by Theresa Kay
Bang! Bang! Bang!
Lir mumbles something, his eyes and body still heavy with sleep, and he reaches for me as I slip out of bed. His hand falls back to the sheets, fingers curling into the fabric. It’s almost enough to make me crawl back into his arms, pull the pillow over my head, and shut out the world for a little while longer.
Bang!
But the person is obviously not going to give up. I slide into my clothes and walk barefoot to the door. I start talking before it’s fully open. “What in the hell are you—”
It’s the set of his shoulders, or maybe the look in his eyes, that tell me whatever news Gavin has to deliver is worse than I feared.
“Jax.” His voice is quiet and grim.
“Yeah?”
Gavin runs a hand over his head and down his face. “I don’t know the exact circumstance or what else is going on, but…”
“Spit it out.” Apprehension crawls down my spine.
He drags his hand through his hair. “Your brother. He’s here.”
Everything around me stops.
You’d think I’d be thrilled, but… Jace. Is here. What am I supposed to do with that? I have to ask Gavin to repeat himself before it truly registers. My brother. Is here. Why does this feel like an awful thing? Why did it have to be today? Now? This morning?
Is that why my dad had that guilty look yesterday? Was Jace here even then?
“You okay?” Gavin asks.
“Sure.” The word is a high-pitched squeak that doesn’t sound like me at all. I cough and smack my chest. Any other words I might find are stuck there, and I doubt they’re coming out anytime soon.
“General Carter…” His hand comes up and ruffles his hair. Again. A sigh. “He’s got your brother locked up in anticipation of some kind of trial, but they’re keeping him pretty well drugged up, and—”
“I want to see him.”
He gives me a sharp, tight-lipped nod. “Of course. That’s why I’m here. General Carter gave me special permission to take you to him.”
My eyes narrow, suspicion whispering in my ears. “Why?”
“I… I don’t know.”
“I hope he doesn’t think I’m going to convince my brother to work for him or something. I said I’m willing to be his weapon, but Carter gets me and my abilities, not Jace’s.” I nearly choke on what I say next. “He’s too dangerous. Unpredictable. And I won’t put him through… any of it.”
He won’t meet my eyes as he sighs again. “I don’t think that’s going to be an issue. He’s… Well, I think you need to see for yourself.”
A curt tip of my chin is the only response I give him. He pauses, brows raised, glancing over my shoulder, then shrugs and tilts his head down the hallway. I grab my boots from beside the door and follow.
As soon as the door shuts behind me, Gavin opens his mouth to ask something. I’m pretty sure I know what, so I don’t wait to hear the question.
“Lir’s still sleeping, and I don’t want to wake him. Not for this.” Guilt pricks at my stomach. It’s not that I don’t want Lir to be there, or that I think he wouldn’t want to be there, but he’s been through so much the past couple days with his uncle and his sister, and I don’t want to put him through this pain too. “Jace is my problem. He—”
“Jax!” A form comes jogging toward me. A familiar form.
“Peter? What are you doing here?”
The old priest rushes up to me and pulls me into a hug, giving me a hard pat on the back. “It’s good to see you, my dear. I wish it were under slightly better circumstances, but we can talk about all that later. I’ve done my best to convince them to let Jace out. He—”
“No,” I blurt in a whisper.
“No?” Both Peter and Gavin say at the same time.
“He… he’s…” I trail off, shaking my head. It was a gut reaction, but it feels right. Jace needs to stay locked up somewhere until someone can figure out how much of a threat he is. I swallow. That someone needs to be me. “I need to see him. I can… assess how much risk he poses.”
To make matters worse, Trel walks around the corner. She eyes me with suspicion, then turns her attention to Gavin and Peter. She and I might be friends—sort of—but she will not be pleased to hear that the person who killed her bondmate is here.
Moving on autopilot, I link arms with Peter and lead him over to Trel. I’ll worry about what Peter’s doing here later. Right now, his chattiness will make a good distraction. “Peter, this is Trel. She’s Rym’s sister. Trel, this is Peter. He’s… a friend. Why don’t you and Peter go visit with Lir? I have to go with Gavin for a bit.”
