He handed a horrified Sydney the phone.
Chapter Eight
Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it, was all Sydney could think as she watched the Mercer family send off Lucy and her date to the dance.
One minute Sydney had been sitting in Bistro St. Germain with Miles, daydreaming about what it would be like to be part of a huge family; a couple of hours later she found herself in the middle of everything.
To say it was a bit overwhelming was the understatement of the year. At certain points—such as when his mother, Deena, began making a big deal out of the fact that Miles had brought a girl home—she’d wished she could divert the big brood’s attention and quietly slip out into her personal freedom.
Alas, that opportunity had never presented itself, and now, here she stood in the kitchen helping Deena clean up the remnants of the big spaghetti dinner the family had enjoyed after Lucy had left for the dance. The family had insisted that Miles and she stay.
When it’s twenty-two people who won’t take no for an answer against people who don’t quite know where they belong…well, it suffices to say there was strength in numbers.
Plus, it gave her a chance to get a read on this big rift that was dividing Miles and his father. Her preliminary conclusion—at least at first glance—was that the father-and-son relationship wasn’t damaged beyond repair.
Miles was playing with nieces, who were hanging off him like little monkeys. He was great with them. He looked so natural.
He’d make a great father someday, and Sydney had a feeling that he just might be the one to give the family their fifth Miles Mercer.
A strange feeling knotted in Sydney’s belly. It was an emotion that fell somewhere between longing and regret. She had no idea what it was like to be a sister, niece, daughter or…mother…part of a real family. As she watched him, she put a hand on her stomach as if the gesture could quell the uncomfortable sensation.
“You okay?” asked Deena. “Sometimes spaghetti sauce can upset the system, if you know what I mean. Do you need an antacid, honey?”
“No, thank you, I’m fine, really. Actually, your sauce is delicious. In fact, I was going to ask you if you would share your recipe. There’s nothing quite like homemade.”
Deena began to rattle off a list of ingredients and how-tos, but then stopped. “I’ll write it down for you. Don’t let me forget before you leave, okay?”
“That’s a deal.” She rolled up her sleeves, plunged her hands into the sudsy water and began methodically cleaning the plates, which they had to do in batches since there were so many.
How in the world did Deena live without a dishwasher?
Miles, who had managed to free himself from his adoring nieces, popped into the kitchen.
“Do you two pretty ladies need some help in here?” he asked.
Deena shook her head. “I think we have it all under control. In fact, Sydney, why don’t you go on in there and relax with the rest of the family? You’ve been a big help. I can take it from here.”
“I wouldn’t dream of leaving you to clean up all alone. It’ll go faster if the two of us work on it together.”
Miles came and stood between the two of them, putting an arm around both of them. “Then that means it will go even faster if three of us are working on it.”
He went to pick up a dish towel to help dry, when the nieces came running into the kitchen.
“Uncle Miles! We’re getting ready to start a game of Monopoly. Come play with us!” they said in unison.
“Give me about twenty minutes. I need to help Grandma and Sydney finish cleaning up the kitchen.”
They made little-girl protesting noises, the sound that only children who lived a carefree childhood and didn’t have to worry about anything more pressing than whether their favorite uncle might join them for a board game could make. The way childhood should be, she thought as she smiled at the way they had resumed hanging on him. He played the part well, stomping around the kitchen acting like some sort of overgrown kid himself.
Then again, he was only twenty-nine, so that wasn’t so far-fetched.
“Oh, go in there and play with them, Miles,” Deena said. “They don’t get to see you enough as it is. I can’t have you hiding out in here.”
“Would you like to join us?” he asked Sydney.
Sydney shook her head. “Go have fun. I’ll join you when we’re done.”
“Yes, shoo,” said Deena. “Go on and get yourself out of here. I’m going to be selfish just this once and keep Sydney in here with me. I want to get to know her better. This is probably one of the few chances I’ll get for a little uninterrupted one-on-one time.”
Sydney wasn’t sure if uninterrupted one-on-one time was a good thing or not. However, it seemed that Deena Mercer didn’t have a selfish bone in her body when it came to her kids and grandkids, Sydney mused, as she rinsed and stacked clean plates up for Deena to dry.
“She’s a keeper, Miles,” Deena said. “Now go on and play.”
Sydney felt her face burn scarlet. The woman might not be selfish, but she certainly knew how to embarrass someone. What was she supposed to say to that? Especially when Miles simply smiled and left the kitchen to get in the game with his nieces.
When they were alone again in the kitchen, Deena said, “I really do appreciate you helping me out, hon.”
“Like I said, it will go much faster with two of us. I don’t know how you manage such a big family without a dishwasher.”
Deena laughed. “Actually, what I meant was I’m grateful for how you helped out with Lucy’s lipstick. I know Miles would’ve done it on his own. I didn’t realize he was on a date or I wouldn’t have asked him in the first place.”
A reflex inside Sydney made her want to protest and say it wasn’t a date. Especially after how Deena had called her a keeper, but before she could form the words, Deena was telling Sydney the story of how Lucy messed up last year.
Sydney didn’t have the heart to interrupt her.
