So much like Diana had been.
Often, Diana had to stop herself from pushing the girl too hard, and recognizing where Lily’s strengths were, as much as she did her weaknesses.
She thought it a delight to be a teacher. It was a career she’d not thought of before, but was giving serious thought to, now.
With Lily’s final turn, there came clapping from the doorway.
“That was marvelous,” Frank said, as he came into the room. It was the first time he’d ever done so. He never came into the ballroom, or interrupted Diana at all during Lily’s lessons. The only people she ever saw were a woman who’d come to be Lily’s nursemaid and Hit. He peeked in often, as though he needed to reassure them both that she was safe.
And it did reassure her. Diana was not as scared as she had been, at what now felt like an entire year ago, even though she knew that no more than three months had gone by, since the Earl of Dahl had trapped her in the cellar.
Dahl had also been reported to have permanently moved to Italy, never to return to England again. When Diana had written her brother to inquire how this had come to be, she’d been surprised when he’d claimed to have had nothing to do with it.
She didn’t think her brother would lie to her, so she trusted his words. However, hearing that the earl was gone—to the very place he’d written that he would, in his grisly poem—lifted her soul in an unimaginable way. It would have only been better if he’d gone to America or India, somewhere even further, but she wouldn’t complain.
Lily ran to her uncle and conversed spiritedly with him. She wore her practice clothes, a pale-yellow gown that weighed nothing, with a pair of small heels on her stockinged feet. Frank smiled down at her and she glowed, as she stared up at him. “Diana says she’ll speak to Monsieur Groux about an audition!”
“Did she?” He turned to Diana and his gaze swept her, making her toes curl. Then he turned to Lily. “Tea and cakes are in the drawing room.”
The girl didn’t need to be told more than once. She skipped from the room, with her nursemaid following right behind her.
Frank started toward Diana. Her stomach tightened, but she pasted on a smile as he stopped before her. “How are you?”
It was his second time asking.
She wanted to lie, knowing what would happen if she spoke said the truth.
But they both knew it was time. His eyes caressed her face, before locking with her gaze again.
“I’m… better.”
His smile was soft. “I’ve noticed. You’re focused, and no longer seem to shy away from talking about the incident.”
She nodded. They’d spoken twice a week since the day she took Lily as her student. Only during those two hours did they talk of it. Otherwise, Frank filled the time with conversations about anything and everything.
She knew about his brother Calvin, and the woman he’d married. Frank had also spoken about the other Men of Nashwood, his brotherhood from his school days. She knew all their names and so much of their stories of love that she thought she knew them, herself.
She’d told him about her childhood, growing up with her mother, Gryfon, and Hit’s protection, her friendship with Kate, and her first audition for Monsieur Groux.
They’d not kissed again, but Diana had thought of it often, almost just as much as she did of how he’d held her when she’d slept. She’d not had another night terror since that night.
He knew this. They’d discussed it.
There was really nothing left to say.
And yet, there was so much Diana wanted to say.
And knew she wouldn’t.
She was Frank’s patient. She’d already pushed him further than she should have, and he’d been right when he’d claimed her to be using him. She’d not do that to him again. She needed to discover herself once more. She needed to know a Diana who didn’t have Frank’s reassuring smiles every day, and know that all would be well.
“I’ve written your brother,” Frank said. “He wishes to come and see you tomorrow. Are you amenable to this?”
She nodded.
“If he sees that you are well, he’ll likely want to take you back to London.”
London. She swallowed down her fear. “I’ll… have the maid pack my trunks.” It was time to return. She couldn’t stay here forever. She couldn’t keep Frank forever.
It was never meant to be.
* * *
Diana’s words startled him, though he knew he should have been prepared for them. She no longer had need of him. She’d… bloomed. He could tell she was nervous, but knew in his heart that he’d not have let her go if he didn’t think her ready.
Did he have to let her go?
He had to admit that even with the lack of romance that had once been between them, he’d more than enjoyed his time with her. She’d touched him in a way he’d not forget soon. If ever. His goddess would remain a part of him. Her eyes, whenever he thought of them, would brighten his mood, and fill his coldest moments with warmth.
A part of him regretted meeting her under these circumstances. If only she’d had another doctor. If only the incident had never happened.
At night, he imagined that her show had never been cancelled and he’d met her on the night of her performance at Covent Garden. Lily would have dragged him toward her, and he’d have taken one look into her eyes and seen…
He blinked the thought away. “I’ll be taking Lily to her parents in Cort.”
