I keep looking and the puzzle pieces only point to one thing . . . they’re looking for her.
“What the fuck is going on here?!” I roar out, not caring who hears my fury.
Chapter Eight
When I get mad at someone, I’m silent. Because if I speak my mind, shit is gonna get real
~ Keep the Plug in the Jug
Zane
Damon doesn’t say a fuckin’ word. He stands here with his palms planted on his desk. My guess is he’s trying to figure out what the hell to say. “Don’t even bother lyin’ to me. I’m not blind. I can tell it isn’t good, and boy, do I have the gist or what. So, fill in the fuckin’ blanks. Where is Amara?”
Damon breathes heavily, nostrils flaring. “I don’t know. Everything I’m findin’ tells me she’s in three places at once . . . which indicates this Lucien motherfucker from the Lucifer’s Heretics MC is fuckin’ with us. He’s got his own tech guy up his sleeve.”
“What? Lucian . . . isn’t he with the Steele brothers, like their tech dude or whatever?”
Damon shakes his head, “Yes, that Lucian is. This is another one. Long story short, his father was in the Lucifer’s Heretics MC. His half-brother is Cobra, and this is some sort of fuckin’ revenge scheme.”
Fury. Rage. Anger. Madness. Ferociousness.
It all fills my body in this moment.
How dare they keep this from me.
How fucking dare them!
“What the fuck happened?” I grit out through clenched teeth.
“I fucked up,” Dixon’s voice fills the room. Turning behind me, I don’t see what I expect to. He’s thinner than the time I last saw him, has lost a decent bit of muscle, and he’s using a walker. “That’s what happened, Zane. I fucked up when I went on a run with Chaz and Amara. I’m the reason Lucien took her, ‘cause I fucked up and forgot to call Damon. If I had, we could’ve had back up . . . and she might not be lost.”
He’s been in an accident, I can tell that much. “What happened to you?”
“Lucien slammed a sledgehammer into both hips, shattered them completely. I had a complete hip replacement.” Dixon mutters, soundin’ lost as he says it.
“I didn’t see Chaz on the way in.” I comment, realizing I should’ve heard his ridiculous laughter from a mile away.
“He’s at the hospital for his third surgery. Cheyenne and Abbey went with him.” Damon fills me in.
“Surgery on what?” So many questions and yet so very little answers.
Instead of Damon answering me, Dixon does. “Lucien went to town on my hips, but he shattered Chaz’s hands. He’s had to get them completely reconstructed. This is only his third surgery . . . and the docs are saying he’ll probably need a few more to get back to anywhere near his function before.”
“Jesus Christ. You thought it was best to keep this from me, when I could’ve been helping you? What the fuck is going through all of your heads? Why would you act so dumb?! And who in the fuck is Abbey?”
“She’s my sister,” Dixon replies.
“I was tryin’ to keep this private so we could sort it out. The entire reason this happened is because of us, and therefore it’s our responsibility.” Damon tries to explain. Little does he know his excuse is bullshit. Rushing up to him, I ball my fist and slam it directly in his gut.
“Let’s get one thing straight, Damon. This club is our family. You know that better than anyone. You fucked up here. You shouldn’t have ever kept this from me. I could’ve been calling friends to try and locate your sister, but because of you we’ve lost precious time. She could be dead by now. Don’t you understand that? She could be dead because of your irresponsibility.”
Damon hunches over, holding his stomach. But when he looks up to me, it’s like I’m staring at a rabid beast. “You don’t think I know that?! Why do you think I’ve done this?! That I’m not fuckin’ sleepin’? Huh? I will do whatever I have to do. I’m gonna find her, Zane. I’m gonna fuckin’ find her!” I managed a pretty good punch to the gut, but damn, you wouldn’t figure that with the way he’s unleashing his own fury on me.
Shaking my head, I walk away from Damon and head toward the door. But as I approach Dixon, I notice the VP patch on his cut. “When did this happen?” I question, growling.
