He straightened on the bed as well. “Yes, but then you decided to continue dancing.”
“But with more students, I could make a good living as a teacher,” she reasoned. “And it would be best to leave the stage while I’m at my prime.”
Her thinking was very good. Reasonable. But he wasn’t sure. “I want you to be happy, Diana.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I am happy, Frank, but are you telling me that you’d rather I leave London than remain?”
He took her hand. “No, darling. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I simply don’t wish to be a deciding factor on what you do about your career.”
“Us.”
“What?”
“We would be the deciding factor, unless you don’t want there to be an us.” She lifted a brow and waited for his reply, even as she tightened her fingers in his own.
Was she out of her mind? Hadn’t he already told her she was his? It didn’t matter where she went. “Diana…”
Another knock sounded at the door.
He stood. “That must be the food.”
* * *
31
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CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
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Diana was surprised when Frank served their meal in bed, all the while making sure she was as comfortable as possible. His odd behavior after their lovemaking had nearly made her laugh… at first. But now, she could tell that something was greatly the matter. He acted as though she would run away, when away from him was the last place she wanted to be.
And yet at the same time, he encouraged her to continue dancing across the channel, where, if they continued their relationship, he would not see her for weeks or months at a time.
It was all very confusing, especially when it seemed his care for her happiness was at the front of his mind.
She’d been telling the truth when she’d mentioned wanting to teach and likely would have done it, with or without, Frank’s presence in her life. She knew that a part of it may have come from what Lord Dahl and the other individual who had been working with him had done, but deep down, it was the happiness in Lily’s eyes that had her leaning toward the change.
All she’d ever wanted to do was dance. She wanted to help other girls who wished to do so, as well.
They ate their creamed chicken in silence and then Frank took the dishes away once she was finished and offered her a glass of wine.
She settled back again the pillows and said, “By now, I’m sure most of your friends know I’m here. Will they say anything?”
He shook his head as he settled close to her. “No.” She’d suspected that answer. “We’re an unusual bunch. There are many secrets between us. Ours is safe with them and they’ll not judge you in the least.”
That was good to know.
He gathered her into his arms. “Tell me about this school you envision.”
She smiled. “Well, I would rent a space in Covent Garden. It’s close to the theatres, which would be good, but also I’d enjoy giving girls who couldn’t make it all the way to Mayfair a chance to perform as well.”
“Like yourself.” His fingers stroked her arm as he held her close.
She nodded and settled her head on his chest, thinking she could be just this way for the rest of her life.
Frank was unlike any other lover she’d had in the past. They’d never held her this way after tumbling in bed, never cared for her the way he did. Though, when she recalled the way he’d defended her when he’d believed Bancroft to have mishandled her, or how he’d held her in his bedchamber in the country house all those months ago, allowed her to sleep in his embrace, it was clear that Frank had always cared far more than a doctor would for their patient.
She closed her eyes as breathing became painful for her. And then she took a deep breath.
She was in love with Franklin Lockwood.
His voice directed her mind back to their topic, but her feelings seemed to change something within her. “Diana Bann’s School of Dance. I believe you’d have more girls at your door than you’d imagine.”
Just to tease, she said, “Do you believe my husband would allow it to remain Diana Banns? Or would he force me to change it?”
His fingers stilled and tightened on her. “It’s just a name for a building. Your company would use it to draw business. You, however, would take your husband’s surname.”
Diana Lockwood.
She liked it.
She leaned toward the nightstand to put down her glass and he took it from her.
“Allow me.” His arms were longer and, as he moved, so did she. She turned around to face him.
His eyes found hers once his task was completed, and that look she’d seen before crossed his features. But in another second, it flickered away. “Are you sure that’s what you wish to do?” His arms were around her again. “You don’t have to give up dancing.”
“I’m not giving up dancing. I know very well that whenever Monsieur Groux’s company comes to London, he’ll likely allow me on the stage. I am, after all, his greatest student.” Or so he repeatedly claimed.
“He’d not be angered that you’ve left?” His gaze had a very focused look. This conversation was serious to him.
She sighed and set herself so that her legs were draped over his. Her sheet was completely forgotten and her body was exposed to his thinly robed one.
His eyes trailed down her front and his nostrils flared.
