“I screwed up, Ace.”
“What do you mean?”
“With Noah… When he was busted, I told him the sting was for Tara. He knows she told me about the assault.”
“Why the hell did you say something to him?”
“I never dreamed he’d make bail, and it was all I had to get back at him.” My brother’s voice lowers. “You didn’t see her, Adrian. She was beaten to a pulp.
“All I’ve wanted since is to see him dead, so the words came out before I had time to think of the consequences.”
“Does she know?”
“No, she’s suffering enough with the memories. I can’t have her doubting her safety, too.”
“You fucked up.”
“I know. I feel like shit over it. I keep failing her, man.”
“You need to tell her, so she can look out for herself, too.”
Victoria
“Take a seat, Ms. Hart,” Sergeant Bishop says. He’s leaning back in his chair, staring me down. I’ve learned this is the worst way to find him. I much prefer when he’s distracted by his morning paper. “Explain.”
“Explain what?”
His finger goes up, and he points it straight at me.
“I’m not taking any bullshit from you today. You tell me the truth about the Cassano family, and you tell me right now.”
“It appears the FBI knew a lot more than we did about Noah Sanders.”
His hand flies down and smacks a stack of papers on his desk, causing me to flinch. “I didn’t ask you about Noah Sanders! Now goddammit, tell me about the Cassano brothers!”
Shit, someone has tipped him off. My planned award-winning performance is not going to fly with him. It’s time to come clean.
“OK, OK, I knew about the FBI working with them.”
He smirks, and it’s not the “I find you amusing like your old man” kind. No, it’s the “I finally have you right where I want you” smirk.
“And how is it that you know this information? Because I’m dying to hear if your story matches the one I’ve heard.”
Blowing out a taxing breath, I hang my head.
“I’m in a relationship with Adrian Cassano, sir.”
“You know, I really thought you would come in here and lie to my face.”
“That was the plan, but what’s the point? You already knew the truth. I only wish I knew how, and I have my suspicions.”
“We both know the FBI has something on the Cassano family, or they never would’ve been working together. The question I need an answer to is what?
“You have one chance, Hart, to tell what that is, or you can set your badge and weapon down on this desk and walk out of here for good.”
“Sarge—”
“No, Victoria. Your second chance has been long used up. Tell me why you’ve been protecting Adrian Cassano or take a walk.”
Without taking my eyes off of his, I stand. He follows my movement as I approach his desk and turn in the most sacred possessions to my career.
Bishop hangs his head and shakes it.
“Your father has to be turning over in his grave at this moment.”
“Fuck. You. My father would be proud of me. He saw in the Cassano brothers what I see every day. You aren’t even half as honorable as those men or my father.”
I leave his office and approach my desk. The tears are building up, and I sense my coworkers’ eyes on me.
“Tell me, Tucker, was it worth every minute to see me packing up my shit?” I say to him.
“What?”
“You heard me,” I repeat as I gather my belongings. “If you’re a real man, you’ll admit you’re the one who told.”
Tucker stands up from his desk. I glance to Reggie, who’s been waiting to see what happened in my meeting with Bishop.
“Alright, fine. I told. You want to fraternize with the bad guys, so be it, but I’m not keeping your secrets.”
Reggie shoves his chair away from his desk and charges toward Tucker. “I trusted you, man!” With one sucker punch, Reggie lays him out cold. His chair slides across the floor, louder than Reggie’s did, as his arm catches on it.
“I told you never to trust him, Reg, but you wouldn’t listen to me. Thanks. You’ve cost me my career.”
Reggie looks at me with remorse.
“I told you not to fall in love with him, Victoria. That’s what cost you your career.”
“You fucking hypocrite.” I shake my head with disbelief and storm out of the office. Now what the hell do I do?
Once I’m on the bus, I decide to break the news to Adrian.
Me: I lost my job, and I need some time alone. Please respect that.
Adrian: I’m sorry… Please don’t take too long. You know I’ll go out of my mind.
He’s going to have to get over it. I know I said we were in this together, but I need time to grieve. I feel like a part of me died today, and that can’t be fixed in an hour or with a kiss.
Chapter Seventeen
Zev
Aggie and Tara are fixing dinner, so I’m watching the evening news with Ma. Actually, I’m the only one watching it. We’ve been here four days, and she hasn’t awakened for the last two.
Her respirations are decreasing, and the Hospice nurse, who’s left for her dinner break, said Ma could pass at any time.
Shutting off the television, I lay my head on the bed next to her arm. I imagine her running her hand through my hair like she would when she would tuck me into bed at night.
I remember loving those moments. Mom would tuck us in when she was having good “mental health” days, and since those were few and far between, they were extra special.
A heavy weight is returning to my chest. I’m losing her when I feel like I was just getting her back. On top of that, I need to tell Tara what I said to Noah, but I can’t find the words.
Security has been out front for a few days, but Tara believes we’re being overly paranoid. She doesn’t know that revenge has her name all over it.
Having barely any sleep for days, I close my eyes to try and banish the anxiety plaguing me.
