I took the chance to lead the procession, getting up from my seat and kissing Harmony on the cheek before touching the casket and saying goodbye to my fallen Brother. I walked around and stood next to Harmony as I watched my Brothers and their families do the same before they headed for the door.
Optimus took station on the other side of the coffin, Chelsea wrapped in his arms as he nodded and shook hands with everyone who passed, silently thanking them for taking part.
Harmony never faulted; her voice and pitch still perfect, even as I watched tears drip from her stunning long lashes.
I found myself singing along to a song I knew so well. I watched as my mother and father walked over last, the room now almost empty except for my Brothers and all the men and women from Optimus’ chapter. Some stood just embracing their women, others mouthing the words to the song. Bright Eyes brushed a piece of hair from Harmony’s face. My girl finally opened her eyes and they smiled at each other. Oz shook my hand and took a place next to me, his deep voice resonating in the vast space as he joined my girl in the song.
It was surreal as I watched both men and women embrace each other and quietly sing along. It was never easy losing someone who was a part of your family. Saying goodbye never seemed like forever, not like it was today. We all knew we would never see him again. The kid might have shot my girl, but he saved her as well as me. The only reason I wasn’t the one laying cold in the casket was because of him. I owed him. We owed him. He was getting the final goodbye that he deserved.
When the guy from the funeral home came in, Optimus, Blizzard, Wrench, Tally, Tie and myself each took a handle of the coffin and made the long walk down the aisle. Harmony followed. The sound of her voice sent chills through my bones as she walked behind us.
When Harmony finally finished playing nobody applauded, nobody even moved. The air was still as we all took a moment.
“Best sendoff I think I’ve ever witnessed a Brother have,” my father said, patting me on the back.
Harmony pulled off her guitar and handed it to me. I watched as she walked over to one of the club girls, Dana I think her name was, and wrapped her up in a hug with quiet whispers in her ear. There had been tension between the two the first night Harmony and I had met, but since I saw her in Harmony’s room yesterday, there seemed to have been some kind of peace made between them.
“Let’s get our boy to his resting place so we can get back to the club,” Optimus said as we watched the undertaker close the hearse.
We all mounted our bikes and rode from the church to the cemetery. Bikes led the procession, others in cars followed behind, surrounding our fallen with family. Most of the family turned off and headed for Optimus’ clubhouse to start preparing for the party we were holding in Shield’s honor. It wouldn’t be big, with most of the club members from out-of-state and their families needing to return home as soon as possible, but it would be a goodbye that we would all remember. Harmony had gone with them. She’d said her goodbyes at the church and watching him being put in the ground was not something that she needed to see.
As we watched him placed in the perfectly carved hole, a small excavator that they used to put the soil back on top moved over to us. I held up my hand to stop the guy, he stared at me strangely.
“Get us some shovels.”
He looked at me for a moment before nodding.
A handful of us each took turns hefting the dirt into the hole, slowly covering the dark wooden coffin. I watched as it slowly disappeared under a mountain of dirt. That saying finally ringing true – Gone but never forgotten.
“Well, who’s gonna pour me drinks now?” Blizzard joked as he stripped his shirt off and wiped his forehead before shrugging his cut back on over his bare torso. The weather was still cooling, but fuck me if it wasn’t hot shoveling this shit in the middle of a wide open space. I had my shirt off and tucked into the back of my jeans and sweat still dripped down my body.
“Aw, poor baby is going to have to pour his own drinks,” Leo laughed. Blizzard shot him a look that said ‘Fucker are you crazy?’ and we all laughed.
“We have two other prospects you idiot,” Optimus said rolling his eyes.
Blizzard scoffed. “Neither of them could pour a beer like our boy here.” He gestured to the now mountain of dirt that sat at our feet, shaped into a perfect rectangle. The large headstone protruding proudly.
“Yeah, the kid was good behind the bar. Gonna miss him,” Wrench added.
