled into a certain kind of electricity. Since then, they’d been edging closer and closer to this moment.
As their lips brushed for the first time, unspoken feelings spilled over into a physical affirmation of how much he’d longed for her. He hadn’t even realized how powerful this moment would be.
The kiss started tentatively. Slow and soft. Then it flared into a breathtaking explosion of ravenous greed, as if they were drawing their last breaths from each other.
Something, maybe it was the wine, made Miles feel a little dizzy. But the taste of her—hints of black currant from the cabernet and cloves from the dessert, and something intoxicating—righted the axis of his world, which, for a moment, had tipped and begun to spin out of control.
She had awakened something in him that had been sleeping, a hunger he didn’t even know was possible.
There was a taste of promise and the forbidden. The two sensations collided and had him leaning into her, pulling her closer.
She slipped her arms around his neck and fisted her hands into his shirt collar.
He kissed her neck, and her head lolled to the side in rapturous abandon.
“This can’t change anything at work,” she whispered breathlessly. “In fact, I’m not sure this is such a good idea.”
“What isn’t good about it?” He traced her jawline with his finger and she shuddered.
“This,” she said. Yet she didn’t move away. In fact, she seemed to lean into him a bit.
“This?” He leaned in and kissed her again, softly and slowly.
“Yes, this.” This time, she kissed him, then gently nipped at his bottom lip. “Isn’t there a no-fraternizing rule at work?”
“Not that I’m aware of.” He brushed her hair off her neck and kissed the tender spot behind her ear.
Her sharp intake of breath made his loins tighten. No-fraternizing rules be damned—if there was such a thing. There was something here that wouldn’t be denied.
“I think we’ve already crossed that line,” he said, “and even if we could turn back now, I don’t want to.”
But he did stop. He pulled away just a little bit and looked at her. “I don’t want to force you into something you don’t want to do, but I think whatever this is between us could be something good. So if you really don’t want this, please tell me now and I’ll walk away.”
Chapter Six
On the first Friday of every month, Pepper, A.J., Caroline and Sydney always gathered for a girls’ movie night. Usually, they used the opportunity to catch the latest blockbuster, but since it was A.J.’s night to choose the movie, and her husband was out of town, she’d opted to stay in and have the girls over for homemade Italian sodas, salted caramel popcorn and a movie on DVD.
“So, I’ve been dying to ask,” said Pepper. “What’s going on between you and our illustrious director?”
As if their radar had picked up on the utterance of Pepper’s juicy question, Caroline and A.J. stopped talking and focused their full attention on Sydney, whose mind immediately flashed back to last night’s kiss.
“What do you mean?” She put on her best innocent face, despite the way her brain was screaming, We kissed! And it was heaven!
In fact, when he’d asked if she wanted him to stop, that’s how she’d answered his question. By giving him a long, lingering kiss. He’d kissed her back in a way that made her wish it could’ve lasted for days.
Even though she knew she had no business doing what she’d been doing, she couldn’t resist him.
She didn’t want to resist him, but that didn’t mean the entire world needed to know. Especially because she was so confused about what to do. The girls would ask questions. They’d try to make the attraction into a great romance.
The logical part of her brain reminded her that now was the worst possible time to get romantically involved with a man she’d just met—that had become a constant inner monologue. But the other, foggier part of her head, reminded her that Miles’s kiss had been the best damned kiss she’d had in a very long time. If the kiss was a benchmark, imagine what else he could do with that tongue.
Thank God good sense had overruled the promise of a very good time because that’s all it could be— a short-term good time—and an hour or so after the kiss had begun, she’d ushered Miles out before things could get out of control. Before they really did reach the point of no return that Miles had talked about.
The thought left her breathless and she blinked it away as fast as she could. Sometimes it was as if Pepper had the uncanny ability to read minds, and her friend was looking at her as if that was exactly what she was doing now.
“You know what I mean.” Pepper crossed her arms and eyed Sydney speculatively. “I’ve seen the way the two of you look at each other. So dish. Now.”
Sydney looked from one friend’s face to the next, hoping she didn’t resemble a deer caught in headlights. However, they definitely looked like hunters intent on bagging their prey.
“He’s…nice,” she finally admitted.
Pepper let loose a rather unladylike whoot and fist pumped the air. “I knew it!”
Pepper, their resident debutante and always the picture of decorum, never acted like this.
“Why are you making such a big deal out of it?” Sydney asked. “All I said was that he’s nice, and it sounds like you’re trying to pair us up. Hold up there, cupid.”
“Then why did he just text you and ask when he could see you again?” Pepper held out a cell phone. Upon closer inspection, Sydney realized it was her own phone.
“What are you doing with that?” she demanded. “Give it to me.”
Pepper complied. Sydney punched a few buttons, bringing the phone to life. Sure enough, there was a text from Miles.
Six simple words: when can I see you again?
And the cat was out of the bag. She felt her cheeks burn.
“Why are you reading my texts?” Sydney insisted.
“Your phone was on the coffee table,” Pepper said. “The text came up while you were in the kitchen. I wasn’t trying to snoop. It just sort of popped up.”
Sydney groaned.
“Why are you hiding this?” Caroline asked.<
br />
“There’s nothing to hide.” Sydney hoped her face was more of a stonewall than her wavering voice. She felt utterly and completely unconvincing.
“Syd, he wants to see you. Again,” said A.J. “Why are you fighting this? And just as important, why are you leaving us out? We need to love vicariously through you. You’re our only single friend.”
“Love vicariously?” Sydney scoffed. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
Her girlfriends might talk a good game when it was just the four of them, but A.J., Caroline and Pepper were all faithfully settled down.
Despite the fast girl talk about vicarious romance, all three of her friends were very happily married. They couldn’t seem to understand why Sydney wasn’t clamoring to get to the altar, too.
Sydney was elated for them and their happiness, but she didn’t need to be paired up.
Aah, wait a minute. She had the sinking feeling that because of that text and Pepper’s eagle eye, this girls’ movie night might turn into a love intervention instead.
She did the math: Miles was an attractive, single man (even if he was a little young for her taste) and she was a single woman. It was a phenomenon that stretched all the way back to Jane Austen’s days: the universal truth about single men in possession of good fortunes being in want of wives.
She had no idea of Miles’s financial position, but she knew that she wasn’t about to be roped or coerced or cowed into a relationship just because she was the only one of them that was still single.
Suddenly, she was feeling as if she’d become their project.
Maintaining long-term relationships with the opposite sex had never been Sydney’s forte. Why on earth would she limit herself to one sweet in the man-candy store?
What fun would that be?
The man-candy store phrase that used to be her mantra rang dry and hollow. Still, just because she and Miles were single didn’t mean they would be good for each other. She tried to convince herself that she wasn’t interested in pairing up with anyone right now. Even though she knew in her heart of hearts that wasn’t completely true.
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