Trel’s eyes narrow, but when I don’t elaborate, she says, “Very well then.” She turns to Peter, who’s staring at her with open curiosity.
“My, if you and your brother don’t look so much alike,” he says. “You are twins though, yes? Like Jax and Jace?”
She blanches at the mention of my brother’s name, but manages to nod.
“And a child on the way? What a blessing. I love children. Never had any myself, obviously with the whole priest thing, but I adore them all the same. Do you know what you’re having? How far along are you?” For once, he catches himself rambling and blushes. “Sorry. I tend to get a little overexcited about things. I’m sure you’ve heard all about it from Jax, yes? Well, how about I take you up to see your cousin? I would love a chance to catch up with Lir. Did he ever tell you about that time he spent out at my cabin when—”
I clap my hands, interrupting whatever Peter was about to say. “Okay, you all are good then. I’ll catch up in a bit.”
Trel grabs my arm as I turn to walk away. “You are aware E’rikon have superior hearing, correct?”
Her meaning is clear. She heard what Gavin told me, and judging by the expression on her face, she’s not happy about it. I don’t blame her.
“Look—”
“No,” she hisses. “You keep him away from me. He does not deserve to walk free. Ever. Not after what he did.”
I hate it, but, oh crap, I kind of agree with her. “He… I…”
She sends me another stern look, then storms away, Peter close behind.
“Well, that went well,” I mutter to myself.
Gavin’s hand lands on my shoulder. “You ready?”
“Sure. Why not?” I take a quick breath, and we set off.
Before long, Harrison appears from who knows where and walks beside us, so it’s the three of us traversing the streets. My feet are dragging and my heart is somewhere in my throat. There’s a war in my stomach between hope, elation, worry, and… realistic expectations. I’m vacillating between knowing it’s hopeless and knowing it’s not. And damn is it a headache to “know” two opposing things.
“So…” Gavin says.
I sigh, but motion for him to continue.
“I’m surprised you’re in agreement with General Carter’s orders regarding keeping him in custody.”
I let out a dry laugh. “It seems lately I’ve spent more time than I’d like agreeing with the world’s assholes.” I shake my head softly. “Regardless of whose orders it was, I have some idea of what he’s capable of. This is what’s best for everyone. Even him.”
Gavin clears his throat. “I don’t know all the details of what happened back in Bridgelake or how all that telepathy stuffs works, but do you think there’s a chance…” He trails off, letting me fill in the rest of his question.
Do I think there’s a chance Jace is still in there? Do I think there’s a chance Jace could go back to being the brother I know?
Or…
Do I think there’s a chance Jace is gone forever? Do I think there’s a chance Jace could kill us all?
The answer to every one of those questions is yes.
That’s not what I tell Gavin though. To him, I simply say, “I don’t know. Maybe.” I’ll leave it up to him to decide which unspoken question I’m answering.
After another ten minutes of silent walking, we arrive at
a two-story brown building with narrow slits for windows. This place is definitely more official-looking than Bridgelake’s version of a jail. Hopefully the accommodations are a bit better as well.
Harrison nods at the two men standing by the door, and one of them pulls the door open and motions for us to enter. The interior is bland, but clean. Very institutional.
Another man sits at a small desk just inside the door. He stands. “Good to see you back, sir.”
“Thanks.” Gavin waves his hand dismissively. “We’re here to see the new prisoner. Which block is he in?”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea right now.” The man shuffles his feet and looks nervously at me. “He’s… not really in a state for visitors.”
I don’t like the sound of that.
“General Carter has given his explicit permission for this visit,” Gavin says.
The man shrugs. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He reaches under the desk, pulls out a key, and tosses it to Harrison. “He’s in block fifteen. Only one person goes in at a time, and try not to rile him up.”
“Understood.” Gavin jerks his chin toward the hallway. “Let’s go, Holmes.”