“Yeah, he had that soft touch,” Optimus said. We all looked at him like he’d grown two heads. “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought we were pretending we had vaginas and this was the sharing circle.”
I chuckled. “Are we done? There’s only one pussy I need and it’s waiting for me back at the club.”
“I bet Harmony will get me a drink,” Tally shot as we walked back across the short grass to our bikes, he wiggled his eyebrows at me.
I shoved him and he stumbled. “Get your own drink you lazy asshole, leave my woman alone.”
The stupid thing was, I knew if he asked her that she would. But I didn’t want my girl distracted. It had been a long day and the first thing I wanted to do when I walked through those doors was to find Harmony, drag her to the bedroom and sink deep inside of her. I needed to feel her, to remind myself that she was there. That she was safe.
I mounted my bike but took one last look over at the space we had just left and was reminded that life is too short. The life of an MC wasn’t always danger and murder. When things are going right, it’s easy to forget that tomorrow isn’t promised to any of us. If anything, having my Brothers by my side made me feel as though I was invincible. But the reality is that I could be struck down tomorrow and there’s not a darn thing anyone can do about it.
With that in mind, I started my bike, the beast vibrating and rumbling between my legs. I needed my woman, I needed her now and I didn’t care what it took or what hoops I had to jump through, she would be coming home with me. Because spending another day without her, just wasn’t an option.
Loud music blared from the large speakers.
Rock music, so predictable.
I felt a strong arm wrap around my shoulders. I knew it wasn’t Kit as he was clearly in my line of sight, playing pool with Tie and Wrench. I watched as he laughed, playfully pushing his Brother before taking another shot from the table.
“It’s gonna be weird without you around,” Optimus said, placing his drink on the bar next to me. The room was cool with both the bi-folding doors opened out onto the patio. A fire raged outside, people milling around it. Mix lay back on a sofa and strummed at my guitar, a couple of club girls hanging off of him and giggling. Everyone was drinking, laughing, and genuinely having a good time. That’s the way it should be. I missed Caleb. But life would go on. We would remember him the way we needed to, and we would make the most of the fact that we were still here, even though he wasn’t.
“Get your hands off my girl, Op. Don’t be trying to convince her to stay,” I heard Kit shout across the room, but when I looked up I found him with a beaming smile.
“I can offer her just as much as you, fucker!” Optimus called back, raising his middle finger in the air.
I laughed as Kit did the same before returning to his game. “You won’t miss me, there’s still plenty of other club girls to keep you boys on your toes.”
The second Kit had me alone after the funeral, he’d told me he didn’t plan to leave me here. I would be going back with him. His words were stern and to the point, and I knew he obviously expected me to fight him on it. But I wouldn’t. I wanted to be with Kit. If I had to re-sit a class or two by transferring my credits to another college then so be it. But I wouldn’t spend another day away from him.
I was falling and I was falling hard.
Optimus pulled on my shoulder and spun me to face him. His usually stern and serious demeanor was now soft. “Harm, you’re more than just a club girl. You’re family. You always have been.” I shook m
y head, but he continued, “You think I would let any of the other whores here get away with talking to me like you do? Even before Kit was in the picture you always had something to say, but you also had respect for us assholes and knew when it needed to be said. The guys love you, more than just in the way that they wanna get into your pants. I’m surprised this shit didn’t happen sooner with one of our own guys.”
I smiled. “I’m glad it didn’t.”
“Being an Old Lady is hard work sometimes. And an Old Lady to a president, even more so.” He looked a little concerned and I couldn’t help but grin.
“Like you just said, I know where and when it’s appropriate to have my say. So don’t you think I’m gonna let Kit off easy.”
“Didn’t think you would, babe.” Optimus grinned back at me, an expression I very rarely had the pleasure of seeing, so I basked in it. This place had been my home, and in a strange way these men had been my family. They had taken me in, supported me. It was weird to think now, that before, I hadn’t wanted anything more. I didn’t want love, I didn’t want a man to stand up and say he cared for me, for fear that I would fall into his trap only to have my heart broken.
