by Amanda Tru
Addi flopped off of her bed and strode into the bathroom. The light above the mirror was permanently a yellow hue, and she always looked sick, but even if she ignored that fact, she could no longer even pretend she found herself pretty. Not after so much rejection.
An email pinged through on her phone, and she ran to get it, stupidly hoping it was Drew. The unread message was a no-reply email from Betwixt2Hearts.com, just an automated message.
Dear Addi Merrick,
We are sorry to inform you that we were unable to match you with any candidates in your search area. Don’t give up, your perfect match is still out there. You can keep your profile active for a small fee. Please visit us at www.betwixt2hearts.com to set up a plan perfect for you.
Thank you
She focused on keeping her breathing even. Her father had always said that in the weakest moments, that’s when Satan would strike. She did feel weak, very weak, and alone, and inadequate. Addi grabbed her phone and slipped it in her back pocket, shoving her key in the other. Her own church was far away, and if she wanted to go there, she’d have to pay for bus fare, which she couldn’t afford. There was a chapel a few blocks from her apartment, right in the middle of one of the poorest neighborhoods of Great River. It stayed open twenty-four hours a day for prayer and worship. She’d never been there but had heard about it.
No one was out and about as she made her way down the dark streets. The closer she got, the louder the music from the little building became and when she opened the doors, a calm soothed over her. She took a deep breath, and the scent of candles and incense filled her nostrils. A woman stood up front, singing a worship song. Some people joined with their hands raised. Others raised their hands and just swayed to the music, but didn’t sing. Some people knelt by the front in prayer.
Addi took a few steps in, and a woman came up to her. “Is this your first time?”
She couldn’t answer, couldn’t form words. Her body felt full, from head to foot. She managed a nod.
“I assumed so. You have that look about you. There are no set rules here. Pray or worship in your own way.”
The room had a vibration, a hum, that she couldn’t explain. She stumbled forward and slid into a pew by herself. The heaviness that had held her captive all evening released, and tears coursed down her cheeks. “You will not win, Satan. I am a child of God,” she whispered.
The words Liberty had spoken to her the day before came to mind. She was an empty vessel that needed to be full. She couldn’t give love from an empty well. “Fill me, Lord. Fill up all my empty places. Make me see me, how you see me.”
Her eyelids drooped, and for the flash of a second, Heaven gave her a glimpse of herself―but nothing like her human form―and she fell to her knees as the tears came in earnest. “I’m so sorry, Lord. I’m so sorry I believed the lie.”
She remained on her knees while she listened to the songs of worship at the front of the chapel, but she had no more words. There was no doubt in her mind that the Lord had drawn her to that spot to meet with Him. He wanted her to know she was a princess of the most high King and she needed to act like it.
There was no clock on the wall, and she didn’t check her phone, but when the singer in the front changed, Addi pulled herself off the floor and made her way to the door. She looked for the woman she’d encountered on her way in, but no one was the same as when she’d entered, or she simply couldn’t remember them.
The cool night air brushed over her face as Addi made her way back to her apartment. She pulled her phone from her back pocket and realized she’d been in the chapel for over two hours, but it hadn’t seemed that long. She’d missed a text at some point, and she opened it up. It was from Drew, only one line.
Drew: Betwixt got back to me with a match. I’ll be set up with a surprise date soon.
Drew paced back and forth in his living room. Hadn’t Addi gotten his text? She’d never ignored him and certainly not when it was so important. Though, perhaps she’d gotten the same email he had and already knew what he did, that they’d been matched. Not just put together by some arbitrary computer program, but matched by a human who had combed through a bunch of profiles to find him the perfect one. That’s what his email had said. She was his perfect match.
He hadn’t been able to think of a good response when they’d told him, and had just closed his email instead of agreeing to the date right away. He had to talk to Addi about it. How was it possible that the two people this company had matched him with were known to him? It had to be because it was so new, they didn’t have a large pool to pick from yet. The first had disastrous results, but did he dare risk a date with Addi? What if he enjoyed himself and she proved to be just the girl he had hoped for, then changed on him? Worse, what if they had a great time and one of them wanted to continue, but the other didn’t? What if she was even more perfect than Lauren, but left him anyway? He’d have to go through that crushing loss all over again.
Two agonizing hours had gone by since he’d sent her the text. Now he didn’t know what to say, and even more, what to think. Was she ignoring him because Betwixt had contacted her, or had she already changed and moved on? He raked his hand through his hair and fell limp onto his sofa, all the pillows Lauren had left behind lumpy underneath him.
No more Lauren. That was the first step to clearing his mind. He’d let her ghost ruin his life and his thinking for too long. He gathered all the pillows and wall hangings, every knickknack and scented diffuser. He put every last piece into boxes for donation. Someone else could enjoy them, but they’d hung around his apartment long enough, reminding him of his failure.
His phone buzzed, and he leaped to it where he’d left it on the sofa. Addi’s message was short and to the point.
Addi: I hope you have a great time.
She didn’t know. They hadn’t told her yet, or she hadn’t checked her email. He punched in a quick reply.
