Or maybe she was just pretending ignorance. He knew her equally well. He knew that if Kendall faced the fact that he loved her or that she might feel the same way, she’d fall into her standard pattern and run.
No way would he let that happen. If he could help it. Sifting through his options, he came up with only one. Keep silent and keep her around. Use a little reverse psychology and back off emotionally. Play the part of Kendall’s summer lover and let her be the one to come to her senses on her own.
Rick had just faced his past. Kendall deserved the time and the opportunity to face hers. But if he came on too strong, he’d risk losing her. Hell, he risked losing her either way, but with restraint and patience, at least he stood a chance. They stood a chance.
He definitely had a need for her. He always would. But for now, he’d let her think it was a purely sexual need, while doing his best to supply everything she’d been missing in life, the feeling of family, security, contentment, and love. All the things she unknowingly gave to him.
The things he’d have to get used to doing without again, if he failed and Kendall took her bigmouthed, adorable sister to Arizona, leaving Yorkshire Falls and him behind.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Kendall glanced outside where the tables were being setup for the day’s sidewalk sale. All stores, vendors, and school activities were participating. But if the line in Norman’s for coffee didn’t move, Kendall would throttle the people ahead of her. She needed caffeine.
“Thank God the sun’s out. Can you imagine a sidewalk sale in torrential rain?” Charlotte shuddered. “This is my first year participating but last year I heard they set up those heavy-duty tents and the water poured off the ends . . .” She reached out a hand and shook Kendall’s arm. “And you’re not listening, are you?”
Kendall blinked and focused on Charlotte’s concerned expression. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
Charlotte laughed. “That’s okay. You’re preoccupied.” After a night with Rick, Kendall was most definitely preoccupied and in way over her head. Her feelings for Rick continued to grow. Finding out about his past changed things. Knowing he had been married and had almost been a father did something to her deep inside. She didn’t want to think of him caring for another woman in that way. And if something like that bothered her, Kendall needed to force herself to think in new and scary directions.
“Did I thank you for taking Hannah last night?” she asked Charlotte, changing the subject. Maybe after a caffeine jolt she’d be ready to embark on that new line of thought.
“Only about three times. She’s a genuine joy.”
“Are we talking about the same teenager with the big mouth, buttinsky personality, and the chip on her shoulder?” Kendall asked. “And I mean that in the most loving way that only a sister can imagine,” she added with a smile.
“Actually we’re talking about the polite, discreet, and helpful girl right out there.” Charlotte tapped on the glass-plate window, pointing to where Hannah was helping Beth fold and display potential items for sale.
“Well, what alien invaded her body?” But she didn’t care so long as her sister was happy. And judging by the wide smile and constant movement of Hannah’s mouth, the young girl was thrilled to be chatting with Beth and assisting for the morning.
“I think it has to do with me not being her guardian that lets me see another side to her. Remember how you were with your parents?” Charlotte said and immediately clapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh, my God, I’m sorry. I forgot Roman told me you lived with different family members over the years. Geez that was insensitive of me.”
Kendall waved away a hand. “Don’t be ridiculous. It was a natural thing to say and a completely correct assumption about why Hannah’s being difficult with me.” She put a comforting hand on Charlotte’s arm. “Thank you for trying to help analyze the situation. Insight can only help.”
Charlotte inclined her head. “My pleasure then.”
“But you should know, I think her good behavior with you has more to do with your being Rick’s sister-in-law than anything else.”
Her eyes opened wide. “Hannah has a crush on Rick?” “Not in that way, no. She just idolizes him.” Kendall sighed. “Rick seems to be able to reach her when I can’t. Honestly I’m grateful someone can.”
“I’d say that Rick has a way with all women but that would be too flip for the situation. What Rick has is a way with children. Teens especially. The DARE program is such a huge success in our community thanks to Rick. He continues activities over the summer on his days off because it keeps the kids focused even when school’s out. They look up to him.”
