by Lucy Gage
“Not when she's repeatedly insulted me without cause.”
“She's jealous of you. I told you that.”
“Oh, I know. And you say it's because I'm prettier than her but I think it's because she wants what I have.”
“Well she can't have it. She can't have me. She lost her chance a long time ago.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Positive. It's you I want.” He kissed her to illustrate that he was hers. “Let me take you home and show you,” he whispered in her ear. She nodded and they joined hands, leaving the party and the horrible Rachel behind.
That night, Rob held her in the dark, caressed her skin and kissed her hair. “I wish you could come back to LA with me. I feel like we didn't get enough time together and I want to be with you longer. Do you think Marcus would let you take a couple of days so you can go to my agency party? It's nothing too exciting, but it could be fun and we'd get at least a couple of extra nights...”
“I can ask. The worst he'll do is say no, right?” She felt Rob smile against her hair. “I don't want to leave you, either. I missed you so much when I was home. Skype sex wasn't the same as the real thing.”
Rob laughed. “No. Not even close. Better than phone sex, I guess, because at least I got to see you naked. If I hadn't needed to be in L.A., I'd have just flown out there to be with you.”
“Probably better you didn't.”
“Why is that? You didn't want me there?”
“No, I'd have loved you to be there, but it was awkward enough at the apartment when Josh thought that Liam was you.”
“You saw him?”
Emily murmured confirmation.
“And he thought Liam was me?”
“He honestly has no clue who you are, Rob. To him, Liam was a guy with brown hair that was helping me pack and Josh assumed he was my boyfriend.”
“The fact that Liam is almost 6 inches shorter than me didn't clue him in?”
“Nope. He's never seen you in person, so he had no idea that you're about the same height as him.”
“Oh? He's tall? So you like tall men?”
“Apparently. I haven't had a ton of boyfriends, but I guess a lot of them have been tall. I didn't really choose Josh, though. That was my mother's doing.”
“How is that?”
“He helped my dad move furniture into my apartment and my mother targeted him to be my new boyfriend. Despite the fact that I expressed no interest.”
“Then how did you start dating him?”
“He visited the same friend as the day he helped with my move and he asked me out. I said yes because I felt bad that he moved my furniture and it went from there.”
“And you dated him for five years? You lived with him? Your family thought you'd marry him? But there was no passionate spark between you?”
“Not on my end, no. Why do you think I was so thrown by what's between us? That had never happened to me before.”
“Not for me, either. Instantaneous. It was literally instantaneous for me.”
“Well, not so much for me. At least not until I actually bothered to look at you. Then it was instantaneous. Even after years together, I never felt that much for Josh. If he'd seen us together...yeah, it wouldn't have been pretty. He might have gotten territorial. He looked ready to get that way with Liam. As it was, he told me to dump you more than once. I think he made Liam uneasy. Which is all kinds of ironic, given that he's usually very mild mannered. Despite his size, he rarely makes anyone uncomfortable.”
“His size? Why, is he bigger than me?”
“He's huge – 6'3" and weighs 245 lbs. Imagine what you'd look like with a broader chest and thirty extra pounds of muscle. He's not a body builder, either. He's just naturally big and very fit. A lot like Rick, actually.”
“Huh. I'm surprised you're not attracted to Rick then.”
“I just told you I wasn't attracted to Josh! Not before we started sleeping together. He has nice eyes, but he's not my type. You're what I like: athletic and sexy. And Josh is a nice-looking guy, but he's not beautiful like you are.”
He pulled her on top of him. “I'm beautiful, huh?”
“You know I think that. You'd be just another pretty face if you weren't so kind and generous and caring. But you're all those things and more. And you take me places I've never been before.”
“Like Sonoma?”
“Like multiple orgasms, silk ties, and Skype sex.”
“Ah. I see. Well, let's store up in case Marcus says no when you call him tomorrow. Which do you want? The multiple orgasms, the silk tie, the Skype sex?”
