“Then as I was coming up to graduation, my dad made contact with me out of the blue. I hadn’t heard a word from him my entire life and it took a while but we connected. He was a military man through and through, and I was wrong about him, you know? I thought he had just abandoned my mom after she fell pregnant with me and I, but the reality of it was he knew nothing about me. We have a good relationship now, but he was discharged from the Marines about nine years ago on a substantial military pension because he retired as a high-ranking officer. Anyway, he gave me enough to start this diner and hasn’t wanted a cent in return. He’s now moved back to Europe, nearer his family. I never knew, but he’s originally from Germany, and I’ve been meaning to take a trip over there to see him, but things just keep getting in the way. He knows all about you, you know?” he said with a hint of a smile.
“Wow, just wow,” Emma replied and planted a soft kiss on the palm of one of his hands. “I’m stunned you have done all of this and you don’t know how many times the diner in New York kept me from losing my mind. You realize you have actually been there for me all these years and not known about it?” she said with awe.
“Well, I kind of know a bit. George and I go way back, but I’ll let him tell the story one day, its kind of his tale to tell. He has been my lookout for you over the years. Although he has no clue who you are to me.” He smiled. She returned his happiness as she pondered the conversation that they were bound to have with George at some point. “Anyway, that brings us to here. but I have huge plans for this place and I have been given the name of some hot shot New York branding lawyer who’s recently relocated to Edmond who might be able to help me,” he teased. Then he turned more serious and lowered his head as he admitted, “I saw you in Las Vegas. I was going to come and surprise you when I heard you were going to the conference. I had every intention of this big speech and asking you to help me then I saw you with Bruce and…” he hung his head in embarrassment, “well, I kind of got the whole wrong impression and assumed you were together.”
“Oh Charlie, you realize just how wrong you were?” she cried.
Chapter Thirty-One
“I remember arriving in Las Vegas feeling nervous. I knew I’d be seeing you there. That had been my plan all along after a friend had told me that you were the woman to speak to for franchising.” She blushed as he smiled at her.
“Anyway, I’d just gotten off the plane down and had a bit of time to spare. The cab seemed to take an age to get from airport, but I wasn’t meeting my marketing team until later that afternoon. I decided to head to do some shopping before heading to the hotel to check in. I was told that The Forum was the place to go for some serious retail therapy. I have to admit the window shopping was an experience,” he said as a grin spread across his face.
“I had travelled light, as I was only staying overnight so I asked the cab driver to head straight over there. I wanted to grab a couple of souvenirs for my mom and a few pieces to put in this diner.” He paused and pointed to a few items that Emma recognized from the gift shop in the hotel in Las Vegas.
“I had read about the shopping in the airline magazine I had read on the flight over and although I hadn’t fancied much sightseeing whilst I was there, I had wanted to see it. But you see, this was Vegas and most guys my age would be happy to be in, but like with everything else I do these days, my heart just wasn’t in it. I was only here because of the promise of a potential meeting with an up and coming New York branding associate who worked for the prestigious Jenson and Associates who I had been informed was attending the conference with his legal advisor.” He stopped again and flashed Emma another shy smile.
“Bruce and I? Wow,” Emma responded quietly.
“I was told it was a fantastic opportunity to test the water for helping to franchise my new concept. Plus, whilst I was there I hoped to take the opportunity to help scope out a couple of prime locations in Vegas.
“Anyway, I wandered through the shopping area, feeling pretty out of my depth. My hair was a mess and I was beginning to regret not shaving before my trip. I’d barely been anywhere beyond this diner. As I was wandering down the main shopping hall, I looked absentmindedly into each of the shop windows. I couldn’t ever think of spending the sort of money these stores charged. As I approached the Dior store, I was overcome with a sudden feeling of curiosity and stopped to glance into the shop.”
Emma gasped. “You were there. I swear I felt you there.”
“Yes, I was. My whole world stopped at the sight of you in that beautiful plum-colored dress. Then I saw him, the well-dressed gentleman who looked to be patiently waiting for you on the sofas outside the changing rooms. I swear the breath was knocked from my lungs when I saw what that gentleman was looking at. It was you, Emma. My Emma and you were standing there in an absolutely, devastatingly, beautiful dress, looking so much more amazing than I had ever remembered. It was as if the dress you were wearing was made for you. It clung to every curve and line of your perfect body. I was struck dumb at the vision. I had to stand and watch transfixed as the gentleman walked over other and my heart broke when I saw the tenderness with which he looked at you.” He paused, looking over at Emma with wide eyes, full of emotion. She took his hand over the tabletop and linked her fingers through his. Squeezing his hand, she urged him silently to continue,
“My heart broke even more as he gently reached up and stroked her cheek, causing her to flush slightly. You were there, in front of me for the second time in a few days.”
“A second time?” Emma asked, interrupting his story.
“Yes. I hadn’t seen you since the day a few years ago when I saw you in New York when I was looking at premises for M’s Place, but I hadn’t had the courage to approach you. But it looked like I was too late. You were obviously affected by this gentleman and I vowed never to intervene if you were happy
“I couldn’t believe my luck the other day when I had seen you for the first time in four years when you were sitting right there in my diner in New York, drinking the latte I had created for you.”