***
“Zev, wake up,” Tara says in my ear. I feel her hand on my back, so I lift my head. Ma looks different. My head whips toward Tara, and she and Aggie are standing next to me crying.
“Zev, she’s gone,” Aggie says with her weeping voice. “Mom’s gone.”
Tara’s gaze looks like one of pity and apprehension. Grabbing my mother’s hand, I feel that it’s cooler. I squeeze it and bury my face against it. I thought I had prepared myself for this, but the pain is unbearable.
What I hadn’t made peace with was my regret. I ignored her for so many years. Tears come, and it pisses me off. Tara rubs my back, and that angers me even more.
I’m on my feet and dashing from the room. I grab my keys off a table in the living room and flee the house. I’m in the rental car and peeling out in seconds.
I don’t know where I will go, but I can’t let Tara know this part of me. Since we arrived here, self-loathing has been feeding on my hope and self-worth, depleting me of all the good Tara instilled. How can she love me when I don’t love myself?
Tara
“Adrian, I don’t know what to do. Zev’s still not home,” I say into the phone. It’s one in the morning, and he hasn’t returned since he stormed from the house.
“Did he tell you what he said to Noah at the bust?”
“No, what was it?”
“Shit, he was supposed to discuss it with you. He’s been beating himself up over it for days. Basically, he told Noah the sting was to get back at him for what he did to you.”
I throw a hand over my mouth.
“Why would he do that?”
“He didn’t think, Tara. The rage had been eating him up. He lashed out at Noah without considering the consequences. I’m sure he’ll be home soon, but if he’s not back by morning, call me.”
“OK. Thanks, Adrian.”
“Wait … l
isten, Zev’s notorious for self-destructing and numbing himself when things get tough. He’s fearing what you will do once you know, and I’m sure he’s hurt over Mom’s death. Now that he’s with you, he probably doesn’t know what to do with those emotions.”
“I get it, Adrian, but we’re supposed to be a team.”
Hanging up with him, I bite my lip and stare at Aggie. We’re on our third cup of coffee, and although I’ve done little the last several days, I’m exhausted.
“So, I hear you’re moving to Vegas soon.”
“Yep. As soon as we get the house emptied and listed to sell.” Her face droops, but it’s only momentarily before a smile resurfaces. It reminds me of how strong and brave the Cassano family is, minus Zev’s childish behavior this evening.
“I’m looking forward to spending quality time with my brothers and making new memories with them. You know, Zev is only worried his emotions are going to disappoint you.
“He’s not fearful of getting close to you because he thinks you’ll be like Denise. He’s afraid he’ll end up like her and let you down.”
“I wish he could see in himself what I see.”
“In time I believe he will. Please, don’t give up on him.”
“I don’t think I could find the will to do that even if I wanted to. I love him.”
The creak of the front door has Aggie and me on our feet. Zev steps in and takes a glimpse at each of us.
“Thank God,” Aggie says. “Be good to her, Xavier. I’ll leave you two alone.” She exits the room, and Zev doesn’t look at me. His keys drop onto the table by the door, and he stands there. I’m furious as I go to him.
“Look at me, you coward.” Zev’s eyes immediately flit to mine, and he’s stunned by my words. “Your mother died today, so I get why you’re angry, but how dare you leave me here alone to deal with it.”
“Tara, I’m sorry.”
“Adrian told me about what you said to Noah, and I’m not pissed about it.”
“You seem pretty angry to me.”
“I’m angry because you left me here to deal with serious shit like a funeral home, a body and a grieving sister. Also, because you didn’t tell me about Noah, not because of what you said to him.”
“I know I should’ve told you, but I didn’t know how.”
“Zev, we’re a couple now. You can’t retreat or storm off when things get rough. That’s when we need to stick together the most.”
“But why aren’t you pissed over what I said to Noah?”
“It was a critical mistake, but we all make them. You should’ve told me, so we could work through it together.”
Grabbing hold of me, Zev brings me to his chest.
“I’m sorry. It was wrong for me to leave. I didn’t want you to see my weaknesses. I keep letting you down, and because I don’t know how to be in a relationship, I’m certain I’ll fuck it up again.”
“I’m on your side, Zev.” I cup his cheek. “I already love you and your flaws, and I think what disappointed me the most tonight is I thought I already proved that.”
His forehead wrinkles as my last words sink in.
“Jesus, you have, and I’m sorry.”
“I just need you to need me, remember?”
“I do need you. More than you realize, and I’ll do everything in my power to keep you safe from Noah Sanders.”
Adrian
“Do you have the key?” I ask Reggie. We’re walking up to Victoria’s old apartment as he holds it up for me to see.
“I hope she doesn’t have the chain latched.” Sticking the key in the lock, Reggie turns it slowly. It pops open, and we step inside.
He turns on the light to the living room and calls for her. I’m about to go look for her when she stumbles around the corner in pajama pants and a tank top.
“Adrian, Reggie. What are you two doing here?”
“What do you think, Victoria? For several days you’ve barely spoken to me. I’ve been worried sick,” I say angrily.