It’s like he’s changed every damn thing about this club, and I’m fuming more and more with every passing moment. “Not long before she went missing. She went behind my back and did somethin’. I was furious and I . . . I took her officer position. She . . . made me feel more rage than I ever have before.”
Scoffing, “I know the feelin’.”
Since Dixon is hurt I’m careful to walk passed him and go out to the main part of the club. Grim is sittin’ down next to Octavia on a couch. Meanwhile, I see Widow and Kade chattin’ up with the two of ‘em. “Everythin’ alright?” Grim questions, and damn, I wish he didn’t.
“Does it look like everythin’s alright, Grim? For fuck’s sake.” I snarl, shootin’ him a look that could kill, I decide it’s best if I head out of the club for a bit and clear my head. The last thing I want to do is allow my fury to take over. Whenever it does, it’s never been good.
Once I’m back out in the Nevada heat, I take a deep breath and sit out on the picnic table under the tree. There isn’t any way I’d stand in the hot sun. Running my hand over my face, I’m tryin’ to figure out where to go from here.
It feels like my fuckin’ club is broken.
God, Dad, I wish you were here.
Chapter Nine
“Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later.”
~ Bob Goff
Octavia
“Jesus. Anyone wanna fill me in?” The man who must be Zane’s brother asks. They’re pretty much as spot on as identical can be, minus their slight hair color difference. Zane has a more brunette hair, while this guy’s hair is a tad bit darker.
“He knows, Kade.” A man appears from the back. He has a thinner frame, with voluminous dark hair and piercing eyes.
“He knows? Shit. Bet he didn’t take it the best.” Kade replies.
“No shit,” the new guy comments with a grumble.
I simply sit back against this couch and watch the shitshow in front of me. I don’t know the details, but I don’t have to. “You have a bar around here?” I ask, looking around. There’s some weird sort of crappy countertop thing toward the back, but I doubt that’s it.
“Uh, yeah. Who are you?” The snippy dude asks. Quickly scanning my eyes across his cut, I can see he’s the Prez and his name is Damon.
“Octavia, your soon to be First Lady.” I state, standing up. “Now, if you’d kindly point me in the direction of a drink, I’d be ever so grateful.”
Damon narrows his eyes and points to the corner of the room, the area I was hoping it wasn’t. “Back there, help yourself.”
I head over and scour through the shelves and cabinets, looking for anything that might be somewhat good. I see rail, but since I don’t have to pay I’ll go for the good shit. I see a nice bottle of Don Julio and figure it can’t hurt. Wrapping my hand around the neck of the bottle I make my way back over to the group of people. “One of us should go talk to him,” Grim suggests.
Damon shakes his head, “There’s no use. It won’t make a difference.”
“It could. He might be brutal, but he’s not inhuman. He’s just pissed about being blindsided, about the secrets.” Kade comes to his brother’s defense.
“Wow. Sounds like he and I can relate,” I mutter under my breath, but everyone in this part of the room surely heard me.
“You make a great point. Why don’t you go out there? He won’t hurt you, Octavia. You’re his Cinnamon.” Grim chuckles with a smirk.
I don’t know whether to laugh at his smartass personality or knock one of his teeth out. “Fine,” I head outside and see he’s sitting on top of a picnic table, leaning against a tree. On the flight over here, I
had a bit of time to think about things.
Zane didn’t have to interfere when my father was going to slap the shit out of me in front of the club. He doesn’t have to be nice, or tell me I have my own freedom, that I’m my own woman or any of that. He could be making my life a prison, but he isn’t.
He’s just as trapped as I am in this scenario. He was maybe a toddler when our fathers made this agreement.
“The world just wants to fuck with us, doesn’t it?” I question, taking a seat on the end of the table. Opening the bottle of tequila, I take a swig and look out onto the desert. It’s getting closer to sunset and a mixture of oranges and yellow fill the horizon.
“You could say that,” Zane’s voice is stressed, or at least I think it is. I don’t know well . . . anything about him besides who he is.
“I overheard enough to tell they lied to you. It sucks, doesn’t it?” I offer him the bottle, and much to my surprise he takes it, taking a swig back.
