The only thing I managed to catch was some bait. I sent a pic to Molly and she lost no time making fun of me. I settled back and let the stress just melt away as I downed a few beers and had some laughs with the boys.
It was way too peaceful to last. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I pulled it out for a look. Tapping on the picture message, what I saw made me curse. Mac and Mason both reacted in their creepy twin unison.
“Damn it! I said no cell phones.” Mason grumbled.
“You’re scaring the fish!” Mac growled.
One more look down at my phone and the calm I had been feeling evaporated like raindrops on a hot iron stove. Some cowboy hat wearing jackass was groping Molly’s rack while he scrawled something on a t-shirt she was wearing. I looked up at Mason and nodded toward shore.
“We’re leaving.”
“What?” Mason came over and looked at the phone. “Oh shit.”
Mac popped up and grabbed the phone.
“Oh for fucks sake! Tell me we are not going to need bail money just because some boy got fresh. Joe, she is more than capable than taking care of herself and she has your sister watching her back.” Mac demanded.
Mason looked between the two of us and moved back to the wheel without another word.
Nick and Graham joined us from the back. When I told them we were leaving Nick shrugged. “I probably need stitches.”
Mac reeled both of their lines in while Mason started the boat up and turned us back toward the dock. I knew that I shouldn’t be this pissed off, but after the bullshit at the laser tag place I was a little sensitive. For all I knew, this was the same asshole stalking her at the bars.
Having only had one beer, Mac was elected to be our designated driver. Mason flipped through his Facebook and chuckled, but it wasn’t a happy sound.
“Joe.” He held out his phone and with a sinking feeling, I snatched it from him. I saw a picture of Molly with some suit who appeared to be licking her neck. I could see the lime she held between her teeth and Robin’s caption explained it all.
BODY SHOTS, BITCHES!!!
Molly’s wide eyes seemed to imply she wasn’t enjoying it much. Knowing this didn’t really make me less angry.
“Mother fucker.” I muttered and Mason clapped me on the back.
“I think I’d better sit this one out if you’re going to Sixth.” Graham announced. We dropped him and Nick at their cars and headed toward downtown.
We pulled up in front of the bar they’d been in and before Mac could park, I hopped out and headed in the door. The bouncers didn’t give me a second glance. I was glad to see security had changed at Coyote Ugly since I had been there last. Not a huge surprise, bouncers have high medical bills, and I’d had a tendency to behave badly in those days.
I walked the length of the bar and found no sign of Molly or her group but luck was with me. I spotted Cowboy Hat near the door on my way back. Making my way over to him I tapped him on the shoulder.
“Hey hoss.” I barked over the obnoxious fiddle music. Swinging around he gave me the stink eye before turning back to the girl he was talking to. Tapping him a little more forcefully I fought to keep my temper. “Hey man, I’m looking for someone.”
Turning around the cowboy popped a finger up into the brim of his hat and gave me an annoyed look.
“Well, my name isn’t ‘hoss’ or ‘man’, asshole. So go look somewhere else.” He replied.
“I’m looking for the brunette you were pawing on earlier. The one with the tattoos.” The look of confusion on his face was comical then it melted into a creepy leer.
“Oh yeah! The bachelorette. She’s a hot piece of ass. Really nice tits.”
He was probably barely old enough to drink and it was the kind of stupid bullshit that people his age said to each other. But I’m not his age, and he wasn’t talking about someone unimportant. He was talking about my Molly, and no one disrespected her.
The cocky grin disappeared in a hurry when my fist smashed it right off his face. The place erupted around us as The Cowboy’s friends jumped in to help him out. One of them grabbed Mason and punched him hard enough to knock his hat off. Mac smashed the guy in return only to get blindsided by a chair someone threw from further back.
Things were spinning out of control quickly. Coyote Ugly is like that some nights. Mason grabbed Mac and fought his way back to me. Using the Cowboy as a human shield, I carved myself a path outside. Mac and Mason stayed close behind me keeping people from jumping on me from behind. Once outside, I dropped the guy, stepped on his hat, and headed off to the truck.