She watched his manhood twitch underneath his robe and felt her own desires rushing to the surface. She’d only meant to distract him, not herself. She tried to focus on what she’d intended to say. “Monsieur Groux may very well get angry, but I’ve ways to make him agreeable.” And the fact would remain that people enjoyed seeing her dance and he enjoyed making money. Therefore, she’d simply agree to only dance for him.
Frank’s gaze narrowed. “And what methods would you use to convince Monsieur Groux?”
Diana was stung by the implication and quickly brought up her knees to close her legs.
Frank pushed them down and opened her to his vision again just as quickly. “I’ll have an answer from you, Diana.”
“If I slapped you, would that be answer enough?” she asked.
His fingers bit into her thighs. “How many men have you been with?”
The question shouldn’t have caught her off guard, not after his last.
Did the answer truly matter?
But, of course, it did. He was gentry. His friends were lords. They all enjoyed their brides more maiden than not.
And if that was so, what was she doing here?
Another thought came to mind. He wouldn’t ask her to be his mistress. He wouldn’t dare. She wouldn’t accept that thought and ejected it from her mind immediately.
But that didn’t mean he’d marry her.
“Is Monsieur Groux one of your lovers?”
* * *
The slap that struck him was nothing compared to what her brother had done to him just weeks ago.
But the look in Diana’s eyes, the sheer defiance that stood as clear as her pain, struck his belly like a carving knife.
“Damn you, Frank.” She started to struggle in his hold and he gathered her closer as he tried to right his mind. What had possessed him to ask her such a question?
He knew the answer. He was jealous of any man who had previously touched her and feared…
She continued to fight him, but it only made his arms lock on her harder. She eventually stopped, but her words were full of venom. “If you think me a tart, then I don’t understand why you didn’t simply take me sooner? I’ve been available to you for weeks.”
He closed his eyes. “I don’t think you a tart, Diana.”
“You just said—”
“I’m scared I won’t be enough for you.” It was painful to say the words aloud. He
detested self-examinations, yet since the moment Diana came into his life, he’d been doing it.
He didn’t want to lose her. It made him feel utterly weak to admit that, like a desperate man without spine or will, yet it didn’t stop it from being true.
He couldn’t pretend otherwise. His only options were to leave her forever, or take her and try to do what he must to keep her happy, so that she wouldn’t stray.
And he’d already taken her, tasted the forbidden fruit that had been denied him, so now he had to keep her.
He showered kisses on her shoulder and throat.
She gripped his sides and shuddered. “Frank.” The venom was gone, relaxed by heavy need.
His lips trailed up to her mouth and he kissed her with the urgency to take her taste within him. He loosened his hold on her and reached for her face, hair, arms, and breasts. Anywhere and everywhere he could touch her.
“Frank.” She leaned away and forced their eyes to meet. “You’re more than enough, more than I’d have ever hoped for.” She allowed him another kiss, another sip of her sweetness, and then pulled away. Her brows pinched. “Why would you have that fear?”
Should he tell her the truth? It was yet another part of him that made him feel small. He could only imagine how his father may have felt. “My mother didn’t die alone. She was in a carriage with her lover. They both died that night.”
The pity that filled Diana’s eyes was nearly too much to bear.
She touched his cheek. “I’m so sorry, Frank.”
“My parents were a love match,” he told her, needing her to understand the entire tale. “My father worshiped her and yet still, he wasn’t enough. His love for her wasn’t enough.”
She stroked his hair back but said nothing.
“It could happen to anyone,” he told her. “It happens all the time. People love one day and the next they’re entirely different people.”
She nodded with tears in her eyes. “That’s true.” What else could she say? He had no clue who her parents had been, knew nothing of their situation, and yet noticed she never mentioned her father.
Had there been love between them? Was it better to risk the heart for the moment, knowing one could very well lose it later?
He was willing to risk his. “I love you, Diana, and that will never change.”
She smiled as her tears finally fell. “I love you, too, Frank. Do you believe me?”
His heart expanded at the words. They were the sweetest gift she could have given him.
And yet…
She touched his lips. “It’s all right. You don’t have to answer that yet. Give it time, and we’ll both prove our feelings for one another.”
He nodded and she kissed him again, yet a new fear entered his mind.
What if he never allowed his heart to believe her?