“Who needs Skype sex when you've got the real thing? But I'll say yes to the other two...”
“Oh really?”
“At the same time...”
He rolled her underneath him. “Let me get the tie, then...” Em whimpered.
She'd hate leaving him even more the next time.
Malibu, California, four weeks after New Year's...
Emily had been thrilled when Marcus agreed to let her return to L.A. His only concession was that he wanted her to cover a Fluxus happening at UC Berkeley before she went to Rob's agency party. It turned out that the party location was not far from the campus. The timing worked out well and Rob was enthusiastic about going with her. Despite the efforts to make the gala and opening Fluxus oriented – meaning slightly unusual – many of the patrons and attendees were not inclined to be happy with anything too out there, so it was pared down. Rob really wanted to see what a true Fluxus happening would be like.
Their arrival at LAX was as crazy as the first time, but she was prepared and thus, less terrified. Brian met them at the airport, since Rick had gone back to Minnesota. He had been glad for the change, because it meant that Liam could travel with them and things would be simpler. Otherwise, he'd have had to travel back to L.A. with Rob and then get on a flight to Minneapolis straight away.
They got back to Malibu a day early, so Emily called Jenna and asked her to come for dinner that night so they could finally meet. Liam had seemed down after Reggie said she moved to New York, but when Em mentioned that Jenna would be at the house that night, his mood brightened considerably. It made Em wonder whether he liked being single or couldn't choose which girl he wanted.
When Jenna arrived, it wasn't any clearer. Emily recalled how happy Liam had been to see Reggie in Park City, how he'd treated her like a girlfriend while she was there except while she was on the clock – and that had been more about Reggie than it was Liam.
He reacted similarly with Jenna when she walked in the door of the Malibu house. He embraced her as though he was thrilled to see her, kissed her much longer than you would a casual friend or even lover and was affectionate toward her the rest of the night.
As the sun went down, the four of them sat on the deck, Jenna on Liam's lap and Emily on Rob's. Em caught her eye and Jenna looked a little sad.
“Why don't you two build a fire and Jenna can help me get another bottle of wine and grab a couple of blankets from upstairs.” The men agreed and Jenna followed Em inside the house. When they were safely upstairs in the kitchen, Em said, “It's not enough, is it?”
Jenna sighed. “No. I want it to be, but it's not. I know sharing him with Reggie seems weird, but he hasn't been ready to settle down. I didn't want to force the issue and lose him altogether.”
“Are you in love with him?” Emily asked as she opened the wine to let it breathe.
“I don't know. Part of me thinks so, but part of me sometimes wonders if it's more that there isn't anyone else I like as much as Liam.”
Em walked over to the closet where the linens were stored. She handed Jenna the two blankets. “Do you think he'll ever settle down?”
“With me or in general?” Em shrugged and indicated either. “Someday he'll settle with one person.”
“You just don't think that will be you?”
She shook her head. “I wish I could say yes. Or that I could say I thin
k he'd choose Reggie instead. I could almost live with that. We're great friends, but we're so different.”
They were. Reggie's crazy hair and eclectic style were opposite Jenna's typical California girl bleached-blond locks and surfer wardrobe.
“If he was really serious about either of us, he'd have chosen by now. It's been going on three years,” Jenna said.
“He seemed thrilled to see you.”
“He's always thrilled to see me, Emily. And I know he means it. The sex is great and we get along really well. But he doesn't work hard to keep in touch when we're apart. I adore him. I'm always happy to see him and I feel like I'm important to him when we're together. But when we're not...”
“It's just not there.”
“No. And Reggie said the same thing. Whatever the reason, he won't make up his mind about any of it. And for now, I can live with it because I don't have anyone else. But if I found someone...”
“I hear you. I sort of stayed with my ex for the same reasons. I was ready to end it before I met Rob, but finding him made it a lot easier to make that leap. Can I ask you a question?” Jenna nodded. “You don't think Rob still has feelings for Rachel, do you?”