It didn’t help my mood when I got another picture showing another jerk-off spanking Molly’s ass. Resisting the urge to crush the phone in my hand, I looked over at the guys. Mac was sporting a good bruise on the entire left side of his head. Mason had blood dribbling down his chin and had hair going in every direction. His comb over was askew and his bald spot was much worse than the last time I had seen him without his hat. They both looked at me and the three of us burst out laughing.
“Damn, Joe,” Mason grimaced, wiping his mouth. “Keep this shit up and Robin will never let me go out with y’all.”
“I’m holding Robin partially responsible.” I shot back, but I had a hard time containing a smile. “She ought to know better than to send me these pictures.”
Mac pulled some baby wipes out of the console and handed them to Mason. This set us off in another round of laughter.
“Bad asses with baby wipes. Hell yeah!” Mac crowed.
“God, we are old.” I repeated Mason’s catchphrase and they both nodded.
“So are we still going ‘suit hunting’?” Mason asked, but his resigned sigh told me he knew the answer.
“These asshats had their hands and mouth all over my girl. Your sister. There are consequences to taking liberties with my fiancée.” I snarled.
The twins snorted.
“You sound like a homicidal extra from Downton Abbey,” Mac said with a grin.
“Since when do you watch that BBC shit?” Mason cocked an eyebrow at his twin.
“The fact that you know the name of that show means you can’t give me shit, bud.” I agreed.
Mac shrugged unapologetically.
“Kelly.” He offered in explanation. Suddenly his face transformed. “Speaking of which! I forgot to tell you about what happened when I spent the night last weekend.”
“Dude, we really don’t need a blow by blow.” I murmured. “Stay on Sixth. Look for the party bus.”
Stacy had posted some pictures of the group in front of a big silver bus. After seeing Robin’s posts on Mason’s Facebook, I thought I’d keep an eye on Tamryn, Stacy, Kelly, and Robin’s news feeds. Sooner or later one of them would check in somewhere. I hated Facebook, but thanks to Nick using it for the business, both Francis and I had learned way more about it than we’d ever wished to know.
“No.” Mac rolled his pale eyes and for a minute he looked so much like Molly it was scary. “I stayed the night and yeah, it was unbelievable...but that’s not what I wanted to tell you about, you jackasses. I fell asleep at her place and when I woke up all I could think about was Francis seeing my truck outside when he sat down to drink his morning coffee.”
“Yeah.” I winced, considering how much of a mistake it had been to rent my old place to Francis’s daughter. She was a great tenant and always paid rent on time, but having her across the hall from her dad knowing that she was dating Mac was a recipe for disaster.
“So I grabbed my stuff and tried to sneak out without making a sound. I was pulling her door closed when I heard Francis’s door open behind me.” Mac raced on, talking with his hands in true Hildebrandt fashion.
“Oh shit.” Mason murmured, and Mac nodded. I whipped my head in Mac’s direction.
“I thought I was about to get shot. I spun around, ready to beg for my life and you’ll never fucking guess who I see standing there!”
We both gaped at him, waiting for the twist.
/>
“That redhead from the homeless shelter.” He exclaimed, popping a cigarette into his mouth. “Looking like she’d been up all night rolling in the hay, so to speak.”
“No way.” I exclaimed, smirking a little at the thought of Francis making time with someone I’d drooled over as a kid.
“Seriously. She was wearing a silky green robe like a Bond girl.” Mac lit his smoke. “So there I am, no shirt, shoes in my hand staring at this woman like a teenager caught red-handed. That’s when I realize...she’s looking at me with the exact same expression on her face.”
“What’d you say?” Mason asked, and his phone chimed loudly.
“Mornin’.” Mac shrugged and flicked his ashes out the cracked window.
“And?” I asked. “What’d she say?”
“Good Morning.” He replied, doing a phone sex voice that sounded a lot like Beverly Campbell. “Then she snatched up the morning paper and went right back into Francis’s place. I decided it’d be a while before Francis came up for air, so I said ‘fuck it’ and went back in to wake Kelly up the old fashioned way.”
