by Lexi Ryan
Reese recognized the first “Oh!” as the squeak of the dressing room attendant, and the sigh of “Oh, Reese,” as Masey’s voice, but she didn’t look at either of them. Instead, she walked directly to the three mirrors ahead of her and looked at herself.
The dress itself was beautiful, a deep apple-red satin that floated down her body and touched the floor. But what took her breath away was the way she looked in it. The cowl neck drooped to show off her delicate collarbone. She ran her fingertips over the skin there, realizing for the first time how sexy that spot on her body was. The satin draped over her until it reached her hips, where the material seemed to be cut to match the lines of her body until it flared at the bottom. She ran her hands over her hips and her heart beat a little faster. Her hips were her most abhorred body part, and this dress showcased them like her greatest asset, accentuated the curve from her waist to hip, the full rounding of her rear. She turned slightly in the mirror to survey the back of the dress, which was cut all the way down to the base of her spine.
Ben would love this. Even now, she could imagine his eyes running over her, his fingers skipping along her spine as they traced the way to the small of her back.
“Sexy,” Masey said.
Reese turned to the dressing room attendant, a short woman with a blond bob. “It is beautiful. I just don’t know where I’d wear it.” Even as the words left her mouth, she knew. She needed an outfit for the masquerade ball, and this dress was just the thing.
“Well, if I looked like that in that dress,” the attendant said, “I have a feeling I’d wear it around the house, to the movies, even grocery shopping.”
Reese searched for the price tag under her arm. Her jaw dropped at the numbers. Even with her new salary— “I can’t swing that. I’m so sorry.”
The woman’s grin widened. “It’s last season’s style, so it’s on clearance.”
How much could she afford to blow on a dress she may only wear once?
“Seventy percent off,” the attendant said.
Reese grinned. “Sold!” In the mirror, she caught sight of Masey’s tenuous smile. “You okay, Mase?”
“I’m happy for you. You deserve a good relationship.”
Reese turned to the attendant. “I’ll be up front to pay for this in a few.”
Getting the point, the woman nodded and left them alone.
“I don’t think I’d call it a relationship. Not yet at least,” Reese said softly. “I don’t know what it is.”
“You think you’re just, what? Fuck buddies?”
The term made Reese wince. Because it was accurate or because that was what she was afraid of? “I think I need to be careful,” she finally said.
Masey stepped forward and smoothed invisible wrinkles from the sides of Reese’s dress. “Careful about what?”
“I don’t want to hurt him.” That was it. The fact she’d been avoiding. She wanted Ben, had never stopped wanting him, but what he didn’t know about her mistakes would kill him. Not that she could explain that to Masey. She hadn’t told anyone about that night with Mark.
“If you don’t want to hurt him, you need to be honest with him.”
Reese studied herself in the mirror, half in love with the dress. “I’ll tell him the phone sex wasn’t a step, but I really don’t think he’s going to care.”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.”
Reese turned to see Masey frowning.
“You need to tell him you had sex with Mark.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
When Reese climbed into Ben’s truck on Thursday night, his eyes immediately dropped to her denim-clad legs.
“Jeans?” He said it like it was a dirty word.
She clicked her seatbelt into place before looking at him. The heat in his eyes made her want to climb across the seat and straddle him, so it was probably better that she was restrained. “We’re going to your parents’ house. If I wore a skirt, you wouldn’t behave.”
He ran his eyes over her again, muttered, “I don’t want to behave.”
She reached over to put her hand on his thigh. “Then have me over tonight.”
He grinned. “Been thinking about it?”
God, had she. “Maybe.”
He put the truck into gear. “Keep thinking, and by tomorrow night…”
The only thing that kept her from whimpering and begging him to reconsider was her pride, and she wasn’t sure how long that would hold up.
When Ben merged into traffic, Reese pulled her hand away, but he grabbed it and laced his fingers through hers. They rode like that, in silence, the hunger, lust, and tension crackling between them. And there was something else too, something that had nothing to do with sex, something comforting and right about the feel of his warm hand against hers.
By the time he parked the truck in his parents’ paved driveway, she was wishing she had worn the skirt. She would have had him pull over at a rest area, would have crawled into his lap, skirt bunched around her hips, slid her hand between their bodies and stroked him until he surrendered and slid into her.
But she didn’t have a skirt on, and whatever game Ben was playing seemed to require he torture her at all costs. As it was, she was nearly panting with arousal from what her mind had conjured.
He faced forward until he’d turned off the ignition and unbuckled. Only then did he turn to her.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” she asked.
“I assume you’re not talking about Ma’s lasagna?” He was grinning, but his eyes held something much more intense—much hotter—than a smile.
“Let me come over tonight,” she said.
He leaned to her and in the next moment his mouth was on hers, his hands in her hair as his tongue parted her lips.
She opened under him, kissed him, tasted him, clung to his shirt and needed him. His hand found her breast, and she moaned against his mouth, pulled herself closer. When he latched onto her neck, it was all she could do not to crawl into his lap. She wanted him. Wanted this. Now.
