by Shey Stahl
“Daddy?” Jack asked just as I was shutting off the light.
“Yeah, bud?”
He paused, probably deciding on how he wanted to ask his next question. “Can I…come with you to the west coast this year?”
“I’ll talk to your mom about it.”
Jack loved traveling with us, and now that he was going to be starting school again, it wasn’t going to be easy. I guessed maybe, in some ways, he wanted to get in the most time he could this season.
WHEN I WENT BACK downstairs, Arie was at the table with Jackie, deep in conversation about her and Easton, I assumed.
“So you’re taking fertility drugs then?”
Arie shrugged. It was obvious this was the last thing she wanted to be talking about. “Just these pills that make me ovulate. We’ve been trying since December.”
Just as she and Jackie started talking about it, Rager walked into the kitchen and heard “trying since December” and walked right back out.
He walked away a lot these days.
Jackie noticed, smiled tenderly at Arie and then excused herself. “I think it’s time I headed to bed. You kids help yourself to anything.”
I smiled at Jackie when she walked by. She reached out and touched the side of my face. “Such a sweet boy you have. I miss having little ones around.”
Rager was an only child. Not by choice, since his parents tried to have more kids but couldn’t. I assumed Jackie understood a bit of Arie’s frustration with not being able to get pregnant.
Arie remained at the table, staring at the glass of water in her hand. “How’s E?” I took a seat at the table beside her.
“Axel…” Her sigh said a lot, but so did the roll of her eyes.
“No, I want to know. I’m not trying to be a jerk. He’s doing well in the championship this year, right?”
She rolled her eyes. “He’s fine.”
“But you’re here.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement.
“I want to be with you guys.”
“And him?” She knew exactly who I was referring to. “You know it’s hard on him.”
“I know.” Her eyes went to the drink in her hands. “What am I supposed to do? It’s not like I meant for any of this to happen.”
“For what to happen?”
“Him being in love with me.”
I kicked her leg lightly. “Yes, you are.”
“Shut up, Axel. You’re around Olivia and we all know how she feels about you. And you flirt with her, too.”
She had me there. “It’s not about me.”
Willie gave Arie a nod when he walked into the kitchen with just a pair of shorts on, rubbing his belly. Willie wasn’t overweight by any means, but you could tell beer was his favorite meal. “Where are you sleeping tonight?”
He was referring to himself, again, kind of, but I knew by the rush of pink to her face that she automatically assumed it was a low blow at her and Rager.
I looked at Willie, shook my head, and set my empty beer in the recycle bin. “She’s going to kick your ass.”
Though Willie was thirteen years older than Arie, he still teased her. “I’m looking forward to it.” Then he gave Arie a suggestive nod.
She kicked his shin. “You’re such a jerk!”
The problem we saw with Arie sleeping in the spare bedroom was that it was right across the hall from Rager’s bedroom.
Tommy tossed fifty bucks on the table. “Fifty says she doesn’t stay in the room.”
Who knew if she would or not, but I wasn’t going to worry about it.
Casten reached for the money. “You’re on.”
With his eyes on the hallway, Willie smiled. “How long before they start fucking?”
Casten and I both shook our heads at them making bets and Tommy threw another twenty on the table, which Casten immediately pocketed. “They’ve already started if you ask me.”
Casten and I knew Arie wouldn’t still be with Easton if that had happened. Our family had more morals than to be cheating on spouses, but it didn’t stop the drama that seemed to follow those three. Not after last year when they had whatever it was they had.
Axel
Packing the track – this process takes place during engine heat, when the cars make pace laps on the track to help pack in the clay for a better racing surface.
WEEKS PASSED AND there seemed to be a light at the end of the tunnel for my packed schedule. It was late July and we were days away from the start of Knoxville Nationals in Iowa. With my attention on that, I wasn’t around much after we returned from Lernerville. That meant Jack was on his own to get ready for the start of his event in Cerro Gordo.
Growing up, I traveled around with my grandpa and when I raced USAC, I was with Ryder Christensen a lot, or Tommy. One of my parents was always at my races though. Which meant my mom became pretty handy working on cars.
Though Jack had only been competing a year, Lily was the same. She was always with Jack at his events. Justin had retired from racing full time and did a lot of traveling for Jack’s races, too. He loved it.
There were times when I honestly felt like I wasn’t even needed there. And times when I felt like they were making a life without me.
Didn’t matter, I still went when I could.
Since he was almost seven, I had a feeling we wouldn’t be able to keep him in a quarter midget much longer. Had there not been an age restriction, he would have been in a full-sized midget by now.
It wasn’t easy missing that race at Cerro Gordo Speedway because I was in New York racing at Fulton Speedway and he was in Illinois with Lily and Justin.
It also wasn’t easy that Justin was showing him how to race. It should have been me doing that.
The last night of the event I was in Fulton, New York, about halfway through the heats, when I received the text from Lily that Jack had just broken their track record for quarter midgets at Cerro Gordo.
I remember trying to break that record myself. Hundreds of others have tried, too, but had yet to break it. The same driver had held it for nearly thirty years.
My dad. Jameson Riley.