Her lips parted. “You’re not returning to London?”
“I could, if you’ve further need of me.” He was nearly greedy to be near her, to breathe the same air as she.
“No.” She frowned, regret between her brows. “That would be… I need to do this.”
Yes, he knew. He understood. She needed to say no more.
He swallowed. “Diana.”
She moved closer. “Do you think me fit to leave?”
He stared down at her and sighed. “Yes.”
She leaned up and pressed her lips to his cheek before pulling away. It took him a moment to open his eyes, and only did so, once he was sure he’d savored the feel of her. “Thank you, Frank. Thank you for everything.”
They shared another look and then she left the ballroom.
* * *
15
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* * *
* * *
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CHAPTER FIFTEEN
.
my addiction consumes me again
how light she moves on pointed toe
long legs that move at a loveR’s pace
like daggers they make a mIghty blow
shall we Voyage to FrancE?
let the opeRa smooTH my senses
led to rest my mind by soprAno’s song
for notes she late never soon Misses
yet if a capella strains my thoughts
and she should Enter in
best strain the neck of she who lingers
and Stay home with friend and kin
* * *
April 1817
London, England
Frank watched as Lily, in line with the other performers, took their final bows as the audience came to their feet with thunderous applause. Frank had seen a few ballets before; but found himself impressed with tonight’s display of talent. The story had been a captivating tale of political chaos, mystery, and danger. Lily’s role amongst the dancers had been a child of a commoner who’d tried to take the throne of the fictitious kingdom. It wasn’t a role that made her the focus in any way. She didn’t stand out from amongst the other dancers or children, but Frank suspected that he wasn’t the only one who thought Lily shined the brightest. Her family was in attendance, filling the boxes to the brim. Eight aunts, ten uncles, her sisters, and her cousin, Lady Elipha, who’d been Lily’s governess during that first year she’d come to live with Aaron. Elipha’s husband, Lord Rakefield, was also in attendance
. Only Aaron and Elipha, and Lily’s sister Mary, had any actual blood connection to her, and besides Mary, Aaron and Elipha’s connection was distant, but no one allowed the girl to feel it. She was adored, and she well knew it.
“Phenomenal!” Frank’s brother, Calvin, shouted above the crowd. “Was she not the most amazing dancer you ever saw?” His warm golden eyes swept to Frank, before turning to speak to his wife, Alice, who stood on his other side.
She’d been amazing, Frank readily agreed.
And only second best to the woman who had played the lead.
Dressed in a soft white garment, Diana Banns took center stage and seemed to bask in the enthusiasm of the crowd.
Tonight, she’d been everything Frank had expected her to be, and more, and he took very little credit in who she was, today. Dance had always been critical in her life. He’d done little more than remove the veil of self-doubt and fear, so that she could see the truth.
He could hardly believe that it had been seven months since he’d last seen her. After returning to the ballet, she’d left with the Monsieur Groux Company to perform in France and Russia; and had returned to London a month ago.
Aaron had informed him of her visits to the Jeanshire’s London residence as she helped prepare Lily for her first performance, but Frank had stayed away, claiming work consumed him.
And he did have much of that.
His colleagues had been more than intrigued when they’d discovered he’d once worked for Bancroft. How they’d found out, he wasn’t sure, but when they’d asked for details, he’d avoided the subject entirely. Yet since word had spread, he was recommended to take on one very important patient, who liked to consume as much of his time as possible.
But knowing that, Aaron had suspected there to be more to Frank’s refusal to see the woman he’d once helped, months ago.
And his friend was right. Frank was avoiding their reunion, because he feared seeing her again. He’d thought of her less and less as the months went by, but she’d never completely left him, just as he’d suspected she would not.
He’d received a letter three months ago, while she’d been in Russia. Another thank-you note for helping her. He’d replied with reassurance but left out how his heart had raced when his housekeeper had handed him the note, or how his fingers had trembled while he’d fought to open it.
And then he’d smiled, nearly memorizing the words, and stroking his fingers across the page, as though he could follow the strokes her fingers had taken to write the missive.
He’d left all of that out, and wished her well, but nothing more.
From his place in Aaron’s box, he could see the stage clearly, make out the curve of the woman’s body, the way the chandelier’s light played on her skin and caught in her eyes.
How was it that he still craved her? There were plenty of women in London. More ladies than he could count had tried since the season’s start to gain his attention. The papers, which liked to publish stories about Frank and his friends, had mentioned him to be one of the last Men of Nashwood who’d yet to marry, which in turn had the ambitious mothers chasing at his heels across every ballroom.