* * *
32
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CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
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my addiction consumes me again
immorally Her hips do swaY
my loins rise when her quarters Descend
hEr wings they arch my way
shall we voyage to greece?
see the Places of antiquity
like dandy play the gentleman
And restore my former dignity
yet if my unearthing Reveals distaste
and lush landscapes turn to woman’s flanks
best yet to stay and slay the temptress
my spared coins will give their thanKs
“Ya’d think he’d eventually grow tired of lookin’ at ya,” Kate said as she stood by Diana at center stage, her hands at her hips before joining Diana in her stretches. “And yet, he continues to stare at ya, as though he’s never seen ya before.”
There was the murmur of others who were also on stage. A few hands were changing the stage props and there was a moment of rest in the rehearsal, which gave Diana time to chat with her friend.
Diana turned to look out in the darkened chairs in the audience. There were a few other people about. Writers, a few of the musicians had also left their place. Some of the dancers who were not in this current scene sat in a row in front of Frank, giggling and looking back at him, likely trying to gain his attention.
But just like any time he came, Frank only had eyes for her. If he did look away, it was either to study a book or check for danger.
They’d yet to find the other man who’d attacked Diana, but she knew it was only a matter of time. She could feel it.
Yet at the moment, she was content for so many reasons. She and Frank were set to venture to his family’s estate in the country the moment rehearsal ended, and the theatre itself felt oddly relaxing. She took note of many a relaxed posture and the smiles and laughter around them.
“It’s a wonderful day, Kate, don’t you agree?” Diana said as she fell forward, reaching for her toes.
“Oh, yes. Any day when Lulu isn’t here is a lovely day.”
Diana straightened and then glanced around the stage and into the audience before she realized that Kate was quite correct. Lulu was not present, and Diana hadn’t seen her during the day at all.
How odd. Lulu Lévêque never missed a practice or performance. Ever. She lived for dance. She wanted to be the best, even more than Diana, if she were completely honest with herself. Diana danced because it was fun, because movement rested in her heart. But for Lulu, it was her air and food. Diana, like many others, often thought Lulu would go mad if she couldn’t dance. That was why she was so very good.
A distressing feeling filled Diana’s belly. “Where is Lulu?”
Kate locked one of her arms between the other elbow and twisted. “Home. Ill.”
Diana settled. “Oh. Well, I hope it’s nothing terrible.”
“Lulu believes it will put her out for the rest of the Season.” Kate grinned and switched to her other arm. “Monsieur Groux visited her this morning and said she looked much the same as you did. Well, but mentally shaken. Mayhaps she is with child, do ya think?”
Diana had stopped listening. Lulu is not ill. This phantom voice whispered it over and over through her mind, like the touch of a cold hand. Her heart raced, pumping within her ears, and she struggled to cling to the present.
A hand touched her, but she didn’t pay it any mind.
He was here. The other man was here. He’d attacked Lulu. He’d come for her next.
She took a step and spun, searching.
Another pair of hands grabbed her and then she was shaken.
Her eyes focused on the hard hazel gaze in front of her. Frank. He’d come to her. She grabbed him and saw that his mouth was moving but couldn’t hear him. He turned to Kate, shouting something.
“Lulu,” Diana whispered.
Frank turned to her. “Lulu?”
Her grip on him tightened. “Lulu,” she pressed. “We have to go to her. We have to speak to her.”
Frank narrowed his eyes but said nothing else, as she rushed her from the theatre. Outside, her skin felt sensitive to the warm London air.
“Where do we go?”
“Mayfair. We need a hack.” There was no time to call for his carriage. Diana needed to be there this instant.
Frank found a hack stand and settled her inside before joining her. He took her hand and then did away with propriety and wrapped an arm around her.
Diana shouted the address and the hack took off in haste, obviously seeing the urgency in her eyes. She’d been in Lulu’s home for a few parties, only having been invited so Lulu could show off her residence, and make Diana feel small for renting out such a tiny apartment in Covent Garden.
As though Diana couldn’t afford far more than Lulu.
Diana covered her face and prayed her suspicions were wrong, but she knew they were not.
Frank rubbed her back, giving her some comfort, but Dia
na knew she could never find true peace until the other man was put away for good.
They reached Lulu’s quickly, and Frank knocked on the door.
Diana Sensational Spinster's Society (The Spinster’s Society) (A Regency Romance Book) Page 20