Kendall nodded. She’d noticed that herself. Obviously when Jillian had taken off, she’d deprived him of the opportunity of being a father. And, oh, what a wonderful father he’d be. To a baby, a toddler, a child, or a teen. She clasped her hands to her chest, then realized where her thoughts were headed. That new and scary direction again. But it was true. Rick would be an exceptional parent to a child of any age.
Still thinking about commitment of any kind wasn’t easy for Kendall. She’d never envisioned a lifetime that included forever. Then again, no one had extended an invitation her way either.
“Hannah seems to have responded to Rick like any typical teen,” Charlotte said.
Kendall nodded. “That’s true. Hannah and Rick clicked from day one.” Just like she and Rick had clicked from the second they’d met.
“Hannah’s not the only Sutton girl who’s fallen for Rick’s charms, is she?” Charlotte whispered, in obvious deference to eavesdropping patrons on line along with them. “I know I’m being presumptuous. But when I was falling for Roman, I had Beth to confide in and I figure that since you’re new to town, you don’t have someone to talk to. Someone who knows you and Rick. And, well, I wanted to offer an ear.” Charlotte blushed red. “lf you want one.”
Kendall opened her mouth to speak but words failed her. Charlotte’s gesture, so warm, compassionate, and thoughtful, took Kendall off guard. “I’m not falling for Rick.” The standard words came automatically but so did her heart’s immediate denial.
Charlotte raised an eyebrow in obvious disbelief. A half smile formed on her lips. “Sorry, Kendall, but I’m not buying the story. Try saving it for someone who hasn’t been in your shoes already. Same shoes, different brother.” Charlotte tapped her feet against the floor, pausing in her rhythm only to take a few steps forward in line. “You can deny it for as long as you want. Seconds, minutes, days, or years. It doesn’t matter. One day your feelings for Rick will catch up with you. Just like my feelings for Roman caught up with me.”
Kendall wasn’t sure whether to be outraged Charlotte had read and intruded upon her private thoughts or be appreciative she’d cared enough to give her the warning. When it came to feelings, Kendall had always kept her emotions inside and dealt with them on her own.
Necessity had driven her to solitude at a young age. Habit and constant moves prevented her from sharing things with others as she grew older. Now Charlotte offered Kendall the chance to confide in another woman. More importantly, Charlotte offered a chance at the kind of genuine friendship Kendall had never had.
Charlotte couldn’t begin to imagine the importance of her offer. Gut instinct told Kendall that Charlotte’s warmth came easily and without thought, whereas Kendall’s desire to accept came with more difficulty. Although the lonely little girl inside her heart was dying to reach out and accept the gesture of friendship, fear prevented her from doing so.
Gathering herself, she met Charlotte’s patient gaze. “You’re presuming you and I are alike. We aren’t.” They couldn’t be.
Because anytime Kendall had allowed herself to get close to someone—her aunt, her parents, another kid in a new town—as soon as she let herself accept that sense of security, the blanket was ripped off and Kendall was left alone. And that was the crux of her fear, she realized for the first time. The basis of her need to run. People s
he loved, people she cared for, left her.
Her parents had abandoned her. In her own way, Aunt Crystal had done the same, first when she’d had to send Kendall away and later in death. In Kendall’s experience, one rooted in childhood, she always lost those she loved most. Kendall’s life and the people in it were a series of drive-bys. Her biggest fear was getting close to the people in Yorkshire Falls, to Rick and his warm, loving family, and then losing them.
Charlotte shrugged. “Okay, we aren’t alike. If you say so.”
“I do. From what I understand you wanted to stay in Yorkshire Falls. I plan to leave,” But what if she didn’t? What if she stayed here, a small voice in her head asked.
Kendall shivered and shook off the notion. She’d never wanted to put down roots in one place. Never had a sense of belonging. Surely she couldn’t belong in Yorkshire Falls.
“What else makes us different?” Charlotte asked with a grin, obviously amused by Kendall’s assessment.
Kendall had a hunch she didn’t need her inner self giving a voice to her deepest desires. She had Charlotte to do it for her. “Well, you weren’t adverse to getting married. I’m as far from that mind-set as you can imagine.”