“Well, I didn't know him when they were together, but I've never gotten that impression, no. Why?”
“It was just something she said at Sundance.” Em explained how she ran into Rachel at the party and their conversation.
“I think that's just Rachel being Rachel. She hates anyone being the center of attention other than her. I've only met her a few times, but she's always a bitch. She's snotty to anyone she thinks is beneath her and she's bitchier if someone is a bigger focus than she is.”
“She probably loathes me, then.”
“Oh, I'm sure. Rob said that you upstaged her at the Globes.” Em shrugged. “No, he said that she was irritable all night after he asked her to keep you company. Apparently, you made her look bad more than once.”
“I don't know about that. I probably made her look silly when she introduced me to Harvey, though.”
“Harvey Rosen? She introduced you to him and you made her look silly?” Em nodded and told Jenna the story. “Oh, she hates you for sure. He's never taken her seriously and you made it worse. That's hilarious. If you had ambitions in Hollywood, I'd tell you to watch your back. But since you don't...well, I'd still watch your back.” Jenna laughed.
They grabbed the wine and headed back down to the deck. Both men stood when they walked outside. Rob kissed Emily's lips and took a blanket from Jenna. Liam kissed and hugged his girlfriend and buried his face in her hair. As she put her arms around him, Jenna shared a sad smile with Emily. She didn't envy that situation.
The four of them sat outside for a few hours, talked, laughed and drank wine while they snuggled under blankets. Eventually, Liam and Jenna went upstairs and left Emily and Rob alone. Since Liam was there, they'd given Brian the night off and it was truly just the two of them. They hadn't been unaccompanied like that since they left Minnesota.
They took advantage and slowly removed each other's clothes under the blankets in the darkness. It was a little chilly to be naked outside at night, but it didn't take long for them to get warm as they touched and kissed.
Rob wanted to make love on the chaise and Emily said no at first – she was worried they'd be seen by a lurking photographer for one, and they didn't have condoms for another. He assured her that the neighborhood was safe from the paparazzi and he said he'd run upstairs to get a condom. She laughed, because he was already naked.
“So. It's my house. Brian's gone and Liam and Jenna are busy doing their own thing. Who's going to see me?”
“Why don't we both just run up there and have sex in our bedroom?”
“Because I want to make love to you out here, near the ocean. I'd take you to the sand, but it's cold and wet and apparently uncomfortable if you get it in your lady parts.”
She touched his face. “Sex on the beach without having to actually lie on the beach?”
He kissed her. “Exactly.”
She kissed him back. That sounded nice. But it wasn't nice for long, because it got heated in moments. They kissed deeper, touched frantically. He dragged her leg across his hip, pressed himself into her. She wanted him inside her. He read her mind, was ready to push inside, when she realized what she almost allowed to happen and she stopped him.
Breathless, she said, “Not without a condom. Either you go get one or you take me upstairs.”
He laughed, hopped up, ran naked from the deck and into the house. Emily lay huddled under the blanket for a few minutes as her heart raced. It dawned on her that she'd nearly let him make love to her without any birth control. And since she had never tracked her cycle, didn't even know the first thing about it, Em had no idea if that would have been a disaster. She loved Rob but she wasn't ready to have a baby. And if he got her pregnant...she couldn't imagine not having his baby. Which in itself terrified her.
When he returned, Rob wore his robe and carried hers in his hand. He also held a string of condoms and she had to laugh. Her Eagle Scout was usually prepared. Which calmed her – it wasn't likely to happen again.
He dropped his robe and stood there, completely naked, perfect and beautiful. “You realize that anyone walking by could see you in all your glory,” she said.
“I only care if you can see me. It's dark tonight and we're in the shadows on the deck. They'd have to look carefully and on purpose. If so, let them look.”
“Get over here before you encourage the neighbors to make money off your brazen attitude. The only one who should see you naked is me.” He obliged and crawled under the blanket with her. Em squeaked, “You're freezing!”