“That was you?” Emma exclaimed.
“Yes, again it was me.”
“Why didn’t you come out and speak to me? You had to know I was lonely and needed you,” she asked.
“I didn’t know it was you right until the last minute. George had said that he would love to introduce me to the lovely young woman who frequented his Upper West Side diner. I had been visiting to check on the accounts and help George out with some of the mandatory paperwork. I had intended to call in to the diner to say hello to the woman George persistently mentioned to me. I got as far as the door by the staff entrance about to go in and introduce myself when you sitting there distracted me. I froze and then bolted, and asked George to apologize to the young lady I had just stood up and offer her a free meal. I now realize that lovely young woman was you. I’m so sorry,” he said sadly.
“Don’t be, Charlie,” Emma replied beginning to get choked up.
“You don’t understand, Em, I’ve longed every day to be near you and when I had finally saw what an amazing young woman you had turned into, I was too cowardly to do anything about it.
“Watching you in Vegas was so painful. I reached out and touched the glass of the shop window before I turned and headed back to the hotel. It wasn’t too far so I decided to walk back to clear my head. I was late by the time I reached the lobby of the hotel and hurried down to the entrance of the conference center where the marketing guys I had employed were waiting for me. They advised me that Bruce Jensen was the guy I needed to seek out tomorrow and they confirmed that he had brought his legal adviser, Emma McKellan with him.
“I stopped and tuned them out after he said your name. You were not just a lawyer, but one whom people like me were seeking out. Then I saw you again, walking hand in hand with the same guy that you had been with in the Dior shop earlier. I knew I had to get out of there because I couldn’t stand the thought of you with someone else. I turned and saw tha
t you were looking right at me. I needed to get out of there and I can honestly say my heart broke when I glanced back and saw you walking into the aquarium, happily holding hands and chatting away. I had to get the hell out of Vegas before my heart finally broke into a million pieces.”
By now Emma was sobbing as she listened to his story. “I knew it was you,” she said. “I saw you, but didn’t recognize you properly because you had your hair long and a fair amount of facial hair going on, too, from what I remember.”
“Erm… yes, about that…” he stumbled, blushing slightly, “I kind of gave up on life for a while and just let things go a bit.”
“A bit?” she chuckled through her tears.
“If I told you the first time I shaved since I walked away was the same evening I saw you outside the diner here, would you believe me?” he admitted.
“No? Really?” Emma was now wide eyed.
“Yes. Really. Without you in my life, I saw no reason to make an effort anymore. Then when I saw you here, and realized you were back I hoped I might be able to see you again. I needed to pull my head from up my ass and sort myself out. The guys here wondered what the hell was going on when I walked in with a new hairstyle and no beard the day after.” He laughed as he spoke the last few words.
“Oh, Charlie, what did you do to us? Why did you let me go? I have spent so many years being so miserable without you and I waited for you, you know? You broke a big part of me when I got that letter and with everything that happened the year after you left, I nearly didn’t make it,” she choked out as the sobs took hold again.
“Emma, I really don’t know what to say. I was young and foolish, and I’ve hurt myself more that you would know, too. I have been incapable of loving anyone since and there will only be you. I hardened my own heart that day. I changed my mind, but you’d gone and with the chaos of the storm’s aftermath of the storm things were just out of control. I don’t know if your dad ever told you but I went to speak to him after you had left for university and I told him I wanted you to finish your degree. I was so proud that you went ahead without me. Then time just ran away from me and I was determined to be the man you deserved, but each time I was ready to come to you, things just got in the way. Then we find ourselves eight years down the line, and I just assumed when you didn’t come home that you had forgotten me.” He drew in a long breath and blew it out slowly as he rubbed his hands roughly up and down his face.
“Then I saw you with Bruce a few times and, well… you know…”
“Bruce has never been more than a business associate and now a good friend. Why did you think we were together? Oh, Charlie, we could have saved so much of this heartache if we had just talked.” She reached for his hand again and held on to it tightly.
“I hid the other day when I saw you in town. I watched you and Bruce as you were looking for offices. I couldn’t believe it when you headed right into the office block I had built after my first successful year of running M’s Place. The irony wasn’t lost on me,” he admitted.
“Wow. You own my office? How? What..?” Emma spluttered, visibly shocked at the revelations flooding from Charlie tonight.
“I do. I actually own a few properties round here. Including Harveys Toys store…”
“So that’s how you got the toys?” Emma suddenly realized.
“Yes. I didn’t know how to broach talking about things with you but along with a very successful chain of diners, and a couple of auto repair shops in town, I now own several of the prominent properties on Main Street. I have been growing my property portfolio recently adding Harvey’s toy store. I called him and offered him a rent-free period if he would trouble himself on Christmas Eve and help me help a friend in need. He jumped at the chance to drive back onto town and open up for me to collect the toys.” He looked sheepish as he confessed how he had managed to get to the toys.
“Charlie…” was all Emma could manage to say between the tears.
