When August and the boys returned from washing up, Beth allowed August to seat her while the boys scampered into their assigned places.
“Who wants to say grace?” Beth questioned.
“I will!” Gerald said enthusiastically.
“All right, Gerald,” Beth nodded in agreement. “You go right ahead.”
“God, this is Gerald again,” the boy began. “I sure do like living in Alaska ’cause You sent us a lot of great people and we’re having fun here. God, Mommy told me to pray about a daddy for Phillip and me, so I’m praying about it. I like August, God, and I really want him to be my daddy. So if it’s okay with You, me and Phillip will take him. Amen.”
“What about the food, son?” August questioned softly, noticing that Beth’s head was still bowed.
“Oh yeah,” Gerald said and quickly bowed his head again. “Thanks for the food, God. I really like fish. Amen.”
August was grinning when Beth raised her gaze to meet his. She grew more beautiful with each passing day, and August heartily agreed with Gerald’s prayers that they become a family.
Beth handed Phillip’s plate to August. “If you would serve the salmon,” she motioned, “I would appreciate it.”
August nodded and filled the plates as they were passed to him. He liked acting as the head of the family, and he enjoyed the warmth and comfort of the company he kept.
Supper passed much too quickly. “I suppose I should be going,” August said, getting up. Beth’s roadhouse was set up so that the ten boarding rooms all faced north or west and had individual entrances facing the outside.
“Can’t he read us a story?” Gerald asked with pleading eyes.
“Please?” Phillip questioned.
“That’s up to August,” Beth said as she began to gather the dishes. “It’s all right with me, August, if you want to read to them.”
“I’d be happy to,” August said, grateful for the excuse to remain close at hand. He followed the boys down the hall to their bedroom, giving Beth a quick smile over his shoulder.
Beth felt her pulse quicken. What would it be like to have August join her for the evening every night after putting their children to bed? It had been so long since she’d known the warmth and comfort of a man’s company. Was it wrong for her to think of such things?
“Well, that didn’t take long,” August said as he came into the kitchen. “They’re nearly asleep.”
“Thank you for everything,” Beth said, and tried to think of how she could express her gratitude for August’s indulgence of their fatherly references. “I appreciate your patience with them. I’ve asked them not to call you Daddy,” she paused, embarrassed as she remembered Gerald’s prayer. “But they love you so much.”
“I’m sure that they loved their father a great deal. They’re just showing me what they can’t show him.”
“It’s more than that. JB was a soldier first. He was so bent on serving his country and being a hero,” Beth said as she finished drying the dishes. She didn’t see August bite his lip at her words.
“Don’t get me wrong,” she said, turning to face him. “JB was a good man and a fine father. He loved children and we were planning to have a half a dozen or more, but his need to serve someone else or something else took him away from us. I don’t blame him or resent him for his decision, but I don’t think I’ll ever understand the feelings that drive a man to leave his family and die a world away from those who love him.”
“It’s a powerful drive indeed,” August said softly. “I’m sure JB felt proud, and in his heart he knew that he was offering his children the best he had. He gave his life that others might live free.”
“Much like Christ gave His life for us,” Beth said, startling August.
“I suppose that’s true,” he agreed. “If Christ felt it necessary to come on our behalf and give His life, then maybe you can understand JB’s desire to offer what he could for those he loved.”
“Maybe you’re right,” Beth said as she considered August’s words. “Jesus certainly loves us more than we can comprehend.”
August looked uncomfortable, so Beth decided to say no more. “I’d better go,” August finally said. “I’ll have to be up pretty early, so don’t worry about breakfast. I’ll get something in town.”
“All right,” Beth said and watched as August walked quietly from the house. She whispered a prayer that August would find a way through whatever problem was causing him to feel alienated from God’s peace.
August made his way to his room. Even though it was still light outside and would be for many hours, August closed the heavy shutters and prepared for bed. It was warm enough that he wouldn’t need to light the stove.
He lay awake for a long time, thinking about the things Beth had said and how she constantly tried to steer him back to God. His conscience bothered him as he thought of the truth that he continued to deny.
God clearly wanted his attention, but August wasn’t inclined to let go of his bitterness. God still hadn’t listened to the desires of August’s heart, and because of that, August questioned what purpose faith served.
As he drifted into a fitful sleep, August remembered how his inability to get into the army brought him to both his important job with the highway and Beth Hogan. One door had closed while another had opened and shown him a new way of life. But where did God fit in?
Chapter 7
With the boys busy playing in the backyard tree house, Beth took a moment out of her morning chores to enjoy a hot cup of coffee and a letter from her friend, Karen Sawin.
Karen shared bits of information, including the news that her husband had suffered an injury and was being sent home. Beth wished she could be there to help her friend, but travel was nearly impossible because of the war.
Reading on, Beth was glad to learn that the family who’d purchased her home was being blessed with yet another child and had plans to build onto the house in order to accommodate the addition.