Harrison sets off down the hallway, and Gavin and I follow behind. After a few turns, we’re standing in front of a metal door marked with the number fifteen in large orange letters. Harrison shoots Gavin a look, then hands the key to me. I curl my fingers around it.
The key’s metal is cold against my palm—surprising since Harrison had it in his hand, but the chilly sensation grounds me, making this all the more real. Jace is here. Right behind this door. But he might not be my brother anymore. He might be that feral monster that killed Flint, that grinning psychopath who slit Dane’s throat without pause.
Sure, we spoke briefly when he was here stealing the ship, but it’s not like I had time to evaluate his mental state. And when he pulled me into his head… I’m still not sure which parts were Jastren and which parts were Jace. And whether any of the pieces of the brother I know and love were anywhere but lost deep inside his mind.
This is it. After I open this door, there’s no going back. If he’s… I won’t be able to ignore it. I won’t be able to fool myself into believing in him anymore.
My hands are shaking. Suddenly, I’m not so sure I want to see him right now.
Gavin’s hand wraps around mine. “He came here with the priest. There must be something of your brother left.”
There’s some hope in the idea that Peter spent time with him and still brought him here. Enough hope to unfreeze my limbs anyway. Okay then. I can do this.
I slide the key into the lock, turn it, and push the door open.
The door’s hinges are silent. I slip into the room and shut the door quietly behind me. I pause, waiting for my breaths to even out, before I step forward.
He’s on a cot, lying on his side and facing away from me. He doesn’t acknowledge my presence. He looks still, peaceful even. Maybe sleeping.
Then he rolls over and I have to choke back a gasp.
Jace’s hazel eyes are unfocused—they drugged him, I remind myself—but that’s not what has me running to his side without another second of hesitation. He’s always been a lanky guy, and he was skinny and undernourished when I got him out of the city, but now… His cheekbones stand out against his face as sharp ridges. Clothes prevent me from seeing his arms and legs, but his collarbone is clearly visible at the top of his shirt, along with the scratches all over his throat. There are scratch marks on his face, too, and deeper gouges up near his temples. Clumps of hair are missing, torn out at the roots, leaving bloody bald patches all over his head.
He hasn’t been here long enough for this all to have happened here. And it sure as hell didn’t happen overnight, either. How was he even walking a couple days ago, much less breaking into the base and stealing a ship?
The side of his mouth twitches. “Hey.”
My eyes are burning, and a sob blocks my throat. I blink rapidly and cover my mouth with one hand.
Jace’s eyes roll around the room once, then focus on me again. When he speaks, there’s a plaintive, wistful note to his voice. “None of that. No tears for me.”
I drop to my knees beside him and carefully wrap an arm around a shoulder so skinny I can practically feel the ridge of every bone. There’s no stopping the tears anymore. They track hot and wet down my cheeks.
My brother runs one hand lightly over my arm, but doesn’t say anything else.
When my tears have slowed to a trickle, I lean back and wait for his eyes to focus. “What did he do to you?”
A slow blink as he processes the question. “Nothing I didn’t deserve,” he finally says.
“What?” I jerk back. “How can you—”
The hard but tortured look on his face stops me from completing that stupid question.
There’s another long pause as he holds my gaze. “Did he suffer?”
“No,” I say softly, knowing he’s not referring to Jastren anymore.
“Okay.” He gives a barely perceptible nod and his eyes blink closed. His breathing slows, and his body relaxes. Sleeping again.
I sit with him in silence, running a hand over his hair, and let him get some much-needed rest. Despite his awful state, I’m almost elated. Jace is here. With me. This is my brother, not the twisted version of him I’d both expected and dreaded. Without Jastren’s influence, he can get better, get stronger, and everything will be okay.
Everything will be okay.
I lay an arm on the cot and rest my forehead on it. Some of the anxious turmoil drains from my body. I haven’t been up for very long, but all I want right now is a nap.