His hand was between her legs, resting against the denim. “Are you wearing panties?” his voice like gravel against her ear.
“No.”
He groaned, pressed harder, and the seam of her jeans rubbed her swollen clit.
“Not here, Ben.” Even as she said it, she rocked her hips, wanting this, wanting more. He sucked at her lips, assaulted her mouth with his teeth, soothed with his tongue.
At some point, he’d gotten a hand up her shirt. His fingers were teasing her nipple when someone pounded on the window.
Reese jumped back in her seat. Mark stood outside the window, a crooked smile on his face.
Ben took his time pulling away. Slowly, he hit the button to lower the window.
Reese did her best to straighten her clothes and smooth her hair, but there was no helping the flush on her cheeks.
“Enjoy the show?” Ben called when the window was half down.
Mark smirked. “Thought you’d like to know Ma was looking out from the kitchen, checking on you.” With that, he stepped away from the car, waiting several yards away and toying with his phone.
“Shit.”
The window hummed as Ben returned it to its closed position.
Reese studied him, the horror coloring his features. “You didn’t want her to know about us,” she said softly. She wasn’t sure why it hurt so much. It wasn’t like they were an item. They were just exploring. That wasn’t something you told your mother.
He dragged a hand through his hair, blew out a slow breath. “I don’t care if my mom knows, but I didn’t want to hear a lecture on how she didn’t raise her son to disrespect women.”
“You were disrespecting me?” Heck, she needed a little more disrespect in her life.
“I’m pretty sure my truck isn’t on my mom’s list of approved locations to show a woman, er, respect.”
Reese bit her lip. “I see.”
“Let me go in first, okay? This is a lectur
e I’d prefer to get in private.” He reached for the door.
“Could you—” She swallowed. “Could you somehow indicate that I’m not normally like this?”
He raised a brow. “You want me to lie to my mother?”
She smacked him in the chest. His warm, solid chest. She really needed to get him naked. ASAP. “It’s not my fault you’re making me crazy by making me wait.”
“You’re right.” He opened the door. “I’ll explain that it’s my fault. I won’t have sex with you, and as a result you can’t keep your hands off me.”
“Ben!” she screeched.
But he winked at her and swung his door shut. “Got it.”
She watched him go, feeling irritated and amused and embarrassed and still oh-my-God turned on.
Mark opened her door. “I guess this means our date’s off,” he said, tucking his hands into his pockets and looking sheepish.
“What?” Then she remembered. Saturday. Dinner, movie, Mark, step six. “Oh, crap on a cracker.”
“I didn’t really believe him when he said he wasn’t interested in more with you. Wishful thinking I guess.”
Her heart sunk a little. “Ben said that? When?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. Dad’s retirement party? He insisted you were just friends, and I thought maybe it was time to make my move.”
Mr. Hawk’s retirement party had been before her makeover. Of course. She shouldn’t be surprised, should she? She knew things had changed since then, and she’d known he hadn’t wanted her before.
Then why did it hurt so damn much?
She grabbed her purse and climbed out of the truck. They ambled toward the house, trying to give Ben time.
“I figured,” Mark said, “if you agreed to go out with me, Ben would either realize what an idiot he was being, or I’d get a real chance. Frankly, I was hoping for the second.”
She worried her lip between her teeth. “Any chance you’d still be willing to go on that date?”
He stopped. “What?”
“I was hoping our date could still happen. If you don’t mind.”
His dark eyes narrowed in on her. “What are you playing at, Reese?”
She cringed. “It’s kind of one of my steps.”
He raised a brow. “Going out with me is one of your steps?”
“Going out with a man I’d never marry is one of my steps.”
He winced.
“I’m sorry, Mark, but—” She was a world class bitch. She blew out a breath. “You’re a really good guy, you know I think so. But the way I feel about you…it’s never been like that.”
He nodded, tucked his head. “Yeah, I guess I knew that already.” He studied her for a moment. “But my brother, he wouldn’t qualify for this date you need to go on?”
From the Hawks’ front walk, she looked into the house and spotted Ben. He smiled and waved her in. “I don’t know,” she said, something tugging in her chest.
“I’ll do it,” Mark said with a resigned sigh, “but only because I’m a fucking saint.”
She grinned. “You are. Thank you.”
He looked thoughtful for a minute, then added, “But you need to tell Ben. The man deserves fair warning before my good looks and charm bringing you to your senses.”
She huffed. “I’m having enough trouble getting him naked. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll leave out the pillow talk about my fake date with his brother.”
Mark made a face. “Okay, two things. First, I’d like to be spared any future details about your sex life with Ben.”
“What sex life? He’s torturing me. What is this ‘delayed gratification’ crap?”
Mark held up a hand, looking pained. “Second,” he said firmly, “our date isn’t the only thing you need to be honest with him about.”
Reese sighed. “Yeah, and I guess I should get to that conversation soon since you can’t seem to keep our secret to yourself.”
His eyes widened, then he squeezed them shut. “Masey?”
“Yeah, Masey. Anyone else you told that I should know about?”
He shook his head. “No. I was feeling love sick and she listened.”