Dad nudged my side and pointed at his phone when he received the text from my mom. “Look at that.”
I could hardly wait to talk to him about it that night. It made me sad, being unable to see his face when he took off the helmet. I wanted to see those bright blue eyes and that contagious smile when he saw what he had done.
Dad stood up beside me when his heat was about to begin. “Looks like I may need to get back in a quarter midget.” He teased, reaching for his helmet.
Casten walked by, hearing this piece of the conversation. “Your old ass wouldn’t fit.”
Dad kicked his leg out when Casten moved beside him to trip him, only Casten was faster and jumped over it. “See what I mean? You’re too slow.”
I knew I needed to get in the car, but I wanted to call Lily so badly right then so I could hear from Jack. There was a moment there, when I hesitated between my obligations here, my want to be here racing and my desire to be a dad who was around his son more than once a week.
The horn sounded in the pits, our eight minute warning to get in the cars. Dad could see my hesitation and tipped his head. “Call him.”
Smiling, I pocketed my cell phone and jogged to the one spot I knew I could hear him, inside the hauler. Lily must have known I was going to call and had Jack answer the phone.
“Daddy, I did it!” His excitement brought tears to my eyes. I wanted, no, I needed to see his face right then.
“Hit the FaceTime button, bud.”
He did and I was granted what I needed. Jack’s face was flushed, eyes wide with exhilaration that he just did what hundreds of people had been trying to do. “I did it!” he said again, in disbelief. “Can you believe it?”
“I can,” I assured him. “I knew you would do it.”
It was hard to get another word in with him; we were both being pulled in different directions, but at that
moment, just those few seconds of seeing his face were worth it.
BEFORE WE KNEW IT, the summer was coming to an end. August rolled around. Baseball for Jonah had wrapped up and we were having Jack’s seventh birthday party. It was still hard to watch him that morning knowing he was another year older. My little guy, who followed me everywhere, was growing up. Soon he wouldn’t want to follow me around.
Kids’ birthday parties were crazy at our house. Not only did we have large families, there was always drama of some sort. This year it was Brody and Spencer arguing. It was rare the Cup series had an off weekend in the middle of the summer, but they had one this weekend which meant the crowd was twice as large and twice as elaborate. Jack was pleased because that meant extra presents for him.
But this also meant Spencer and Brody had to put up with one another.
So Uncle Spencer had just now found out that Lexi was pregnant. Again.
Wyatt was only three months old. It was like they waited the mandatory six weeks and just got busy.
Spencer?
Yeah, not pleased.
Dad had to step in between them at one point. “Come on, it’s Jack’s birthday. Lighten up.”
Spencer glared, grumbled something and walked the other way.
Shaking my head, I had to laugh. It was always this way.
I was tending to the burgers and watching poor Hayden argue with Gray, who absolutely refused to one, put on her floaties, and two, let her apply sunscreen to her skin.
I heard a screech to my left—Abigale’s high pitched giggle—and saw her running toward Rager when he arrived.
Abigale, Lane’s daughter, never left Rager’s side when he was around. Since he stayed with Lane and Bailey so much, Abigale had developed a little crush on him. Watching him with her it was apparent he’d make a great father someday. If only he would move on from Arie then maybe he could have that. I wasn’t sure it would happen.
Rager came over to say hello as I stood at the grill. We talked about racing a little and then he grew distracted by who was here. Easton. He and Arie were playing with the kids in the water and my sister was wearing a bikini. Rager’s attention was on them for a moment then he handed me a present for Jack, shook his head and looked over at me. “Tell Jack I said happy birthday.”
“You okay?”
He shrugged. “Yeah…just can’t be here for this. See ya in a few days.”
Arie watched him walk away, the action seemed painful then went back to her water fight with the boys.
The party was your typical birthday party with a bunch of wild seven-year old boys, loud and hyped-up on sugar.
But amongst all that was Gray Riley, the only granddaughter my parents had, bossing everyone around and rolling her eyes if you talked to her.
Gray, being two and a half, could talk. It was good that she could finally tell you what she wanted, but bad in the sense that she was constantly telling you off.
Much like Hayden. If she had something to say, she was going to say it.
“Asshole!” Gray screamed at Tommy when he took the pacifier from her as he walked by. Everyone tried to get her to give that thing up, but she wasn’t having it.
I looked at Casten who stopped and stared at his little girl. “Did she just call him an asshole?”
He frowned. “Appears that way.”
Tommy shook his head handing the binkie to Casten, afraid to give it to Gray. “Toddlers are fucking scary.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” I remarked, adjusting the temperature on the grill when I noticed the burgers were getting a little too done.
“Are you guys going to have more kids?” Arie asked Hayden and Casten, entertained by Gray giving Hayden the business for not handing over a cupcake she insisted was hers.
Arie was teasing them because we all knew Hayden’s theory on having more kids. Believe me, we all knew.
“No. We’re not.” Hayden was hell bent on never having any more kids, but I had a feeling someday that would change. Casten could be convincing and he wanted more.
When I had the food under control, I took a moment to look around. I enjoyed cooking at birthday parties because it allowed me a little peace in the madhouse that was a child’s party.