If that’s true, then why were you evaluating Rick’s potential as a parent, that small voice in Kendall’s head asked. Darn this small town and Rick’s warm family and friends. Damn them for showing her all she’d missed out on in life. All she could have if she weren’t afraid to grasp what life may or may not offer.
Charlotte stared, as if she knew the war going on in Kendall’s mind and was giving her time to fight the battle before interrupting. Then she cleared her throat. “I guess I was wrong. Considering all you just said, you and Rick are really the opposite of myself and Roman. I mean for starters, Roman was the wanderer, not me.”
“I suppose,” Kendall murmured, unsure whose side she fell on now. Why did she have the feeling that unsettling her had been Charlotte’s intent all along?
The other woman shook her head and laughed. “Well, if I’m presuming anything about you now, it’s that you’re human. And humans are complicated. They don’t always know their own minds though they think they do.”
“Do you have a degree in psychology?” Kendall grinned.
“No, just one in observation. Case in point. I thought I wanted to stay in Yorkshire Falls because staying represented security. Turns out security for me can be defined in many different ways. And any way that includes Roman works just fine for me.” Charlotte shrugged. “Maybe you just think you want to keep moving from place to place. Or maybe not.” She shook her dark hair out behind her. “Come to think of it, you’re right. I shouldn’t presume to know anything about you. But if you ever need a friend or an ear, I promise to listen and not preach next time. Deal?”
She held out a hand and Kendall grasped it. “Deal,” she said, her head whirling with Charlotte’s words and the game of Devil’s Advocate her own mind played.
“Next. What can I get you two ladies,” Norman asked, saving Kendall from having to think through the meaning in what she’d just heard.
“Orange juice for me. A frozen Chai Tea for Beth and . . .” She glanced at Kendall, waving a hand, indicating she should take her turn.
Beth’s drink sounded interesting. “I’ll try anything once. Does Chai have caffeine?” she asked.
Norman nodded. “Enough to perk you up, missy.” Kendall laughed. “Then a Chai Tea for me and a large O.J. for Hannah.”
“Two Chais and two O.J.s,” Norman repeated. “Anything else?”
“Nope.” Charlotte insisted on footing the bill against Kendall’s arguments and moments later they were back out on the heated street and the sidewalk sale began in earnest. Charlotte’s handmade crocheted panties were a hit along with Kendall’s jewelry. After an hour, the wire jewelry had sold phenomenally well and Charlotte had collected deposits and a list from people who’d requested specific color schemes or ID bracelets and necklaces.
“I never expected this kind of volume,” Kendall said in awe.
“Hey, when you’re good, you’re good.” Beth gave her an earnest smile. “Welcome aboard, Kendall.”
Warmth fluttered inside her chest and the most she could manage was a smile in return. She glanced across the street and noticed her sister bouncing around with a group of nice-looking girls. Hannah too seemed part of a crowd here in Yorkshire Falls.
What ifs began circling in Kendall’s head once more. What if she settled here? What if she didn’t pack her bags and move to Arizona? What if she trusted in herself and in others for the duration?
Kendall shook her head. Twenty-seven years of habits were hard to break on one day. For now she wanted to enjoy the bright sunny day and the sense of belonging without the stress of decision-making or thought. She was grateful when seconds later, Thomas Scalia arrived to flirt with Beth. At least watching the other couple distracted Kendall from her own flights of fancy. As if she could ever really belong anywhere. But here felt so right . . .
“Ms. Sutton?”
Kendall turned at the sound of her name and found herself facing an attractive brunette.
“I’m Grace McKeever,” the other woman said. “My daughter’s name is Jeanette. Jeannie and your sister have become fast friends.” She gestured across the street to where the girls giggled. They congregated in one group while another clique of guys huddled nearby.
Kendall stifled a laugh.
“Jeannie’s the one with the dark ponytail. Anyway, I promised her I’d take her and a friend to an afternoon movie in Harrington and then for dinner. We’ll probably grab Chinese food and be home later on tonight. I’d love to take Hannah, if it’s okay with you.”