“I know. You should warm me up.” He took her hand and brought it to his groin. Apparently, being cold didn't prevent him from getting hard in an instant. She stroked to get him ready for her again and it didn't take long. She rolled on the condom by feel. In seconds, he spread her thighs and eased inside.
“What do you think about sex on the beach?” he panted as he ground into her.
“Oh, I like it. We should do this more often. It improves your rhythm.”
“You don't think I have good rhythm?” he asked as he increased the pressure and speed.
“I'm teasing,” she moaned. “You have excellent rhythm. Don't you know I think you're a god in bed?”
“No, I didn't know that. A god, huh?”
“Yes,” she breathed, “epic. Better every time. Only gods can get better when they're already the best.”
“The best?”
“Yes!”
“You don't want anyone else?”
“No! Never anyone else. Only you. I want only you.”
“Do you love me?” he whispered. He sounded so sincere, so earnest. How could she not admit it?
“Yes.”
“Only me?”
“Always.”
“You promise?”
“I promise.”
“Will you come with me?”
“Yes. Yes, please. Take me there.”
He took her, hard and fast and as she was about to come, he kissed her and his lips forced her mouth closed. He wouldn't remove his mouth from hers, wouldn't let her scream. They cried their ecstasy into each other's lips and all the energy that would have escaped her mouth went between her thighs.
When he finally released her lips, she breathed, “Oh, my God, that was incredible.”
He nuzzled her neck. “I love you, Emily. More than anything in this world. I don't know what I'd do without you now.”
“You don't need to find out. I'm here. I'm yours.”
“I'm so glad,” he whispered, tears in his voice. She held him in her arms, held him inside until he went flaccid. “Lie still,” he warned, and she was about to move and ask why when he grabbed the condom end and pulled out.
Twice in one night she'd nearly done something stupid that could get her pregnant. She huffed a laugh in disbelief. Was she subcon
sciously trying to get pregnant? Was she attempting to make permanent ties to Rob? She had admitted that she loved him. She hadn't said the words, but she didn't deny it when he asked her directly. She had implied it, had showed him, had even said 'ditto' when he said he loved her. But he had never asked if she loved him before this and Emily had said she did. Did her heart want this to be forever? That scared her.
When Rob returned from getting rid of the condom, he climbed under the blanket with her and held her in his arms. “You okay?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“You sure?”
“Absolutely. Never been happier. Why do you ask?”
“You seem tense.”
She didn't want to tell him what was really on her mind, so she covered. “Maybe it's because you didn't let me scream. You should take me upstairs and make love to me again and let me scream this time. You've made me a screamer.”
“Oh? You weren't before?”
“No. Never.”
“Really?”
“Mmm.”
“But you screamed the first time I made you come, before we ever made love. You screamed just when I touched you and put my mouth on you.”
“Yes. I know. Like I said, you made me into a screamer.”
He laughed lightly. “I like hearing you scream. I know you can't fake anything and it tells me you're enjoying it.”
“Oh, there was never any doubt about that. From the moment you kissed me until lying here in your arms, I've enjoyed it all.”
“So have I. It was awful being without you.”
“Yes. It was. Let's not do that often. Let's do whatever we can to be together as much as possible. I didn't realize how much I had gotten used to you being there until you weren't.”
“I know. Having you around all the time was far preferable to you being across the country.” Emily yawned. The cold was making her sleepy. And she still wasn't really used to the time change. “Let's head to bed and I'll make love to you again. And I promise I'll let you scream this time.”
Em laughed. “Sounds good to me. Now hand me my robe. I'm not taking any chances.”
The Fluxus happening was a blast. Rob had never seen performance art like that before and it was fun to experience it with him for the first time. This event was sound oriented, where the audience physically interacted with a word and the sound they heard was the opposite of the word. You might step on the word laugh and hear someone sobbing. Or push a button that said scream and hear nothing. Like many things Fluxus, it was a temporary exhibit. Em took some photos with her iPhone and once they had seen everything, they headed to the party.