She crossed her arms. “What does you feeling lovesick have to do with this?” He just looked at her, and it hit her all at once. Lovesick. “You really liked me?”
He rocked back on his heels, set his jaw. “Not like I tried to hide it, Reese.” He shook his head. “I might have a reputation as a chauvinist who’s just after a piece of ass, but I’ve been sick of that game for a long time. I’ve wanted you for a long time, and I wouldn’t have asked you out if I wasn’t interested.”
He stared at her and something clawed at her chest. She mocked the intelligence of women who failed to take Mark Hawk seriously, who failed to see there was more to him than his radio personality, and yet she herself was guilty. She hadn’t believed she was worth wanting, so she hadn’t seen that Mark wanted her.
Then he added, softly, “I wouldn’t have slept with you that night if I hadn’t hoped for more. Reese, you’re the most amazing woman I know. You’re sweet and caring and gorgeous and—”
“Mark.” She had to make him stop. Each word was damning, making her feel worse, making her face her own mistakes. But what could she say? That she’d thought too little of him to believe she’d meant more than any other woman willing to go home with him that night? That she thought too little of him to believe a date would ever lead anywhere. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head. “Nah, it’s not like I didn’t know you wanted Ben. It’s just—” He let out a long breath. “Halie McCormack came to me when you started her program.”
Reese stepped back. “She did?”
“She asked me to go out with you, to pursue you.” He laughed but it was a dark sound without humor. “It was kind of like asking an addict to take another hit. Something I already wanted but had denied myself since the morning you woke up panicked in my bed.”
“Oh, Mark, I swear I had no idea.”
“Yeah, I know. I just hoped she knew something I didn’t. I thought maybe you were coming around. I thought maybe I had a chance.”
How was this even happening? How had she been so stupid? So blind? And it hurt to admit but she’d been shallow. She’d been so busy thinking of Mark as the hot stud, she hadn’t bothered to consider his feelings.
Mark kicked a loose piece of mulch back into the flowerbed. “Just promise me I get the honor of kicking his ass if he hurts you.”
The front door opened, and they both jerked their attention to the sound.
Ben peeked out. “You two coming in?”
“I’m sorry,” she said, looking at Mark, the restrained emotions pulling at his features. “I didn’t know.”
The screen bounced shut behind Ben as he stepped onto the porch. He narrowed his eyes at his brother. “Everything okay out here?”
“Yeah,” Mark said, giving her a curt nod before heading toward the door. “Reese was just filling me in on the details of that bachelor auction she asked me to be in.”
Ben’s expression relaxed. “Oh, do you still need me to do that?”
She swallowed. “If you can, that would be a big help. Halie’s having SG 101 graduates be the bachelorettes, but finding guys hasn’t been nearly as simple.”
“Whatever you need,” Ben said softly as she climbed on the porch. He tucked her hair behind her ears and pressed a kiss to her lips. “I mean it.”
“Thank you,” she said, but guilt and doubt knotted together in her stomach as she followed him inside.
Even after Lance had left and she’d told herself she wanted Mark, her heart had belonged to Ben. Mark had been her security blanket, her lie, her excuse as she told herself she could be friends with Ben without going back to her puppy dog days of waiting for Ben to notice her.
Mark was the distraction, the one she never had to worry would hurt her, yet she’d hurt him. And Ben? Ben hadn’t wanted her until she’d been fantasticall
y made over. She couldn’t blame him for that. She understood it, intellectually at least.
But if she let herself think about it too much, she’d have to acknowledge the scar that was there, a thick, knotty painful rift right in the foundation of any romantic relationship they’d ever have.
***
Ben hadn’t had sex in over six months. He hadn’t been interested since Reese had shown up at the PitStop, asked for three shots of tequila, and announced that Lance had left her. He planned to end that streak tonight. He planned to be with Reese tonight.
Ben snuck a glance at his watch as Halie toured his latest remodel. He’d been on his way out the door when she’d shown up asking to take a look.
He’d wanted to tell her no. He’d wanted to push her into her car so he could go home and seduce the hell out of his best friend. Since the future of Hawk Construction depended on her business, he’d resisted that temptation. Barely.
“I looked at your quote,” Halie said, running her finger along the new granite countertops.
“And—?”
“And I called some references. Everyone seems to love Hawk Construction.”
Ben did his best to keep his body language neutral and not pant like a hopeful puppy. “I’m glad to hear it.”
“Of course, the company has never taken on a job like mine.”
He tensed. Hell, this wasn’t news to him. He knew the hardest part would be breaking in to the high-end market. No one wanted to be the first, no one wanted to be the guinea pig. “Since I’ve taken over the company from my father, I’ve been working on shifting the focus to larger projects. We’re in transition, it’s true.”
“How do you think Reese is handling my program?”
Ben rubbed his neck—this woman could give a guy whiplash with the way she changed subjects. “She’s doing great.”
“What do you think of her makeover?”
The hair stood up on his arms. Something told him to back away from the conversation. “She looks amazing.”
“It’s more than just how she looks. It’s about how she feels.” She shook her head. “She’s a tougher case than I anticipated.”