Finishing the letter, Beth noted the fear and apprehension that Karen expressed as she awaited her husband’s return. Beth whispered a prayer for her friend as she refolded the paper.
Setting the letter aside, Beth picked up a pad and pencil and scratched out a reminder to write to Karen at the first possible moment. She knew Karen would need all the encouragement she could get.
Beth glanced out the window to make certain the boys hadn’t fallen out of the tree. She had faced the tree house with fear, but August had convinced her that boys needed such things. Who was she to argue with his wisdom? Giggles filtered down, assuring Beth that nothing was amiss.
Back at the table, Beth sipped weak coffee and tried to plan out the rest of the day. She jotted notes about lunch and supper, but inevitably her mind returned to thoughts of August. She could picture him standing in the yard playing with her children or chopping wood. He was an appealing man with a handsome face and a gentleness that she’d rarely seen in others. Her feelings for him were growing, but she knew he was troubled about God.
What was it that had hurt August so much that he couldn’t deal with God? Beth contemplated that question as she continued to enjoy the quiet.
“Beth?” August called from the front room.
Beth glanced at her watch and then at the clock on the wall. It was only nine o’clock. What was August doing back at this hour?
“In here,” Beth called and got to her feet. August came through the kitchen door with a worried look on his face. “What is it?” Beth questioned, knowing that August had something to tell her.
“You’d better sit down,” August said and pulled the chair out for Beth.
“What is it?” Beth repeated the question.
“What I’m going to tell you has to be kept secret, at least until you read about it in the newspapers.”
“I don’t understand,” Beth said, and felt her stomach knot.
“You know why the highway was planned, don’t you?”
“Sure,” Beth replie
d. “The government felt it was important to have an emergency road in order to get supplies through.”
“That’s right,” August said. “Well, now we may very well need the road.”
“Why?” Beth questioned. “What’s happened?”
“This is the part you mustn’t tell anyone. The army took us into their confidence this morning. The Japanese have attacked the Aleutian Islands,” August announced.
“The Aleutians? But that’s less than six hundred miles away,” Beth said as the color drained from her face. “Dear Lord, preserve us.”
“Look, Beth, the Aleutians are a long ways off. We’re safe here, but the road project has been stepped up. We’ve got work to do and not much time to do it in. The troops are holding the Japanese back, but it’s critical we get this road through.”
Tears filled Beth’s eyes. “Are we really safe? I mean, are you sure?”
August saw the tears and heard Beth’s voice tremble. He got up and put his hands on her shoulders just as she broke down.
“I can’t bear it, August. I can’t stand the fear, the worry. I have children whose safety depends on me. I just can’t bear the thought of the enemy storming in here and, and …” Beth’s sobs filled the air.
“Don’t torture yourself, Beth. We really are safe. After all, there are more than ten thousand soldiers in Alaska and Canada. There’s more than enough manpower here to keep us safe.”
Beth pushed away from August and got to her feet. “We probably had thousands of men in the Pacific as well. If men are so capable, why are we at war?”
“We’re at war because we have to fight to keep free of dictators like Hitler and Mussolini, as well as military monsters like Tojo. Beth, please don’t cry. Everything will work out. You’ll see. Just have a little faith.”
Beth managed to compose herself. “Yes, of course you’re right, August. Faith is the key. Faith in God, though, not in the American military. God will give them strength and wisdom. Prayer is going to be the key to this victory, and I’m sorry that I let go of that wisdom.”
August stepped forward and put his hand on Beth’s arm. “I just wanted you to know what was going on before you heard about it from someone else. No doubt the newspaper will have enough about it in the days to come, but I never wanted to upset you. I know news like this can be frightening.”
“I’m all right now,” Beth said as she lifted her apron and dried her eyes. She wanted so much to prove her faith to August. Perhaps he’d once had faith, too, a faith that he’d lost because of tragedy. Maybe this was the reason God had sent August Eriksson into her life—not for love or marriage, but for him to see the truth of God’s love.
August studied her for a moment. He wanted to hold her, to make her believe that everything would be all right, but in spite of the feelings that continued to grow, August held himself back.
There was something in Beth’s eyes that signaled aloofness. She was content to put the entire matter in God’s hands, and it seemed to August that she didn’t need or desire his comfort. Shrugging his shoulders, he left the roadhouse with an ache in his heart for something he couldn’t explain.
The hot June sun caused sweat to pour down August’s back as he maneuvered the caterpillar into position. He was frustrated by Beth’s attitude and wondered how he could combat it. She never came out and talked with him about her true feelings. She always managed to hide behind God or biblical principles, almost as if she knew it would distance August from her.
Wiping his forehead with the back of his hand, August acknowledged that his biggest problem wasn’t Beth. God was pricking his conscience.
It was the little things that got to him. Things like the way Beth would ask him to say grace or the way Gerald would talk about something from Sunday school. Sometimes it was the simple, quiet moments when August was alone in his room and the silence came over him as if roaring out God’s name.