“Holy shit.” Mason said, and I looked in the rearview mirror and saw him staring at his phone. I took it from him when I saw his face go pale. I looked back through the last two posts from Robin. One was of Mac’s ex hugging Molly who looked like she was motor boating a pair of the fakest boobs I’d ever laid eyes on.
“When did Patrón get the double d’s?” I joked, but as soon as I saw the next picture I choked off my laugh. It was a picture of one of my least favorite people, Bethany, spread eagle against a cop car. In the next picture, she was on the ground with Taser spikes sticking out of her tight white dress. I could see Molly’s friend Jay photobombing in the background. Robin had captioned the picture ‘Karma’s a bitch, but you’re a bigger one!’“
I shook my head and ran my hand over my face. Bethany was bad news and the thought of her in the same bar with Molly was disturbing. Thankfully, Robin had specified that they were at a bar called CU29. I pulled up the map and gave Mac turn by turn directions. As we made our way up the block toward the destination, we saw the silver bus pulling away.
“Follow that bus.” Mason shouted theatrically as if we were in some old movie.
We pulled into a residential neighborhood and I saw four middle-aged woman hurry to the bus as if they were escaping a natural disaster. I was out of the truck and nearing the party bus when both twins flanked me.
“Joe.” Mason’s tone was cautionary.
“You can’t go to jail tonight. I promised the kid I wouldn’t let it happen.” Mac finished his thought.
“Relax.” I replied. After seeing the pictures of Bethany that Robin posted, I was more concerned than pissed. However, if I found a straight man anywhere on the bus, I couldn’t be held responsible for my actions.
The bus driver was ushering the last of the cougars onto the bus when I appeared at the bottom of the stairs.
“Private party.” He insisted.
“We’re here to give a lap dance to the guest of honor.” I replied. For a minute, I think he thought I was serious, but when he took in Mason and Mac’s wounds, he frowned.
“Don’t make me call the cops.” The driver sighed.
“Go ahead and call them.” I shrugged, then I raised my voice to a cheer. “Someone’s been disturbing the peace on this bus!”
As expected, whoops and laughter erupted from inside the bus and Mason and Mac looked at me like I was mad.
“Just go with it.” I smirked and started up the stairs. “Who’s getting the first lap dance?”
At the top of the stairs, I whipped off my hat. Molly’s slutty cousins cheered, along with some middle aged women I’d never seen before. Everyone else froze. I recognized Stacy’s mom, who smiled at me and pointed to my left.
I turned to see Molly wedged against the window of the bus by the mop-headed businessmen whose paddling hand had him on my most wanted list. I was envisioning ripping him out of the bus by his meterosexual hair, when my eyes locked on Molly’s. She had a beer bottle halfway to her lips and the smile that bloomed on her face when she saw me was like the sunrise after a long, stormy night.
“Hey, baby!” She cheered, shoving her beer bottle at the dude beside her and clambering to standing. I stepped into the aisle next to her seat, towering over the curly haired guy that looked as if he might wet himself. Molly stood on her seat and hurled herself into my arms. I caught her and her legs cinched around me as she kissed me like I’d been away on the front lines. The cheers of her friends echoed in the tiny space around us.
“That’ll be enough of that shit!” Mac blurted and Molly reluctantly broke off the kiss.
“Sorry to crash your party. I saw some of your shenanigans on the internet and wanted to be sure you were still in one piece.” I said, moving back in for another kiss.
“Get me out of here.” She whispered her eyes pleading like a heroine in some horror movie.
“Why waste a perfectly good designated driver?” I smiled, and then glared over her shoulder at The Spanker, who seemed to be searching for an emergency escape route. “We’ll definitely need to change the seating arrangements though.”
He got up, and his eyes never left mine as he scurried into the aisle to join his friend who sat kicked back between the slut sisters. I recognized him as the guy who’d done the body shot with Molly. Doing his best Hugh Hefner, he had his arms around both of Molly’s cousins and a cigar clamped between his teeth. He looked so ridiculous that I figured just being him was punishment enough.
“Mason! Get that ass back here and make use of this pole.” Robin called and with the cockiest smirk I’ve ever seen, Mason lumbered past us nearly knocking us into the seat.