“I tolerate a lot of shit, Octavia, but I’ll tell you here and now. I don’t give leeway to those who betray my trust, even if they’re in my club.” Something about the way he’s speaking strikes fear within me. I don’t know if it’s the way his eyes closed in on me, or the roughness that took his once soft voice.
“Sounds like we’re similar. Don’t know if you picked up on what happened earlier, but my family lied to me too. And they could’ve chosen not to, so I feel you there, buddy.” I run my fingertips back through my burnt orange locks, wishing how things could be different.
“Yeah, the kid stipulation. I figured as much when I saw your reaction.”
“Mhm,” I murmur, sticking my hand back out for the alcohol. He passes it back over to me, but I notice the judgement in his eyes. After I take my swig, I ask about it.
“What’s with the drinkin’?”
“It dulls the pain,” I tell him, being honest with him. Sometimes booze makes me forget about everything that’s happened, causes me to feel like my sisters are still here, that they’re not gone.
“Alcohol doesn’t dull it, Octavia. It’s a band-aid for a bigger problem. All it does is postpone it.”
“Didn’t realize you were a preacher,” I sarcastically respond. My family told me the same thing, so I don’t get what he thinks he’s going to accomplish by saying all this to me.
“You got me so wrong, Cinnamon. I’m the damn Devil himself. Sinner is my middle name.”
“Oh?” I respond, rolling my eyes, taking another shot back.
“Who was that guy from earlier, the one on the street?” Zane’s question catches me off guard, so I turn to face him completely.
Drawing my brows together, he has to be talking about Chains. “Who, Chains?”
Zane shrugs his shoulders, “Dunno. The one who said he loved you. He called you O’. You gotta boyfriend or somethin’?”
I scoff, rolling my eyes. “He was Xia’s.” They didn’t have a label on what they were, but it’s the easiest way to explain it.
“She was one of your sisters, yeah?” Zane asks.
I nod, sighing heavily. “Yep, she sure was.”
“You didn’t say no to me.”
“Huh?”
“You didn’t tell me no, that you didn’t have a boyfriend.”
“I have a fiancé,” I reply in a smart assed manner.
Zane chortles, “Yeah, but you had someone. Before this became official, didn’t you?”
I look at him, staring into those hazel eyes of his and debate lying. I go back and forth on whether or not I should let him know about Inc, but I decide to be honest . . . because if anything does happen . . . I want us to have started off on the right foot.
So, I nod. “Yeah, I had one. He broke up with me the night my sisters were killed, said he knew what would happen, knew how we’d be torn apart and it was easier this way. We needed to put the club first and all that shit.”
“Damn, talk about savage.” Zane replies, showing a bit of pity in his features.
I suck in a short breath, “Yeah. This may sound cruel, but seeing my sisters die in front of my eyes didn’t hurt as much as that betrayal. It . . . it ripped me apart.”
“Damn, I can understand. You had just gone through a horrific loss and there you were losing someone else.” I have to admit, this guy isn’t as bad as I thought he was going to be.
“Yeah, but we lose people throughout our lives, right?”
Zane nods, “Yeah. Unfortunately, we do.”
“So, what’s your story? You have someone?” I question.
He smiles, shakin’ his head while he laughs. “No one important. I always knew I was gonna end up hitched to one of you Raiders’ women, so I never got my dick wet where I could get attached. I usually fuck clubwhores, or I’ll go fuck some of the women in the club.”
Whoa. Did he really just say that? “I’m sorry, like the Iron Vex MC?” They’re swingers, and everyone knows it. So, essentially they’re in a monogamous relationship with someone, but they have sex with others in the club . . . which is crazy, but hey, I’m not judging.
“Nah, like, damn . . . okay, I’ve slept with Hawk’s girl, Raven. It was just a rough fuck, but it was before they were together. I’ve fucked Alexa a few times. They usually call me up when they want some three-way action. She’s Bull’s ol’ lady up in Montana. They’re the first two I can think of, but, I’ve probably fucked more than them.”
“I appreciate your honesty.”