But now I realized that I was only coasting. Enjoying myself and having fun – just making it by, but never really living. Kit breathed life into me. He made me feel things that scared the ever loving shit out of me, but that I wouldn’t give up now for the world. I’d loved music before, it was my heart and soul. But now the power behind the lyrics of the songs that I played seemed to have so much more meaning. Music needed heart, and now that mine was full, there was no stopping me.
“You’ll take care of Chelsea, right?” I said.
“Harmony…” he growled, his face quickly turning serious again.
I held up my hand sharply. “No. Listen to me. Sort your shit out. Chelsea will be done with college soon. And just like me, she’ll be looking for work, for some way to use her degree. Being a club girl is all fine and dandy when we were just going to classes and studying. But we study for a reason – to get work afterward. And you know that as soon as that happens unless she has a reason to stay, she’ll be outta here.”
He stared over my shoulder to where I knew Chelsea was sitting with Slider, Wreck, Del and a young woman that Kit explained they’d found during their raid on Daniel Ashley’s place – Andie I think? She was covered with bruises, but even then she was absolutely stunning with dark hair that hung almost to her hips. She didn’t speak much, but she also didn’t shy away from people. Slider seemed to have taken quite a shining to her and had made it his mission to make her smile.
“Chel wants a prince. I ain’t no prince, Harm.”
“Prince or no prince, Chelsea just wants someone to give a shit about her. She never had that. She was here for the same reason I was because it’s what we know.”
He frowned at me for a long time. “I got your girl covered.”
“One day you need to tell her how you feel,” I said quietly.
His frown slowly turned into an awkward glare, one that told me I was exactly right about the whole damn situation. Optimus and Chelsea had been doing this dance for a long time. I just hoped he let her know before she finally chose to throw in the towel.
“We’ll see.”
“Harmony!” Oz wandered over to us and wrapped his arms around me. He looked up at Optimus. “We’ve got the fire burning good and strong for when you’re ready.”
Optimus nodded and quickly headed in the direction of his office. Oz turned me and directed me outside, others seeming to follow, heading for the bright glowing flames that were now engulfing the large makeshift fire pit.
“What’s going on?” I asked, a little confused as to why the music had gone quite as well as the conversations.
“When we lose a Brother, his patches are kept to put up on the wall, but his cut is burned,” he explained as we came to stand close to the fire, the heat burning my skin. Others seemed to turn and listen as Oz spoke, only proving to me exactly what Kit had said about his father. He was a natural leader, people flocked to him and wanted to hear what he had to say. “We don’t know where we’re going after this life – heaven, hell, who the fuck knows. But wherever we are, we have no doubt that the club is still a part of us. Burning our Brother’s cut means we get to watch it float away with the ashes and dust, in hopes it will find them and keep them safe even in the afterlife.”
The explanation made my heart both sink and soar at the same time. I watched as every single person crowded around. Kit came to my side, linking his fingers through mine and offering a silent support as Optimus finally emerged with a bare cut. The new patches that had been sewn on and displayed at the funeral today were gone, but there was a slightly faded part of the leather that showed where Caleb’s prospect patch had been. The patch he had worn with so much pride.
Everyone was silent, obviously this wasn’t the type of ceremony that needed words. Everyone knew what this meant. It meant he was gone. But as Optimus held the cut above the fire, my head and my heart told me that it needed something more. This was Caleb. His sendoff needed to be special.
“Wait!” Everyone turned to look at me, startled by my outburst. I searched the crowd. “Mix, pass me the guitar. If it’s okay with you, I want to play, just one more.”
I watched as Optimus eyed each of the men surrounding us. It was obviously unorthodox and not part of the norm, so he needed to check with his Brothers before allowing me to insert myself in and change a long time tradition. When he caught my eyes again, he nodded and Mix quickly handed me my instrument. I sat down on the arm of the sofa with it laid across my lap.