He’d not known a single moment’s peace since turning away from his heavenly Father, and the turmoil within his heart only grew. August wanted to shout out for God to leave him alone, but the pressure continued, mounting day by day.
The road work took August away from Beth and the boys for longer periods of time. Sometimes he never made it home because the midnight sun allowed them to work nearly around the clock. Often, August would drop exhausted into a sleeping bag inside one of the administration’s tents. The cots weren’t nearly as comfortable as the bed back at the roadhouse, but as tired as he was, it wouldn’t have mattered if he’d been sleeping on the ground.
Day after day the work continued. They called it “bulldozer surveying,” and it was little more than plowing a path through a place where a road had never been intended. Trees, brush, and rocks ended up in messy piles along the road, constant reminders of the haste in which the design was completed.
August would often stare for a long time at the tall spruce and birch trees, trees so thick and full that they were impossible to penetrate with the human eye. It seemed a pity to destroy them.
Dense forests were relieved by brilliant, crystal lakes so blue and inviting that August could almost forget his purpose. Glacier-fed rivers flowed in milky wonder, leaving reminders of the ice mountains that had carved the valleys.
In the distant south, snowcapped peaks rose majestically above green and blue valleys, and everywhere wildflowers carpeted the earth in colors so dazzling and radiant that words could not describe them.
“Eriksson!” a voice called above the roar of the cat’s engine. August shut the motor off and climbed down.
“What’s up, Bill?” August questioned, recognizing the man beneath layers of dirt and sweat.
“I’m supposed to take over your shift. Supervisor wants to see you.”
“Oh?” He wondered about the request as he went in search of Ralph Greening.
Ralph was waiting for August in his tent. “Come on in,” Ralph waved him in as he finished up a radio call. “Sorry for the interruption, but I have some good news for you.”
“Well, I’m always in the mood for good news interruptions,” August said with a smile.
“You’ve done a tremendous job for us, August, and I’d like to offer you a permanent position with the Public Roads Administration. You’d actually be left in charge of the Northway area after we pull out. They are going to want to establish a permanent road next year, and I can’t think of a better man to leave behind.”
“I’m flattered,” August said.
“Well, you’ve certainly earned it,” Ralph replied as he shuffled through a stack of papers. “I’ll be happy to return to the States and get away from these monstrous bugs and all this light. A body needs regular nights and days. I can’t figure out how you folks put up with constant light and then endless darkness.”
“I guess when you’re born here you don’t give it a lot of thought. We do suffer in the winter though. It’s hard to wake up in the dark, spend the day in the dark, and then go to sleep in the dark. Coupled with the cold—and I mean bitter, subzero cold—it is a problem,” August replied. “But there are winter compensations.”
“I don’t intend to be here long enough to find out. We plan to have the road completed before then, and after that you can put up with it.”
Hours later, August contemplated his promotion and the full responsibility that would be his when Ralph returned to the States. Did he want to head up such a task?
As he settled down for bed, August wondered at the turn of events. Not long ago he’d thought God had deserted him. How did he feel now? Hadn’t he proved to himself that he could live life without God?
He missed Beth and the boys. It had been over a week since he’d seen them. They were so important to him, and thoughts of them were never far from his mind. Did they ever think of him? Did they miss him like he missed them?
August closed his eyes, envisioning Bethany as she moved around her roadhouse. She was so gentle and pure, and her heart was devoted to God.
His he
art had once belonged to God, too. August shifted uncomfortably as he thought of his efforts to put God away from him. “But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.” August remembered the words of Matthew 10:33 almost against his will.
“But you took away all my dreams, God,” August argued, realizing that, for the first time in months, he was speaking to God. “You took it all: my dreams, my hopes, my family. Am I to be forsaken because I dared to think for myself, dared to make goals and dream dreams? I thought you wanted Your children to be happy. Am I to give up my dreams, even my very life, in order to be at peace with You?”
“He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it.” August pulled the pillow over his head as if he could block out the haunting words of Matthew 10:39. The words, however, would not be put aside. God’s Word had made its home in August’s heart for many years, and it would not leave just because August wished to escape its power.
Chapter 8
After spending two weeks without August in their home, Beth, Gerald, and Phillip were excited to see his weary frame coming up the path late one afternoon.
“Daddy!” Phillip announced when he spotted August. “Momma, Daddy’s here!”
Beth glanced out the window, and her hands automatically smoothed back her blond hair. August was home!
Gerald went dancing out the door, rushing into August’s arms. “I missed you,” he said as August whirled him around.
“And I missed you! Have you been a good boy?”
“I’ve been very helpful, just like you told me to be,” Gerald said as August put him down.
Phillip hurried to be next in August’s arms, while Beth stood to the side of the door, wishing she had the freedom her children enjoyed.
August’s eyes met hers over Phillip’s back. He noticed the softness and grinned at her, causing Beth’s heart to pound harder.
“And what about you?” Beth heard August ask Phillip. “Have you been a good boy?”
Brides of Alaska Page 19