“I told you I needed to be alone,” she says, holding up a finger. She stumbles and almost falls over her coffee table.
“Have you been drinking?” I ask.
“I was, but I drank so much I became sleepy.”
“Shit, Victoria. This is exactly why you don’t need to be alone.”
“I see you have your accom … your accomplice. At least he gets to keep his job.” Victoria stumbles again as she holds her finger out at Reggie.
“OK, time to go home.”
“This is my home.” She scrunches her nose, and I really want to whip her ass at the moment.
“It’s not anymore. We’re remedying that first thing tomorrow.”
“You can’t tell me what to do.”
“I don’t think you’re in any shape to dispute that.” I swoop her up, and her arms instinctually wrap around my neck. “That’s my girl. I’m taking you to our home.”
I carry her to the car and get her buckled in. Once I’m at the driver’s side, I look to Reggie.
“Thanks for helping me out.”
“I did this for her, not for you.”
“I’ll help her find a job, Reggie. Hell, she doesn’t even have to work if she doesn’t want to. I have more than enough money.”
“You’ve never gotten her, Adrian. She craves the action from her job. She needs that adrenaline rush and excitement.”
“I get her more than you think.”
“Yeah, and controlling her in the bedroom isn’t going to be enough for her. She’s not cut out to be a housewife, either.”
“I’ve got it from here, so shut the fuck up.”
“Fuck, I don’t know why we’re friends sometimes.”
“You’re indebted to me, remember?” I say with a smirk. He simply flips me off and starts toward his car, but before he gets there, he turns to me.
“Hey, Adrian, I’m sorry about your mom.”
“Thanks, man.” I step inside my vehicle and start it up.
“Ace,” Victoria says with a giggle. Her fingers rake through my hair, and it feels nice.
“What, Juice Box?”
“Can we have babies? I want a lot of babies.”
“Let’s see if you’re still saying that once you’re sober. Reggie claims otherwise.”
“Reggie doesn’t know shit.” She’s scowling now and pointing toward his car that’s pulling away.
I sigh. “Yeah, I wish that was true, but something tells me he’s right.”
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, baby. Why don’t you take a nap?”
Victoria
The sun is blinding me once I open my eyes, so I roll the opposite way in the bed and spoon with Adrian to block the strong rays casting from the window.
Adrian. How did I get here?
I roll back over and stare above me. The memories of last night begin to fit together like a puzzle, and I vaguely recall Adrian putting me into his car.
My phone buzzes, so I swipe it and head toward the bathroom. While I’m peeing, I read a text from Sadie.
Sadie: How’s Adrian?
Me: Sleeping. Why?
Sadie: I was only curious. Simon’s taking it pretty hard.
Me: What hard?
Sadie: Oh, my god, how do you not know? Denise died.
Me: Holy shit. Long story, and I better go.
Hurrying back to the bedroom, I kneel on Adrian’s side of the bed and stroke his hair.
“Sweetie, I’m sorry.” Tears prick at my eyes as he opens his. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here for you.”
He cups my cheek. “I know, and I’m sorry about your career.”
“It’s not important.”
“That’s a lie.”
“Then let me lie today.”
“OK.”
***
“What time do we land?” I ask.
“Another hour.”
“I feel like I should be doing something.”
“We’re on a plane. What in th
e world could you do?”
“I don’t know, but I’m anxious.”
Adrian puts away his laptop he’s been working on.
“Let’s talk about the elephant following us around.”
“No,” I say before I look out the window. He clutches my hand and holds it to his mouth. His lips press to it faintly.
“I know you’re going to miss your job. It’s OK to tell me so.”
“I don’t want you to feel bad about it.”
“Too late. What’s driving me crazy is you not wanting to discuss it.”
I turn back to face him. “OK, I thought I would take some time off. I have plenty of money saved to pay my bills. I had planned to use it for a car, which I don’t need now.
“Also, I don’t have to pay for the apartment. You made sure of that, so yeah, I think I’m due for an extended vacation.”
“What then?”
“I don’t know. Let’s cross that bridge later.”
Adrian sighs. “OK. Vacation it is.”
“Oh, there’s something I haven’t told you. Reggie’s flying in tomorrow for the funeral. I know things have been tense between you two since we got together, but he’s your friend, and you need a guy to talk to right now. Your brothers are going to be in the same shape as you are in.”
“I don’t need him there.”
“Reg was never a threat to our relationship, Adrian, so you two need to be close like you were before we got together.”
He stares at a strand of my hair before he tucks it behind my ear. “I guess it’s time we bury the hatchet.”
“Good. I think the fact he wants to be there shows he’s ready, too.”
Chapter Eighteen
Adrian
“… Denise showed in her final days that her mental illness had not conquered her. She was the mother and friend we all remembered from our youth, and she will be missed dearly.”
Finishing my mother’s eulogy, the minister takes over, asking us all to bow our heads in prayer. My mother will be cremated, so once the service ends, my family and closest friends travel back to my childhood home for a dinner.
Conviction (The Cassano Series Book 4) Page 11