My fingers knew the song my heart wanted to play – ‘I See Fire’ by Ed Sheeran. It was about Brotherhood and standing strong even in the depths of despair. Even in the eye of danger these men would stand up for their family and the people that they cared about, and no Brother lost would be forgotten. The song seemed so fitting as we watched Optimus throw the leather cut into the fire. The flames quickly consumed it – like it was completely insignificant. But it wasn’t.
I stormed down the hallway from my bedroom. I’d sobbed. I’d moped. I’d felt sorry for myself. And now, I was done.
“Where is he?” I demanded, finding Kit, Optimus, Blizzard and Tally at the large table we used for meals, drinking coffee.
“Good morning to you too, babe.” Kit smirked.
I jabbed a finger at him. “Don’t babe me, Kit. I want to know where you have him.”
“Not quite sure who you’re talking about there, Harmz,” Blizzard said, smiling from ear to ear.
I leaned on the table, both palms flat, eying each of the Brothers. “Target isn’t around. I told you what happened. Now I want to know where you have him held because I’m passed the upset, whoa-is-me stage of grieving. I’m now in full blown angry at the world stage. If you guys want to deal with that, then be prepared. Or, you let me take it out on the bastard who deserves every little bit of anger and venom I can throw at him and let me move on.”
They all just continued to stare at me. Not even shocked at my outburst, but strangely smug about it.
“Thank fuck. We thought you’d never ask,” Tally said, throwing his hands in the air.
I frowned over at Kit and he grinned. “We’ve been waiting for you to be ready. Usually, we don’t bring women into club business, but we all voted that this time you needed to have your piece of him.”
“And why didn’t you just tell me this in the first place?”
“We weren’t in a hurry. Bastard ain’t going nowhere. The longer, the better. Gives him time to freak out about all the ways we’re gonna hurt him.”
“I need to see him,” I said, my body sagging.
Kit stood and came around to wrap me in his arms. “Then let’s get this done, so we can get outta here and head home.”
The boys all pushed their chairs back and Kit took my hand as we followed them through the hallway and out the back of the buildin
g. I thought I knew every inch of this clubhouse, every piece there was to explore. Turns out I was wrong.
“After the club took over the hotel, the boys found this underground room. We guess it was meant to be like a bomb or tornado shelter. It was massive. Could have nearly housed everyone who was staying at the place for a short amount of time,” Optimus explained. He opened the door to a small concrete shed which I always assumed was maybe a caretaker’s shed.
But no, inside there were dirty shelves lining the walls, but in the center there were stairs which looked like they could be covered or hidden if need be. Before we walked down them, Kit pulled me to a stop.
“This goes no further, Harmony. This is a place meant for members only. Never women.”
I nodded and gave his hand a squeeze.
When we reached the bottom, I was surprised by how large the room actually was. Easily the size of the room we had inside that housed the bar and all our parties. It was lit up brightly and I actually had to squint before my eyes adjusted to the bright lights.
There was a small room off to the side which I could see had a steel door. Something I knew wasn’t a part of the original design, and inside was a toilet and a bed. The perfect housing for a prisoner.
But it was the person who was shackled to the wall on the other side of the room that drew my attention and caused my body to seethe in anger.
“You bastard,” I stormed toward him. His hands were cuffed out wide with thick chains and his legs were bound together and held to the wall, his body making a large Y-shape. He was stripped down to a pair of boxer shorts and his body was covered in bruises. As he lifted his head up, he caught sight of me and his lips formed a cocky smirk.
Two strong arms wrapped around my waist, halting my advances. Kit held me as I screamed obscenities at a smug looking Target.
“You asshole! I hope you fucking die! I’m gonna rip your balls off and force feed them to you if I get my hands on you!”
Harmony (The Club Girl Diaries Book 1) Page 22