Drew: We need to talk. Can I come over?
He stared at his phone, willing her to respond quickly. He had to stop her from reading that email. If she did, and he said he didn’t want to date her, he’d have to explain why. He would have to admit that he wasn’t anything special. He was the guy that love left behind. Maybe that had been his real worry all along. Not that Addi would change, but that she would discover he wasn’t all that great. Certainly not great enough for Lauren and maybe not enough for Addi either.
Addi: It’s late, and I’ve had a long day. Can we talk tomorrow?
No, they couldn’t. He needed her now. He rested the side of his head against the back of the couch. If Betwixt didn’t send her an email until he responded, then he was safe. There was no guarantee that would happen. How would he get Addi to skip over that email, without telling her an outright lie?
Drew: I really need to talk to you right now.
He sounded desperate, but desperate times meant he had to pull out all stops.
Addi: It’s too late for the bus, and it’s not safe to leave your scooter out here at this time of night. Talk to me tomorrow at The Bean. I’m headed to bed.
All logical, but when had Addi been logical? Something was wrong. Unless she had read the email and denied the match. Maybe she had denied it because he’d already turned down a date with her and she just didn’t want to talk about it. That had to be the case. Otherwise, she’d want to talk to him, they’d hardly spoken all day.
Drew: All right. I’ll see you in the morning, beautiful.
He clicked off his phone and slid it onto the coffee table. He’d been worked up for hours over that email, but now it was over, and he could rest. He closed his eyes, and an image of Addi appeared. She had her hair down, and in his mind’s eye, it was softly curled. She had a gentle smile on her lips, but very little makeup. She didn’t need it; gorgeous women never really did.
A man approached her and held out his arm. She waved to Drew, and the image disappeared. Was that what he was destined for yet again? To watch someone he cared about just w
alk away? But why wouldn’t she; he had no hold on her. He sat up and rested his head in his palms. Love meant risking a lot. It meant he might get hurt, again. Would losing Addi to another man be worse than losing her because he couldn’t keep anyone?
His phone buzzed once more.
Addi: Goodnight, Drew. Sorry for having to put you off. It’s not you; I’ve just had a long day. Talk to you in the morning.
It’s not you. He read that little phrase over twice more. She hadn’t gotten or read the email yet. There was still time.
There was very little to look at as Addi walked to work while it was still dark, so she stared at her phone; namely, the last text Drew had sent.
Drew: All right. I’ll see you in the morning, beautiful.
After she’d gotten that text, she’d gotten an urgent email from someone at Betwixt2Hearts.com. They wanted to match her up with a local man who’d had a very bad first date. When she’d clicked on the link to find out who it was, she’d almost fallen out of bed.
Drew Tanner. The Drew Tanner she’d been talking to and praying about, the very same one who’d just called her beautiful by text. Was that what he wanted to talk to her about? Had he wanted to make sure she was okay with the match? Was that why he’d called her that? He never had before.
She’d taken extra time with her hair that morning. Her hair usually hung in soft curls, but not overly thick, around her shoulders. She could easily curl it into bigger curls which held all day, and that’s what she’d done. Since she worked with food, she still put it up in a ponytail, but this time she made sure it looked nice. She’d taken time with her clothes to make sure they matched and were as flattering as she could manage. Today just might be the day she’d been waiting for. Her mother had always said the worthwhile things were worth the wait and she’d had to wait for years and years for a great guy to walk into her life, but Drew was worth it.
She pushed open the back door to The Bean on Main. Liberty usually came in about a half hour after Addi, since she didn’t have a key and she stayed later. Kaylie sat on the little sofa, filing her nails.
“Oh, I was waiting for you to get here.” She indicated the chair Addi should sit in. “Don’t worry, I got everything set up for the day already.”
Kaylie hadn’t been there in so long, Addi had been sure she wouldn’t come back. Everything had run so smoothly―with sales up and people happy―that there hadn’t been any reason for her to come back.
“What’s going on?” Addi sat in the chair and wove her fingers together to keep from fidgeting.
“I’ve decided to give Drew another chance. The date wasn’t so bad, and he does have friends in the circle I want to break into.”
Addi’s heart sank to the floor. Drew had said the date was terrible, but only because of the way Kaylie acted. If she wanted to go out with him again, he would probably say yes.
“The problem is, the site asked me not to contact him after the feedback. They offered to set me up with someone else. I gave them the name of the man I wanted, but they said he wasn’t a member. When they tried to find someone else for me, they couldn’t find a match. I’m on a waiting list.”
Of course, the day she was certain would change the course of her luck forever wasn’t meant to be.
“What are you asking of me?” It wasn’t like Kaylie couldn’t just ask Drew. She had to have his number, and rules had never stopped her before. They had contacted each other for days before their date.
“I want you to set it up. If I call him, he won’t answer. I’ve already tried texting, and he ignored it. Oh, and I want you to make him want it. The date wasn’t great, but you can spin it to make it seem good, or at least that I deserve another chance.”
Liberty was right, Kaylie would never ask that of any of her other employees. She asked Addi because Addi was too nice to say no. Now was her chance to stand up for herself, to have a backbone as Liberty had suggested.