Muffled voices sound outside the door, and I jerk upright. It sounds like an argument. Is someone else here? Who? I rise to my feet just as the door swings open to reveal an aggravated Gavin and a scowling Lir.
“What’s going on?” I ask, glancing back and forth between the two of them.
“Why did you come here without me?” Hurt. Worry. Fear. “And they let you go in alone? It—”
“It’s fine. Besides, only one person is allowed in at a time.” I send a pointed glance to his feet positioned just inside the doorway.
Lir’s eyes stray to the cot behind me. “You promised… What if he’s dangerous?” Fear. Fear. Fear.
“He’s not. I’d be surprised if he could even stand up in the state he’s in.” I sit on the floor by the cot and run a hand over Jace’s hair.
Lir’s throat bobs, and he slowly and deliberately extends a hand. “His physical state does not necessarily reflect his mental one. And an E’rikon can use mental energy to fuel their physical body if there is nothing else.”
I roll my eyes and smile, still wrapped up in my joy over Jace’s return. We’ll be together again. A family. We don’t need anyone else. We can—
“Jax, I need you to take my hand. I don’t believe he’s doing it intentionally, but he is affecting you.”
Affecting me? Jace isn’t…
I close my eyes and sift through my mind. There. A fragile connection extends from the tiny sliver of hope that lives in my heart—and the connection is… feeding into that hope, but also feeding from it somehow. Like an emotional leech. It doesn’t hurt, and the connection isn’t malicious, but it’s definitely draining. No wonder I’m so tired all of a sudden.
I skim across the thin thread toward my brother and run into a dark nothingness on the other end. Even the dim illumination of the connection disappears into it. I’m not going to mess with that.
I open my eyes to find Lir kneeling right in front of me, his brow creased with worry.
“You’re right,” I say. “He found a way to connect to me. An energy transfer of some sort.”
“Were you able to disconnect him?”
“What? Why?”
Lir releases a slow breath through pursed lips, his shoulders tense and his hands curled into fists. “Did you not notice you cannot feel our bon
d right now?”
No. I hadn’t. But now that he’s mentioned it… yes, there’s a blank, lonely space in my head where Lir’s thoughts and emotions normally reside.
Lir must see the realization come over me. “I cannot feel it either,” he says. “After last night… I wasn’t sure. I was terrified something had happened to you. I can’t keep feeling like this…” He drags a hand over his face. “It was like losing you, losing the bond, all over again. I couldn’t reach you…”
I rest a hand on his arm. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think…” My gaze strays back to my brother’s prone form, and I bite my lip. “We’ll be able to help him, though… later?”
“If there is anyone who can help him, it’s you.” He grips my shoulders and looks into my eyes. “I will do whatever I can to help you. We will find a way. Together.”
I nod, still biting at my lip, and close my eyes. The connection has burrowed even deeper during the minute or so we’ve been talking, and it takes me a while to unwind the strands from my mind and gently release them. My energy isn’t instantly returned or anything, but the sleepy, draining feeling lifts away.
And everything Lir is feeling rushes into my head on a wave of relief.
He smiles and strokes my cheek. “We should—”
“You’re taking her away from me.” I jolt at the sound of Jace’s voice from behind me. He no longer sounds drugged and tired, but he’s not quite coherent either.
“I’ll come back soon. I promise,” I say, turning to my brother.
But rage simmers behind his eyes, and he’s focused solely on Lir, as if I hadn’t spoken at all. “You’re taking her away from me,” he repeats. His brow furrows. “Why?”
Lir’s hand finds mine. His panic level is rising again, but he keeps his voice steady. “I am not taking her away. I am—”
One of Jace’s hands shoots out and latches on to my upper arm, squeezing painfully. “No. She stays.” His upper lip curls into a snarl. “You just try to take her.”
The look on my brother’s face is so similar to the one he had when he killed Flint that fear begins to seep into my body. I have to defuse this situation before someone gets hurt—or killed. Still, of all the horrible things, he’s done, I doubt Jace would actually hurt me. Not on purpose. Maybe that’s how I can get through to him.