The only thing that kept some mothers from approaching him was his status as a doctor, a profession he made very clear.
Diana looked up as the curtains began to close, and her gaze landed on him.
She smiled and then was gone.
* * *
The noise of the audience on the other side of the curtain faded beside the furious pumping of Diana’s heart.
He’d come. She’d known he would. Had expected it, at least, but hadn’t been sure until Lily had told her so, before the dance had begun.
And though Diana had performed this very production in France and Russia, tonight she’d given the performance of her life, knowing he’d be watching her and wanting him to see her at her best.
Arms came around her, jostling Diana from her thoughts. She turned and found Lily. Her thin arms were strong as she clung to Diana.
“Thank you, thank you, thank you, Miss Banns.”
Drawn to the child, she lowered herself so she could give the girl a proper hug. She’d found Lily to be quite affectionate once they grew to know one another, which, after meeting most of Lily’s family, hadn’t surprised Diana at all. The child’s uncles and aunts, who happened to make up half the power and wealth of England, doted on the child, and openly showed their love, not only to Lily but to their spouses.
She’d been invited to a dinner one afternoon to meet everyone, and any anxiety she’d felt at the start of the evening, surrounded by handsome gentlemen and devastatingly beautiful ladies, had vanished within an hour or so. They were pleasant people, and she soon came to see how their connections had shaped Frank. With a group such as they, how could one not find a reason to smile?
Since departing her brother’s country estate months ago, it was the thought of Frank’s smile that settled her, whenever fears began to arise. That smile reminded her that she could overcome any challenge she faced.
And that was exactly what Diana planned to do.
She kissed Lily’s cheek, feeling more than a little affectionate herself. “You were the most spirited dancer. You did very well.”
The girl smiled, but her next words were interrupted by the crowd of dancers who came to congratulate Diana on her performance. Then Monsieur Groux cut through, and wrapped his arms around Diana.
“Belle!” The man stood back, but his grasp on her was tight. “I am ever so glad you have returned to us, Diana. I don’t know how we ever found the light without you here to guide us.”
Diana refrained from rolling her eyes, but caught sight of Kate, grinning at the very sour-faced Lulu. Monsieur Groux’s words were like a slap in the face to the dancer who’d taken Diana’s place while she’d been gone, but Diana felt little pity for Lulu.
With her return, Diana had received a great sigh of relief, and then a show of such gladness, that she’d known instantly that she’d been missed. She’d heard that Lulu had complained about everything once she’d become the soloist, from the way one of the dancers stood too close, to stage setting, music tempo, and lighting. Diana had received gifts from stagehands all the way to the music composer, who’d all made it very clear that she could never leave again.
Monsieur Groux shooed everyone away at once. “Leave Diana alone, and ready yourselves for the party.”
The dancers left the stage and Diana took Lily’s hand, as Monsieur Groux led them toward her dressing room. She’d promised Lord Jeanshire that she would keep the girl close, while at the theatre.
Monsieur Groux took Diana’s other arm. “Diana, I don’t know what has put such ardor into your steps, but you seem different tonight.”
She felt a flutter in her stomach. She was different tonight. It was her first performance since her return to England, since the night she’d been taken by Lord Dahl. There were so many thoughts running through her mind, but one thing she’d not allow herself to feel was fear.
“It feels good to be home,” Diana confessed.
Monsieur Groux nodded and sighed. “That must be it.” He showed Diana and Lily into her room and blew them a kiss before departing.
Diana helped Lily change, before changing herself. All the while, the two spoke with fervor about the production.
A knock sounded on the door moments later, and Diana opened it to allow the earl and countess into the room along with their other charges, Mary and Tina.
Then the rest of Lily’s family poured into the room, everyone vying for the chance to hold and hug her. Flowers were produced. A few were given to Diana, and she thanked them as she backed away, making room for others as she moved closer to the door.
She was so enraptured with Lily’s family as they showered warmth over her that she was surprised by a voice at her ear.
* * *
16
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* * *
* * *
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CHAPTER SIXTEEN
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“Miss Banns.”
Diana turned and found Frank to be leaning against the doorframe. This close to him, she was forced to lift her chin to meet his eyes. Gold. Green. She’d forgotten how brilliant they were. She’d forgotten how stunning he was.
Diana Sensational Spinster's Society (The Spinster’s Society) (A Regency Romance Book) Page 10