When Deena finally took a breath, Sydney said, “Wow, that could’ve been serious. I’m glad she was okay.”
Deena shook her head. “You know, she was the sweetest, most awkward little thing until she started middle school and she grew boobs. Then all the boys wanted to know her. She’s been a challenge, but I suppose this is how she learns. In our family, we have a saying, ‘only new mistakes.’ It’s better that she make the mistakes sooner rather than later when they could be catastrophic.”
Sydney watched Deena intently and knew that Lucy was a girl with a strong support system. Lucy was loved and accepted. She’d fallen, but she had landed in this loving, nurturing family’s safety net.
Suddenly, Sydney felt every bit like the interloper she was. She could listen and nod. She could even prod a big brother to travel twenty miles to purchase a lipstick reward, but that was where it ended.
It felt very foreign and odd. That hollow feeling of longing and sadness returned. It was the strangest feeling, because in her rational mind, she was happy that the Mercers were such a warm, loving family. But in the broken heart of the scared child that still lived inside her, the little girl who’d never recovered from losing her mother wept for everything she knew she would never have.
That old familiar wall went up. She didn’t know why she was so surprised because it always did when she found herself in the midst of a traditional family. She could intellectualize that her family phobia was ridiculous. When she was younger, she thought she could get past it, outgrow the feeling that family was always a “trap.” A siren song that promised to always be there. They make you care, they make you trust, and then they leave you.
She realized her mind had been drifting when she saw Deena smiling at her, but she had no idea what she’d said.
So Sydney just smiled back. For the blink of an eye, she wanted to believe in the strength of the family bond and unicorn couples. But then Deena reached out and squeezed Sydney’s arm. “Miles like
s you. I can tell. I like you, too.”
“Yep,” said the elder Miles, who was standing in the threshold of a room that was off the kitchen. “I haven’t seen him look at a girl the way he looks at you since Julie.”
“Who’s Julie?” Sydney asked to no one in particular, but neither seemed to hear her. Instead, Deena said, “That’s right, Dad. I don’t think Miles has even brought home a girl since Julie, has he?”
Dad grunted a “nope,” as he walked past them into the family room where the big Monopoly game was going on.
Who was Julie? And what was the significance they seemed to be placing on the fact that Miles hadn’t brought home a girl—a girl? Had he brought other women home since the infamous Julie? She suspected she knew the answer, especially since he said he hadn’t been home in five years.
She had to fight the urge to remind them that her visit didn’t count. It wasn’t a planned meet-the-parents occasion. They were really just delivering Lucy’s lipstick. She really wished she hadn’t stayed for dinner and she wished that they wouldn’t make such a big deal over it.
The thought suddenly had Sydney’s throat closing up, and it was difficult for her to breathe. She did her best to smile and managed a squeak that had the semblance of something agreeable before she turned to dry her hands on the blue-and-yellow dish towel that was threaded through the refrigerator door handle.
While her back was turned, she heard Deena say, “Excuse me for just a moment. I’ll be right back.”
That’s when Sydney realized that the activity in the game room had grown mostly silent, except for the sound of Miles and his father arguing.
The elder Miles had said little during dinner and had disappeared into that room off the kitchen after the meal, but now it appeared he was the one doing most of the talking. Until Miles’s voice rang above his father’s.
He wasn’t yelling, but he was firm when he said, “I’m not going to do this tonight, Dad. Not here. Not now. If you want to meet somewhere and talk about this man-to-man like civilized human beings, that would be great. But not now. Instead, we’ll say good-night.”
Sydney didn’t wait for Miles to tell her they were leaving. She set about gathering her purse and exchanging awkward goodbyes and thank-yous. Then they were out the door. Only then was she able to draw in a true, deep breath, one that reached all the way down to the depths of her diaphragm.
They’d been together for nearly twelve hours today, sharing pieces and parts of their lives. He’d shared his family. She’d met the unicorn couple, as unlikely a match as they seemed. Miles believed. For a few very short minutes tonight she’d wanted to believe, too.
Still, after Miles opened the car door for her, settled her in and was on his way around to the driver’s side, she exhaled a heavy sigh. With it went all of the remnants of false hope and dreams she might have inadvertently harbored.
Miles likes you. I can tell. I like you, too.
The Mercers were a great family. Miles was strong and sexy and had just enough of a different creative vibe that she could have imagined herself falling for him. Hard.
But Sydney knew better.
When Miles got in the car and looked at her with those eyes that made her insides melt because she wanted to lose herself in them, she forced herself to look away.
The drive to Sydney’s house was quiet. They’d spent a lot of time together today. Miles figured they were all talked out. For now.
All in all it had been a great day. Despite the way it had ended as they’d left his parents’ house.
Leave it to his dad to drive a pleasant evening into the crapper. As Miles rounded the car to walk Sydney up to her front door, he realized he was grinding his teeth. With that, he resolved he wasn’t going to keep venturing into the lion’s den. More immediate, he wasn’t going to let the guy ruin the rest of his night.
He put his hand on the small of Sydney’s back as they walked up the brick path to her door.