My boys grew up on the lake and even Jacen, at two, knew how to swim, so it seemed only natural to have a pool party.
Casten wanted to have it at his house, but Lily put a stop to that immediately. “No way,” she said when he brought it up again at the party. “You have a dick on the bottom of your pool.”
Casten didn’t seem concerned at all. “No one would know.”
“Bullshit.” I laughed, took a drink from my beer and reached for the spatula to turn the burgers. “You can see it when you fly over your house.”
Hayden stopped trying to put sunscreen on Gray and stood. “You can?”
Willie approached, beer in hand and hugged Hayden to his side. “You sure can.”
Jack appeared at our feet, dripping wet and holding Jonah’s hand. “Daddy, Casten told me not to sweat the petty stuff…to pet the sweaty stuff. I don’t want to pet anything sweaty.”
Casten looked over at me. “I’m gonna go now.”
I reached out and smacked the back of his head. “You should.”
He didn’t though; instead, he took off his shirt intent on going swimming. Jack was distracted trying to push Casten in the pool, thankfully, and I didn’t have to explain what the fuck sweaty stuff meant because I didn’t think I could have done that one.
Casten usually walked around without a shirt on. Recently, he’d been getting tattoos. His arms had quite a few, as well as his chest now. One in particular was fairly new. I’d never seen it before. Tommy, Cole and Arie, who were sitting by the grill on the patio, stared at his newest addition.
Right below his belly button and the lines of his hips was “Don’t Laugh”.
Arie shook her head. “You’re an idiot.”
Tommy squinted at Casten’s stomach, read the words again, probably trying to make sure he read it correctly. “Have you had anyone laugh, yet?”
Casten chuckled, rubbing his stomach and suggestively winked with a nod south. “I did, once, and then I squirted her in the eye.”
Have I ever mentioned that Casten could make anyone blush? Anyone.
Cole made a face, a confused one. “With that?”
No one answered. You’d think Cole would have caught on, but he didn’t.
I didn’t think Jack heard any of that, but he did and looked up at Cole with curious eyes. “Maybe he had a squirt gun.” And then stared at Casten. “Did you?”
Casten’s grin widened. “We all got squirt guns, buddy.”
He tipped his head to the left, confused. “We do?”
“Casten, shut up!”
Tommy quirked an eyebrow at Hayden, who had finally given up trying to get floaties on Gray, and just put a life jacket on her. “You didn’t have pink eye a couple weeks back, did you?”
Hayden knew exactly what he was referring to and glared, poking him in the chest with her finger. “Shut up, Tommy.”
He did. He wasn’t one to push the issue with Hayden. No one was.
AS THE DAY PROGRESSED, Spencer and Brody thankfully stayed away from one another and it looked like there wasn’t going to be a lot of drama, or a fistfight.
Looking around the party, I noticed my brother seemed to be up to something. He was pacing and watching the driveway and Casten doesn’t pace. But then I thought, when isn’t Casten he up to something?
Dad glared at him and came to stand by me. “Why are you smiling? What did you do?”
Casten pointed at himself. “Who, me? I didn’t do anything. Why don’t you ask Tommy?”
Dad began to panic, his eyes shifting around the party searching for his orange-haired friend. “Where is he?”
Casten motioned with a head nod behind him. “In the house. He got you a present. Left it in the front seat of your truck.”
Dad took off
toward the driveway, grumbling, with about five other people wanting to see what Tommy had done. And then we heard the laughter.
I gave Casten a smile. “What’s in there?”
He sighed, content and wrapped his arm around Hayden. “A stuffed cougar.”
“Where did he find one, the zoo?”
“No, he had someone find it.”
I doubted that.
Hayden snorted and glanced down at her toe. “Yeah, sure he did.” And then the anger rose. “I bet the fucker paid his “friend” and he went to the zoo. Kind of like that fucking snake.”
Hayden refused to let anyone forget about Tommy putting a snake in Casten’s truck and it biting her.
Just like Tommy refused to let Dad forget his fear of cougars.
Or dad refusing to let Emma forget she stabbed him with a fork twenty-some years ago.
Our family seemed to hold grudges. It was all a lot of “never” forgetting.
Mom walked back, smiling, barely able to control her laughter. “That thing is surprisingly real. I mean, its eyes are even open.”
Hayden shrugged off Casten’s arm. “I gotta see this shit,” and then walked out the gate to the driveway, along with Lily and Emma.
“Where the fuck did Tommy go?” Dad asked, pissed.
Casten was bent over laughing. He couldn’t respond so I pointed toward the pool where Tommy was laying on a raft in the middle, drinking a beer with his Top Gun sunglasses on, completely oblivious to the world around him.
Dad, fully clothed, launched himself into the pool and landed right on Tommy’s stomach.
Willie appeared out of nowhere and stood next to me, his shorts hanging exceptionally low that I knew had he bent over, he’d probably be able to apply for a plumber’s license.
“Where did you get it?” I asked, knowing he was in on that. He was probably the one who discreetly placed it in the truck.
Willie shrugged and helped Tommy from the pool. Mom had to distract dad because he was ready to fight Tommy over that one.