“That’s so sweet of you to offer.” Hannah had mentioned Jeannie more than once since the car wash and when Kendall had questioned Rick about her choice of friends, he’d reassured Kendall that the McKeevers were wonderful people. “Of course it’s okay. I’d be forever grateful, actually.”
“Wonderful. The girls will be thrilled.”
As if on cue, Hannah and Jeannie ran over, both talking at once. “Mom, can Hannah sleep over?” Jeannie asked.
“Kendall, I have to get this purple washed out of my hair,” Hannah said at the same time. “And Pam said she had just the solution to do it, and she said she could fit me in now. I don’t know what I was thinking, but Greg hates girls with fake hair, so I have to rinse this stuff out. Can I, Kendall, please? And I really want to sleep at Jeannie’s house. Did you know that Greg lives next door?” Hannah said, asked, and explained all without taking a breath.
Her sister wanted to rinse out her hair? She liked it here enough to come out from hiding? Why not, that small voice asked. You did, recalling how she’d rinsed the pink soon after arriving because she’d wanted to be herself. Kendall blinked, startled at the similarities between the sisters. And a positive one this time.
“Well, Kendall?”
Hannah’s voice interrupted her thoughts and Kendall glanced at her sister. “Yes, yes, and no.”
Her bright eyes opened wide, clearly upset. “That’s so unfair. Just because I slept at Charlotte’s last night doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be able to sleep out again tonight and I earned money helping Charlotte all morning, so—”
“Whoa.” Kendall held up a hand, cutting her sister off. “Yes, you can definitely have the purple washed out of your hair. My treat. Yes, you can sleep at Jeannie’s house if it’s okay with her mother.” She paused, an idea hitting her. “Actually, why don’t the two of you sleep at our house and give her parents a break after the movies and dinner? And no, I didn’t know Greg lived next door to Jeannie,” Kendall finished on a laugh.
Hannah blushed. “Sorry.”
“That’s okay.” At least Hannah was acting like a typical teenager and not an angry young girl. “So what does everyone think?” Kendall asked about the idea of the girls sleeping at her place.
The girls looked first at each other, then at p
oor Grace McKeever.
“Please, Mom, please can I sleep at Kendall’s?” Jeannie tugged on her mother’s sleeve. “They’re staying in Ms. Sutton’s old guest house. Hannah said it’s so cool. She has her own room and there’s an attic where Kendall set up all her jewelry designs. Hannah said it’s awesome. Please?”
Hannah said anything about Kendall or the house was awesome? Kendall had to blink back tears. She turned and wiped her eyes, intending to blame the sun if anyone called her on it.
“It’s fine with me, girls. We’ll stop at the house before we leave for Harrington so you can pack up your things.”
“Cool!” The girls shot each other conspiratorial grins, as if they’d accomplished some covert deal.
“Don’t forget a blanket or sleeping bag of some kind,” Kendall said to Jeannie. “We don’t have extra beds and furniture.”
“Double cool!” Jeannie said as Grace jotted down her cell and home phone number and Kendall did the same so they could exchange. Then Grace excused herself to do some more shopping. The girls turned to run back to their crowd of friends, but Hannah pivoted back and leaned across the table, meeting Kendall’s gaze.
“Thanks.”
The appreciation in Hannah’s eyes told Kendall more than anything her sister could possibly say. “My pleasure.” Reaching into her jeans pocket, Kendall pulled out spare money and gave it to her sister. “Spend wisely,” she joked.
Hannah shoved the bills into her front pocket. “Kendall?” “Yes?”
Hannah swallowed hard.
“Hannah, come on. They’re waiting for us,” Jeannie called out.
“I . . . I love you. Bye.” Before Kendall could reply, Hannah turned and ran to join her friends.
“I love you too.” And this time, a tear really did fall, dripping down her cheek.
As the sidewalk sale drew to a close, so did Rick’s shift. He was free to do as he pleased and seeing Kendall pleased him greatly. He caught up with her as she was exiting Charlotte’s Attic, a briefcase in hand.
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