He was about to lean in and kiss her when she asked, “So who’s Julie?”
He shrugged to hide his confusion. “Julie who?”
“I don’t know,” she said. “That’s why I’m asking. Your mom said I was the first girl you’d brought home since Julie. I was just curious to know who she is.”
Ah, Julie. That Julie. Sydney didn’t sound jealous. In fact, she was smiling and there was a light tone to her voice.
“She was my high school girlfriend. I haven’t thought about her in ages.”
“I figured as much,” Sydney said. “I mean that she was an old girlfriend. But high school? Really? You haven’t brought anyone home since?”
“You saw my family,” he said. “They can be a little over the top. They’re certainly not for the faint of heart.”
She smiled. “I’ve never really experienced that kind of togetherness. But they’re wonderful, Miles. You’re lucky to have them. Even your dad. Speaking of, what are you going to do about that situation?”
“I have no idea. Except that right now, I know I don’t want him to ruin the rest of our night.”
He leaned in and kissed her soft and slow, tracing the lush fullness of her bottom lip with his tongue. When she slipped her hands around his neck, his body reacted to the taste and feel of her.
As he pulled her in closer, he felt her stiffen and pull back slightly.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I am. It’s been a wonderful day, but it’s getting late.”
He brushed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
“Why don’t we have a glass of wine and tell me what other secrets my mother spilled tonight?”
“Well, if they’re secrets, I can’t tell you,” she said. “I would ask you to come in, but tomorrow I have to finish contacting the brides who are finalists on the show and confirm the time we can meet them on Monday. So I’d better call it a night.”
“What do you mean you’re working tomorrow?”
“Someone has to get everything lined up so that everything goes smoothly on Monday.”
He leaned in and rested his forehead on hers.
“You’re smart, beautiful and dedicated, too,” he said.
“Yeah, well, tell Lenny to give me a raise for all this dedication.” This time, she brushed his lips with a kiss.
Again, his body responded to the sheer proximity of her and it took every ounce of strength he had to keep from picking her up and carrying her to her bed and showing her just how well she did it for him. “Ooh, I could make some very off-color comments about who is giving who a raise right about now,” he said.
She laughed and then was suddenly sober.
“You realize if we ever do…” Her voice trailed off for a moment. “It would only be a fling because I may be moving to St. Michel, and even if I don’t you’re eventually going back to L.A. So, maybe it’s best if we don’t start something we can’t finish?”
“I think it’s too late for that. I think we’ve passed that point where we could’ve walked away a long time ago.”
Miles kissed her so thoroughly that it made her toes curl in her sandals. It took everything Sydney had not to invite him inside.
Instead, she said good-night and went inside alone.
If she’d invited him in, she knew where things would end up. If they ended up there, she’d be a goner. If it was possible to be farther gone than she already was.
Tonight, he wasn’t her boss or the hotshot Hollywood director. He’d been real. Beloved son, ideal uncle…the understudy for the role of perfect father…he fit the role perfectly. Sydney could recognize that from a mile away.
He was meant to be a father—and he wanted kids someday. There was not a chance in hell that she would ever have children.
She sighed at the realization of just how deep the layers were that made their situation so impossible, set her handbag on the living room chair and turned on the lamp. The air conditioner clicked on and the cool air blew down on her making her feel cold…and very alone in this empty hou
se.
If imagined ghosts had haunted her last night, tonight a very real demon had lodged itself in her heart, making it ache for the impossibility of the situation.
What in the world was she going to do? This was a slippery slope she was standing on. If she were wise, she would take a big step back and put some much-needed distance between them. But common sense and her heart were at war with one another.
She stepped out of the air draft, hugging herself to ward off the chill that had settled in her bones despite the summer humidity that had wrapped around them like a blanket as they said good-night on the porch.
She’d just stepped into the kitchen to brew herself a cup of herbal tea when she noticed the blinking light on the answering machine.
She pressed the button and walked over to the sink to fill the kettle.
“Hello, I am calling for Madam Sydney James.” She turned off the tap at the sound of the accented voice. “Madam James, I am very pleased to inform you that you are one of two candidates we have selected for the next round of interviews for the St. Michel press secretary position. We will be conducting final interviews here in St. Michel during the time of the Royal Anniversary festival. You will participate in a working interview helping to promote the anniversary festival so that we might see how you conduct yourself on the job. We will be in touch shortly with specific details. In the meantime, please be prepared to arrive in St. Michel in about three weeks.”
If she’d asked the heavens to give her a sign about whether or not to get involved with Miles, this was about as clear as an engraved missive providing her with detailed directions for the distance she so desperately needed to keep herself from falling for him any more than she already had.
Chapter Nine
Sydney decided the best approach was to be direct. As soon as she got to work the next morning, she texted A.J., Caroline and Pepper and asked if they could have a quick meeting before they started the day’s taping.
Actually, her text was more of the “Coffee in my office?” variety because if she’d said “Quick meeting in my office?” they would’ve started asking questions. She didn’t want to discuss this through text messages. Really, she didn’t want to do this at all, face-to-face was the lesser of the evils.
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