“Yeah, well, I gotta break some shit down for you real quick. Especially since we’re stuck in this together.”
“Okay . . .”
“I don’t see gender, Cinnamon. I’ve only ever seen soul, you catch me?”
“Yeah,” I confirm.
This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever done, but I don’t . . . no, scratch that. I’ve never in my life had someone this open and honest. It’s refreshing, and it pulls a lot of the fears and reservations I had away. “It’s that fuck’s loss for losin’ you, ‘cause from what I can tell you’re a catch. But, I’m gonna just say I’m a pretty open-minded man, and I’ll leave it at that.”
Zane’s tone changed when he said he was open-minded, and I have an idea of what he was hinting at . . . but I’m not sure. Though, I’m not gonna go digging to find out any confirmations right now. I’ll take things slow and we’ll see what happens. I may bring it up soon, though . . . because if I can find a way to still have Inc . . . I’m gonna damn well go for it.
Chapter Ten
Families are like roots on a tree. Our branches grow in different directions, but our roots remain as one.
~ Unknown
Zane
Octavia and I sat out on the picnic table, watched the sunset together and chatted a little bit about life. There wasn’t any pressure but shit just flowed. You know? It was obvious to me she stopped seeing me as her enemy and more like her cellmate. Honestly, we have no reason to be holdin’ mixed feelings against the other. We didn’t do this. Our parents did.
It’s a little past eight thirty at night and I’m in Kade and Ivy’s house. It’s modern, and I can’t help but smile at the fact dad picked out this place. He was the one who purchased all the mobile homes and got the club up and running, and damn, he did a good job. These trailers are nicer than the ones back home.
Okay, that might be an exaggeration. Our construction at the club is almost completed. They just finished putting drywall up and they’re doing the painting today. All they have left to do is put up trim and a few little things. When I get back tomorrow, the whole place will almost be completed.
I should smile at that, how the club will be a home again really soon . . . though I can’t. ‘Cause every fuckin’ day I’m reminded of the man I lost. The same man whose legacy I’m keepin’ alive. It’s a lot of pressure, but I know I can do it. I just wonder sometimes if I’m gonna run shit the way he would, or if I’ll come into my own as Prez.
“You got that look on your face,” Kade comments.
Octavia is back in the twins’ bedroom with Ivy and Fate. Meanwhile, I have a lil’ ham named Orion in my arms. His middle name is Fist, after our deceased dad. “What look?” I ask my brother, starin’ into this kid’s ice blue eyes. They’re so pale I’d debate callin’ ‘em gray.
Kade shrugs, “The one. You know. Where you look like you’re deep in thought, or overthinkin’.”
I scoff lightly, in complete awe of my nephew. “A little bit of both I guess.”
“Spit that shit out, or I’ll call Ash and make her yell at ya until you do.” My brother sits back on the couch with a shit eating grin on his face. The thing is, I know for a fact he’d pit our sister against me. She’s not our biological sister, but blood doesn’t matter. Blood doesn’t make fuckin’ family. Our dad and mom adopted us when we were little. If I remember it properly, we had to be toddlers. Couldn’t have been older than that.
Glancing up from Orion, I look to my brother. “Sometimes I’m wonderin’ if I was the right choice for this.”
“What the fuck. Why would you think somethin’ like that?” Kade questions, makin’ me feel crazy that I’m even questionin’ shit.
“Kade, I’m not you.”
“That’s not what Angela Morris thought in eleventh grade when I fucked her so hard the entire school heard her moanin’.” Kade laughs.
Rolling my eyes, I continue. “Yeah, we might’ve had some advantages growin’ up bein’ identical. But, my point is . . . I’m not gonna do shit the same way you would. You’d honor everything Dad did, the way he did it. I’m gonna find new ways. Hopefully better ways to get shit done. I just . . . I fuckin’ wonder if I should’ve been the man he chose to fill his shoes.”
Kade nods, understandin’ where I’m coming from. “First of all, I think you’re talkin’ about a different man. Dad and I bumped heads more times than I could count.”
Zane (Reapers MC Book 11) Page 5