“I don’t want to do that to him. You had your chance, and you didn’t want it. You were mean, you lied to him.”
Kaylie glanced at Addi over her long fingernails. “Need I remind you that you and Liberty made a bunch of changes to my store without my approval. Your employment is at-will, and if you don’t do this for me, you can leave your address in the book where we can send your final check. That nasty little hole on the south side.”
Addi gripped her fingers tighter. She was barely making the rent as it was. One missed check and she’d be homeless. She couldn’t even put in two weeks’ notice because she couldn’t work two jobs and go to school, and a new job wouldn’t pay until she’d worked a full pay period.
“Fine. I’ll talk to him soon. But don’t expect results right away, this isn’t something I can just do.”
“I knew you’d see reason. Don’t take too long.” Kaylie picked up her phone and ignored Addi.
Liberty walked in smiling, and it faltered and died as soon as she looked at Addi. “What’s wrong?”
Kaylie stood and glared at Addi. “Nothing. I just missed Addi so much I had to stop by and say hi. Have a great day you two.” She grabbed her purse and left out the front.
“What was that all about? And why are you all dressed up?” Liberty came over and rested a hand on her shoulder. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
Addi’s insides trembled, and she wanted to run home, but that wouldn’t do any good. If she didn’t face the day, she couldn’t pay her bills.
“Kaylie wants me to get her another date with Drew. She’s changed her mind.” Just saying it out loud hurt. If there were an option to just quit and walk away, instead of doing this to Drew, she would.
“Tell her no. You aren’t her little toy to push around.” Liberty went over to the wall where all the aprons hung and slipped one over her head.
“I guess I am because she threatened to fire me if I don’t.”
Liberty whipped around to face her. “You’re serious?”
She blinked to keep the tears where they belonged, instead of running down her cheeks. “I’ve never been more serious. Maybe if I suspend my schooling right now, I could scratch by until I find another job. I just can’t take this anymore.”
“Honey, you let me handle this. I’ll talk to Drew when he comes in, you just stay busy back here. It’s inventory time anyway.”
“Ugh, I hate inventory.” She hated everything about The Bean at the moment, except Liberty and seeing Drew.
“Inventory will keep you from losing a job you need. You get busy, I’ll handle the floor.” She gave Addi a quick smile and left her in the back room to handle the work alone.
Drew watched Liberty help the last customer in a long line to pay for their coffee. She stared at him until the jingle above the door signaled they were alone, or at least it would seem that way. Addi hadn’t shown her face all day, despite telling him she couldn’t wait to see him and telling him she would talk to him. Liberty slid into the booth seat across from him, clutching a water bottle.
“So, how’s the dating scene?” She pegged him with her deep blue eyes.
“Uh,fine.” What was she up to? He never quite knew with Liberty.
“I heard that before I started, Kaylie tried to set you up with Addi.”
He sat back in his seat and recalled that conversation. It’s what had started his real friendship with Addi. “Yeah, she did.”
“What made you say no?” Liberty usually smiled, but not today. She was all business.
“At the time, I didn’t know her.”
“You didn’t know Kaylie, either, yet you were happy to get a date with her.” Liberty unscrewed the cap on her water and took a drink.
“Yes, but that was different. I was fairly sure I knew Kaylie. Now I can see, though, that the problem wasn’t either Kaylie or Addi, it was me.” At least Kaylie had seen him for what he was right away, no need to get any feelings involved.
“So, why don’t you give Addi that same chance?”
He couldn’t do that. If h
e did, he would get attached. Probably quickly, if their friendship was any indicator.
“But I like Addi as a friend.”
Liberty laughed, but her smile was still absent. “I’m her friend. As her friend, I’m asking you to take a risk. She’s worth it.”
A risk. He’d been thinking about risks just the night before. Was God trying to tell him something with the message from Betwixt, his vision of Addi leaving, and now Liberty?
“Okay, I’ll take her out. It isn’t like I haven’t spent time with her before.”
Liberty nodded. “Good. Do you need a refill?”
He glanced at the cup, and though it had been good, it wasn’t just as he liked it. “Only if Addi happens to be hiding in the back. I don’t know what she does to make it better than anyone else, but she does.”
Liberty laughed and grabbed his cup. “Sugar, I know exactly what she does. Hold on.”
She set his cup on the counter and pushed the door to the back room. A moment later, Addi came out, and the breath yanked right out of his lungs. She was amazing. She’d worn some stylish leggings and a flowy top that made her look curvier than he remembered. Her hair was in a loose ponytail and curled so that it just nipped her slender neck. He forced his jaw to close as she collected his cup and went over to the machines.
What had he been working on? He couldn’t remember, but he needed to look busy. He flipped through each of the tabs he had open on his computer, but none of them made any sense. Addi set his cup down on the table, and the aroma of the mint dislodged all the fog from his brain.
“Can I get you anything else?” she whispered, and he couldn’t figure out why. They were alone in the front window of the little coffee shop.
“Sit with me? Just for a minute?” He offered the open booth across from him.