“Prepare to be amazed, ladies!” Mason called.
Mac wasn’t far behind and I quickly placed Molly on her feet as he passed by. Mac slid into the seat next to Kelly, and Dan passed around bottles of beer and hard liquor.
“Breeders.” Jay huffed, shaking his head. Can’t even stand to be away from each other for one whole evening.” Looking back at him, I was surprised to see Jay blanch as if he’d seen a ghost. I turned to follow his horrified gaze, and saw Mason’s hat had fallen off again. “By the tits of Judy Garland. Mason! What happened to your hair?”
“Joseph, look at the time! It’s almost eleven o’clock. You’re going to be late.” Mom scolded as she opened her front door to let me in. I held the door with my hip as I balanced Logan’s car seat with him still strapped into it.
“Shit.” I exclaimed, and my mother shot me a dirty look as if my eight month old son would be corrupted by my bad language. “I mean shoot.”
It was the morning of my wedding and for the second time, I was going to be late to pictures. Molly had insisted on spending the night before apart, so I’d kept Logan at home with me and she’d taken Eva and stayed at Tamryn’s. It made sense; she had to be at The Salt Lick earlier to decorate and meet her stylist to get beautified for pictures. Tamryn lived much closer to the location than we did.
Logan had a restless night. After he woke me up twice, I took him into my bed for the rest of the night. At one point, he flipped sideways and kicked me full on in the face. Not a nice way to wake up. I suddenly had a lot of sympathy for Eva and was glad they were now sleeping in separate cribs. After checking to be sure he didn’t leave a mark on my face, I settled back into bed. I started getting nervous and excited about the wedding and I had trouble falling back to sleep.
When my alarm went off on my phone, I thought I’d hit snooze, but I must have shut it off. I overslept, and I had to shave and get Logan ready before I could get him to my parents’ place. I still had to get out to Driftwood, which was at least thirty minutes from my parents’ driveway, and then I still had to change. Overwhelmed and frazzled, I texted Molly.
Overslept. Just leaving Mom and Dad’s now.
More than ever, I admired Molly for how easily she handled both babies all alone ever
y day.
“Bye bye, little man.” I whispered, kissing Logan on the cheek and the top of his head. I passed him to my mother’s waiting arms. My phone chaboodled, and I spared it a glance.
This is Jay. Molly’s getting into her dress. She told you to be here an hour early just to be on the safe side. She knows you well. Drive safely, Future Mr. Molly.
“We’ll see you in a couple of hours, son!” My mother called after me as I raced out the door.
Twenty seven minutes later, I zoomed passed the entrance to The Salt Lick and pulled into the gravel parking lot of Pecan Grove. As I skidded to a stop, I saw Graham sitting on the porch in his tux nursing a beer. I waved and jumped down from the truck.
‘There’s the man of the hour.” He called out. “Long night?”
“You don’t know the half of it.” I replied, striding purposefully toward the stone cottage which I remembered from the tour was where we were meant to change. I looked around for my bride, even though I knew she’d be pissed if she caught me. Her dress was a total mystery, and I was dying to steal a glance.
“You’re all clear.” Graham read me fluently. “Molly’s already down by the creek with the bridesmaids. She looks beautiful.”
I nodded, not even trying to hide my smile. “You got the rings?”
He sniffed. “I only have two jobs. I have no intention of fumbling either one of them.”
I’d some concerns about choosing Graham as my best man. First and foremost, I’d been afraid that I’d hurt Mason’s feelings. He’d been my best man the first time around, but things had changed since then. When I’d lost myself, it’d been impossible for Mason to reach me. He tried...God, how he tried. Mac too, in his own way. But they didn’t have any better luck than Tamryn did.
No matter who approached me, I just lashed out or shut down. In the end, Graham reached me by not trying to reach me. Instead, he called me and offered me a job. When I inevitably fucked it up, he shook his head, took the heat for it and just let me be for a bit. But he always called me again. As soon as whatever boneheaded thing I had done had died down, he somehow got me more work.
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