“Shh… its okay.” He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hands before continuing his story. “I couldn’t believe you were back in town and had been right there in front of me again, just across the street. My feet had turned to lead and I became rooted to the spot. I never knew what I’d do or say if the opportunity to speak to you ever came up. I had replayed that moment to over and over in my head but every time I saw you I just couldn’t speak. What would I have said, anyway? Sorry wouldn’t have been enough. I mistakenly thought I’d seen you happy and obviously with someone and made up my mind that it definitely wasn’t the time to be having that discussion.
“When you pulled into my lot that night I wanted to run to you and beg you to stay. It felt right having you here in your place, the place I had painstakingly built from the wreck of my Uncle Hank’s garage. I recall watching you driving away after my stubborn feet had let me down again. Then again it didn’t take much for me to notice that the vehicle you were driving had a couple baby seats strapped into the back.” He stopped to take a deep breath and stroke the back of Emma’s hands again with his thumbs.
“I literally broke again in that instant when I realized it was now too late. I wouldn’t be that man who broke up a family. I just had to be content that you were settled and happy now, with a family in tow. Maybe I could still watch you from afar and take solace in the fact that I had done the right thing in sending you away like I did. I knew the guy I’d seen you with, too. I had been taken by surprise when I saw you walking hand in hand down the hotel corridor and heading into the aquarium when I was in Vegas. You know I had tried to follow you, but had been told that you were being surprised with a private tour and the facility had closed to allow for that.” He signed, looking at Emma with such a pained expression on his face.
“I thought it was game over at that point. How could I compete with that? Then seeing you in town standing next to my truck with him again, how could I not think you were with him? You had both been laughing and joking around and were so easy in each other’s company. You know I had my truck lovingly repaired because of the memories I would always treasure.”
“That has to be the sweetest thing I’ve heard. I love that you’ve kept your truck, Charlie.” Emma said, not convinced that any of this would be relevant when she finally had her turn to tell him everything. For now she was happy just listening to his story, and pretending for a while that things might just work out for them.
“You know, Em, seeing you in the store with Adie and Leo was hard. Adie was so sweet. I hate to admit that I was relieved that the kids weren’t biologically yours. I have dreamed many times of having a beautiful little blonde-haired child with you and in some of the harder times in my past, this was all that had kept me going. I looked and looked but couldn’t see much resemblance to you in Adie’s tiny face and now I know why.”
“I wanted to kiss you so much that day and tell you everything, but I just needed to know why you never came for me. I am stupid though. I know I could have come back, but I need to tell you some things and I don’t think you are going to like what I have to say.” She sobbed.
“Shhh, sweetheart, I’m here and it’s going to take a lot to push me away again. I love you. I realized on Christmas Eve just what you still meant to me. I watched your patience with those adorable children and saw how they both love you. How could they not, though? Emma, you have blossomed into an amazing woman and you wouldn’t believe the regret that poured over me for the last eight years. I felt instantly guilty at spending these last few months wallowing in more self-pity that the average human would deal with in a lifetime. What you have sacrificed to give those children a loving home and a future, even though you are on your own, humbled me beyond words. You are so brave, so caring. It hit me just how selfish I had been by not swallowing my cowardice. I left you on your own and for that I am truly sorry but I’m here for you and those adorable infants, I want to be part of your future if you’ll let me? Please believe that.
“Did you realize you snore?” he said, trying t
o lighten the mood.
Wiping her eyes and blowing her nose, Emma laughed slightly. “I do not,” she protested.
“You do. On Christmas Eve I realized you’d fallen asleep on the sofa when I heard the cutest soft snores echoing across the room. The nicest feeling in the world was when I took you to your room and put you to bed.”
“I remember you telling me you loved me. I though that was a dream but when I woke yesterday to find your letter I knew I hadn’t dreamed it.” She confessed.
“I thought you’d heard me because you smiled in your sleep.”
“I did?” She raised her eyebrows.
“Yes, you did. And Emma just so you know for the last eight years, ten months and seventeen days – not that I was counting – my heart has been empty. I’m beginning to feel it filling up again, and that’s all down to you, sweetheart.”
Emma was totally blown away. She realized that at some point during his confession he had distanced himself from her. She understood, the magnetic pull of her soul to his growing too strong to resist, but they needed to clear the air before she would be ready to move on. She wanted to go and comfort him but there would be plenty of time for that later and she hoped he would be willing to stay with her tonight.
“I truly feel the same. I’m here now, and if after we’ve finished talking tonight, you still want me I’m yours,” Emma stated quietly as she looked up at him over the table. “I’m still confused as to why you were in Vegas, though? Why didn’t you come to New York and see me there?” she questioned.
“I had my reasons and if I’m being truthful I didn’t have a clue until that day it was you I was supposed to be meeting. It was neutral ground and I was going anyway to test the water with officially branding all this,” he gestured around the diner with his hands. “And I’d also been recommended this lawyer I needed to speak with and I was assured she would be attending the conference as a guest.” He half smiled and winked at her. “I still need help and would be honored if you’d do the work.”
Steeling My Haart Page 23
